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"Clubs can be hard if it's not a social event. Regulars know each other and it's like any pub nightclub, people tend to stay their in groups. Social events are a little different as the organisers try to mingle people and help to introduce newbies. The way I look at it. You make your own entertainment at clubs! Have fun together explore dungeons, play rooms, swings whatever. Have fun in a voyeur room. If people see you, watch you, they will want to meet you chat with you. Be confident, be sassy and have fun. If something ones from it, even better. " | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " We know how you feel, we were chatting to a couple on fab and when we met them the female turned her nose up at my partner as if she was better than her, you should give the clubs another chance though | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " We would of chatted but didn't turn up until half 12, we are also a bit shy at introducing ourselves (depending on how much drink has been consumed). What I can say though don't let it knock your confidence nor don't let it stop you from trying again as it wouldn't of been anything to do with either of you. | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " You have a very particular dynamic that might not really suit club situations its pretty clear you really just want a bi single f which are more scarce than unicorns and suggesting another couple play separate using the word "allowed" is an instant put off for most tbf | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? You have a very particular dynamic that might not really suit club situations its pretty clear you really just want a bi single f which are more scarce than unicorns and suggesting another couple play separate using the word "allowed" is an instant put off for most tbf " Noted | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " Don't think too much on it, we get that way too sometimes. We've never found two nights at any club the same. X | |||
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"Don't let that one time put you off. We've been going to Cjs for 7 years. For the first few years we went most weekends and we can say each weekend is different, different people, and, a different vibe. Some weekends we went we never spoke to anyone and other weekends we did. After you've been a few times other regulars will become familiar with you, that usually breaks the ice. " Thanks guys | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? Don't think too much on it, we get that way too sometimes. We've never found two nights at any club the same. X" Thank you, Yeh we were just a bit confused as Mrs was looking amazing and we put a lot of effort in for the night. | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " Get used to it that is how every man on here feels haha | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? Get used to it that is how every man on here feels haha " Not all men! | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? Get used to it that is how every man on here feels haha " Haven’t been to any clubs but I definitely would be going to have fun, if people don’t talk just annoy them into talking to you. | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? Get used to it that is how every man on here feels haha " I don't feel that way and defiantly could never dent my confidence I'm very happy on here, in clubs, house parties, big socials etc.. and anywhere I go I get good laughs and good company. I don't like clubs, having been to CJ's and it wasn't enjoyable in certain aspects but the people were sociable, great company, good crack and chat | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " Their loss | |||
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"We felt the same the first time and for most of the second time too. We are giving it another try this weekend…" Hopefully we will try again | |||
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"Clubs aren't working for everyone. We know that they are usually not for us. Gave it a go few times with rather mixed results. Do what works for you. " Yeah we will try again and see what cums of it | |||
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"Clubs aren't working for everyone. We know that they are usually not for us. Gave it a go few times with rather mixed results. Do what works for you. Yeah we will try again and see what cums of it " I always recommend to newer couples to go on a themed event night like the summer ball, Halloween etc. Tend to find it's less of the regulars who are often there more to socialise with friends than strangers(which is totally OK). People are generally so polite and respectful, especially towards couples who maybe seem new and hiding in a corner lol so there's a 100% chance people wanted to talk but were also too shy, intimidated or felt they wpukd be intruding/pressuring you. As you go more you'll get more of a feel for sensing when someone is interested. If you're giving off shy and timid (I don't mean that in a critical way) vibes people will give you space and leave you be so as not to make you feel pressured. My ex cried the first time we went as we basically hid in a dark corner all night looking like deer in the headlights! She felt unwanted and ugly then we logged into fab and lots of people had messaged saying they didn't want to intrude when they saw us but were super keen to (we have distinct tattoos so easily recognized from the profile pics). You'll no doubt go next time armed with all this info and project a much different vibe seeming more comfortable and have a totally different experience. So if you like someone next time just go up and compliment them and you'll see how open and engaging people are. The couples and single ladies night seems to be ideal for you so maybe wait til the next one or arrange in advance to meet folk here? | |||
