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Things my mother taught me

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP   Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME:

1. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"Your room looks like a tornado hit it."

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.

"You better pray that comes out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

4. My mother taught me about OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

5. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, I can take you out."

6. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in the world who don't have wonderful parents like you."

7. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when we get home."

8. My mother taught me about GENEOLOGY.

"Shut that door... You think you were raised in a barn?"

9. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids... I hope they turn out just like you!"

10. My mother taught me about LOGIC.

"Because I said so, That's why."

11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until your spinach is gone."

12. My mother taught me about IRONY.

"Keep crying. I'll give you something to cry about."

Feel free to add your own lol

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY-

If I've told you once I've told you a million times-Don't Exaggerate!!!

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM-

Will you look at the dirt on the back on your neck!

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

She also taught me never to take any crap from anyone....

Was a little shocked at her knowledge of scat

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"

10. My mother taught me about LOGIC.

"Because I said so, That's why."

"

This one is a classic!

Passed down over generations

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP   Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"She also taught me never to take any crap from anyone....

Was a little shocked at her knowledge of scat

"
Lmao

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

ALl CLASS. CHEERS GIRLIES xx

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By *rStarbuckMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I love this!

If i misbehaved my mum would say 'what did I tell you?!' Lol I would reply 'many things....' and watch her go nuclear

L x

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By *iverview1Couple
over a year ago

gourock

How to make a proper cornish pasty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay away from dirty women Should have listen LOL Well maybe not

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

Not sure what this was meant to teach me:

"If you'd got killed crossing that road, I'd have murdered you" . Reincarnation, perhaps?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oddly my Mother taught me about COCK.

What you can't get in yer mouth is a waste.

(Cheers Mum, miss ya loads!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat people the way you want to be treated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never bring yerself down to there level

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes


"She also taught me never to take any crap from anyone....

Was a little shocked at her knowledge of scat

"

Oh god my coffee went all over the place there!!!! lmao

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

My dad used to say "Don't stare at the floor when I'm talking to you" very quickly followed by "don't use that dumb look with me, young lady!" That and all of the above - no wonder I'm a confused Goddess lol.

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By *lassic1Man
over a year ago

bellshill

Plastic surgery......you'll be smiling on the other side of your face boy.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ANATOMY

I'll give you a sore arse if I see anymore of your cheek.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

This thread has made me laugh.... And all so true

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

They are all great and I use most of them lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My all time favourite - where did you lose it? Ehm if I knew where it was it wouldn't be f*cking lost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If U fall off that wall n break ur leg don't come running to me :-S:-S:-S:-S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mum told me its rude to spit

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