FabSwingers.com forum: Married men

By (user no longer on site) OP
47 weeks ago

Keen to hear the female perspective on married men on Fab. My experience has been one thing or the other: either thumbs-up ambivalence or eye-popping moral outrage.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

From my eyes, which as a single guy myself won’t be of too much value, I’m on the fence with it.

I think there’s a larger acceptance of married women on here without the husbands knowledge than there is of married men but I also think that goes hand in hand with the attitude of the men on here towards women. I’ve seen married guys do well and be popular here when they are upfront and honest about their situation whilst treating others with respect. I’ve also seen the ones that come on to speak to others like shite be thrown to the wolves which is fair enough in my opinion.

I think we are all, single or not, entitled to our private lives. We are all adults and make our own decisions regardless if they are moral or not.

The one thing I can’t stand and will always call out is high horse behaviour from those that are on without the knowledge of their significant other. Do not judge others when you are not innocent yourselves

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By *ord500Man
47 weeks ago

Glasgow

Any mature playful women like to play with two guys?

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By *mbergirl1984Woman
47 weeks ago

glasgow

I have a bit of a thing about it, I don’t like it - I don’t know why, I think it’s because I have had so many chats or more with guys who don’t say they are in a relationship or married or whatever until either the last minute before a meet, or the meet has happened and it’s too late.

I understand people have stuff, I was married myself and it was pish. But I personally would rather not involve myself in whatever situation they were in that brought them to fab, and if I did I would rather it was because they had been honest and upfront from there and I decided I was ok with it. Too many guys tell porkies to get what they want! (I’m sure women are the same!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
47 weeks ago

thanks for this. Yes, a lot of women do the same. But I hear what you say.

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By *hrisukbishareCouple
47 weeks ago

Edinburgh

We aim to only meet bi couples. If we choose to meet a bi guy sometime then we need to feel sure that his partner, if married, is aware of his openness and play. Some connection with phone number will happen to ensure contact is real and the openness is honest.

If we are at a club and begin play then that is a grey area really - but it wouldn't lead to a date unless honesty and openness is there.

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By *agnar73Man
47 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"From my eyes, which as a single guy myself won’t be of too much value, I’m on the fence with it.

I think we are all, single or not, entitled to our private lives. We are all adults and make our own decisions regardless if they are moral or not.

I dunno, there’s enough flymos already trying to cut that single piece of grass without folk that are cheating pulling the cord on their two stroke sit on lawnmower.

It is what it is, but frustrating from my viewpoint as I’m single and I’m not going back to anyone after a meet.

Who knows though?

I might not like it, but I can’t judge them as it seems there’s a lot of marriages and long term relationships, that are hanging together for kids or financial or family reasons and there’s other factors in our society and lifestyles that make this a thing on dating and sites like this.

No slight intended on couples or people that have agreed non monogamous relationships or whatever.

Its the cheating aspect where other partner oblivious that gets me.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Keen to hear the female perspective on married men on Fab. My experience has been one thing or the other: either thumbs-up ambivalence or eye-popping moral outrage."

Yeah there are many of both sexes who cheat on here.

Personally I don't like it and never intend to meet anyone who is married and on here without her partners knowledge. But that's the long and short of it for me.

If you, (as in anyone), want to meet a married man or women then that's up to you and good luck but any hassle that comes from it, you only have yourself to blame.

Personally, I think if your married and you say it on your profile that you are on without partners knowledge, you will find people who find this exciting and want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Personally, I think if your married and you say it on your profile that you are on without partners knowledge, you will find people who find this exciting and want to meet. "

The big chap is spot on with this, people will find thrills in everything as we all like different things.

I’ve always found the Hotwife role really sexy, borrowing (if that’s acceptable to word as such) another man’s wife then knowing she heads back to be reclaimed is really hot.

So I guess that’s very similar to those who enjoy being with someone who’s married and playing on the sly.

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By *mbergirl1984Woman
47 weeks ago

glasgow

I think there’s a big difference between someone who sends their misses off to you and someone who has no idea that’s what’s happening though?

