FabSwingers.com forum: Replying to emails

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is mainly aimed at couples.

Just wondered what your views are on ppl who don't reply to mail?

We always send a reply if we get mail (unless it's from the ppl we've asked not to contact us. lol) even if it's just a polite no thanks, but have noticed that lots of others don't or won't.

Our opinion is that if ppl have taken the time to get in touch the least we can do is reply.

Your thoughts please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's only polite we say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always reply ....

sometimes its not straight away as i like to get scotts opinion too but defo always reply xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a singles view on this sometimes people just get way to many emails to reply to i find when i come online i get loads and to answer them all takes time i go down list and friends get replys first as do the ones that that meet my requirements though if i sit all day replying to mail i dont get the chance to look on forums or go into chat hence i can be weeks behind with mail as each day brings new mail maybe its the same for couple to many mails n just not enough time xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (John) have recently started playing on my own and had been messaging couples/fems....surely its not to much to reply even if it's a no?

This is something i would always as its polite to do so.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"a singles view on this sometimes people just get way to many emails to reply to"

Which is why I aimed it at couples. lol

We know single females get 100s of messages.

Us poor couples don't get many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some couples must get loads to so was just my tupence worth sori xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some couples must get loads to so was just my tupence worth sori xx"
same for single females ant it

but to the answer of the question i no it was direct to couples

but i reply to all mail sent to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I (John) have recently started playing on my own and had been messaging couples/fems....surely its not to much to reply even if it's a no?

This is something i would always as its polite to do so.

Are you messaging them as a couple or a single tho and do the couples you message state they play alone?

We've had contact from "couples" who, after a few messages, turn out to be singles.

We play on our own as well but only message ppl who state on their profile that they also do this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"some couples must get loads to so was just my tupence worth sori xx"

No need to apologise T, there must be some lucky couples out there who get loads. lol

It's not us tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well if they not replying to u its their loss xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well if they not replying to u its their loss xx"
exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont get many mails but those we do get we always reply, its also amazing that couples think 1 liner mails are OK, we find they are as welcome from couples as they are from singles which is NOT VERY, its always better when some thought has gone into it instead of "yous interested in fun we us" which is 1 mail we received.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dont get many mails but those we do get we always reply, its also amazing that couples think 1 liner mails are OK, we find they are as welcome from couples as they are from singles which is NOT VERY, its always better when some thought has gone into it instead of "yous interested in fun we us" which is 1 mail we received."
shame i send you 1

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

We reply to most mails only mails we dont reply to is people without pics or mails with, wanna fuck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck getting past the single guy filter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we reply to most folks..........but sometimes if some folks obviously bothered reading the profile we dont bother replying.....but we do try and answer everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/10 14:01:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck getting past the single guy filter

"
lol i read the profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not interested i dont reply xx

my choice x

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By *unrigMan
over a year ago

aberdeen

I think everyone should reply even if ot is thanks but no thanks its nice to be nice

Stuart

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By *ountrypairCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

allways try n reply unless s obvious they havent read profile n then i figure there just chancing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i do try and reply to my mail.. but i dont reply to the rude ones... or the ones that are like a fantasy story crap ie copy and paste..

plus i think if it shows in their message they havent read ur profile and im sure the couples agree if u have "not looking for single males" on ur profile and a single guy males u asking for meet what do u do ???

i get mail from tom dick and harry down south who are over my age limits saying im up in fife on business fancy a shag ?????????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a single guys point of view I would prefer if ppl emailed back and said no rather than jus delete your mail with no reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From a single guys point of view I would prefer if ppl emailed back and said no rather than jus delete your mail with no reply "

We delete messages from single guys without reading them if they make initial contact with us but as it says we'll do this on our profile it generally means they haven't read it (or they're just chancers. lol).

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By *bi_scotlandTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 26/01/10 18:28:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we reply to most messages.

only 1s we dont are the 1s that clearly havent read our profile or the"are yous free right now" types ggrrr

sayn that some polite no thanx get a message in return sayn why not???

auds xx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I have it clearly stated on my profile if i dont reply to emails then plz dont be offended as u dont met my requirements ie~age looks or just the way the email is written.

