FabSwingers.com forum: socals

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had this chat in chat tonight!

seems socials these days have went downhill,they have went from open to all ,to if your face fits your welcome if not and your face pic dont suit then your on your own,what happened to ,open to all and getting to know all others on site ?

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"Had this chat in chat tonight!

Dont get me started on the socials subject lol. Open for all should be how they are, if it's a big organised event like a ball or even just a resteraunt etc then fair enough to have limited numbers and deposits but not for drinks nights in the pub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We went to our first social 3 yrs ago and they r just getting better lots of nice ppl having a great time ,r the ppl u r chatting to that r saying they r going downhill do they go to socials ?

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By *ustforalaugh1Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Had this chat in chat tonight!

What, are there bouncers on the door? !

Yet to go to my first, but have to say I'm really looking forward to it.

Why the negatively?

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By *az n davy42Couple
over a year ago

Ayr

we have done a few socials and we open it to everyone however we do have to restrict numbers depending on the venue but we would only say no to someone if there has been trouble in the past at an event.

We also feel although some people dont get on that we are all adults and for one night can just ignore as venue normally big enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One word. CLIQUES! I was going to attend a social in edinburgh last year. When i pm'ed for details, i was told that there were too many going.

But on the forums, people were still being told to pm the organiser for details 3 days later. Put me right off socials.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We went to our first social 3 yrs ago and they r just getting better lots of nice ppl having a great time ,r the ppl u r chatting to that r saying they r going downhill do they go to socials ?"
a few yes a few no,was just a mere subject,why these days the need to accept someone because of what they look like ,does looks really need to be a be all of attending a social or is it all about what the host wants as this is what it comes across as these days,been users on site for six year a never once been asked for a face pic to attend ,spoke to a few tonight and seems if they aint what the host/hostess want they are on the bucket list,surely its all about meeting others?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we have done a few socials and we open it to everyone however we do have to restrict numbers depending on the venue but we would only say no to someone if there has been trouble in the past at an event.

We also feel although some people dont get on that we are all adults and for one night can just ignore as venue normally big enough."
and thats exactly what they used to be like

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By *avy42 n jazCouple
over a year ago

Ayr

thats cause the people that were doing the social had a reserve list, as in the ball. we also have a cut off number, but reserve list in case people cant get sitters or make it, we welcome all and try and get everyone involved in mingling, but correct what dirty said about some, if yar face fits at other venues

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By *ustforalaugh1Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"We went to our first social 3 yrs ago and they r just getting better lots of nice ppl having a great time ,r the ppl u r chatting to that r saying they r going downhill do they go to socials ?a few yes a few no,was just a mere subject,why these days the need to accept someone because of what they look like ,does looks really need to be a be all of attending a social or is it all about what the host wants as this is what it comes across as these days,been users on site for six year a never once been asked for a face pic to attend ,spoke to a few tonight and seems if they aint what the host/hostess want they are on the bucket list,surely its all about meeting others?

Is possible you have acted inappropriately before and are on naughty step?

Maybe try and arrange your own social, see how it goes. Can't imagine it's the easiest thing in the world to organise.

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By *avy42 n jazCouple
over a year ago

Ayr

am backing out this post as it will end up wrong direction as most posts do, or people jump in feet first without reading what the forums really about lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We went to our first social 3 yrs ago and they r just getting better lots of nice ppl having a great time ,r the ppl u r chatting to that r saying they r going downhill do they go to socials ?a few yes a few no,was just a mere subject,why these days the need to accept someone because of what they look like ,does looks really need to be a be all of attending a social or is it all about what the host wants as this is what it comes across as these days,been users on site for six year a never once been asked for a face pic to attend ,spoke to a few tonight and seems if they aint what the host/hostess want they are on the bucket list,surely its all about meeting others?

We have never been asked for a face pic for any social and been to ones in glsgw and ayrshire,maybe the ppl u been chatting to should try one of them.

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"Maybe try and arrange your own social, see how it goes. Can't imagine it's the easiest thing in the world to organise. "

That would all depend on the kind of social you want.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

easy answer is if you dont like any of the other socials then organise one yourself.

ive been to numerous socials over the years organised by different people and not once have i or others been told we couldnt go . if your names down quick and your paid up then youll get going .once spaces run out then thats it . but thats life

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By *ustforalaugh1Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"am backing out this post as it will end up wrong direction as most posts do, or people jump in feet first without reading what the forums really about lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"easy answer is if you dont like any of the other socials then organise one yourself.

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

"One word. CLIQUES! I was going to attend a social in edinburgh last year. When i pm'ed for details, i was told that there were too many going.

But on the forums, people were still being told to pm the organiser for details 3 days later. Put me right off socials."

I would say it depends on the scale, you just need to go in the chatrooms when it's busy to find quite an unwelcoming clique. Random anons jump on the few girls that are there and will protect their 'meat' with whatever illiterate shit they can think of.

Yes, yes - socials are not meets - however the same intent is there regardless of expected outcome. Asking for photos is just the hostess trying to get into you, if they really wanted it for security they could ask people to bring passports etc on the night.

Sadly, like any large company or organization - it's all about the politics and the rats trying to race to the top of the ladder. When it's couples only, at the point of disruption - one of them should have their brain in their heads and not between their legs.

Charisma is to the chatroom

what vanity is to the event.

And people say being pretty and vain is a stereotype - heh.

