FabSwingers.com forum: What is with

By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

The nasty first messages. Do guys really think that some of the stuff they put in a first message actually works, and will get them a reply?

I am a very open minded person when it comes to sex, but I don't need to be asked if I like xyz in a first message, told they would pay for abc (yes mods, I report them all then block), or describe in detail something they want to do in general.

Seriously has a message like that ever worked. Why do it then?

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By *iss stiletto loverWoman
2 weeks ago

Motherwell

I absolutely agree you and think its been a lot worse past couple months. I also report and block and thankfully have noticed a few accounts being taken down recently as a result. I think sometimes its all for a reaction or interaction which I never give anyone the satisfaction

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By *hyme2020Woman
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

It’s definitely worse. I got sent a message Sunday from a profile it says the guy is 35. He opened up by saying if I was his sexy mum he would pound my pussy hard and fill me with his cum. I told him he was disgusting and was about to block him when he messaged back saying how naughty it would be though. Vile!!! So many men don’t have a clue and they fill out message boxes with utter dross and don’t think we’ve read most of what they say before

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

"It’s definitely worse. I got sent a message Sunday from a profile it says the guy is 35. He opened up by saying if I was his sexy mum he would pound my pussy hard and fill me with his cum. I told him he was disgusting and was about to block him when he messaged back saying how naughty it would be though. Vile!!! So many men don’t have a clue and they fill out message boxes with utter dross and don’t think we’ve read most of what they say before "

I got a message within tbe hour from a guy claiming to be 45. He wasn't a day under 58, clearly lying to get round filters. He tried to act completely oblivious when I called him out on it too. My grandpa looks younger! And you cant put that down to a hard paper round

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By *umbernauld guy500Man
2 weeks ago

Cumbernauld

I'm fairly certain not all guys are like that, its like dick pics, I dont get that either.

I will however say that I like a girls pictures and she looks great.

The friendly approach has to be better.

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By *oupleInSyncCouple
2 weeks ago

Falkirk

If it's of any consequence, the same happens with our profile and funnily enough I always wonder to myself if this approach ever works 😂. Had one a couple of days ago with a standard 🥱 "how are you guys", bit of a pet hate, but thought I'd reply and say that we were good. To which he replied with a cock pic and his phone number. Then when he'd checked if the message had been read, followed up with "?" 🙄 I felt I had to reply and mention that we never asked for his phone number, nor a pic of his cock.

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

"I'm fairly certain not all guys are like that, its like dick pics, I dont get that either.

I will however say that I like a girls pictures and she looks great.

The friendly approach has to be better. "

I dont mind a dick pic, but no, I dont want it shoved in my face in the first message either.

And you're right about it not being everyone. Its the few that spoil it.

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By *umbernauld guy500Man
2 weeks ago

Cumbernauld

"I'm fairly certain not all guys are like that, its like dick pics, I dont get that either.

I will however say that I like a girls pictures and she looks great.

The friendly approach has to be better.

I dont mind a dick pic, but no, I dont want it shoved in my face in the first message either.

And you're right about it not being everyone. Its the few that spoil it."

Yeah i definitely wouldn't dick pic as an opener.

And it does spoil it for others

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By *hyme2020Woman
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

"If it's of any consequence, the same happens with our profile and funnily enough I always wonder to myself if this approach ever works 😂. Had one a couple of days ago with a standard 🥱 "how are you guys", bit of a pet hate, but thought I'd reply and say that we were good. To which he replied with a cock pic and his phone number. Then when he'd checked if the message had been read, followed up with "?" 🙄 I felt I had to reply and mention that we never asked for his phone number, nor a pic of his cock. "

Another big annoyance of mine. When someone messages, then messages again and again and you can see the message but don’t read it. So they then just keep sending ? Or constant x ones. Just to go back up the message pile. I eventually messaged a guy back after 28 messages and said I wasn’t interested.

