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Mandy | |||
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"I’m trying to find happiness again it’s 17 months ago after a massive trauma, is it possible are will the pain always stay." Ill start by saying that this is not the samaritains so you might not get the shoulder to cry on that you want, The pain is always there it just gets numb over time, most folk grow a set of balls and get on with life if you let one thing get you down then the next will be worst. get a hobby buy a dog watch goldfish anything to get your mind in a different place as jumping of a tall building is only fun till you hit the ground | |||
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"There's no definitive answer to this. Generally things get easier with time, but there is no timeframe with this and individuals react very differently to similar events. There's also unhelpful models such as the 7 grief stages, which more or less imply you go through steps on a linear basis and then you are healed. Whilst the themes are broadly recognisable, every person's journey is different and may involve circling back and revisiting things you thought you may have left behind Best approach is to do what feels right for you, when you feel it's right, and whatever that might be. Talk to friends, professionals etc, indulge in things that make you feel better and most importantly look after yourself and go on your own journey at your own pace " I wasn't aware of the 7 Stages version. When I was grieving, I read the 5 Stages list each day, so I knew what I was thinking/feeling, until I got to the stage that I wasn't feeling any of them each day. The one I did learn about within the last year, are the Secondary and Tertiary stages of grief. As a lot of these things overlap, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the 7 Stages things appear in the Secondary one. | |||
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"I’m trying to find happiness again it’s 17 months ago after a massive trauma, is it possible are will the pain always stay. Ill start by saying that this is not the samaritains so you might not get the shoulder to cry on that you want, The pain is always there it just gets numb over time, most folk grow a set of balls and get on with life if you let one thing get you down then the next will be worst. get a hobby buy a dog watch goldfish anything to get your mind in a different place as jumping of a tall building is only fun till you hit the ground " Pretty uncompassionate response No such thing as *growing a pair of balls* This is exactly the attitude and stigma that explains why males are 3 times more likely to die by suicide than women. May I make a suggestion that if you have nothing useful to say - you say nothing at all | |||
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"I’m trying to find happiness again it’s 17 months ago after a massive trauma, is it possible are will the pain always stay. Ill start by saying that this is not the samaritains so you might not get the shoulder to cry on that you want, The pain is always there it just gets numb over time, most folk grow a set of balls and get on with life if you let one thing get you down then the next will be worst. get a hobby buy a dog watch goldfish anything to get your mind in a different place as jumping of a tall building is only fun till you hit the ground " Wow. Just wow. Never read anything like that in my life. Have a word with yourself mate. | |||
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"Does "real life tetris" come with the music? " Naw, it's normally Capital Dance! | |||
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"Pretty uncompassionate response No such thing as *growing a pair of balls* This is exactly the attitude and stigma that explains why males are 3 times more likely to die by suicide than women. May I make a suggestion that if you have nothing useful to say - you say nothing at all " since you are not a male you would not get that the response was compassionate, if you were to read the full response and not cherry pick words. oh and just for your info the reason more males die from suicide is that they do it better ie blow their brains out or jump of a building or hang themselves where as females will more than not take pills that is less successful very few jump of a roof. | |||
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"Pretty uncompassionate response No such thing as *growing a pair of balls* This is exactly the attitude and stigma that explains why males are 3 times more likely to die by suicide than women. May I make a suggestion that if you have nothing useful to say - you say nothing at all since you are not a male you would not get that the response was compassionate, if you were to read the full response and not cherry pick words. oh and just for your info the reason more males die from suicide is that they do it better ie blow their brains out or jump of a building or hang themselves where as females will more than not take pills that is less successful very few jump of a roof." That is one mitigating factor. The biggest factor is that men don't feel able to speak out - because of responses like yours. Males are more likely to use fatal means yes - but attempts are still far higher in males. As for balls...pretty sure I have more of them than you will ever have. Trot on | |||
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"Behave the lot of you. Ffs. A guy reaches out & now look at you all. Ignore OP. Some people let their own personal opinions override the support they originally meant to give "Well said | |||
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"Behave the lot of you. Ffs. A guy reaches out & now look at you all. Ignore OP. Some people let their own personal opinions override the support they originally meant to give "I am behaving. Im calling out shite *advice* and offering alternative supports | |||
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"yeah most guys don't talk about suicide because the person that drives them too it often is a female. as for alternative support ill call bullshit to that one as i dont think you have any clue what the OP is or has gone through. as for a set of balls dream on. " Keep digging mate.... | |||
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"I’m trying to find happiness again it’s 17 months ago after a massive trauma, is it possible are will the pain always stay." I am so sorry to hear that  I've just finished my 2nd lot of trauma informed therapy, it takes time and work but with the right support around you, it will get easier to manage as therapy teaches you skills to help when trauma is bad. Hugs xx | |||
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"Yes positive thinking " Does not heal trauma alone sadly... Trauma is wound to the nervous system and takes a lot more than thinking it away, though i wish it was as easy as that. I am diagnosed complex ptsd and been in and out of therapy for years and am on meds and thats ok. | |||
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"I’m trying to find happiness again it’s 17 months ago after a massive trauma, is it possible are will the pain always stay." This made me sad, we have all been there and it always feels so endless. Time does pass and wounds heal. This is a hard time of year when you feel like this, do your best to not be alone and without any weird agenda at all, if you really need to speak to someone on any bad days my box is open. Don’t ever let yourself spiral. Chin up man, youl find yourself again so much faster than you think  | |||
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"I’m trying to find happiness again it’s 17 months ago after a massive trauma, is it possible are will the pain always stay. Ill start by saying that this is not the samaritains so you might not get the shoulder to cry on that you want, The pain is always there it just gets numb over time, most folk grow a set of balls and get on with life if you let one thing get you down then the next will be worst. get a hobby buy a dog watch goldfish anything to get your mind in a different place as jumping of a tall building is only fun till you hit the ground " Totally shocked by this response. Please op do not take this message as the norm. I cannot believe someone would actually respond like this. There is help out there. I'm no expert, but what I do know is never keep it inside, talk. Meanwhile, that other chap is blocked. | |||
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