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"One word. CLIQUES! I was going to attend a social in edinburgh last year. When i pm'ed for details, i was told that there were too many going.

But on the forums, people were still being told to pm the organiser for details 3 days later. Put me right off socials.

Charisma is to the chatroom

what vanity is to the event.

And people say being pretty and vain is a stereotype - heh."

Dont hold back and be shy, tell us what you really think

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By *ustforalaugh1Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

OMG!

Seriously guys, where is the love?

If you ain't happy with the way people put their own time and effort into arrangements, step up and do it yourself! ?

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

Dont hold back and be shy, tell us what you really think

haha, don't get me wrong here I'm sure there are lovely socials when done correctly -- however it still goes back to essentially the same psychology.

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By *az n davy42Couple
over a year ago

Ayr

I think what ppl think are cliques are just that ppl have got to know ppl. Obv if we go into a chat room or social we will talk to those we know more than those we dont. However we still chat to others but obv more to ppl we know as that is life and normal so dont think it clique think it is just you get to know people.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

[Removed by poster at 07/04/13 02:21:42]

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Sorry slave but in all the years of going to socials ,i have never been asked or heard of ppl being asked to provide picture before a social .

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

"I think what ppl think are cliques are just that ppl have got to know ppl.

That is exactly right, and from what experience I have of your own meets you appear to encourage almost 'callcentre' quality icebreaking (tech term sorry)

But people do need to be very aware of that. Not just the oldies but the newbies too. At MOST socials - the ones that get together stick together and leave the newbs to themselves. At events I personally like the car keys cliche but I'm sure some wouldn't.

However regarding the clique, avoiding it somehow is how to make a social work.

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

"i have never been asked or heard of ppl being asked to provide picture "

Sorry I was replying to someone with the picture statement, I've had a lot of strange crap asked of me for socials but a photo in my own experience has never been one of them.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"i have never been asked or heard of ppl being asked to provide picture

Sorry I was replying to someone with the picture statement, I've had a lot of strange crap asked of me for socials but a photo in my own experience has never been one of them."

all ive ever been asked for is my site name for list and to make payment lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think what ppl think are cliques are just that ppl have got to know ppl.

That is exactly right, and from what experience I have of your own meets you appear to encourage almost 'callcentre' quality icebreaking (tech term sorry)

However regarding the clique, avoiding it somehow is how to make a social work."

U must be going to the wrong socials coz the ones we go to everyone mingles and have a great time .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who organises these socials you're all talking about?I've been to a fair few now,put my name down,paid my returnable deposite,turned up at the venue and had a great night!!Never been asked for a picture....where did that come from??I organised one recently and it was absolutely open to ALL!!As were all the other the other ones I'd been to.The socials serve a purpose,getting as many members as is permitted together for a drink,a dance and a laugh!!!!The majority love them it would seem....and some don't!!!!!!That's life.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who organises these socials you're all talking about?I've been to a fair few now,put my name down,paid my returnable deposite,turned up at the venue and had a great night!!Never been asked for a picture....where did that come from??I organised one recently and it was absolutely open to ALL!!As were all the other the other ones I'd been to.The socials serve a purpose,getting as many members as is permitted together for a drink,a dance and a laugh!!!!The majority love them it would seem....and some don't!!!!!!That's life........."

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By *ustforalaugh1Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Think the lesson here is "don't sling mud or talk shit without thinking it through'??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think the lesson here is "don't sling mud or talk shit without thinking it through'??"

Is it? And heres me thinking it was a discussion about socials. You live n learn eh!

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By *ustforalaugh1Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Think the lesson here is "don't sling mud or talk shit without thinking it through'??

Is it? And heres me thinking it was a discussion about socials. You live n learn eh!"

Maybe started as a discussion, but seems to have deteriorated into a slagging session of the people who put the time and effort into organising these events.

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

I don't believe people are encouraging a slagging, but some people are getting overly sensitive. I vaguely remember this coming up in chat and I think people are just looking / giving their opinions and thoughts on the subject.

Certainly don't think anyone in particular is being targeted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We went to our first social 3 yrs ago and they r just getting better lots of nice ppl having a great time ,r the ppl u r chatting to that r saying they r going downhill do they go to socials ?a few yes a few no,was just a mere subject,why these days the need to accept someone because of what they look like ,does looks really need to be a be all of attending a social or is it all about what the host wants as this is what it comes across as these days,been users on site for six year a never once been asked for a face pic to attend ,spoke to a few tonight and seems if they aint what the host/hostess want they are on the bucket list,surely its all about meeting others?

We have never been asked for a face pic for any social and been to ones in glsgw and ayrshire,maybe the ppl u been chatting to should try one of them."
yes but yoyr a cple

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One word. CLIQUES! I was going to attend a social in edinburgh last year. When i pm'ed for details, i was told that there were too many going.

But on the forums, people were still being told to pm the organiser for details 3 days later. Put me right off socials.

Charisma is to the chatroom

what vanity is to the event.

And people say being pretty and vain is a stereotype - heh."
same as this forum then and they are all protecting their own

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

DirtynMad, were you the folks that been asked or picked up from the chat that they someone else had been asked.

