FabSwingers.com forum: Abusing the forums

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do some people feel the need to abuse the forums?

I know that this is a forum and generally, if someone doesn't break the rules, we can all say anything we want.

But why is it that if something doesn't affect you or concern you, why do you think some people often sit back and just offer nothing but deconstructive criticism?

If something doesn't interest you, and if you cannot think of something nice to say, why say anything at all? Why not just ignore and move on, or not do anything till you see a post you would like to comment on?

Why do some people feel the need to make digs and cannot let previous disagreements go? And when they do have digs, it seems to me, that they embarrass themselves by the way they behave.

I do love a good debate, to think and to try and get my mind working, but if you disagree with someone, why can some people not be polite about it? Or try to provoke someone into saying something, only to then report that person, and no doubt to spread the word and get all their friends to report as well.

If I disagree with someone, I would usually only say something else, once, try to explain my point of view differently, and then keep a dignified silence after that. There is no reasoning with some people. Why do some people feel the need to often repeat themselves, to criticize? (we all know how easy it is to projected insults from behind at screen at home).

I talk to some people through private messages. People who do not know about the forums or don't seem interested, but I'd never recommend or encourage people to use the forums because of the cliques, the desire to settle old scores and general perniciousness of some people.

The Schadenfreude is rife.

I know some people say 'My family means everything to me and I don't give a shite about anyone on this site or give a fuck what anything thinks because these people will never feature in my life'. I would say, yes, I'm pleased you have a family etc, but just because you have given birth doesn't necessarily mean you can come on here and do and say whatever you like or treat people with such disregard.

Seriously, I am interest in any suggestions, why people seem to abuse the forums, and it's often the people who do not meet through fab, but only meet at clubs that seem the most prolific in doing this.

(As i am interested, I would ask anyone who wishes to respond, to answer my question, rather than using it as a way to have a go at me personally)

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

report them if they are

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Seems like a troll post if i ever seen one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"report them if they are"

ok, that is an option, but I was kind of more interested in why some people do it in the first place. The reporting comes after the event.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"report them if they are

ok, that is an option, but I was kind of more interested in why some people do it in the first place. The reporting comes after the event. "

Do you really believe people are, first of all, going to admit they abuse the forums and secondly then give you their reasons why they do it?

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I swear people are hiding things from me in here.....

I have still to see all these abusive posts you go on about....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"report them if they are

ok, that is an option, but I was kind of more interested in why some people do it in the first place. The reporting comes after the event.

Do you really believe people are, first of all, going to admit they abuse the forums and secondly then give you their reasons why they do it?

Not everyone does abuse it, and some people who do abuse it might not be around today. Perhaps those who do not abuse it, might wish to comment on it, even to deny ever having seen anything or wish do support or not support what I have said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wot a load of waffle!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I swear people are hiding things from me in here.....

I have still to see all these abusive posts you go on about....

That's good. I'm pleased for you, that you do not see it and are not targeted. I'm pleased too that from your comment, the forums seem a bed of roses where everyone is nice to each other.

I didn't necessarily concentrate on 'abusive posts'. There are other things in my posting, like 'if you can't say something nice, then do not say anything at all'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has their own opinion on things and it might not always be what u wanna hear that doesn't mean its neccessarily abusive

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Threads are open to discussion/debate....

IF you dont like it.....dont comment

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

"There are other things in my posting, like 'if you can't say something nice, then do not say anything at all'. "

A contradiction in terms going by your OP

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"There are other things in my posting, like 'if you can't say something nice, then do not say anything at all'.

A contradiction in terms going by your OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have a cunning plan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I swear people are hiding things from me in here.....

I have still to see all these abusive posts you go on about....

That's good. I'm pleased for you, that you do not see it and are not targeted. I'm pleased too that from your comment, the forums seem a bed of roses where everyone is nice to each other.

I didn't necessarily concentrate on 'abusive posts'. There are other things in my posting, like 'if you can't say something nice, then do not say anything at all'. "
You cant tie peoples hands in terms of comment and debate or indeed dissagreement. Do you consider dissagreeing with you "not nice" for example?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Everyone has their own opinion on things and it might not always be what u wanna hear that doesn't mean its neccessarily abusive "

Yes, but this is something I already knew, and agree with. I am very well versed in this line of thought and agree with you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Threads are open to discussion/debate....

