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cheery ye up

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards." said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!"

The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!"

Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall. "Oh my God!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"

hehe xx bigg g

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something.

"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"

"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death."

"Oh, really? How's that?"

"There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."

"I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."

"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."

haha bigg g

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London. He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs. She takes off her pants and her panties.

He looks between her legs, and he says, "What's that?"

She says, "It's me lower mouth."

He says, "What do you mean, 'your lower mouth?'"

She says, "Just what I said, it's me lower mouth. It's got a moustache... It's got lips..."

He asks, "Has it got a tongue in it?"

She says, "Not yet. . ."

bigg g

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left... The phone rings at Billy Bob's house:

"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, Buddy"

bigg g

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

An old Indian was asked the name of his wife.

He replied, "Wife Name - Three Horse."

"That's an unusual name for your wife, Three Horse. What does it mean?"

"It's an old Indian name. Means Nag, Nag, Nag."

bigg g

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

pmsl some crackers there

want me to cock yer ride?????

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

lol you can cock ma ride netime pmsl xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pinocchio talks to Gepetto:

- Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls.

- You know, my son, I didn’t care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it.

After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio:

- Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls?

- Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

great jokes

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By *cots88Man
over a year ago

glasgow

A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious". Roland the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious.""Well done, Roland," says the teacher."

Can anyone else try?" Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says,"My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."

"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"

Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy


"lol you can cock ma ride netime pmsl xxxxx

"

whoop whoop whoop :p

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

The sky was dark the moon was high

All alone just her and I

Her hair so soft her eyes so blue

I knew just what she wanted to do

Her skin so soft her legs so fine

I ran my fingers down her spine

I didn't know how but I tried my best

To place my hand upon her breast

I remember my fear my fast heart beating

But slowly she spread her legs apart

And when she did I felt no shame

As all at once the white stuff came

At last it was finished

It was all over now

My first time ever ..............................

MILKING A COW !!!!!!!!

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