I can imagine it's possible but I genuinely don't think it's common practice to do so. Maybe it's being confused with meets? there is so much lying going on when it comes down to fems and couples (usually guys pretending to be something they aren't) that some moderation is done - however for the most part to my knowledge a social is a no expectation chat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm single!!!!!never been turned away from any!!!The socials are for ALL!!!!Singles,couples,quadruplets,big,wee,fat,thin,drinkers,smokers,vegitarians,vegans,gingers..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We went to our first social 3 yrs ago and they r just getting better lots of nice ppl having a great time ,r the ppl u r chatting to that r saying they r going downhill do they go to socials ?a few yes a few no,was just a mere subject,why these days the need to accept someone because of what they look like ,does looks really need to be a be all of attending a social or is it all about what the host wants as this is what it comes across as these days,been users on site for six year a never once been asked for a face pic to attend ,spoke to a few tonight and seems if they aint what the host/hostess want they are on the bucket list,surely its all about meeting others?

We have never been asked for a face pic for any social and been to ones in glsgw and ayrshire,maybe the ppl u been chatting to should try one of them.yes but yoyr a cple"

And we know singles that go to socials and they have never been asked for a pic,can I ask when was the last time u where at a social?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm single!!!!!never been turned away from any!!!The socials are for ALL!!!!Singles,couples,quadruplets,big,wee,fat,thin,drinkers,smokers,vegitarians,vegans,gingers.........."
bolloxs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We went to our first social 3 yrs ago and they r just getting better lots of nice ppl having a great time ,r the ppl u r chatting to that r saying they r going downhill do they go to socials ?a few yes a few no,was just a mere subject,why these days the need to accept someone because of what they look like ,does looks really need to be a be all of attending a social or is it all about what the host wants as this is what it comes across as these days,been users on site for six year a never once been asked for a face pic to attend ,spoke to a few tonight and seems if they aint what the host/hostess want they are on the bucket list,surely its all about meeting others?

We have never been asked for a face pic for any social and been to ones in glsgw and ayrshire,maybe the ppl u been chatting to should try one of them.yes but yoyr a cple

And we know singles that go to socials and they have never been asked for a pic,can I ask when was the last time u where at a social?

"
a few months ago at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single!!!!!never been turned away from any!!!The socials are for ALL!!!!Singles,couples,quadruplets,big,wee,fat,thin,drinkers,smokers,vegitarians,vegans,gingers.......... bolloxs"

Hahahah......you're eloquence knows no bounds!!!!Nice one!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"DirtynMad, were you the folks that been asked or picked up from the chat that they someone else had been asked.

Gobbledegook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single!!!!!never been turned away from any!!!The socials are for ALL!!!!Singles,couples,quadruplets,big,wee,fat,thin,drinkers,smokers,vegitarians,vegans,gingers.........."

So, the blonde triplets i know aren't allowed then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single!!!!!never been turned away from any!!!The socials are for ALL!!!!Singles,couples,quadruplets,big,wee,fat,thin,drinkers,smokers,vegitarians,vegans,gingers..........

So, the blonde triplets i know aren't allowed then?

Ah someone with a sense of humour!!!Aye,bring them along to the next one!!!

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

The thread is in danger of turning into a bit of a farce maybe with some comments i'd say...some sober comments may be more productive lol.

On a serious note though when it comes to a drinks night social in a pub, why is a deposit needed? That's the one thing i dont understand.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm single!!!!!never been turned away from any!!!The socials are for ALL!!!!Singles,couples,quadruplets,big,wee,fat,thin,drinkers,smokers,vegitarians,vegans,gingers..........

So, the blonde triplets i know aren't allowed then?

Ah someone with a sense of humour!!!Aye,bring them along to the next one!!!"
so long as they aint going to show up the host/hostess im sure they will be welcome

we can all see the funny side of somes posts in a different way

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

these sites are full of single guys brimming over the top ... yes, they are treated like second class citizens, not sure if that's a stygma about single fems swinging, homophobia in couples or protection from one the other or what but *shrugs* that's a topic for someone else.

Each couple is different and approach it differently. The same applies to socials and even meets too. I wont mention one that has came to mind however the hosts that replied to even this thread are very open about who goes to the socials and I really don't believe that has changed.

It's just like your clubs across Scotland, some of them are shit, some average - some fantastic. USUALLY the most advertised are not so great...

This goes slightly back into the clique side of things, but have a conversation with the host and suss out what you think is going on.

Cards are stacked heavily against single guys - however the big high limit socials should not be an issue.

(gags self so that no names are brought up)

The only thing I can see is smaller events where there is a 20 person venue and the organizer doesn't want a 19-1 m-f ratio.

I may have my reservations against certain aspects of the swinging scene but I do genuinely believe the larger socials welcome everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a returnable deposit returnable on the night!!Numbers being restricted to venue capacity you secure a place.....stops timewasters too!!!.....and it's a total hassle to organise!!!

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"It's a returnable deposit returnable on the night!!Numbers being restricted to venue capacity you secure a place.....stops timewasters too!!!.....and it's a total hassle to organise!!!"

So how many on average do you normally get actually showing up? When it comes to timewasters who dont show up then what's the big deal, it's just another less body in the pub. As for hassle, it's not so much a hassle on the kink scene so why is so much of a one on here?

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

well to my own surprise in bonny ayrshire apparently (and I paraphrase from someone that has posted here tonight) 80-90 people.

Can you fit those in violate or Bedlam sweetie without causing a stir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was over 80 ppl at the valentines social and deposits are taken to secure your place,but then again wen u got fannys that dont go to them and then try to put ppl off them they r the losers because we who do go r havin a great time .