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"Clubs aren't working for everyone. We know that they are usually not for us. Gave it a go few times with rather mixed results. Do what works for you. Yeah we will try again and see what cums of it I always recommend to newer couples to go on a themed event night like the summer ball, Halloween etc. Tend to find it's less of the regulars who are often there more to socialise with friends than strangers(which is totally OK). People are generally so polite and respectful, especially towards couples who maybe seem new and hiding in a corner lol so there's a 100% chance people wanted to talk but were also too shy, intimidated or felt they wpukd be intruding/pressuring you. As you go more you'll get more of a feel for sensing when someone is interested. If you're giving off shy and timid (I don't mean that in a critical way) vibes people will give you space and leave you be so as not to make you feel pressured. My ex cried the first time we went as we basically hid in a dark corner all night looking like deer in the headlights! She felt unwanted and ugly then we logged into fab and lots of people had messaged saying they didn't want to intrude when they saw us but were super keen to (we have distinct tattoos so easily recognized from the profile pics). You'll no doubt go next time armed with all this info and project a much different vibe seeming more comfortable and have a totally different experience. So if you like someone next time just go up and compliment them and you'll see how open and engaging people are. The couples and single ladies night seems to be ideal for you so maybe wait til the next one or arrange in advance to meet folk here? " Thank you, yes you pretty much summed up our situation and hopefully we can be more forthcoming next time we go | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " We have not been to a club yet. However that's very sad that you felt that way. Surely if people see a couple possibly new,shy, nervous. It would be nice to just go over and chat, introduce to others and just a bit of moral support. Perhaps if you meet someone on here and go together | |||
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"Clubs can be really hard and can take awhile to break into. Sometimes myself as a single female it can be intimidating to go and start conversations with people. Not sure what club you tried but I like after dark as it’s all on one level and easy to flow round and often find conversations start more when you bump into people wondering round and watching things rather than approaching people sitting down at a table. Wishing luck on your club journey " Thanks we are going to try after dark for our next club visit to see how it goes there | |||
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"I'm surprised this feeling wasnt just from the pov of a single guy , I myself had a bad experience on last club visit,my confidence hasn't been the same since. I know I should try and mingle more but its like I'm back at the school disco totally shitting it lol. " That doesn't sound good buddy hopefully next visit goes good for you. It can be hard mingling sometimes sometimes unfortunately you just get some conversations don't lead anywhere or it feels like pulling teeth trying to get one. | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " Sometimes the club environment can be hard to get used to if your just starting out and shy, or just not sure what to expect from it. I always recommend if there is a social before clubs night as these are good ways to meet like minded people. Am not sure what club you went to or what nights ie couples & single ladies or FFA It can take a while to get used to the nights and please don't let a bad experience put up off.the more you go the more confident you will get. Had a look at your profile and you come across as confident couple. Hopefully if you give it a chance you will start to like the full experience of the club If your ever at cjs come chat Dee x | |||
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"Clubs can be really hard and can take awhile to break into. Sometimes myself as a single female it can be intimidating to go and start conversations with people. Not sure what club you tried but I like after dark as it’s all on one level and easy to flow round and often find conversations start more when you bump into people wondering round and watching things rather than approaching people sitting down at a table. Wishing luck on your club journey Thanks we are going to try after dark for our next club visit to see how it goes there " Hopefully it picks up for you. Took me a good few times of going reg to get up courage to chat to people and they are all really friendly once you get chatting it’s the red neck of approaching people. Ah lovely maybe see you there then. give me a wee message and I can see if I can pop along to ease you into if you like | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? Sometimes the club environment can be hard to get used to if your just starting out and shy, or just not sure what to expect from it. I always recommend if there is a social before clubs night as these are good ways to meet like minded people. Am not sure what club you went to or what nights ie couples & single ladies or FFA It can take a while to get used to the nights and please don't let a bad experience put up off.the more you go the more confident you will get. Had a look at your profile and you come across as confident couple. Hopefully if you give it a chance you will start to like the full experience of the club If your ever at cjs come chat Dee x" Thanks we will keep that in mind when we go back to Cj’s | |||
