FabSwingers.com forum: Bromance Buddies

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Applications are now being accepted for the above named position.

Applicants must be smart & intellectually acute to recognise witty banter. Preferably they will be between 25 - 40 yo, reasonably fit, be comfortable in matters of a sexual nature & open to having the urine extracted or the piss taken out of them. They should NOT participate in other watersports other than swimming, sailing, wet biking or other such hobbies.

The successful appliicant(s) should also be in possession of at least 2 or 3 of the following criteria:

Dark hair (preferably a full head of), dark eyes, hairy chest, a bubble butt, killer smile, a liking but not an obsession for McDs McMuffin brekkies, a good fashionable dress sense particularly in the underwear department & a flexible approach being flirted with, occasionally groped (particularly at inappropriate moments), or be pimped out in the presence of a sexy woman. This may entail some additional groping by the boss.

Remuneration & benefits are negotiable but of an exclusive nature.

Membership of the Bromance Buddy League is automatic, but may not include automatic promotion to "other" exclusive clubs owned & maintained by the parent company.

Please apply in writing along with an accompanying photograph, noting your qualifications.

There is no closing date for applications.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Application Form

Name: Furry

Age: 391/4

Occupation: Not sure(as little as possible)

Marital status: Single (ain't doing that again)

Eye colour: Brown

Hair colour: Greyish (takes me hours to colour grey)

Height: Tall enough (when lying down)

Weight: N/A (feck off ya nosey bastards)

Qualifications: Driving license, HGV license, some GCSEs, an A level, a degree in the removal of urine from the randyt university

Hobbies: Flirting, Groping, Kissing, Sex (ALL WITH WOMEN ONLY - although willing to let bromance buddy have a man hug and maybe a grope of my clothed ass if the price is right)

So, do I get an interview?? Or do I get the job??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Application Form

Name: Furry

Age: 391/4

Occupation: Not sure(as little as possible)

Marital status: Single (ain't doing that again)

Eye colour: Brown

Hair colour: Greyish (takes me hours to colour grey)

Height: Tall enough (when lying down)

Weight: N/A (feck off ya nosey bastards)

Qualifications: Driving license, HGV license, some GCSEs, an A level, a degree in the removal of urine from the randyt university

Hobbies: Flirting, Groping, Kissing, Sex (ALL WITH WOMEN ONLY - although willing to let bromance buddy have a man hug and maybe a grope of my clothed ass if the price is right)

So, do I get an interview?? Or do I get the job??

Dear Mr Furry,

Thankyou for your application which will be taken into consideration. You will contacted directly & advised if you have been selected for interview.

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By *r D and Mrs LCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh

Forwarding your specifications to Dr Frankenstein to make one to specs for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Forwarding your specifications to Dr Frankenstein to make one to specs for you

Frankenfurter may be better as in just seven days... He can make you a Maaa-ha-ha-ha-han.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i have an application form please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oi 25 to 40 its abit ageist is it not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think al run ma own thread hmmmmffff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

Give you a running? Is that even a phrase? Swear someone's spiked my OJ this morning, I've no been right in the heid aw day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

We would like to advise that in the near future we hope to be able to offer membership to the Sexy Sisterhood Society, however this is currently under negotions with Management. Please keep your eyes open in the usual publication & media.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

Give you a running? Is that even a phrase? Swear someone's spiked my OJ this morning, I've no been right in the heid aw day "

You'd have to stand next to me topless to prove it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

Give you a running? Is that even a phrase? Swear someone's spiked my OJ this morning, I've no been right in the heid aw day

You'd have to stand next to me topless to prove it

You sure about that? I'm a good few inches taller then you my big saggy tits might knock you oot

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

Get in line you

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

Give you a running? Is that even a phrase? Swear someone's spiked my OJ this morning, I've no been right in the heid aw day

You'd have to stand next to me topless to prove it

You sure about that? I'm a good few inches taller then you my big saggy tits might knock you oot

It's a risk I'm willing to take

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"This is so sexist Randy, I'd be the best bromance bud you ever had. I've got bigger baws then most and give you all a running in the hairy chest department

Give you a running? Is that even a phrase? Swear someone's spiked my OJ this morning, I've no been right in the heid aw day

You'd have to stand next to me topless to prove it

You sure about that? I'm a good few inches taller then you my big saggy tits might knock you oot

It's a risk I'm willing to take

Besides, I can get a box, and I have big hands to keep them warm whilst looking for hair lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ach what the hell... Sign me up....

Though keep the inappropriate touching to a minimum and the pimping out to the ladies to the max lol :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sign me up too

I'm always looking for new challenges

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By *ruescotsman84Man
over a year ago

Isle Of Bute

Very interested in the position(s) available

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ach what the hell... Sign me up....

Though keep the inappropriate touching to a minimum and the pimping out to the ladies to the max lol :D"

Your application is under consideration & your references have confirmed that you are a suitable candidate. Please contact the Head of our Communication & Technology Dept where further information will be provided.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sign me up too

I'm always looking for new challenges

You will be contacted directly to arrange a personal interview. Please bring with you anything which favour your application including bribes for the selection panel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sign me up too

I'm always looking for new challenges

You will be contacted directly to arrange a personal interview. Please bring with you anything which favour your application including bribes for the selection panel."