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By *lasgowpowerMan
over a year ago

genoa

[Removed by poster at 07/04/13 04:04:43]

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By *lasgowpowerMan
over a year ago

genoa

So how easy is it for a total newcomer to the scene to attend a social on their own? Do you think it's better to have a friend with you or try and get to know someone from the site first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Declaring yourself the organiser/host of anything brings its little pressures and responsibilities im sure.

Doing it as fairly as is possible reduces the hastle.

No idea what gets people excluded,we can guess at it certainly, maybe a consistant "ohh put me down for 2 places" and never show gets you put in the back of the list so to speak.

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"well to my own surprise in bonny ayrshire apparently (and I paraphrase from someone that has posted here tonight) 80-90 people.

Can you fit those in violate or Bedlam sweetie without causing a stir

Well on busy nights i'd say violate's had just about as many people, i've not been in a while as i prefer the other club...and that's getting busier by the month so next week wouldn't surprise me if it was 100+! I'd say 100 would be consertive for both clubs.

Asking for a deposit on the kink scene for a munch (drinks social as it would be called here) is a laughable idea and would be shot down in derision by all-a place has an area booked, it's advertised in the events and group forums for all to see then anybody and everybody are welcome along! Choose a place you think can handle expected numbers.

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

it's always better to have a friend, preferably of the opposite sex - but not required.

I think even 2 guys that know each other would work for the larger ones. The important factor is that you are not slinking about like a wet drip feeling sorry for yourself. More than 1 there will help with the confidence and that confidence would help to break down the social anticipation.

Getting to know the ones from the site can be trickier - the most likely to turn up are also sometimes the most suspicious of new folk (previous let downs etc) it's also not easy to get the same group of people together for the same social - so even if you meet someone on the site it might be a bitch to match things up.

My advice would be in this order

1) take your willing g/f b/f friend from school that you've been screwing behind the bikesheds

2 chat on the forums, break into chatrooms and *try* to get a connection but don't let that get you down.

3) make sure and have a good feel, big socials mean the chance of more people not knowing each other, a few drinks and some icebreaking by good hosts should help that, then maybe by the next social you'll know more people and not just be more comfortable but project yourself more.

Then in no time at all you'll be one of the ones that's getting ribbed here tonight for being clique

/hides.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The deposit is asked for because lots of ppl where putting their names down with no intention of going and doing gen ppl out of a place,i think if u ask ppl who do actually go to socials they dont mind paying a deposit.

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"There was over 80 ppl at the valentines social and deposits are taken to secure your place,but then again wen u got fannys that dont go to them and then try to put ppl off them they r the losers because we who do go r havin a great time ."

Was that a drinks night or a bigger event? Bigger events i have no prob with deposits and paying in advance as numbers HAVE to be set.

There's always going to be genuine people who plan on going somewhere in advance but then all of a sudden weeks later something unexpected crops up and they cant-why should the organiser profit from that when all they've done is phone or stop in the pub and say i want that area reserved.

I'm used to the kink scene, i've been out to the social nights that are held weekly for over two years and i just dont get the insular way things are done here in all honesty.

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By *lasgowpowerMan
over a year ago

genoa

Thanks for the really helpful post! I'll look for the large socials first and bringing a female friend seems like a very good idea indeed.

On that last point is there the risk of being classed as "couple" and being ignored by people (such as other couples) that may be looking for a single guy to join them?

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

"I'd say 100 would be consertive for both clubs. "

Yes, but we are talking about 1 party of 80+ people. Not the WHOLE club. Not only would that be suspicious but it might 'sell-out'

"Asking for a deposit on the kink scene for a munch (drinks social as it would be called here) is a laughable idea and would be shot down in derision by all-a place has an area booked, it's advertised in the events and group forums for all to see then anybody and everybody are welcome along! Choose a place you think can handle expected numbers."

A munch is a slightly different kettle of fish, I'm in the scene and I know how it goes - I agree with you to some extent but in general these hosts are sometimes hiring out venues that they need to cover for. You can't just take a huge group and park it down somewhere. What if you book for 100 and 20 show up? do you ask the ones that did show to pay 5x more after the fact?

I would say the fetish scene is more dedicated on AVERAGE (major generalization) than the swinging scene. If I chat to someone on fet life and we agree to meet I'm 80%+ sure that they will even just to chat about stuff. I realise there are some very genuine dedicated swingers, but it's much easier to go for a social with someone into BDSM than not get cold feet speaking to someone you've already actively encouraged sexual engagement with.

For me anyway, it has always been easier to explain a BDSM or goth or EBM munch than it is a swingers social.

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"The deposit is asked for because lots of ppl where putting their names down with no intention of going and doing gen ppl out of a place,i think if u ask ppl who do actually go to socials they dont mind paying a deposit. "

Yes and as i said-big deal! Try an open door policy rather than limited numbers. There's a monthly munch in the counting house and i'm sure the same area in it will take a fab social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was that a drinks night or a bigger event? Bigger events i have no prob with deposits and paying in advance as numbers HAVE to be set.

I'm used to the kink scene, i've been out to the social nights that are held weekly for over two years and i just dont get the insular way things are done here in all honesty."

Maybe u should stick to ur kink nites then and we will stick to our socials.

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"I'd say 100 would be consertive for both clubs.