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By *ittleMizzNaughty88.Woman
47 weeks ago

Renfrewshire

I joined here around 12 years ago as a married woman. Without husband's knowledge.

I'm now single but I never took or take moral high ground everyone has a reason whether it's right or wrong to people.

The one thing I always ask is for to be open & honest from the start.

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By *ibliosWoman
47 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I think there's two different things there.

I'd be surprised if many people on a swingers site take exception to someone being married or in a committed relationship - despite so many singles on here (myself included) that's kind of what swinging *is*.

What people tend to have a problem with (again, myself included) is the lying and cheating side of it. Firstly, I don't want to be complicit in the sort of hurt that could cause another person, and I wouldn't want it done to me if roles were reversed. Second, and more, selfishly, if someone's prepared to lie to someone they purport to care about for the sake of a shag, how am I supposed to believe anything they tell *me*? (Including the "woe is me, my wife has no sex drive any more / trapped in a loveless marriage" schtick - for all I know she has good reason!!!)

Lastly, I don't really want my sexy fun times to be dependent on whether or not someone can sneak away or not - it can be tricky enough working around friends, family and other commitments without adding a whole other layer of complications into it!

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"I think there’s a big difference between someone who sends their misses off to you and someone who has no idea that’s what’s happening though?"

Absolutely, I’m just saying I can see why others would see the attraction

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By *lam granWoman
47 weeks ago

falkirk

I hate generalisations and yet that's exactly what I'm about to do.

In my experience I've found married men (and probably women too if we're honest) can be divided into 2 camps.

There are those who are always going to fuck about. They love the chase, the flirting and the confidence boost in having all of that reciprocated. They'll have been like this as younger, single men/women and it carried on into any "committed" relationship they had. That's just how they're wired.

The other type are guys/women who would otherwise stay faithful but they've found themselves unhappy in a relationship because one or both parties have stopped making an effort for any number of reasons. They're not proud of the fact they're fucking about but they have a pulse, have desires and find Fab or other sites and use them to cope with what is anotherwise pretty humdrum life.

I used to be judgmental but I'm not now. It's up to other people how they live their lives.

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By *lam granWoman
47 weeks ago

falkirk

"Keen to hear the female perspective on married men on Fab. My experience has been one thing or the other: either thumbs-up ambivalence or eye-popping moral outrage.

Yeah there are many of both sexes who cheat on here.

Personally I don't like it and never intend to meet anyone who is married and on here without her partners knowledge. But that's the long and short of it for me.

If you, (as in anyone), want to meet a married man or women then that's up to you and good luck but any hassle that comes from it, you only have yourself to blame.

Personally, I think if your married and you say it on your profile that you are on without partners knowledge, you will find people who find this exciting and want to meet. "

There was a woman on here a while back who stated in her profile that she got off on being a guy's "dirty little secret".

I'll happily be judgemental about that. Fucks me off no end when the prospect of someone else's heartache makes you wet. Special place in hell for you, ya boot!

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Don’t mean to be that guy but I couldn’t let this go without being highlighted….

" used to be judgmental but I'm not now. It's up to other people how they live their lives."

"I'll happily be judgemental about that. Fucks me off no end when the prospect of someone else's heartache makes you wet. Special place in hell for you, ya boot!"

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By *lam granWoman
47 weeks ago

falkirk

"Don’t mean to be that guy but I couldn’t let this go without being highlighted….

used to be judgmental but I'm not now. It's up to other people how they live their lives.

I'll happily be judgemental about that. Fucks me off no end when the prospect of someone else's heartache makes you wet. Special place in hell for you, ya boot! "

I know. Well aware of the irony in what I said. That's why I said "happily be judgemental" ..in that one instance I am. If you derive pleasure from an innocent party's misery, you are a cunt.

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By *hyme2020Woman
47 weeks ago

Glasgow Scotland

I agree with a lot of what’s been said on this thread.