I think at the interview I will just wear my tightest jeans and bend over plenty if times tht Shud do the trick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sign me up too

I'm always looking for new challenges

You will be contacted directly to arrange a personal interview. Please bring with you anything which favour your application including bribes for the selection panel.

I think at the interview I will just wear my tightest jeans and bend over plenty if times tht Shud do the trick

We regret that we cannot discuss or comment on these matters as this may give others an unfair advantage. However we would like to say... WAY TO GO!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very interested in the position(s) available

There are a number of positions available. Please mail us to advise which positions you are interested in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very interested in the position(s) available

There are a number of positions available. Please mail us to advise which positions you are interested in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/05/13 22:55:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

There is a certain amount of hands on tests & a degree of multiple choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

There is a certain amount of hands on tests & a degree of multiple choice. "

Nane the time n place and I will be there ready n willing to pass

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

There is a certain amount of hands on tests & a degree of multiple choice.

Nane the time n place and I will be there ready n willing to pass

Your interview date is in the mail. Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

There is a certain amount of hands on tests & a degree of multiple choice.

Nane the time n place and I will be there ready n willing to pass

Your interview date is in the mail. Lol!"

Can't wait I knw I've got what it takes to pass the interview lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

There is a certain amount of hands on tests & a degree of multiple choice.

Nane the time n place and I will be there ready n willing to pass

Your interview date is in the mail. Lol!

Can't wait I knw I've got what it takes to pass the interview lol"

From those jeans we have to agree - lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

There is a certain amount of hands on tests & a degree of multiple choice.

Nane the time n place and I will be there ready n willing to pass

Your interview date is in the mail. Lol!

Can't wait I knw I've got what it takes to pass the interview lol

From those jeans we have to agree - lol. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

There is a certain amount of hands on tests & a degree of multiple choice.

Nane the time n place and I will be there ready n willing to pass

Your interview date is in the mail. Lol!

Can't wait I knw I've got what it takes to pass the interview lol

From those jeans we have to agree - lol.

Recent information regarding your application has been brought to our attention & you may be eligible for our Graduate Programme.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the interview a "hands" on interview pmsl

There is a certain amount of hands on tests & a degree of multiple choice.

Nane the time n place and I will be there ready n willing to pass

Your interview date is in the mail. Lol!

Can't wait I knw I've got what it takes to pass the interview lol

From those jeans we have to agree - lol.

Recent information regarding your application has been brought to our attention & you may be eligible for our Graduate Programme. "

Ooh Grad Programme what does that consist off?

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

Im inspired to start a thread "ho-mance buddies" for all the pimps,players & hoes ...im not sure my ebonics might go down too well as it's liable to be misinterpreted lol

pimp pimp horay! Pimps up,hoes down

dont down him...crown him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Application Form

Name: Fig

Age: 29

Occupation:security/mechanic (so im good with my hands)

Marital status: Single

Eye colour: blue

Hair colour:Black (until i stop dying it then grey)

Height: 6ft

Weight: 18st

Qualifications: Driving license, HGV license, sia badged , f7lly qaulified mechanic

Hobbies: Flirting, Groping, Kissing, Sex (ALL WITH WOMEM), manhugs , play rugby and give massages

Please inform me on how i get on thanks.

yours

Sincerley

Fig

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Application Form

Name: Fig

Age: 29

Occupation:security/mechanic (so im good with my hands)

Marital status: Single

Eye colour: blue

Hair colour:Black (until i stop dying it then grey)

Height: 6ft

Weight: 18st

Qualifications: Driving license, HGV license, sia badged , f7lly qaulified mechanic

Hobbies: Flirting, Groping, Kissing, Sex (ALL WITH WOMEM), manhugs , play rugby and give massages

Please inform me on how i get on thanks.

yours

Sincerley

Fig

hope my cv is ok

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Application Form

Name: Fig

Age: 29

Occupation:security/mechanic (so im good with my hands)

Marital status: Single

Eye colour: blue

Hair colour:Black (until i stop dying it then grey)

Height: 6ft

Weight: 18st

Qualifications: Driving license, HGV license, sia badged , f7lly qaulified mechanic

Hobbies: Flirting, Groping, Kissing, Sex (ALL WITH WOMEM), manhugs , play rugby and give massages

Please inform me on how i get on thanks.

yours

Sincerley

Fig

hope my cv is ok

Thankyou for BOTH your applications. As we were unsure we will be sending TWO invitations for interview. Would both of you please bring with you anything required for these massages you referred to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol i know sorry us this you trying to get a double massage fly man lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol i know sorry us this you trying to get a double massage fly man lol "

How very astute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol i know sorry us this you trying to get a double massage fly man lol

How very astute.

lol so when are the interviews bein held

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Lol i know sorry us this you trying to get a double massage fly man lol

How very astute.

lol so when are the interviews bein held"

A month away???? Blimey! That's some short list!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol i know sorry us this you trying to get a double massage fly man lol