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"We'll be at afterdark on the 16th, we normally sit at the table near the bar in a group talking complete shit haha. Anyway is always welcome to join us, please feel free x" Thanks | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? Sometimes the club environment can be hard to get used to if your just starting out and shy, or just not sure what to expect from it. I always recommend if there is a social before clubs night as these are good ways to meet like minded people. Am not sure what club you went to or what nights ie couples & single ladies or FFA It can take a while to get used to the nights and please don't let a bad experience put up off.the more you go the more confident you will get. Had a look at your profile and you come across as confident couple. Hopefully if you give it a chance you will start to like the full experience of the club If your ever at cjs come chat Dee x Thanks we will keep that in mind when we go back to Cj’s " It took me a long time to get used to the club scene and am not the most confident of people. The more i went the more I started to enjoy it. Now it's more like going to my local. Love meeting new people chatting and also helping newbies fund their feet. I have met some amazing people over the years. It honestly won't be you it just takes time especially if you are new to it all. Like someone else posted walk about the areas try chatting can be something as simple as how you like what someone has on their hair make up or even ask what they are drinking they are all ice breakers. Even if you see a group you can always chat and say hi we are??? Wish you all the best in this journey am sure once you go and the more you do you will wonder why you doubted yourself Dee x | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? You have a very particular dynamic that might not really suit club situations its pretty clear you really just want a bi single f which are more scarce than unicorns and suggesting another couple play separate using the word "allowed" is an instant put off for most tbf " And how is it a put off exactly? Is it written on her forehead that this is what she's looking for? Or perhaps people log straight away on fab, to check the profile? Even if someone isn't my cup of tea, there's no harm in being social and friendly. We all have different likes and needs, but it shouldn't be reason to exclude someone. OP is very attractive and that might be the reason. Simply jealousy and insecurity inmo. | |||
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"We went for our second visit to a club on Saturday thinking this is going to be the night! we actually do something tonight ( we are newbie’s ) we got there early and throughout the whole night not one person spoke to us It has knocked our confidence a bit. We did ask a couple to come chat when they got a chance but they never did. We had lots of chats on here with people wanting to come have a chat with us at the club but not one did. Is this normal on here and in clubs? " Sometimes being too good looking and unequivocally attractive can result in people being a little curt or defensive in their body language. When Jerry Hall married Rupert Murdoch this was apparently part of how he got her. She said no man had approached her in years and that although she knew she was beautiful, it seemed no one actually wanted her. Rupert Murdoch thought confidently approached her and was very direct and swooning, which is how that particular mismatch happened. | |||
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"That's a shame that we weren't there! If you ever plan to go back, or to check another club, give us a wee message and we can go together. Your profile looks amazing, you are confident about what you want and even if we wouldn't end up playing together, we could still have great time by simply socialising. Either way, good luck and I hope that you both will meet more friendly people next time! " Thanks hopefully going to a club again next month | |||
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"Clubs can and are very cliquey. Go to clubs down south if you can Night and day to the ones up here. Dont put yourself down you look and sound lovely. Just remember the ones that ignored you!get down south... " I don't think they are cliquey at all. Not in my experience anyway. I think at times they can be perceived this way because you often get groups of people who all know each other and as a newbie or someone who only goes here and there it can feel difficult to interact as you might want. Often, these groups are regulars who are comfortable there and have got to know each other. The difference to England is that they have many clubs and will get varied folk all the time, whereas here we don't have many clubs and so it's the same folk a lot of the time going and this leads to familiarity. Everyone is new at some point. | |||
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