I dont think id get so stressed if someone didnt reply to my email i just take it as a not intrested and move on xxxxx

luv jacs

xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im sure it rapidly stops being fun and borders on becoming a job all by itself for solo fems, replying to messages.

So, clicking delete on what truely aint your "cup o tea" is understandable.

Similar for couples?

Has anyone ever given in to "persistance", you know,folks who think if they keep at you and at you,,,,,ohh and at you,lol, they think they may twist your arm enough you will maybe somehow miraculously feel obliged to meet em?

Its not the way to go, but i bet it happens.

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always email back, but just now we dont get on too often and our inbox is jam packed. i think theres emails sitting unopened from before new year!! We will sit and flick through them when we get more time.

but we dont email back to the message that we have had from 4-5 different new accounts regarding a 'new anal trick' that the fella has as its just a cut and paste effort. has anyone else had this one btw?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we always email back, but just now we dont get on too often and our inbox is jam packed. i think theres emails sitting unopened from before new year!! We will sit and flick through them when we get more time.

Aye so tempted to meet him just to see him squirm lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just mail a female seen unread an deleted

then mail her again iam block

even though i meet her criteria

ant got a clue in why she block me

newbie as well

just mail her 2 chat with her 1st as it stated in profile

not even a look at profile either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy it's fairly easy for me to reply to any emails I recieve and always make a point of doing so even if it's a polite no thanks after all it is a case of manners costing nothing, however I do totally understand why single fems and couples often don't as if I had to spend an hour

everytime I logged In replying to emails from people who hadn't took time to read profile or

who just weren't want I was looking for think the novelty would soon wear very thin. What I'd love to see on site is maybe a no thanks button as one of the options as you read an email so would

be a simple click to let someone know not interested, I know it's not v personal but would

be a polite quick way for those recieving lots of mail to politely reject those not interested in, just a thought does anyone else think this would work?

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

"just mail a female seen unread an deleted

then mail her again iam block

even though i meet her criteria

ant got a clue in why she block me

newbie as well

just mail her 2 chat with her 1st as it stated in profile

not even a look at profile either "

Probably a guy!?

xAx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just mail a female seen unread an deleted

then mail her again iam block

even though i meet her criteria

ant got a clue in why she block me

newbie as well

just mail her 2 chat with her 1st as it stated in profile

not even a look at profile either

Probably a guy!?

xAx"
more than likely reported it

anyways

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

ooooh snap! lol, check out the verify though! Bit fishy me thinks

We always try to reply to all messages, (even single guys, although we ask them not to mail - sometimes with a bit of constructive criticism thrown in)

I sometimes wonder why we should bother wasting our time replying to messages who clearly haven't bothered to think about what they're writting though.

xAx

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

"just mail a female seen unread an deleted

then mail her again iam block

even though i meet her criteria

ant got a clue in why she block me

newbie as well

just mail her 2 chat with her 1st as it stated in profile

not even a look at profile either

Probably a guy!?

xAx

more than likely reported it

anyways "

Why would you report someone for not looking at your profile and deleting your message??

What if they just weren't interested because you dont have any pics?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just mail a female seen unread an deleted

then mail her again iam block

even though i meet her criteria

ant got a clue in why she block me

newbie as well

just mail her 2 chat with her 1st as it stated in profile

not even a look at profile either

Probably a guy!?

xAx

more than likely reported it

anyways

Why would you report someone for not looking at your profile and deleting your message??

What if they just weren't interested because you dont have any pics?

A"
its a fake profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do couples complaing about single guys contacting them?

There is a button that you can click that stops single guys from being able to contact you....

Seriously, seems like a lot of wasted ranting, when you can just stop the contact altogether....

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

Oh right, sorry I misunderstood, you mean... anyone who's not interested in you is fake?

It's good that your experience of being on the site a whole 8 weeks gives you that knowledge.

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

"Why do couples complaing about single guys contacting them?

There is a button that you can click that stops single guys from being able to contact you....

Seriously, seems like a lot of wasted ranting, when you can just stop the contact altogether.... "

We haven't blocked single guys contacting us because there are loads of other reason we might get messages from them. It's the 'fancy a fuck' ones that are annoying (which wouldn't be that bad, but after about the 4th one in a week from the same guy...)

xAx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its a fake profile "

A bit off topic here and Im sorry but I was just wondering how people know they are fake profiles other than the blatant ones??