Yes, but we are talking about 1 party of 80+ people. Not the WHOLE club. Not only would that be suspicious but it might 'sell-out'

For me anyway, it has always been easier to explain a BDSM or goth or EBM munch than it is a swingers social."

Other than the 5X more after the fact comment as nobody pays anything for a munch (other than their own food and drink) then you get where i'm coming from in my confusion why it can work in one scene but not the other.

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

On that last point is there the risk of being classed as "couple" and being ignored by people (such as other couples) that may be looking for a single guy to join them? "

No, because you'd already be starting to fall into the clique

Being looked on like a couple - even non sexually, gives more reasons for people to connect with you. If you sufficiently mingle single when you are more comfortable then the same opportunities should arise.

I think though, that most singles would maybe feel more comfortable talking to you as a couple. If you start chatting, let the situation be known casually and off you go.

A bad scenario could be, 2 single guys meet, 1 very straight 1 bi .. instantly there is stigma

They are both wondering what category the other falls into - creates tension. However this wont happen as a couple because they'll be more likely to interact socially.

Moral lesson here, it's very hard to lose as a couple - but you need to work harder for it as a guy. (not so much for a woman due to the amount of guys)

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By *lave4coupleMan
over a year ago

kilmarnock

SissyForDomme, I'm going to use the kink cliquey card here and ask you pm me.. I think this is approaching annoyance for certain entities and I'm sure I can explain it better without watching my politics x

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"Maybe u should stick to ur kink nites then and we will stick to our socials."

I have and the debates that i keep seeing on here about socials means that i will do more than likely! They're a much more inclusive and welcoming crowd is the impression i get from comments in this and other threads on socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On that last point is there the risk of being classed as "couple" and being ignored by people (such as other couples) that may be looking for a single guy to join them?

No, because you'd already be starting to fall into the clique

I think though, that most singles would maybe feel more comfortable talking to you as a couple. If you start chatting, let the situation be known casually and off you go.

A bad scenario could be, 2 single guys meet, 1 very straight 1 bi .. instantly there is stigma

They are both wondering what category the other falls into - creates tension. However this wont happen as a couple because they'll be more likely to interact socially.

Moral lesson here, it's very hard to lose as a couple - but you need to work harder for it as a guy. (not so much for a woman due to the amount of guys)"

Gobbledegook again and slave should u not be sleeping the same as ur master/misstres

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By *lasgowpowerMan
over a year ago

genoa

I see, that makes a lot of sense. I will get my friend involved

. Again thanks for all the sound advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe u should stick to ur kink nites then and we will stick to our socials.

Hope u enjoy urself as much as we do at the socials

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

"Maybe u should stick to ur kink nites then and we will stick to our socials.

Hope u enjoy urself as much as we do at the socials "

I certainly do enjoy myself at munches and and all the other vanilla nights outwith the kink scene with my kinky friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we didny send our face pic to go to our first social! in sayin that sum fookin weirdo thot it was his right to take pic of mrs! Mega downer put on night and very unsure if we will eber go to another which is sad as we met sum nice ppl xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think the lesson here is "don't sling mud or talk shit without thinking it through'??

Is it? And heres me thinking it was a discussion about socials. You live n learn eh!

Maybe started as a discussion, but seems to have deteriorated into a slagging session of the people who put the time and effort into organising these events. "
and you have been to how many socials?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One word. CLIQUES! I was going to attend a social in edinburgh last year. When i pm'ed for details, i was told that there were too many going.

But on the forums, people were still being told to pm the organiser for details 3 days later. Put me right off socials.

Charisma is to the chatroom

what vanity is to the event.

And people say being pretty and vain is a stereotype - heh.same as this forum then and they are all protecting their own"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who has held the fife socials and lunches in the past years at least 10 + i would just like to say that never have i refused anyone from attending...they have always been open to all members...UNLESS at previous socials a person/persons has spoiled it for others or has made a nuisance of themselves have they been refused to attend (only happened once)

The object of my socials was so the members of fab could meet and greet each other...mingle with like minded people and basically partyyyyyy lol.

payment was always asked to be paid to secure a place for larger socials...often 130+ attended so a venue had to be paid for in advance...and even thou this was non refundable the proceeds were always donated to charity....lunches i have never asked for a deposit and must admit i don't get why one is asked for but all social organisers do things their own way....

Anyway that's my input to socials lol

Mrs Jaffa

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok can people not be personal about other posters as it spoils the debate and breaks forum rules.

If you have any issue with another poster then please take it private.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were never asked for a pic before being invited to a social

Deposits are taken to ensure that people turn up! If your venue has a capacity for 100 and you have 100 saying they are coming then have to refuse 50 only to get to the do and only 40 turn up would be a pain for everyone! As I understand it the deposit is to ensure only genuine people put their names down.

As for all the moaners and whingers if you don't like the way the socials are organised then why not have a go organising your own? Maybe then you will get a feeling of how much is involved a d how frustrating people can be!