IF you dont like it.....dont comment

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

refrains from comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should seriously try being a woman on here and see how many abusive private messages you get then complain

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

"i have a cunning plan"

c'mon kilted the suspense is killing me lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You should seriously try being a woman on here and see how many abusive private messages you get then complain "

Understand. I've female friends who have told me all sorts of things, and got the police involved to deal with some men on fab. (And some female friends who have been attacked in the street by wives who have caught their husbands playing. Men who have said they are single).

Thank you for adding to this. I can see your point of view, but private messages is a different topic, and might require a different forum posting. My main idea was on the forums, and not really private messages. Thank you.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Stop pretending you got friends

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Stop pretending you got friends

hehe, yeah maybe I should.

At least, while I might not have many friends in the forums, I do have some good friends in the real world, and some good friends I've met through fab, who don't use the forums. So not all bad,

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

At least, while I might not have many friends in the forums, I do have some good friends in the real world, and some good friends I've met through fab, who don't use the forums. So not all bad,

Most of the people I have met through fab dont use the forums...

The few that do, dont post much at all and probably dont even know this is me lol

Have met a regular, but she doesnt feckin remember it lol

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

Very well said comrade! I was just having something of a conversation about the self same thing with a fellow fabling...it's ny opinion that we should take charge & attempt to raise the bar somewhat to stamp out these negative minded misery guts as it's this sort of thing that frightens decent folk from posting on here for fear of unwarranted abuse & unnecessary negative criticism...when I first started posting I had people trying to feel me out & push my buttons so that they could keep me out but I love a challenge so it backfired on them & made me stick around & more adamant to post alot or nonsense & mischief just to see if they wanted a war of the words & wits with me as I come rather well equipped to some measure to tackle any contender! Keep up the good work & dont let them get you down or put you off...you have my full support.....hey haters don't hate congratulate!

"Why do some people feel the need to abuse the forums?

I know that this is a forum and generally, if someone doesn't break the rules, we can all say anything we want.

But why is it that if something doesn't affect you or concern you, why do you think some people often sit back and just offer nothing but deconstructive criticism?

Why do some people feel the need to make digs and cannot let previous disagreements go? And when they do have digs, it seems to me, that they embarrass themselves by the way they behave.

The Schadenfreude is rife.

(As i am interested, I would ask anyone who wishes to respond, to answer my question, rather than using it as a way to have a go at me personally)

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit, I like looking At the forums and posting now and again. This "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" attitude in my view is rubbish. I think some of the best reads in the forums are when folk have got their dander up and I mean that without them being abusive to each other. There's sometimes a fine line between disagreeing with someone and them taking it personally.

You say, "If something doesn't interest you, and if you cannot think of something nice to say, why say anything at all? Why not just ignore and move on, or not do anything till you see a post you would like to comment on?"

Obviously that person has seen a post they'd like to comment on, if they've made a post surely?

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Were are all these abusive haters???

Im beginning to think some users are just a tad sensitive....

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Were are all these abusive haters???

Im beginning to think some users are just a tad sensitive...."

I just got abused! Kilted called me OLD

Lol

I think some folks have to get a grip!

Usually I find the people who complain about being abused are the ones who have very strong views on everything and anything! And like to put them out there and don't like it when people disagree

L xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

At least, while I might not have many friends in the forums, I do have some good friends in the real world, and some good friends I've met through fab, who don't use the forums. So not all bad,

Most of the people I have met through fab dont use the forums...

The few that do, dont post much at all and probably dont even know this is me lol

Have met a regular, but she doesnt feckin remember it lol"

I think the forum can be a good feature. I use other sites that do not have this feature. I'm sure that everyone would agree that the forums are the most underused part of fab. Wouldn't it be more interesting, if more people were to use it.

(I think at times that if I say something, I could write a script for what everyone will say and how they will behave)

One way that new people might use it if they were to see people behaving not being provoked and all of us being civil to one other - no matter how much we meet dislike each other or how we come across in the written word.

Sometimes if something is said in person can mean one thing, but if the same thing is written down and read it can take on a whole new meaning.

I get some messages privately from people who lurk in the forums but make it clear they would prefer to write privately as they do not wish to be caught up in it.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Were are all these abusive haters???

Im beginning to think some users are just a tad sensitive...."

Exactly

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Watching this with intrest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/06/13 11:21:40]

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I get some messages privately from people who lurk in the forums but make it clear they would prefer to write privately as they do not wish to be caught up in it.

I used to get that....

But it was because they didnt want to be seen agreeing with me....

Got no time for people like that...