Only for him to start it all over again the following week 🙄🙄

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

Only for him to start it all over again the following week 🙄🙄"

They get blocked if they do that. Honestly dont know why guys don't accept the obvious rejection. I have no interest in chatting with someone who can't take no for an answer, let alone meet them.

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By *hyme2020Woman
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

Only for him to start it all over again the following week 🙄🙄

They get blocked if they do that. Honestly dont know why guys don't accept the obvious rejection. I have no interest in chatting with someone who can't take no for an answer, let alone meet them."

Absolutely this. Sometimes I’m online to just have a look or watch some videos. Not to talk to anyone or make small talk with a stranger. It’s like they see you online and just want to bombard you like you haven’t seen the dozen other messages

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By *ergie59Man
2 weeks ago

Aberdeenshire

Would be nice to get bombarded with messages.

Most men will not receive any due to imbalance.

Having only been polite, I've had obnoxious replies which makes you not want to message at all.

It’s a shame men and women choose to be like that, I’ve learnt, from the brief time on here, to have thick skin, ignore the arrogance.

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

"Would be nice to get bombarded with messages.

Most men will not receive any due to imbalance.

Having only been polite, I've had obnoxious replies which makes you not want to message at all.

It’s a shame men and women choose to be like that, I’ve learnt, from the brief time on here, to have thick skin, ignore the arrogance.

Most men think that, but when you get treated like an object it loses its appeal quickly.

Change your preference to men, and you might get an idea

Yeah, I think the rudeness comes both ways, and know its harder for men to even get replies. Even the well thought out messages can get lost cos the women aren't looking at that particular time, or are jugging several chats already, or you're simply not their type. Or a thousand other genuine reasons. Unfortunately men outnumbered women significantly on here.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
2 weeks ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

If the quality of messages are annoying you why not take matters into your own hands and block all males from messaging & do your own search for guys your interested in!?

Im sure it would cut down on these type of messages you receive.

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By *ergie59Man
2 weeks ago

Aberdeenshire

"Would be nice to get bombarded with messages.

Most men will not receive any due to imbalance.

Having only been polite, I've had obnoxious replies which makes you not want to message at all.

It’s a shame men and women choose to be like that, I’ve learnt, from the brief time on here, to have thick skin, ignore the arrogance.

Most men think that, but when you get treated like an object it loses its appeal quickly.

Change your preference to men, and you might get an idea

I understand that, but then there are men that are decent, but get lumped in with the egotistical

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

I understand that, but then there are men that are decent, but get lumped in with the egotistical "

I can't speak for all women, obviously, but I treat every new convo the same way. A blank canvas to see where it goes. I dont tarr all men with the same brush.

Might be hard to believe with this post but the volume of those messages today alone is staggering. I had to vent. Maybe those doing it will see this and learn

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By *ightOwls888Couple
2 weeks ago

Hamilton

Block button is your friend.

Our block list is well into 3 figures.

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By *apleguyMan
2 weeks ago

Livingston

When I had a couples profile with ex wife some of the messages we got was insane! I remember a message once that a guy sent asking if my wife would wrestle with his wife naked while he wanked. Not even joking!!! Didn’t realise wrestling was a kink haha

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

"Block button is your friend.

Our block list is well into 3 figures."

I've started doing that. And reporting those that really cross the line, but I've always done that.

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By *assy LassieWoman
2 weeks ago

Near Glasgow

Ive been replying to a guy for months. He messages hi. I reply ho. Am I insane or is he. Hi ho who knows🤣

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By *allerthanaverage79Man
2 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"Might be hard"? I think you've got to the root of the problem- a standing cock unfortunately has no conscience!

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By *ergie59Man
2 weeks ago

Aberdeenshire

""Might be hard"? I think you've got to the root of the problem- a standing cock unfortunately has no conscience!

No, I don’t really agree with that, it’s not the case for all men

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By *erfHerder74Man
2 weeks ago

Inverclyde

If the first message is rude or nasty it’s a sign they are toxic and stay well clear.

Had a few it’s never led to sex.