L xx

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

[Removed by poster at 07/04/13 12:00:10]

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Had this chat in chat tonight!

sorry but where are all these people whove been excluded ? ive read whole thread and not seen one guy or anyone say they were refused place at social for any one the reasons youve given .

i can only go on the fact. on posts for socials where ever they are, there are guys ,cpls ,women ,newbies ,social regulars ,tall, short ,fat, thin ect ect all put name down for place . after any social the same mix of folks say they enjoyed themseleves and want more ! i have spoken to meny single guys who are new to socials and put their name down and go with no issues. not once in all years on here have i heard one guy say they werent allowed to go to social as werent good looking or wouldnt shag anyone . im sure if there was one ounce of truth in it they would be sending said email to admin to look at ,if there wasnt any valid reason for not allowing any cpl or single to go .

thankfully people can make up their own minds about socials for themselves .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a wee question, entirely understand about non returnable deposits where the host/ess has to put a deposit down themselves. however, where a deposit for a pub is going to be given back to you when you turn up, where does that money go if you cant go because of unforeseen circumstances?

Just curious

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By *olly Gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

Glenrothes

I've not read all the post but I just wonder if there are "socials" and "socials".

By this I mean, are there socials that are truly open to all - a means of meeting new friends. No more; no less.

But are there also some socials socials where the organiser (with our without their close immediate friends) sees the social as something of a cattle market - a parade of future shag partners.

Whats the difference I hear you ask? One is genuinely open to all on a first come, first served basis.

The other is more of a club (dare I say clique) list - stick your name down in the forum thread and well look at all applicants and choose who we want.

Just my pennarth worth; not saying that I'm right or wrong - just throwing my thoughts into the cauldron.

Bubble bubble......

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Socials, 'mostly' experience the same politics/warring fractions as chat and the forums do at times.

I would suggest PIA is to save the upset of the organisers to have to chase payment in the weeks leading up to the event, the worry, the forum threads asking for the non payers to honour their pledge to attend or at least have the common courtesy to advice of non attendance. There have been a few threads over the years stating socials will be cancelled unless people pay & at least one cancelled.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

advise*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I see it the socials are a great opportunity for genuine guys to get noticed and make friends.

I could spend hours on here sending messages with no response because there is so many time wasters and fakes clogging up mail boxes.

I've always been welcomed and enjoyed good chat. Maybe some people are going to the wrong socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG!

Seriously guys, where is the love?

If you ain't happy with the way people put their own time and effort into arrangements, step up and do it yourself! ?

Well said. The effort that organisers have to put into arranging a (single) Social is WAY above the call of duty for any member. The organisers do this with their own time, effort & in some cases cost (if folk cancel & they lose money on deposits).

I don't have ANY issue with folk restricting attendance after the hoohah on one infamous "Ball" that was organised, blabbed to the Media, & caused well documented upset on the site. It's no wonders organisers all had doubts on ever organising another Social as ambitious as that. So why shouldn't they as organisers restrict attendance to whatever they deem suitable to themselves - its their reputation at risk.

Socials are a good way of meeting others members you chat with & a fun way of meeting folk you chat with in a non-pressured environment that someone has gone to the effort to arrange.

If folk want to organise an event that's open to all then there's nothing stopping them. However, if they do & a "newbie" makes a rookie mistake by emailing the venue asking something stupid like "do you supply condoms?" & the event is subsequently cancelled at a cost to all the others attending then by all means let them organise an "open to all" policy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to."

It can be hard to put faces to names if you only talk on the forums but you get better at it with experience

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to.

It can be hard to put faces to names if you only talk on the forums but you get better at it with experience

Oh, and it helps if you are as loud and outgoing as I am too

. Get yourself to the next one you can and turn into my clone - get stuck in and you'll be fine lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to.

It can be hard to put faces to names if you only talk on the forums but you get better at it with experience

Oh, and it helps if you are as loud and outgoing as I am too

. Get yourself to the next one you can and turn into my clone - get stuck in and you'll be fine lmao

"
wanna be my wing man then lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single!!!!!never been turned away from any!!!The socials are for ALL!!!!Singles,couples,quadruplets,big,wee,fat,thin,drinkers,smokers,vegitarians,vegans,gingers.........."

Don't forget us Jessie's - never had a knock back from a Social. Lol!

Some I can't attend but I do let the organisers know by mail if I can't so they can offer my place if they have a Reserve List.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok here goes am a newbie went to my first social Friday, wasn't asked for any face pic or anything like that. Peeps couldnt have been nicer to me, walked in was greeted by my host immediately and welcomed. As far as not every1 greeting you, well I say you have to put in wot you want out. Every1 I spoke to on Fri were so nice, thanx to everyone for making the nite a blast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to."

That's yer first under yer belt. I have the same issue as folk mention their IDs, then sometimes real name & my head spins trying to remember em all & the faces. So I get d*unk & hit the dance floor (even when there IS no dance floor lol!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/04/13 13:07:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a wee question, entirely understand about non returnable deposits where the host/ess has to put a deposit down themselves. however, where a deposit for a pub is going to be given back to you when you turn up, where does that money go if you cant go because of unforeseen circumstances?

Just curious "

just to say thank you to jacs for clearing this point up - in no way did I mean to hint at anything untoward.

i think deposits are a good idea to try to get that bit of extra commitment.

On another site they publish a list of confirmed attendees so that you can get to know people a bit before you go which is quite a nice idea.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Had this chat in chat tonight!

I read the OP as people not feeling welcomed rather than excluded from attending.... and that has been mentioned before. Down to them not engaging others when they are there or sitting waiting for others to include them, no real formula to solve it. People are all different, you can only do your best to welcome.

In the past people have been asked for pics to attend parties, never heard socials tho..

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to.

I've heard it's dance floor, tables, bar.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had this chat in chat tonight!

In the past people have been asked for pics to attend parties, never heard socials tho.."
nor have I

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to."