As a single woman, who was married and bored for a long time, but never cheated, I can see why people do sometimes.

As a single woman on here I chose to not get involved knowingly with attached men. A few reasons for that. I don’t want to be the other woman who causes someone else hurt, and I know that’s already been said. I’m also protecting myself as men who are attached seem to often have issues where last minute they can’t get away or whatever and then I would be left alone like an idiot. I’m protecting my feelings here.

People have different reasons for sneaking about on here and behind their partners back, and that’s up to them. Many are honest and that’s fine, still not for me.

It’s hard enough to find single men who are reliable and trustworthy let alone attached ones

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By *mbergirl1984Woman
47 weeks ago

glasgow

You’ve pretty much summed up my thoughts in a better way than I did!

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Do all the women on here know that I'm a 6ft 1 guy and truly single...

Yeah married n playing alone, nope, not for me

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Do all the women on here know that I'm a 6ft 1 guy and truly single...

Yeah married n playing alone, nope, not for me "

You bloody 6 footers. You don’t need that extra 1 inch! Pure greed,

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Do all the women on here know that I'm a 6ft 1 guy and truly single...

Yeah married n playing alone, nope, not for me

You bloody 6 footers. You don’t need that extra 1 inch! Pure greed,

It was starting on us all against the 'married but partner not knwoing' so couldn't help but be lighthearted and it slipped out

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By *hyme2020Woman
47 weeks ago

Glasgow Scotland

"Do all the women on here know that I'm a 6ft 1 guy and truly single...

Yeah married n playing alone, nope, not for me

You bloody 6 footers. You don’t need that extra 1 inch! Pure greed,

It was starting on us all against the 'married but partner not knwoing' so couldn't help but be lighthearted and it slipped out

Well slip it back in your pants for heavens sake. There are ladies present

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By *ustaman85Man
47 weeks ago

here and there

"From my eyes, which as a single guy myself won’t be of too much value, I’m on the fence with it.

I think we are all, single or not, entitled to our private lives. We are all adults and make our own decisions regardless if they are moral or not.

well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
46 weeks ago

'ya boot' made me laugh

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By *elsbells2011Couple
46 weeks ago

fife

For us we couldn’t care less if someone is married or not, It’s good if someone is upfront but wouldn’t put us off at all as it’s none of our business anyone else’s situation. As long as they can deliver what they promise then we are happy to meet. Where it does become an issue is when people lie and try to pretend they are single and promise what they can’t deliver. Fab isn’t real life and as long as we get what we want / need then people’s personal situations are up to them

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By *arroness NikkiWoman
46 weeks ago

Glasgow

I could not care less. It’s none of my business

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By *amierebelMan
46 weeks ago

nae danger.

I can't even really say to much as when I first joined here I wasn't single and cheated myself for the first time in my life. I will say I already knew I was being cheated on (not that it excuses what I done) I cheated and ill own that, I legit felt guilty as fuck and dirty after getting my end away though don't know if that's normal when you cheated or what but yeah don't think I could ever cheat again wether they was cheating on me or not best just to end things once you know shit

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By *amierebelMan
46 weeks ago

nae danger.

Don't even know why I shared my story there but I have now

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By *amierebelMan
46 weeks ago

nae danger.

Just wanted to add to this I made everyone I spoke to on here at that time aware of my situation and person I met knew.

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By *eatheryMan
46 weeks ago

Cupar

My experience of the crossdressing community is that it would be unusual if the partner didn’t know. Not only that, but many of us meet with tacit approval. My own circumstance is that my wife has seen my Fab profile and is happy for me to get my kicks meeting like-minded people as long as she never catches me dressed. We have been able to separate sex from a healthy loving relationship and that seems to be quite common. I would never meet ‘straight’ because that’s not what I am looking for. Similarly, I am quite happy to meet for a social, because there are so many pleasant people that use this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I honestly don't get why others get offended on others behalfs.. if it doesn't affect me it's none of my buisness , everyone has the right to make their own choices however we agree or disagree is irrelevant as it doesn't concern us . We have a choice as to whether we engage in it or pass on it .. I'm no ones moral conscience nor would I want to be , everyone has reasons for the choices they make but it is their choice .

