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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!

STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!

OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!

JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.

IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..

PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant!!!

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Old but marvelous couch potato /camper here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made me chuckle

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh

One of those in particular is a comment often used by domestic abusers.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

which one ?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Read it in the welsh forum very funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen this before, but still makes me laugh. Every married guy I know should carry this in his phone & just flash it to the Missus - during commercial breaks. Lol!

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh


"which one ?"

Crying is blackmail.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Mine would be different in a few places

you don't have enough clothes ? get more i want to share them

To many shoes , wish we were same size

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Really funny but I'm never showing it to any woman as a serious list - I like my testicles too much lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One of those in particular is a comment often used by domestic abusers.

"

Might as well go the whole hog and say they were lifted from Mein Kampf, eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

poppy cock bru lol

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Always makes me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it!

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh


"One of those in particular is a comment often used by domestic abusers.

Might as well go the whole hog and say they were lifted from Mein Kampf, eh?"

If it makes you happy go for it, think you are being a bit extreme though....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"One of those in particular is a comment often used by domestic abusers.

Might as well go the whole hog and say they were lifted from Mein Kampf, eh?

If it makes you happy go for it, think you are being a bit extreme though...."
am sorry thought the forums were supposed to be fun Jesus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it makes you happy go for it, think you are being a bit extreme though...."

I don't see how it's any worse than what you're doing.

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh


"If it makes you happy go for it, think you are being a bit extreme though....

I don't see how it's any worse than what you're doing."

Which is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Which is?"

Reducing a harmless expression of masculinity to an issue of misogyny and domestic violence against women. Well, I'm assuming you meant violence against women?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fantastic lmfao

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh


"Which is?

Reducing a harmless expression of masculinity to an issue of misogyny and domestic violence against women. Well, I'm assuming you meant violence against women?"

Bad assumption

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bad assumption "

Ok, so if you were talking about domestic abuse in general ('unisex', shall we call it?) why bring it up in a thread about masculinity and blokeishness?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lighten up folks, it's a bit of fun

But u can never have too many shoes

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh


"Bad assumption

Ok, so if you were talking about domestic abuse in general ('unisex', shall we call it?) why bring it up in a thread about masculinity and blokeishness?"

Because casual acceptance of a concept or term often leads to acceptance of the concept/term in the mainstream ie the use of the term 'tard to refer to either in joke or otherwise a person being less intelligent or acting stupid.

Crying is a perfectly natural psychological response to stress, and although i do know that some people use crying to get their way, that should not overshadow the fact that people who are crying are generally in distress.

The "crying is blackmail" thing was very big in the 90's to the extent that there was a big campaign built around it, and thankfully the term and concept got removed from the mainstream by "shaming" people into not using it. I really don't want it to come back.

You will notice that i had absolutely no problem with any of the other things in the list, only the one that had very negative connotations to anyone that has ever heard that term in real life.

If you are looking for a gender based fight here you are looking at the wrong girl, as just about anyone who has taken the trouble to get to know me will tell you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lighten up folks, it's a bit of fun

But u can never have too many shoes "

agree..shoes,lingerie,handbags,life is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because casual acceptance of a concept or term often leads to acceptance of the concept/term in the mainstream ie the use of the term 'tard to refer to either in joke or otherwise a person being less intelligent or acting stupid.

Crying is a perfectly natural psychological response to stress, and although i do know that some people use crying to get their way, that should not overshadow the fact that people who are crying are generally in distress.

The "crying is blackmail" thing was very big in the 90's to the extent that there was a big campaign built around it, and thankfully the term and concept got removed from the mainstream by "shaming" people into not using it. I really don't want it to come back.

You will notice that i had absolutely no problem with any of the other things in the list, only the one that had very negative connotations to anyone that has ever heard that term in real life.

If you are looking for a gender based fight here you are looking at the wrong girl, as just about anyone who has taken the trouble to get to know me will tell you. "

Ok, I'll buy that you weren't trying to be sexist. It might have been wise to explain that in the first place though - surely you can see that bringing domestic abuse into a conversation about men's rules vs women's rules for their partners was always going to look that way?

Anything on that list (or indeed anything anywhere else) could have negative connotations for someone who has heard it as a part of a harrowing experience in their past. If we shied away from saying anything that's ever been said to anyone in an unpleasant situation we'd never say anything at all.

The best thing someone in that situation can do is to seek whatever help they need and get over it and find a way to hear simple English phrases without getting upset. Emotional blackmail needs talking about.

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh


"Lighten up folks, it's a bit of fun

But u can never have too many shoes

agree..shoes,lingerie,handbags,life is good "

lingerie, when do we ever not need more of that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lighten up folks, it's a bit of fun

But u can never have too many shoes

agree..shoes,lingerie,handbags,life is good

lingerie, when do we ever not need more of that? "

Never ever...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you are looking for a gender based fight here you are looking at the wrong girl, as just about anyone who has taken the trouble to get to know me will tell you. "

I think that should be reworded to 'can you really be arsed with me going on and on for four paragraphs at a time.'

Fun sucked out of one of the few posts that aren't titled suck, fuck or duck...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you are looking for a gender based fight here you are looking at the wrong girl, as just about anyone who has taken the trouble to get to know me will tell you.

I think that should be reworded to 'can you really be arsed with me going on and on for four paragraphs at a time.'

Fun sucked out of one of the few posts that aren't titled suck, fuck or duck... "

Isn't titled! Fucking autocorrect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!

STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!

OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!

JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.

IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..

PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!"

Hahaha love it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sad to see a thread that ha so much potential to turn into a right laugh end up about domestic violence...

Goode effort though bru!!!

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