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Fugy Finally Gets His Dog

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Fugy, Son of Fugy decided it was time to get his own dog. His next door neighbours had started to notice that Rover, their Rhodesian Ridgeback had been staying out all night with Fugy.

He decided that the dog's home would be the place to go. Unfortunately he had been banned from nearly all of them, and had to travel to Truro, where they didn't know him yet.

He got dressed up in his favourite red velvet pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and red pointy hat. He wanted to make a good first impression on his new love .... errr... dog, so he also put on a polka dot bow tie. This made him look like a minature Robin Day at a fancy dress party.

He got into his little red and yellow convertible, waved goodbye to Big Ears and wished him a good days fishing at the garden pond. He set off for the long drive ahead.

Eventually he arrived at the Truro Dog's Home. After taking his time to look around at all the dogs, he settled on a young english cocker spaniel. Every time the Warden said cocker...fugy giggled.

Fugy, being the kind of gnome that he is, decided to call his new pet "Sex".

Now, over time, Fugy began to regret this name. Sex had been very embarrassing to him.

When he went to the Angus Council Office to see about a dog license (he didn't know they were no longer needed) he told the clerk that he would like to have a license for Sex.

The clerk looked at him and said "I'd like to have one too."

Fugy replied in an exasperated tone , "but this is a dog."

The clerk said he didn't care what she looked like.

Fugy was starting to get irritated, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since yesterday."

The clerk told him it had been months since he'd had sex!

Fugy took Big Ears for a dirty weekend in Blackpool. He took the dog with him. He told the receptionist that he wanted a room for Big Ears and himself, and a special room for Sex.

The recetionist said that every room in the place was for sex.

Fugy patiently explained, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The receptionist said that it kept her awake at night too.

The following month, Fugy entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked him why he was just standing there, looking around. He told her that he had planned to have Sex in the contest. The other contestant just tutted and stormed off!

It was not long before the police arrived, Sargeant View and Constable Toon (he had been demoted after an unfortunate incident with the Chief Constable's nephew in the park toilets) carted poor Fugy off. All the time he was screaming "I need sex!!!"

He didn't see the glint in the eyes of the two policeman as they cuffed him and put him into the van.......poor Fugy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol stu lol

class !

all false of course but if it helps wi yer loss then carry on !!!

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By *roopyMan
over a year ago

East Kilbride


"Fugy, Son of Fugy decided it was time to get his own dog. His next door neighbours had started to notice that Rover, their Rhodesian Ridgeback had been staying out all night with Fugy.

He decided that the dog's home would be the place to go. Unfortunately he had been banned from nearly all of them, and had to travel to Truro, where they didn't know him yet.

He got dressed up in his favourite red velvet pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and red pointy hat. He wanted to make a good first impression on his new love .... errr... dog, so he also put on a polka dot bow tie. This made him look like a minature Robin Day at a fancy dress party.

He got into his little red and yellow convertible, waved goodbye to Big Ears and wished him a good days fishing at the garden pond. He set off for the long drive ahead.

Eventually he arrived at the Truro Dog's Home. After taking his time to look around at all the dogs, he settled on a young english cocker spaniel. Every time the Warden said cocker...fugy giggled.

Fugy, being the kind of gnome that he is, decided to call his new pet "Sex".

Now, over time, Fugy began to regret this name. Sex had been very embarrassing to him.

When he went to the Angus Council Office to see about a dog license (he didn't know they were no longer needed) he told the clerk that he would like to have a license for Sex.

The clerk looked at him and said "I'd like to have one too."

Fugy replied in an exasperated tone , "but this is a dog."

The clerk said he didn't care what she looked like.

Fugy was starting to get irritated, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since yesterday."

The clerk told him it had been months since he'd had sex!

Fugy took Big Ears for a dirty weekend in Blackpool. He took the dog with him. He told the receptionist that he wanted a room for Big Ears and himself, and a special room for Sex.

The recetionist said that every room in the place was for sex.

Fugy patiently explained, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The receptionist said that it kept her awake at night too.

The following month, Fugy entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked him why he was just standing there, looking around. He told her that he had planned to have Sex in the contest. The other contestant just tutted and stormed off!

It was not long before the police arrived, Sargeant View and Constable Toon (he had been demoted after an unfortunate incident with the Chief Constable's nephew in the park toilets) carted poor Fugy off. All the time he was screaming "I need sex!!!"

He didn't see the glint in the eyes of the two policeman as they cuffed him and put him into the van.......poor Fugy

"

Just to make folk smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/12 14:47:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I showed this article to my Ridge Back and told him, if he didnt behave he was going to fugys.. The Maggie Murphys of the dog world lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking of the happy pantaloon wanderer - is he still on fab - no heard or seen him for months.

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

fugy i couldny stop laughing WOOF WOOF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

holy thread resurrection _roopy!!!!

ta _eather!!ta debs !!! !im just a mere vehicle for stus literiry genius!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

still here cara and still haverin the usual pish!

always in the fab chat room daytimes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and still a gay rump ranger tae ya pish dripping gay bike riding dug humpin horses hoof lol

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By *olly Gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

Glenrothes


"and still a gay rump ranger tae ya pish dripping gay bike riding dug humpin horses hoof lol "
the man doth slag too much me think. A closet boaby liker per chance. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"holy thread resurrection _roopy!!!!

ta _eather!!ta debs !!! !im just a mere vehicle for stus literiry genius!!!"