Maybe don't wait for people to say hi. Go and introduce yourself.

We've all been newbies at socials and had to get to know people. Most of the people at the social on Friday I didn't know, so I went and said hi and introduced myself to lots of them.

Don't wait for others, take the initiative..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to.

Maybe don't wait for people to say hi. Go and introduce yourself.

We've all been newbies at socials and had to get to know people. Most of the people at the social on Friday I didn't know, so I went and said hi and introduced myself to lots of them.

Don't wait for others, take the initiative.."
yeh ano was my fault on my part - live and learn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to.

I've heard it's dance floor, tables, bar.........

Sometimes I've danced over people too Furry

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"attended my 1st one few days back an said previous i did enjoy myself

but was hard going trying 2 put names to each.

only help with a nice couple i sat with

still felt left out with no many saying hi

bu i suppose its newbie thing not many knowing who you are til you tend regular which i plan to.

I've heard it's dance floor, tables, bar.........

Sometimes I've danced over people too Furry

Oh, I forgot pole........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I've danced over people too Furry

Oh, I forgot pole........

No I don't think I've seen any Poles at a Social. Lol.

If I did get up off my arse & organise a Social I'd certainly vet the Poles myself. Now there's an idea - a Pole Social. Please pm me if you'd like me to organise one. Heehee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never been not allowed to a social and I get up and dance most of the time with anyone, and sometimes on my own. I do get into my tunes and get lost in the music, so if I ignore someone on the floor it's not you - it's me!

I chat to most folk but am shy (yes shy!) of new folk unless they come say hi to me. Most people turn out not to be 'new' as I've chatted to them before, but I've maybe not seen them or been introduced to them. So please new people, if I am sat down, come say hi, if I'm dancing wait til I'm sat down then come say hi!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never been not allowed to a social and I get up and dance most of the time with anyone, and sometimes on my own. I do get into my tunes and get lost in the music, so if I ignore someone on the floor it's not you - it's me!

I didn't see you sat down all night lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just want to add that I have attended many socials over the last year. My other half sometimes at the last minute due to work commitments is unable to attend and being able to attend on my own is a great achievement for me as in past I wouldn't have been confident enough to go myself. This is down to the people who organise them, the friends I've made and the others who attend , including me and welcoming me and also looking after me while I'm there. I have NEVER felt unwelcome or excluded , and have never been asked for pics when going to any socials.

For us socials are a big part of swinging .

Just my _iew on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if it was not for the socials how do you get to no each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've yet to attend a social, but this is something we will be looking to do in the near future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't see you sat down all night lol

I did sit down just very rarely. I was up dancing a lot though!

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By *risky4somesCouple
over a year ago

Near glasgow

We've been made welcome at the few socials we've been to... And it's a great way to meet new people that you might not normally chat to on here ..... And we've never been asked for any pics either... Though I'm sure we could have provided the odd naughty one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just want to add that I have attended many socials over the last year. My other half sometimes at the last minute due to work commitments is unable to attend and being able to attend on my own is a great achievement for me as in past I wouldn't have been confident enough to go myself. This is down to the people who organise them, the friends I've made and the others who attend , including me and welcoming me and also looking after me while I'm there. I have NEVER felt unwelcome or excluded , and have never been asked for pics when going to any socials.

For us socials are a big part of swinging .

Just my _iew on it

Oh we remember ur first one well lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thread is in danger of turning into a bit of a farce maybe with some comments i'd say...some sober comments may be more productive lol.

On a serious note though when it comes to a drinks night social in a pub, why is a deposit needed? That's the one thing i dont understand."

Because the amount of people that say 'oh i'll be there' then don't show without even a small deposit would increase, and take space away from people that genuinely want to attend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As I see it the socials are a great opportunity for genuine guys to get noticed and make friends.

I could spend hours on here sending messages with no response because there is so many time wasters and fakes clogging up mail boxes.

I've always been welcomed and enjoyed good chat. Maybe some people are going to the wrong socials.

Oh you were noticed!

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By *he Bluesome TwosomeCouple
over a year ago

west lothian

The few socials we have been to we have enjoyed and been welcomed, great way of meeting peeps with no pressure to play afterwards x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can kind of understand why there is a deposit but if you pay it and don't show do you get it back ? And if not where does it go ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can kind of understand why there is a deposit but if you pay it and don't show do you get it back ? And if not where does it go ?"
ask the host

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was just a general question

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By *lba couple1Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

Love the socials, don't get to speak to everyone , don't sit in a group that we know, always try to sit with new faces the go chatting to friends, xxx deposit is a great idea as better way to know how many are really coming, if I didn't manage along I wouldn't care what happened to my deposit, my problem not the organisers, never been asked for pics. The people who organise these night have my sympathy for the morons who come on spouting crap . TO ALL ORGANISERS.... WELL DONE

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Love the socials, don't get to speak to everyone , don't sit in a group that we know, always try to sit with new faces the go chatting to friends, xxx deposit is a great idea as better way to know how many are really coming, if I didn't manage along I wouldn't care what happened to my deposit, my problem not the organisers, never been asked for pics. The people who organise these night have my sympathy for the morons who come on spouting crap . TO ALL ORGANISERS.... WELL DONE"
i am assuming its me you calk a moron?another keyboard warrior ,defo makes me laugh.