How very astute.

lol so when are the interviews bein held

A month away???? Blimey! That's some short list!!

has that many people applied lol

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By *heesy2232Man
over a year ago

In a castle in the sky

Caught u red handed lol u lining up my replacement already awwwwwww cheers for letting me know that we where finished I had no idea u felt this way iam shocked !!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Caught u red handed lol u lining up my replacement already awwwwwww cheers for letting me know that we where finished I had no idea u felt this way iam shocked !!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry, I tried to tell you. I was going to break it to ya on Saturday but you were AWOL. It's not you, it's me. Don't be hurt. Someone will be very lucky to have you. I'll even write you a reference. You'll be happier, honest. We'll always have our special Cheesy Dances to think back on. You're very special, but it's just not working out. Trust me, you'll get over me & will find happiness with someone. Be happy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

NEXT!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"NEXT!"

Lol

Easy come easy go eh haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"NEXT!

Lol

Easy come easy go eh haha

(Nah, he's my boy but sometimes he needs a kick in the arse. Lol!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"NEXT!

Lol

Easy come easy go eh haha

(Nah, he's my boy but sometimes he needs a kick in the arse. Lol!)"

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By *heesy2232Man
over a year ago

In a castle in the sky

Awwwww iam gutted !!!!!!! Don't think ill ever get over you !!!!!! Ur the special one , Thot we would be together forever , guess I Thot wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Awwwww iam gutted !!!!!!! Don't think ill ever get over you !!!!!! Ur the special one , Thot we would be together forever , guess I Thot wrong

Damn, I hate it when you put on that look & stare at me with those puppy dog eyes. Ok I guess we can try again. For old times sake.

(Damn my big-heartedness.)

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By *heesy2232Man
over a year ago

In a castle in the sky

Only if ur sure!!!!! Not wanna be the one that's holding u back of finding ur true bromance lol

so if u wanna still look I give u my total permission to do so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Only if ur sure!!!!! Not wanna be the one that's holding u back of finding ur true bromance lol

so if u wanna still look I give u my total permission to do so

Duly noted. You heard that people - form an orderly queue!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww randy there's poor cheesy cryin into his fish fingers n spaghetti hoops ... He's so trying to put on a brave face but I can see he's a shell of a man ... Inconsolable snottery wreck xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Awww randy there's poor cheesy cryin into his fish fingers n spaghetti hoops ... He's so trying to put on a brave face but I can see he's a shell of a man ... Inconsolable snottery wreck xxxx "

Oh lord I hate when the Broken Bromances send in the reinforcements with the guilt trips. He's not REALLY dumped - it's just keeping him on his tippy toes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol randy ye gotta take hunni I cannae deal wae his snotters lol xxxxx best way to keep him lol xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol randy ye gotta take hunni I cannae deal wae his snotters lol xxxxx best way to keep him lol xxxx "

Ach ok. He can come back so long as he doesn't go AWOL with the Ginger Man on me again. He missed a great night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cough cough is that all our application forms thrown out then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cough cough is that all our application forms thrown out then "

No don't be silly. The massages still have you in the running. Besides, there's room for everyone's attributes in the talent pool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your just trying to be greedy lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think your just trying to be greedy lol "

Yes. I concur. Now what's your point?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No points lol im jst looking forward to you pimping me out to woman so i can finally get a meet lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No points lol im jst looking forward to you pimping me out to woman so i can finally get a meet lol

Massages first. Pimping benefits later. That's how it works. Benefits are not guaranteed & do not constitute part of your contract. The benefits & your contract may be subject to change with reasonable notice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok then lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok then lol "

There's a requirement for a Bathing Hunk on the Court In Session thread. Might suit a masseuse like yourself. Kind of aftercare service. Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok then lol

There's a requirement for a Bathing Hunk on the Court In Session thread. Might suit a masseuse like yourself. Kind of aftercare service. Lol! "

lol thanks just put my services up lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok then lol

There's a requirement for a Bathing Hunk on the Court In Session thread. Might suit a masseuse like yourself. Kind of aftercare service. Lol!

lol thanks just put my services up lol "

Err when did your slave die ya whipper snapper?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol what do you mean

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol what do you mean

Oops I misread that. Apologies.

You HAVE put your services forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes lol but i think theyve been refused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol what do you mean

Oops I misread that. Apologies.

You HAVE put your services forward. "

its ok il let you off with it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol what do you mean

Oops I misread that. Apologies.

You HAVE put your services forward.

its ok il let you off with it

Yes but you're still not off the hook with a massage for the Management. Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol what do you mean

Oops I misread that. Apologies.

You HAVE put your services forward.

its ok il let you off with it

Yes but you're still not off the hook with a massage for the Management. Lol. "

anytime you want it just let me know lol

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By *andom2chatMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain

"Awww randy there's poor cheesy cryin into his fish fingers n spaghetti hoops ... He's so trying to put on a brave face but I can see he's a shell of a man ... Inconsolable snottery wreck xxxx "

Boo, this cracked me up. Is the boy ok? Lol

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