FabSwingers.com forum: Please don't judge me

By *onkeymagic50 OP Man
48 weeks ago

Near the harbour

So basically my confidence is shot. No had sex in 6 years and I'm still a guy who would like sex just don't think is fair or the place to boost my confidence again. So looking if anyone has experience of hiring a lady for the evening.(can't type proper name of the make of ford car) Someone who won't laugh if I last 30 seconds due to nerves and someone who will. For just one hour make me feel confident about myself. Again please don't judge. Apart from this aspect of my life I'm a confident outgoing likable sort of chap so just after some unbiased sensible advice please

Cheers. Gas

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By *inglelady2022Woman
48 weeks ago

inverness

I think you need to find confidence within yourself and not loom to others to boost it. Have you considered therapy to get to the root of your issues? I think that paying for the service you mentioned may make you feel even worse.

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By *wistedandBonnyCouple
48 weeks ago

Glasgow

Hi Gas - there’s several websites out there that SWs use to advertise services. Naming them would go against the ToS of the site. But as someone who regularly works with SWs I hear second hand stories of men who lost wives, through to guys who miss affection and more. Your story isn’t unusual or unique.

If going down that route is what you feel is best, you do you. But I think you’ll find most women in the line of work more understanding and sympathetic than you think.

Though the above post makes a good point regarding therapy. I’d suggest going private if you can afford it though as wait times presently for NHS is ridiculous in most areas.

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By (user no longer on site)
48 weeks ago

Get some confidence in yourself, look to get a partner on a dating site. Chat, socialise don’t go down the route of paying for sex. Doing this could really dent your confidence, if your paying a sex worker they could tell you anything to make you feel better but the are just wanting to take your money. F/book dating is a good place for dating.

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By *ellinever70Woman
48 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Ask yourself if you would really feel good about yourself in the aftermath

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By *adbury girlWoman
48 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

"Get some confidence in yourself, look to get a partner on a dating site. Chat, socialise don’t go down the route of paying for sex. Doing this could really dent your confidence, if your paying a sex worker they could tell you anything to make you feel better but the are just wanting to take your money. F/book dating is a good place for dating. "

I understand your point however as someone who is about to get a long service award from dating sites

I would say do not go near dating sites if you lack confidence. You really need to be confident within yourself to use dating sites as they are not as friendly as you might think.

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By *rs grumpyWoman
48 weeks ago

motherwell

Whilst I can appreciate your frustration, I always find the "not fair" attitude rather entitled and juvenile. No one is entitled to sex, it's not a human right no matter how amazing it feels and how it can positively impact on our mental wellbeing.

The idea of paying for access to a person's body has never sat comfortably with me but I know I'm probably in the minority on that one.

Hoping you meet a willing partner to tick all your boxes OP.

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By *ringles0510Woman
48 weeks ago

Central Borders

The people on this site can destroy your confidence, so don't feel you're alone in this. Maybe not use it as looking for sex, because that'll be a guaranteed disappointment. If you are confident and outgoing in other aspects of your life, why not get yourself to the clubs or so ial gatherings and meet people in real life instead of the online thing. I find they're a welcome break away as well and met some awesome people that way.

The ford services are not too bad, as long as you're aware they will be out the door when your time is up, so that might get you on a downer again. The ones I met are actually really nice though, so if you're ok with just an hour or 2 and then be on your own again, there's nothing wrong with that x

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By *ringles0510Woman
48 weeks ago

Central Borders

"The people on this site can destroy your confidence, so don't feel you're alone in this. Maybe not use it as looking for sex, because that'll be a guaranteed disappointment. If you are confident and outgoing in other aspects of your life, why not get yourself to the clubs or so ial gatherings and meet people in real life instead of the online thing. I find they're a welcome break away as well and met some awesome people that way.

*social gatherings

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By *ringles0510Woman
48 weeks ago

Central Borders

I never used the services, but know some people in that line of business. Might have come across as if I'm a regular, but I'm not

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By (user no longer on site)
48 weeks ago

I understand your point however as someone who is about to get a long service award from dating sites

I would say do not go near dating sites if you lack confidence. You really need to be confident within yourself to use dating sites as they are not as friendly as you might think."

I get your point but the op says he is confident and outgoing. It’s easy to just chat and take it from there. I have had good experiences on the specific site o mentioned. I have had some strange ones but I’m sure these woman would say the same about me. Lots of people on fab are on dating sites.

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By (user no longer on site)
48 weeks ago

"So basically my confidence is shot. No had sex in 6 years and I'm still a guy who would like sex just don't think is fair or the place to boost my confidence again. So looking if anyone has experience of hiring a lady for the evening.(can't type proper name of the make of ford car) Someone who won't laugh if I last 30 seconds due to nerves and someone who will. For just one hour make me feel confident about myself. Again please don't judge. Apart from this aspect of my life I'm a confident outgoing likable sort of chap so just after some unbiased sensible advice please

Cheers. Gas "

I don’t think this is something I could say I understand or ‘know how difficult it must me’ as I don’t. (I refused the urge to say know how hard it must be..)

But I honestly don’t think the answer lies with a sex worker buddy. I think that things may be deeper than that as there will be other issues being hidden by the lack of sexual activity. I could only imagine that you will be missing the affection, human touch and emotional interaction to name a few. Also, the mental health struggles too that can’t be overlooked!

Could you possibly consider a therapist just to offload (verbally) to and get your mind into the right place where the nerves and such wouldn’t be a barrier when the sexual activity happens?

Also, if you ever just need a chat, there are loads of us that would happily get you a beer. Keep the chin up

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