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Confidence/trust shattered

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have debated posting this but decided to post anyway hoping I'll get some good advice.

After a particularly bad meet I have been left very wary of future meets on my own. I will say I wasn't physically harmed, although came pretty close and was left shaken and now frightened to meet new people on my own.

I'm not looking for advice on how to deal with what happened, that's been taken care of. What I'm asking is how do you get over that? Do you get over it? I was having fun, met a few lovely people and chatted to more I haven't met but now I just can't see myself being comfortable to meet alone

L xx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"I have debated posting this but decided to post anyway hoping I'll get some good advice.

After a particularly bad meet I have been left very wary of future meets on my own. I will say I wasn't physically harmed, although came pretty close and was left shaken and now frightened to meet new people on my own.

I'm not looking for advice on how to deal with what happened, that's been taken care of. What I'm asking is how do you get over that? Do you get over it? I was having fun, met a few lovely people and chatted to more I haven't met but now I just can't see myself being comfortable to meet alone

L xx"
Im sorry you've had a bad experiance but a little comfused when you say you cant see yourslf being comfotrable meeting alone again but your most recent verification was as recent as ysterday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it's the short notice meets giving you a problem ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It happened after that meet with couple on last verification. Also should make it clear didn't happen with somebody who just randomly messaged me and they did have verification.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Sorry you've had a bad expierience possibly should look for a friend on fab to meet you before a meet stay with you at first then leave once you feel comfortable with date , ready to return if needed via a text or phone message x

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"It happened after that meet with couple on last verification. Also should make it clear didn't happen with somebody who just randomly messaged me and they did have verification. "
not sure if i read this right but the scare happend with the couple on your last verification ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It happened after that meet with couple on last verification. Also should make it clear didn't happen with somebody who just randomly messaged me and they did have verification. not sure if i read this right but the scare happend with the couple on your last verification ?"

No no no!!! It happened with somebody else. Said couple in last verification did not cause the scare!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Really could have worded that better to make it clearer. It happened with somebody else.

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By *uttyMan
over a year ago

Local to you maybe

I always make sure someone knows where I am or if someone is coming to mine, slip off to kitchen or bathroom to txt/call to say everything's good or if things aren't good.

It helps to let someone know, just to make sure you're safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that, as a single female, it is always a concern although I have not had any problems with any meets I have had...but perhaps a safety net is a good idea, ie get a friend to text during meet to make sure all is ok.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"It happened after that meet with couple on last verification. Also should make it clear didn't happen with somebody who just randomly messaged me and they did have verification. not sure if i read this right but the scare happend with the couple on your last verification ?

No no no!!! It happened with somebody else. Said couple in last verification did not cause the scare!"
Ok it confused me a little lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guessing you could have that type of experience in any walk of life. Sorry to hear it happened just the same but really can you ever be sure? A mate texting is okay so far as it goes but Im not sure how that is any protection?

Put it down to experience and leave it at that don;t ruminate over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would maybe consider a short break, then when you feel you are ready to play again go to the likes of CJ's chat to the people there see if you feel comfortable with them and then organise a meet for a later date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would maybe consider a short break, then when you feel you are ready to play again go to the likes of CJ's chat to the people there see if you feel comfortable with them and then organise a meet for a later date."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would maybe consider a short break, then when you feel you are ready to play again go to the likes of CJ's chat to the people there see if you feel comfortable with them and then organise a meet for a later date."

I was thinking that. I think somewhere like CJ's is best place to start playing alone. I'm very aware what happened could have happened if I had just picked this person up on a night out etc...

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"I would maybe consider a short break, then when you feel you are ready to play again go to the likes of CJ's chat to the people there see if you feel comfortable with them and then organise a meet for a later date.

I was thinking that. I think somewhere like CJ's is best place to start playing alone. I'm very aware what happened could have happened if I had just picked this person up on a night out etc..."
Have you reported them on here ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah like I said all been dealt with and hopefully won't be back on here in a hurry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your safety is paramount, any safe guards you can put into place then do it. As for getting back into it take it at you own pace etc. Good Luck

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By *ussman1Man
over a year ago

Paisley

Think earlier suggestion is good re having a friend present at initial meeting,he,she ensures everything is ok and slips away.Friend would preferable a member of fab.This would apply wherever meeting takes place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience.

As a single guy I tend to forget that there are single women on FAB who have to be a lot more careful with who/where they meet. It's not to say that us single guys don't meet the odd nutter as well, we occasionally do, but it's much easier for us to deal with I guess.

Anyway, there are still loads of nice guys out there, so don't give up. x

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I made an arrangement with a friend when I was going to the home of a new meet. We arranged that I would reply with an odd number in the message so that he knew that it was me texting.

Just something you may want to consider as anyone could text back and say 'fine'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safe calls/texts are always a good idea when meeting someone new in a private setting and that goes every bit as much for men as for ladies.

That said, there's really no substitute for meeting someone socially in public first - not a guarantee and not a replacement for a safe call but it does help out obvious nutters.

Sorry the original poster had a bad experience, thankfully most of the people on here seem pretty decent.

Have fun & take care

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Totally agree with Rabbit and Switch!

Just as scary for guys to meet at someone's home... Do we ever know who we are really meeting?

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Meeting anyone is always a risk. If you meet at someone's house for the first time it can be quite daunting. However, meeting someone for coffee/drink first in a public place is a good idea

As far as the OP is concerned, I'm sorry to hear you've had a really bad time of it. I agree, maybe go with someone you already know to a group setting like CJs sounds like a good idea. A least you have a safety net and if you feel uncomfortable you can leave. Good luck and hope you get your confidence back

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk


"Totally agree with Rabbit and Switch!

Just as scary for guys to meet at someone's home... Do we ever know who we are really meeting? "

I'd know it was you,from the crutches

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

Really sorry to hear of your bad experience,it's despicable that people like that feel they can do such things & get away with it,hopefully in time you will find some way to put it behind you & feel at ease once more to enjoy yourself,dont let this experience deprive you of the simple joys of life x

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