I can honestly say I have never reported someone for being fake cos my polite side kicks in and I think just cos I think they are fake doesnt mean they actually are!

As for people deleting and not replying I tend to just assume its a no thanks and delete from my sent mailbox.

What does annoy me and has for years is when a profile states very clearly "all mails will be replied to, please do the same even if its a no thanks" then they dont reply

and I have found couples to be the worst for this

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh right, sorry I misunderstood, you mean... anyone who's not interested in you is fake?

It's good that your experience of being on the site a whole 8 weeks gives you that knowledge.

A"
sorry dont follow you..

the user made no attempt to mail me back

didnt read the mail i sent

an didnt even look at profile

just block me for no reason an only looking for chat

think that very strange dont you think

fed up with people just came on for a nosey

i meet the user criteria

why do users join an don't chat even though thats what there looking for

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

"Oh right, sorry I misunderstood, you mean... anyone who's not interested in you is fake?

It's good that your experience of being on the site a whole 8 weeks gives you that knowledge.

Asorry dont follow you..

the user made no attempt to mail me back

didnt read the mail i sent

an didnt even look at profile

just block me for no reason an only looking for chat

think that very strange dont you think

fed up with people just came on for a nosey

i meet the user criteria

why do users join an don't chat even though thats what there looking for "

I still dont understand how that qualifies you to report them for being fake??

Anyway, that's nothing to do with what the OP asked...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nor is the rest of the post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do couples complaing about single guys contacting them?

There is a button that you can click that stops single guys from being able to contact you....

Seriously, seems like a lot of wasted ranting, when you can just stop the contact altogether....

xAx"

I have to agree with Aimee sometimes people may want to reply to something said here in the forums so I dont block anyone (other than the people with no pics, I have pics and Im butt ugly) and if someone annoys me I block them rather than tar all people with the same brush.

But I can also see the other point if you dont want men contacting you block them then no need to moan about yet another "pubs closed see who will drop all their clothes for me" type email.

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do couples complaing about single guys contacting them?

There is a button that you can click that stops single guys from being able to contact you....

Seriously, seems like a lot of wasted ranting, when you can just stop the contact altogether.... "

We haven't blocked single guys but have it stated clearly on our profile in big bold letters what we'll do with any initial contact messages from them.

We have our reasons for not blocking altogether.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh right, sorry I misunderstood, you mean... anyone who's not interested in you is fake?

It's good that your experience of being on the site a whole 8 weeks gives you that knowledge.

Asorry dont follow you..

the user made no attempt to mail me back

didnt read the mail i sent

an didnt even look at profile

just block me for no reason an only looking for chat

think that very strange dont you think

fed up with people just came on for a nosey

i meet the user criteria

why do users join an don't chat even though thats what there looking for "
maybe she did look at you but hid??,,,i know theres a stop folk seeing youv looked button? maybe she looked but didnt like what she saw?

just my thot,,maybe im talking nonesense as per lol

auds xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just under the subject

why is it when newbies join an you help em

but all you get is abuse back an then block

dont understand in users like thease

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"just mail a female seen unread an deleted

then mail her again iam block

even though i meet her criteria

ant got a clue in why she block me

newbie as well

just mail her 2 chat with her 1st as it stated in profile

not even a look at profile either "

There could be lots of people who meet a persons criteria.....it doesn't mean they have to chat or meet you.

It is called choice. We all choose who we want to speak to, we all choose who we want to play with.

How do you know it was unread? She may have read it, decided you wasn't for her and then deleted it.

If your attitude is " well I want to chat and you are there" then I can only suggest that is why you are not getting anywhere.

It also doesn't make the person fake because they choose who they want to chat to or meet.

Blocks are there to use as they wish .....there doesn't have to be a reason given.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/01/10 00:22:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck getting past the single guy filter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The majority that delete your mail without a reply are rude! (some may be so lucky that they have a que at the door!) But ask yourself a question! "would you like to meet a rude person or persons?" I know that I personaly would not! Ignore them and move on as there are a lot of nice, non time wasting, non up themself people on here and we should applaud them for their efforts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is this DJ Rocker for real or just at the wind up? to be honest dude many females get so many messages, even the unverified and brand new accounts. Mabye she glanced at the email, checked the profile and just didnt click with it?