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By *lasgowMan2026Man
2 weeks ago

Bishopton

The reality is that a lot of guys treat this site like a slot machine. Throwing out low-effort, generic dross or graphic openers hoping for a random hit, completely oblivious to how counterproductive it is.

Personally, I don’t hold any drama or resentment around it, but it’s a curious observation. I always take the time to read a profile properly before opening my mouth. If the text hooks me and the energy matches, I send a direct, honest message alongside a completely current face photo so everything is transparent from the jump.

I actually get great conversations back regularly. But it's wild to look at the background noise highlighted in this chat and see how easily basic decency, maturity, and a proper standard get completely buried under the digital junk mail.

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

New low for today.

Guy asked if I liked his chocolate cock, thankfully only a description. He didn't mean skin colour.

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By *lasgowMan2026Man
2 weeks ago

Bishopton

"New low for today.

Guy asked if I liked his chocolate cock, thankfully only a description. He didn't mean skin colour."

As an opening line

I just dont get it. Yes we all want sex, but having some fun and flirtation to test the water is just as important.

I feel I need to appolojies for the lack of effort by many and also to Cadburys for improper use of their chocolate

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

"New low for today.

Guy asked if I liked his chocolate cock, thankfully only a description. He didn't mean skin colour.

As an opening line

I just dont get it. Yes we all want sex, but having some fun and flirtation to test the water is just as important.

I feel I need to appolojies for the lack of effort by many and also to Cadburys for improper use of their chocolate

Yeah as a first message. It was the only line in the message...

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By *lasgowMan2026Man
2 weeks ago

Bishopton

maximum effort from him clearly.

I guess its the difference between men an boys.

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By *ulie.your. bottom. slutTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Near Glasgow

"New low for today.

Guy asked if I liked his chocolate cock, thankfully only a description. He didn't mean skin colour.

As an opening line

I just dont get it. Yes we all want sex, but having some fun and flirtation to test the water is just as important.

I feel I need to appolojies for the lack of effort by many and also to Cadburys for improper use of their chocolate

You forgot to caveat, other brands are available

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By *oodguy831Man
2 weeks ago

bathagte

It’s off tbh but hen if you send a well reason normal message you very rarely get a reply, so I guess some feel the need to send a message that’s a bit more xtreme, personally I’m just chilled and relaxed and normal but that’s not got me anywhere but won’t change that

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By *rgoodnbadMan
2 weeks ago

greenock

"If the quality of messages are annoying you why not take matters into your own hands and block all males from messaging & do your own search for guys your interested in!?

Im sure it would cut down on these type of messages you receive. "

It really is as simple as that. But login onto the site, realising there's been no messages on the last few days may be a stretch too far for some. Egos have to be stroked somehow.

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By *L100Couple
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 17/06/26 12:08:30]

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By *L100Couple
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

I think the shit men give themselves away very quickly with their approach and what they go on to say if you do engage at all.

The number who simply can’t take no for an answer seems to be rising and our block list is growing.

Lying about height, weight, age without any sense of embarrassment and the passive aggressive status updates; ‘it’s a sex site, let’s not pretend’ like sex is a prerequisite from just being on the site as a member.

That’s our experience as a couple, would hate to see what it’s like to single females.

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By *uicy_peach79Woman
2 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Some.of the messages are so vile they make me feel sick.

I'm no where near a prude far from it but jeeez at least save that for some sexting

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By *lasgowMan2026Man
2 weeks ago

Bishopton

Lying about hight, weight etc... how does someone expect to actually carry that off if they meet in person?

I do wonder if a lot of the messages are key board warriors trying to shock with no substance behind it. If someone said "ok then, lets meet" I bet they would run for the hills.

Also, know your audience. Part of the fun is finding out what works in the moment or as things evolve if its repeated.

This is an adult meeting engine, so be an adult!

