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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fugy, son of Fugy, loved tractors. He used to tell all of his friends down at the pond, and anyone else who listened, that motorbikes were good, no one knew that tractor's were his mechanical love.
His bedroom at his home was a shrine to tractors. Posters and crads on the walls. Toy tractors on the shelves, all still in their boxes and bookshelves with nothing but tractor books on them. He even had tractor pictures on his duvet cover!!
On his birthdays, he used to dress in his red velvet dungarees (the pantaloons were for best), yellow gingham shirt and pointy hat. Then he's sit in his John Deere tonka toy and pretend to be ploughing the fields.
On his 17th birthday the local tractor plant invited him to visit the factory. The had designed a brand new tractor. As a birthdsay gift, they asked Fugy if he would test drive it for them. He would be the first person to ever drive this model.
On the morning of the visit, Fugy was up as soon as the sun began to rise. He pulled on his red velvet pantaloons, went to the garden shed and got out his step ladders. He went next door. He knew that JandS lived there. He put his ladders up against the bedroom window. Climbed up and then licked the window clean before going home for breakfast.
Fugy arrived at the factory and was taken for a tour of the facility. He was so excited he could hardly contain himself. The time came for the test drive. Fugy was given the key to the tractor. He climbed up into the cab, started the engine and then set off.
Everything was going so well. But just as the test drive was coming to an end, Fugy tipped the tractor, rolling it over onto it's roof.
From that day, Fugy hated tractors. He ripped down all his posters, burned his bedding, threw away all his books and chucked his toy tractors into the garden pond!!
Some years later, Fugy was in one of Arbroath's more salubrious fish smokers down by the harbour. He saw a good looking philippino fisherman sat all by himself in the corner. Fugy straightened his polka dot bow tie and went and sat by the man.
Fugy noticed that the mans eyes were red, puffy and watery. he asked what was wrong. The Philippino explained that the smoke affected his eyes.
Fugy stood up, exhaled, then drew in a deep breath. He sucked up all the smoke that was in the smokehouse. He walked outside into the open air and exhaled again, blowing all the smoke into the sky.
He went back into the bar. The grateful fisherman got down onto his knees. As he unzipped Fugy, getting ready to show his gratitude, he looked up and said, "Wow, that was amazing. How did you do it?"
Fugy answered as the little oriental looking fellow began to sook,
"It was easy......I'm an EX TRACTOR FAN"...............
Boom boom  |