Mabye fix the grammer of the profile and spend a bit more effort on it? might work wonders. also the idea that if you arent someones cup of tea makes them Fakers is bonkers.

it can get frustrating when you dont hear back from people, we get it at times too. but we arent all going to hook up with everyone, its natural that people dont click, god we arent everyones cuppa tea either.

i think mabye a bit of patience and ultimately Maturity is whats called for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just mail a female seen unread an deleted

then mail her again iam block

even though i meet her criteria

ant got a clue in why she block me

newbie as well

just mail her 2 chat with her 1st as it stated in profile

not even a look at profile either "

I've quoted this stat before, 1300 messages accumulated in 2 weeks/ 1 solo female new to the site, i helped her prune throught the "one liners" the "persistants" still was a losing battle to make it manageable without ruthelessly simply deleting even the "nicest" messages,hope that both may explain why you got what you got and put into perspective sometimes who you feel you "Should get a reply" from.

Being the right person with the right message at exactly the right time, you may find its nothing more complex than that, cheers,just my 2p worth

T xx

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By *cotscple4funCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

"This is mainly aimed at couples.

Just wondered what your views are on ppl who don't reply to mail?

We always send a reply if we get mail (unless it's from the ppl we've asked not to contact us. lol) even if it's just a polite no thanks, but have noticed that lots of others don't or won't.

Our opinion is that if ppl have taken the time to get in touch the least we can do is reply.

Your thoughts please."
we reply always but then next day we get the same person asking the same things thats when we dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regardind the OP, as a couple we dont really mail that many people but to be fair, if were mailing them then theres a good chance that lots of other people are mailing them too and realise that they may not have the time to reply to all.

On the face of it, not getting a reply may be seen as rude but in the bigger picture then we dont really mind.

If I (Steve) mail a single fem (or fem as part of a couple that plays alone) then I'll often add a wee note to my mail to say that I dont mind of I dont get a reply as I understand they could be mobbed with mail.

Even though our profile says we dont meet single guys, we dont have them blocked cos were chat mods and sometimes members from all catagories want to get in touch and we dont get that many mails from guys anyway, they are obviously reading our profile.

I do however think that the "No thanks" button that deepdiver suggested somehwere up there ^^^^ is a fantastic idea.

As Rubgy said, its all about choice, we can choose who to chat to, who to br friendly with, who to meet and who to decline.

Steve xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well reference over the past few days ive maybe mailed 20 -30 people couples and singles .....out of that ive recieved maybe 2 replys and i havnt been asking for a "F" but a chat to start with

slight regional variation all those ive mailed south of the border have replyed even if to say "no thanks" mmm wonders eh

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By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

We always reply to couples who mail us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is this DJ Rocker for real or just at the wind up? to be honest dude many females get so many messages, even the unverified and brand new accounts. Mabye she glanced at the email, checked the profile and just didnt click with it?

Mabye fix the grammer of the profile and spend a bit more effort on it? might work wonders. also the idea that if you arent someones cup of tea makes them Fakers is bonkers.

i think mabye a bit of patience and ultimately Maturity is whats called for

"
fix grammer of a profile

hum

my profile is fine thank you

maybe you need to sort out your grammer as well as spelling could not make it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DJ Rocker... I think all that PrettyNginger were trying to do is offer some constructive criticism to you with maybe the hope of helping you along the way. We were all new on here once, indeed prettynginger once were and they both took advice when it was given.

Been truth full, your profile has got a lot of bad grammar and spelling mistakes. As your profile is your small advert to the site, it has to stand out for the right reasons. Also, it is quite easy for people to search for a users posts in the forum.... Some will use that to gauge what a person is like before contact.

I'm sure that our profile is far from perfect, in fact have been told so before, so we went away and modified it... Although still far from perfect I'm sure.

Meets don't come over night, stick with it though and learn from others and you will do fine.