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By *lanenakedMan
2 weeks ago

near you .. but not too near

Absolutely never have I been rude or insulting to any women on here .. yet it seems those that are getting all the chat and replies .. why so easily triggered to me actually spend time engaging with rude ignorant people instead of perhaps striking up a conversation with a nice decent guy who you might actually like and meet ? .. or are people on here to be triggered, engage in insult throwing and complaining ?? .. seems a terrible waste of time to me .. 🤷🤷

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By *lasgowMan2026Man
2 weeks ago

Bishopton

"Absolutely never have I been rude or insulting to any women on here .. yet it seems those that are getting all the chat and replies .. why so easily triggered to me actually spend time engaging with rude ignorant people instead of perhaps striking up a conversation with a nice decent guy who you might actually like and meet ? .. or are people on here to be triggered, engage in insult throwing and complaining ?? .. seems a terrible waste of time to me .. 🤷🤷"

Are people actully engaging with that chat? I got the impression this is why peoples block lists were escalating.

For me the irritation is, if this is the main messages being sent, then serious players on the scean will have their messages lost in the noise.

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By *L100Couple
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

You’d be surprised at the audacity… they do try and carry it off.

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By *ddieZenMan
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

I would never be rude crude or offensive and certainly not in an opening message. I wouldn't do it in person so why do it in a message.

Dating that I've only sent a couple of messages as I'm still very be to this site.

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By *ergie59Man
2 weeks ago

Aberdeenshire

A toxic environment.

Seems that the bottom line is women suffer online abuse.

Men, good and bad are ignored due to women being swamped.

I just take the positives and ignore the cr@p.

Met a handful of really nice people, my glass is half full.

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By *om1268Man
2 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"When I had a couples profile with ex wife some of the messages we got was insane! I remember a message once that a guy sent asking if my wife would wrestle with his wife naked while he wanked. Not even joking!!! Didn’t realise wrestling was a kink haha "

Looks like it might be kink for some people.

I received messages from a guy wanting to wrestle with me naked and whoever losses being punished.

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

Some the messages I'm getting on here are disrespectful and disgusting if I don't reply to them I'm nothing but a tart slapper slut fat mink it's awful

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By *ingle_malt78Man
2 weeks ago

Near

Simple rule I use for messaging.

If I wouldn’t say or do it in person, I won’t do or say it behind a keyboard.

I’ll never send an appendage image either, even when asked.

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By *agnar2323Man
2 weeks ago

Valhalla

"The nasty first messages. Do guys really think that some of the stuff they put in a first message actually works, and will get them a reply?

Seriously has a message like that ever worked. Why do it then?"

From the descriptive messages my wife gets ive noticed the majority make her dryer than the Sahara. Most seem to be from children outside her age preference that think they can f##k her better than her cuck husband!!!! No where on her profile does it say im cuck. Basically just arseholes trying it on just block them and go

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By *ackagain202569Man
2 weeks ago

Aberdeenshire

I find the first message very difficult. I would never put anyone disrespectful in a message and try to make my first one introductory and polite. Doesn't seem to work though so not sure what the magic formula is

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By *ympho6969 OP Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

"Simple rule I use for messaging.

If I wouldn’t say or do it in person, I won’t do or say it behind a keyboard.

I’ll never send an appendage image either, even when asked. "

This is a very good approach. And one more people should use

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By *artanb1Man
1 week ago

Nairn

I dont bother messaging..

All my messages are ignored and why waste time writing a message when they dont receive a response. Some will say its whats in the message and thats possible, others probably get so many messages it just gets lost in the volume people have to work through and possibly doesnt stand out amd others just possibly dont like my profile. Whatever it is, this site appears to be quite a clique, and I'm have consoled myself into enjoying others profiles / pictures in the knowledge that a meet is very unlikely for me...it is, what it is...

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By *ergie59Man
1 week ago

Aberdeenshire

"I dont bother messaging..

Seems about right but there are few charmers.

There’s been many posts on the forum that put men down collectively due to the percentage of eejjitts, but I know for a fact there are some decent ordinary guys on here.

Thinks it’s a supply and demand issue.

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