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By *ide em cowgirlWoman
46 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I would say for me personally married men where the wife is clueless is a solid nope from me. Part of the swinger life style that appeals to me is the openness and honesty that a lot of people have here and that kinda goes against that. Also I’m not a fan of sneaking around and being discrete lmao.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I would say for me personally married men where the wife is clueless is a solid nope from me. Part of the swinger life style that appeals to me is the openness and honesty that a lot of people have here and that kinda goes against that. Also I’m not a fan of sneaking around and being discrete lmao. "
what if it’s ok

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Swinging world is an exciting world, makes you, excited, nervous, exhilarated, open yourself up, experimental, mind blowing

but for me,

Married people playing without their partners knowledge is something that is a NO NO for me but as I said above, if others do choose to partake then that's up to them, they just have to deal with what happens if the shit hits the fan

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By *ide em cowgirlWoman
46 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Well then that’s game on. But most “married men” on here advertise themselves as that meaning their wife is unaware through my experience on here. Married couples that are both on here or excepting of each others choices on here are totally welcome lol otherwise it would be a bit boring in here huh and not really swinging.

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By *rions FeltCouple
46 weeks ago

SUB -Urbia

"For us we couldn’t care less if someone is married or not, It’s good if someone is upfront but wouldn’t put us off at all as it’s none of our business anyone else’s situation. As long as they can deliver what they promise then we are happy to meet. Where it does become an issue is when people lie and try to pretend they are single and promise what they can’t deliver. Fab isn’t real life and as long as we get what we want / need then people’s personal situations are up to them"

This exactly

Let’s face it, the vast vast majority of times you meet anyone on here it’s a case of good, bad or indifference and both parties move on.

We don’t give a hoot whether anyone is cheating because it’s a swinging site where adults allegedly seek brief connections with strangers and then we all move on.

People read far too much into things and just need to let themselves go

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By *aughtyAsian4funMan
46 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I find myself in the second camp sadly. Rightly said though. I don’t judge others and don’t feel that others should be judging me. The fact that it’s difficult enough at home you find that fab is a kid of have of making friends and having a bit of fun is a bonus.

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By *ekked JackMan
46 weeks ago

South Lanarkshire

"From my eyes, which as a single guy myself won’t be of too much value, I’m on the fence with it.

I think we are all, single or not, entitled to our private lives. We are all adults and make our own decisions regardless if they are moral or not.

Just a wee question. Don you also call out the high horse behaviour of those who say they won't meet those that are on here without the knowledge of their significant other yet actually do meet people like that?

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By *lasgow_mMan
46 weeks ago

glasgow

Yes, I'm with this, honesty with the person you are wanting to go with is important, especially if they ask the question!

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I can honestly say I felt really proud to be a guy who had never cheated during my marriage and before marriage in fact I had only ever been with my wife. She passed away about 2 years ago and I found out after her death she had been cheating with a woman friend for previous 5 years. I had been working away offshore and when I was away they had lead a loving relationship in my house at my cost. Cheating isn’t a nice thing and when it happens especially if you think everything is great it fucks your head up big time.

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By *lam granWoman
46 weeks ago

falkirk

"I can honestly say I felt really proud to be a guy who had never cheated during my marriage and before marriage in fact I had only ever been with my wife. She passed away about 2 years ago and I found out after her death she had been cheating with a woman friend for previous 5 years. I had been working away offshore and when I was away they had lead a loving relationship in my house at my cost. Cheating isn’t a nice thing and when it happens especially if you think everything is great it fucks your head up big time. "

That must have been devastating. Total head fuck as you say.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

That must have been devastating. Total head fuck as you say."

Yes a bit just need to move on, can’t change the past. I can’t say I was maybe perfect and I’m definitely not just now.