We have never been asked for a face pic either as i stated and obviously you can read better than us morons ,this was a discussion in chat .I posted as it was a good discussion and it has been just that.We have been to many a social and met some great friends and had our eyes open to some sights .They have changed over the years and have become very Clique like stated if your face fits ,my opinion and i am aloud to express this the same as you expressed us morons sprout crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can kind of understand why there is a deposit but if you pay it and don't show do you get it back ? And if not where does it go ?ask the host"

You should get it back!!!It is only to secure a place and deter timewasters!!Unless it's a social in a private venue then you'll get it back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can kind of understand why there is a deposit but if you pay it and don't show do you get it back ? And if not where does it go ?ask the host

You should get it back!!!It is only to secure a place and deter timewasters!!Unless it's a social in a private venue then you'll get it back!"
Lots of PayPal activity then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Booked my next one. Can't wait.

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By *lba couple1Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

Just speaking generally not calling anyone in particular a moron., but glad your having a laugh. I did get my deposit back, just saying that if I hadn't made it I wouldn't have expected it back

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By *exyducksCouple
over a year ago

west coast

too many socials spoil the fun factor, because it becomes more of people getting too friendly, to the point they stick to there own group, socials when we start out were only 2-3 a year which was something you looked forward too,it`s now turning into 2-3 a month more like friends reunited than fab swingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* Socials are a brilliant way to meet new people & get to put faces to user names of people you mix well with on the Forums/Chat/perv their cams (lol). So if there is one local to you, get your name in early, pay your deposit, put yourself on a Reserve List if its full, & ALWAYS let the Organisers know if you cannot attend so they can offer your spot to the next on any Reserve List.

* As nervous as folk get most hosts/hostesses/attendees will look out for the newbies & ensure they mix just as much (or little) as they want to put the effort into meeting.

* Clubs are for those that want to meet for sex - Socials are designed to be a relaxed, fun & enjoyable way to meet other users SOCIALLY. What happens after the Social is not the Organisers concern.

* I don't have any issue with the Organisers requesting deposits (even non-refundable ones, tho I've never been to one yet where I didn't get something for my deposit or my money back), or requesting a face pic to possibly establish who I am or keep a way out to look for me (again tho that's not happened, tho I may have taken initiative & sent one so they would know me when I arrive).

* People spend HUGE amounts of time & effort into organising events so why shouldn't they put whatever safety precautions in place they deem fit (face pics, deposits, vet profiles, invite folk they know won't cause issues to themselves/venue/attendees)?

As previously stated some folk spent small fortunes on an infamous "Ball" on gowns, babysitters, travel, time off for self-employed, hotels, etc & the date & venue were given early & the whole thing was spoiled by someone who contacted the venue & it was subsequently leaked to the Press. I'm personally surprised many Organisers bothered to put their effort into a Scottish Social after that. They do however, & I for one thank them for taking the time to do it.

* I also recall one Social where the organiser pocketed the deposits & didn't organise the event at all. Caution goes both ways. Thankfully these happen rarely (only once that I recall), but that's life. Everyone gets bitten & learns from mistakes.

* Those that Socials don't suit or are excluded from (for whatever reason... and should ask themselves why) CAN organise their own Social, open it to all, not take a deposit, don't verify by pics or profiles who is attending, release the venue early & see how far they get & if there's any lessons to be learned from doing that way.

* Apologies if folk take this personally. It's certainly NOT aimed at ANYONE. It merely states some of the reasons why folk put precautions in place. Have fun if anyone is attending a Social near you. Please don't be put off. It's really a good way to meet & be accepted by the Fab Community.

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By *lba couple1Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

Well said randy tandem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"* Socials are a brilliant way to meet new people & get to put faces to user names of people you mix well with on the Forums/Chat/perv their cams (lol). So if there is one local to you, get your name in early, pay your deposit, put yourself on a Reserve List if its full, & ALWAYS let the Organisers know if you cannot attend so they can offer your spot to the next on any Reserve List.

* As nervous as folk get most hosts/hostesses/attendees will look out for the newbies & ensure they mix just as much (or little) as they want to put the effort into meeting.

* Clubs are for those that want to meet for sex - Socials are designed to be a relaxed, fun & enjoyable way to meet other users SOCIALLY. What happens after the Social is not the Organisers concern.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who will be my wing man in the next one

n well put RandyTandem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont do socials, have heard lots about them infact usually good.

us personaly wouldn't pay a deposit to go to one, so guess will never go.

lol tho yea i would consider arranging one and charging seems like a good way to make some cash to purchase some sexi outfits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get your deposit back when you go to social

the deposit is to try and prevent the no shows

not sure why that is hard to grasp!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You get your deposit back when you go to social

the deposit is to try and prevent the no shows

not sure why that is hard to grasp! "
. Well said was at my first social on Friday & it was a fab night was made very welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You get your deposit back when you go to social

the deposit is to try and prevent the no shows

not sure why that is hard to grasp! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'ooops my mistake'

'clique' 'clique'

grasp so harsh but hey well said, yours friends like it defo something to talk about at your next social

wreckon we would rather find nicer people to attent a social with

ohhh nearly forgot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"easy answer is if you dont like any of the other socials then organise one yourself.

we've just started going and really enjoyed them we, we were not asked for a face pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done Mr tandem take a bow.

You ever thought bout running for first minister lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

There is no need for nasty and serious allegations.

I think everyone has had their say now so maybe time to close.

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