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

And I agree with mrs HC and sameroom too.... I do think that some folk just don't like the fact that others don't agree with them....it's a forum it's all about opinions, and not everyone will agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And I agree with mrs HC and sameroom too.... I do think that some folk just don't like the fact that others don't agree with them....it's a forum it's all about opinions, and not everyone will agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very well said comrade! I was just having something of a conversation about the self same thing with a fellow fabling...it's ny opinion that we should take charge & attempt to raise the bar somewhat to stamp out these negative minded misery guts as it's this sort of thing that frightens decent folk from posting on here for fear of unwarranted abuse & unnecessary negative criticism...when I first started posting I had people trying to feel me out & push my buttons so that they could keep me out but I love a challenge so it backfired on them & made me stick around & more adamant to post alot or nonsense & mischief just to see if they wanted a war of the words & wits with me as I come rather well equipped to some measure to tackle any contender! Keep up the good work & dont let them get you down or put you off...you have my full support.....hey haters don't hate congratulate!

Thank you. At last someone who has an idea of where I am coming from, and isn't afraid to say so., and who doesn't give a one liner negative comment.

Ps, I am reserving the right to only reply to posts that make sense. I'm not spending a lot of time reading things many times over trying to work out what the person means when it's unlikely that the person will grasp what I'm saying anyway.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Thank you. At last someone who has an idea of where I am coming from, and isn't afraid to say so., and who doesn't give a one liner negative comment.

Or only to ones that agree with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a new person I find the forum great I have made daf remarks without thinking we all do. If I hurt anyone, I am first in line to say to person I was wrong. I don't really see what your talking about here. But we all need to think a little before post. And think of the other person

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Or only to ones that agree with you? "

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"As a new person I find the forum great I have made daf remarks without thinking we all do. If I hurt anyone, I am first in line to say to person I was wrong. I don't really see what your talking about here. But we all need to think a little before post. And think of the other person "

But your not new

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And I agree with mrs HC and sameroom too.... I do think that some folk just don't like the fact that others don't agree with them....it's a forum it's all about opinions, and not everyone will agree

You are preaching to the converted here. I know that it is the forums, and not everyone will agree. My point was/is about the way that people disagree: how they behave (which relates to my post)

I do not read every posting. Some authors, I ignore because I've an idea of what the posting is like. I'm all up for debate and for people disagreeing with me. If I wanted people to agree with me, then I could post a less challenging posting.

If I really was this sensitive too, I would pick an easier subject or a nonsense type of posting. I'm all for people disagreeing or agreeing.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"As a new person "

Oh please!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Watching this with intrest "

Please watch with interest, if you want. Or feel free to join in if you want too. I'm sure someone with your experience might have something to say on this topic. I've never seen you being rude or abusive, and I don't think there's anything you can say that would offend me.

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By *rallvalCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Why do some people feel the need to abuse the forums?

I know that this is a forum and generally, if someone doesn't break the rules, we can all say anything we want.

But why is it that if something doesn't affect you or concern you, why do you think some people often sit back and just offer nothing but deconstructive criticism?

Why do some people feel the need to make digs and cannot let previous disagreements go? And when they do have digs, it seems to me, that they embarrass themselves by the way they behave.

Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet.

I have been online for 30 years and seen it all. The thing to remember is that the internet is filled with wonderful people, the sad thing is that the minority idiots like the sound of their own voices and drown out the rest. I have seen countless newsgroups, bbs and fora die because the real people left because of the nutters.

There are only 3 solutions:

Everybody ignores then and they go away.

Real people leave and the group dies

We find out where they live and play swingball with their testicles.

Personally I just ignore them now.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Im not sure you intended that to be a patronising at it sounds.

And given that the OP refers to some people feeling the need to make digs and cannot let previous disagreements go I have to say that thats exactly how I am interpreting this thread, so Im going to close it sorry.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"And I agree with mrs HC and sameroom too.... I do think that some folk just don't like the fact that others don't agree with them....it's a forum it's all about opinions, and not everyone will agree

You are preaching to the converted here. I know that it is the forums, and not everyone will agree. My point was/is about the way that people disagree: how they behave (which relates to my post)

If I really was this sensitive too, I would pick an easier subject or a nonsense type of posting. I'm all for people disagreeing or agreeing. "

If I'm truly honest I feel that most of your posts come across as pretty condescending which probably rattles some folks cages... But as I said its all about folks opinions and your entitled to post what you want the same way others can reply to whatever they want

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