FabSwingers.com forum: moral dilemma

By *lave4couple OP Man
over a year ago

kilmarnock

On certain sites that I don't pay patronage to - there are profiles that appear interesting but due to their policy/site can not contact. (the question itself applies to FAB also in a way but this is more for pay sites)

Through some investigation using only their username and something that links their username to (oh I don't know ... twitter) something else - it's possible to accidentally come across something more substantial such as their Facebook profile.

Would you ignore it completely?

If you knew them would you send them a message and say hi?

If you knew them would you tell them where you found them and ask them to be careful?

If you did not know them, would you contact them just to let them know that it was so easy?

Think about the question for a bit before replying - how would you feel if someone contacted you to advise that your profile was so easily found? would you feel grateful or enraged?

Also I guess - this is a reminder to everyone, use usernames that don't link to anything you don't want people to find - but I've been put in this situation myself and I'm open to thoughts.

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By *ustforalaugh1Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Contact and warn them to be careful.

I'm still finding my way, and could well make mistakes, so a friendly "word to the wise" wwould be much appreciated!

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By *lave4couple OP Man
over a year ago

kilmarnock

I should add ...

If you knew of them ... (difference)

If you knew them

if you don't know them

sorry I don't think I was clear there, of them being 'they are mutual friends of friends on facebook' etc.

Thanks _ustforalaugh1, not ignoring you but want to see if I get much of a difference in opinion here

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

I'm still a bit confused of what you're asking!

I have many people from the kink scene on my facebook but we all have the understanding that facebook has friends and family who may not know that we're kinky so it's obviously not talked about on there-we can talk about it on the kinky site.

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By *lave4couple OP Man
over a year ago

kilmarnock

[Removed by poster at 07/04/13 02:30:15]

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By *lave4couple OP Man
over a year ago

kilmarnock

The people you know and know you - is not the topic as such.

If someone was able to link your facebook to a profile outside of your friends how would you feel? (eg via a simple google search)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd probably just phone my nearest cop shop and get an injunction out on the stalker.

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

Well i'm still confused as to how anyone could find you in a 'simple google search', they must've had something to go on. Maybe you should spell it out like you're talking to a five year old cause i've no idea what you're on about! My real name Brian is used in my FL username and others and i cant see anyone on fb finding any of my kink profiles from any simple search!

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By *lave4couple OP Man
over a year ago

kilmarnock

ok as an example (to my knowledge no such user exists)

user has profile greatswingingsite.com/fabfunfabulous2010

user (worst offender)

has facebook.com/fabfunfabulous2010

not so bad but still bloody scary

user has the first one above and a twitter account called "fabfunfabulous2010" which then shows the name, age and location (which will match up with other profiles such as their FB)

This sounds bad, but it's ridiculously easy to do and is even more innocent if they are just trying to find you on another swinging/fetish/dating whatever site that they CAN send a genuine 'introduction' message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok as an example (to my knowledge no such user exists)

user has profile greatswingingsite.com/fabfunfabulous2010

user (worst offender)

has facebook.com/fabfunfabulous2010

not so bad but still bloody scary

user has the first one above and a twitter account called "fabfunfabulous2010" which then shows the name, age and location (which will match up with other profiles such as their FB)

So, what your saying is, you noticed a profile that you like on a paysite. Didn't want to pay to contact him/her so decided to run the name through a google search and try contact THAT way? Sounds a tad desperate to me!

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

Well just judging from that example i'd say it was pretty unlikely-nobody would have their fb the same as their fab or twitter (if it was a naughty twitter) and the same goes for unless it was a naughty fb so wouldn't bother about the connection. I see the same people on every naughty site but dont see them on fb, except for the kinksters through mutual friends.

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By *lave4couple OP Man
over a year ago

kilmarnock

Thanks for the insinuation however desperation is not the situation.

"I'd probably just phone my nearest cop shop and get an injunction out on the stalker."

That to me would suggest ignorance of technology and over-handedness - however I felt at the time bringing it up may cause conflict.

The point I'm trying to state here is regardless of how - your username gives you away. Would you rather not know about it then and be blissfully unaware that someone with less genuine concern had found you?

Because from what you've just said you'd report anyone that brought up that issue in an instant when they could have ignored it for someone else to appear at your door - or your wifes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the insinuation however desperation is not the situation.

"I'd probably just phone my nearest cop shop and get an injunction out on the stalker."

That to me would suggest ignorance of technology and over-handedness - however I felt at the time bringing it up may cause conflict.

Because from what you've just said you'd report anyone that brought up that issue in an instant when they could have ignored it for someone else to appear at your door - or your wifes."

Well put it this way then. If i was daft enough to to join a site with the name 'fuckmebackwards', then use the same name on my facebook, i'd probably deserve all i got. (including being fucked backwards)

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"I'd probably just phone my nearest cop shop and get an injunction out on the stalker."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not that I understand your post but am kind of getting where you are coming from by comments made, you can in your account click to remove your profile so that it cannot be searched for on the internet, fingers crossed as I have done it no-one would be able to find me.

And I don't have a twatter account, and facebook is for family and friends, not swinger friends

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"I'd probably just phone my nearest cop shop and get an injunction out on the stalker."

if only it were that easy!!!!

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