Teheee xx you crack me up Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ask fugy yourself tease he'll gladly admit I wasn't lying lol

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

fuggers what would we do with out u ya mad pumper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ask fugy yourself tease he'll gladly admit I wasn't lying lol "

x theres a rumour also about sheep lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to burst your bubble but that aint no rumour lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sorry to burst your bubble but that aint no rumour lol "

Lol, Please post the next instalment of Fugys adventures xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oi ya coonts!!! ( cept _eather and debs)!!!

am still here ye know!

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales

Memories ...... Memories

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep...

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales


"This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep... "

This was back in the old days while he was still perfecting his “flirting” techniques and experimenting with his sexuality ......... he even let me handle his ..... errrrrrrr......... tea cups

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep...

This was back in the old days while he was still perfecting his “flirting” techniques and experimenting with his sexuality ......... he even let me handle his ..... errrrrrrr......... tea cups "

I'm shocked... next you'll be telling me Droo didn't wear the dress after all

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales


"This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep...

This was back in the old days while he was still perfecting his “flirting” techniques and experimenting with his sexuality ......... he even let me handle his ..... errrrrrrr......... tea cups

I'm shocked... next you'll be telling me Droo didn't wear the dress after all "

Only when he was lurking down near the docks trying to lure the unsuspecting returning oil workers down the back alleys ......... is where he met fugy........ oh! Did I think that last bit out loud????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep...

This was back in the old days while he was still perfecting his “flirting” techniques and experimenting with his sexuality ......... he even let me handle his ..... errrrrrrr......... tea cups

I'm shocked... next you'll be telling me Droo didn't wear the dress after all

Only when he was lurking down near the docks trying to lure the unsuspecting returning oil workers down the back alleys ......... is where he met fugy........ oh! Did I think that last bit out loud???? "

Unsuspecting you say... I heard they were lurking provocatively... in bellbottom suspenders...

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales


"This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep...

This was back in the old days while he was still perfecting his “flirting” techniques and experimenting with his sexuality ......... he even let me handle his ..... errrrrrrr......... tea cups

I'm shocked... next you'll be telling me Droo didn't wear the dress after all

Only when he was lurking down near the docks trying to lure the unsuspecting returning oil workers down the back alleys ......... is where he met fugy........ oh! Did I think that last bit out loud????

Unsuspecting you say... I heard they were lurking provocatively... in bellbottom suspenders... "

It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one keeping that secret

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep...

This was back in the old days while he was still perfecting his “flirting” techniques and experimenting with his sexuality ......... he even let me handle his ..... errrrrrrr......... tea cups

I'm shocked... next you'll be telling me Droo didn't wear the dress after all

Only when he was lurking down near the docks trying to lure the unsuspecting returning oil workers down the back alleys ......... is where he met fugy........ oh! Did I think that last bit out loud????

Unsuspecting you say... I heard they were lurking provocatively... in bellbottom suspenders...

It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one keeping that secret "

(psst this IS an open forum... just saying... )

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales


"This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep...

This was back in the old days while he was still perfecting his “flirting” techniques and experimenting with his sexuality ......... he even let me handle his ..... errrrrrrr......... tea cups

I'm shocked... next you'll be telling me Droo didn't wear the dress after all

Only when he was lurking down near the docks trying to lure the unsuspecting returning oil workers down the back alleys ......... is where he met fugy........ oh! Did I think that last bit out loud????

Unsuspecting you say... I heard they were lurking provocatively... in bellbottom suspenders...

It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one keeping that secret

(psst this IS an open forum... just saying... )"

now you tell me!!!!!!!! Thought this was a confessional

Hope no one reads this and finds out what fugy really gets up to in his spare time........... would hate to think I had ruined his reputation

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By *quirtiliscious1Woman
over a year ago

Dundee

Welcome back Bassy the forums have been a full place without you xxxxx

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By *quirtiliscious1Woman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Welcome back Bassy the forums have been a full place without you xxxxx"

DULL*

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales

Always good to be back and relentlessly harassing dear old fuggers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This can't be right... not a single mention of chloroform OR sheep...

This was back in the old days while he was still perfecting his “flirting” techniques and experimenting with his sexuality ......... he even let me handle his ..... errrrrrrr......... tea cups

I'm shocked... next you'll be telling me Droo didn't wear the dress after all

Only when he was lurking down near the docks trying to lure the unsuspecting returning oil workers down the back alleys ......... is where he met fugy........ oh! Did I think that last bit out loud????

Unsuspecting you say... I heard they were lurking provocatively... in bellbottom suspenders...

It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one keeping that secret

(psst this IS an open forum... just saying... )

now you tell me!!!!!!!! Thought this was a confessional

Hope no one reads this and finds out what fugy really gets up to in his spare time........... would hate to think I had ruined his reputation "

Not possible...

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