Take care

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my profile is set for truth an always has been

for those that single me out already your loss

my spelling an grammer are both fine not like the rest of them on here

i am not here to meet couples iam here to meet single woman so please get that straight

i only posted in what 1 female said an straight give me abuse

an now getting it here

do you think that fair

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

[Removed by poster at 28/01/10 22:41:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think you may be over reacting a little bit no one was being offensive just truthful and how they see it xx

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

"my profile is set for truth an always has been

for those that single me out already your loss

my spelling an grammer are both fine not like the rest of them on here

i am not here to meet couples iam here to meet single woman so please get that straight

i only posted in what 1 female said an straight give me abuse

an now getting it here

do you think that fair"

That'll be you told then Steve!? lmao

A xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think you may be over reacting a little bit no one was being offensive just truthful and how they see it xx"
actually i didn't over react to the mail in question

it was abusive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i didnt mean the mail obviously thats private! x

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"my profile is set for truth an always has been

for those that single me out already your loss

my spelling an grammer are both fine not like the rest of them on here

i am not here to meet couples iam here to meet single woman so please get that straight

i only posted in what 1 female said an straight give me abuse

an now getting it here

do you think that fair"

DJ - I can't see that it was abuse it was more advice than anything else

Have looked at your profile and sorry but the grammAr (not grammEr) and spelling is not fine as you put it - iam should be 2 words (I am or I'm) and not 1 as you use it. It's discreEt not discreAt, you also use an instead of and all the time.

There are a few others too but this isn't meant to anything other than just pointing out that what they said was true and not abuse as you put it.

Again no offence meant - just my tuppence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i didnt mean the mail obviously thats private! x"
its what i been talking about in the 1st place

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

"i didnt mean the mail obviously thats private! xits what i been talking about in the 1st place"

You never mentioned anything about getting an abusive mail from the fem in the first place? Infact you seemed more p'd off that she didnt reply at all before blocking you??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i didnt mean the mail obviously thats private! xits what i been talking about in the 1st place

You never mentioned anything about getting an abusive mail from the fem in the first place? Infact you seemed more p'd off that she didnt reply at all before blocking you??

"
the reason i was pf as you put it

she send me abusive mail back

an I tried to email her back but couldn't in response to the abuse mail sent to me in first place

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

Am ducking out of this thread - Can just see it ending up in the FAB forum abyss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my profile is set for truth an always has been

for those that single me out already your loss

my spelling an grammer are both fine not like the rest of them on here

i am not here to meet couples iam here to meet single woman so please get that straight

i only posted in what 1 female said an straight give me abuse

an now getting it here

do you think that fair

DJ - I can't see that it was abuse it was more advice than anything else

There are a few others too but this isn't meant to anything other than just pointing out that what they said was true and not abuse as you put it.

Again no offence meant - just my tuppence

"
lmao bb trust you xx

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"my profile is set for truth an always has been

for those that single me out already your loss

my spelling an grammer are both fine not like the rest of them on here

i am not here to meet couples iam here to meet single woman so please get that straight

i only posted in what 1 female said an straight give me abuse

an now getting it here

do you think that fair

DJ - I can't see that it was abuse it was more advice than anything else

There are a few others too but this isn't meant to anything other than just pointing out that what they said was true and not abuse as you put it.

Again no offence meant - just my tuppence

lmao bb trust you xx

I just couldn't help myself Angie xxx

Right that's me ducking back out again lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can simply get crossed wires so easily too on here, i sent a simple "introducing myself" style message to a couple, was chuffed to get a nifty reply saying, "oh hi we like your profile,we need to chat".

Ok, chat just now? In a while? Tommorow then? Was what i thought to myself, 8 hours later i thought i'll just send a "hi you said you both fancied a chat"?

Reply, came in the style of me being "tetchy "etc,lol, i went back and re-read their reply,thinking i had got the wrong couple or something, nope, was them and "we need to chat" wa the idea.

But you always no matter how petty,daft or irritating it seems, always simply move on.

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

glad to see that our small advice was recieved as the grammar was fixed, but no need to fly off the handle after fixing it

. hope that you can get on the meeting trail now, thank god we are to be soon too after this pregnancy

happy days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost me, can paste in the particular persons responses your replying to.

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By *plfromfifeCouple
over a year ago

levenmouth

its common courtesy to reply to an e-mail someone has sent you, even if its just to say thanks but no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its common courtesy to reply to an e-mail someone has sent you, even if its just to say thanks but no thanks"

one thousand three hundred of them? lol

Thats a job,bit more than a courtesy,lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lost me, can paste in the particular persons responses your replying to.

our post had nothing to do with you, just because it was after your post does not mean its a reply,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab

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