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By *eiaorganaWoman
46 weeks ago

Dundee

If a guy is not upfront and honest about being attached, I'm not interested. I'm not a cum dump for someone before they rush home for their tea, if they can't commit to decent length meets then don't bother me. They think we can't tell, we can.

It's also annoying when someone has to stop mid moment to answer a call from their wife.

I also hate anyone who talks shit about their partner, they can get in the bin.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I get shafted by them, ghosted, lied to... Unsurprisingly they are also shafting their wives so why treat any other woman differently? I avoid at all costs now. There are some who seem lovely to chat to, but I don’t have it in me to get involved anymore. It’s rough… no judgement from me, they are just not for me

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By *wiftieeMan
46 weeks ago

near Glasgow

Over the years, had loads of fun, including with married ladies.

A married man and married women are often meeting for the same reasons, so totally acceptable from both sides. Though the important thing, is to be totally honest about it.

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By *hyme2020Woman
46 weeks ago

Glasgow Scotland

"I get shafted by them, ghosted, lied to... Unsurprisingly they are also shafting their wives so why treat any other woman differently? I avoid at all costs now. There are some who seem lovely to chat to, but I don’t have it in me to get involved anymore. It’s rough… no judgement from me, they are just not for me "

Yip I’m here with you on this. It’s hard enough.

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By *hosewhomgonakedCouple
46 weeks ago

Scotland

We don't care, just don't lie about your age,...

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By *assy LassieWoman
46 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

I couldn't care less what reason people are on here for. I won't knowingly meet an attached guy tho.

I have enough trouble making time for me and working around my responsibilities. I sure ain't gonny work around someone else's family commitments and get left sitting like a tube cause he can't work out an excuse to get out the house.

As others have said be honest about your situation and let people make an informed choice whether they want to meet

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By *AGGACouple
46 weeks ago

Leith

My thoughts exactly. Couldn't agree more.

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By *r thoughtfulMan
46 weeks ago

Glasgow

"I joined here around 12 years ago as a married woman. Without husband's knowledge.

I'm now single but I never took or take moral high ground everyone has a reason whether it's right or wrong to people. Well said

The one thing I always ask is for to be open & honest from the start. "

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By *assy69Man
46 weeks ago

West Sussex and Wales

Joined this site for the first time way back in the distant mists of time. I was married at the time, and for my own reasons, I was playing t away without wife’s knowledge. I was always up front and honest about this in chat, and on profile so anyone that i played with was very aware of my circumstances and could make an informed choice.

I am now here as a single man and understand that there could be very valid reasons why Married men, and women (though I do agree with a previous comment that there seems to be more of an acceptance of married women sometimes) are on the site.

I will never judge anyone for being here, but I do think that people should be up front and honest about their status so that there can’t be any misunderstanding about it.

Over and out, dropping the mike and leaving the building

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By *4Fun11Woman
46 weeks ago

Glasgow

I don’t have an issue with it tbh. Each to their own.

One thing I can’t stand is anyone who tries to hide the fact or lie about it.

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By *ikergent50Man
46 weeks ago

bathgate

I had more meets on here back when I was married .. and open about it than I have had now I’m single but that’s probably down to me being older now and the way the site has changed

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I don’t have an issue with it tbh. Each to their own.

One thing I can’t stand is anyone who tries to hide the fact or lie about it.

I never used to, until I get fed all the bullshit of the day… more than once… just… own your shit….

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By *omeoramboMan
46 weeks ago

Swansea

100% agree with you!

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By *omeoramboMan
46 weeks ago

Swansea

Fairpoint

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By *inglelady2022Woman
46 weeks ago

inverness

Yep, so many of them and eventually it comes out. I uses to think fab was more honest but seems to have changed last couole of years

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By *allerthanaverage79Man
46 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"Yep, so many of them and eventually it comes out. I uses to think fab was more honest but seems to have changed last couole of years"

Surely not! I thought everyone on here was straight laced and honest? It really is mad world!

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By *allerthanaverage79Man
46 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"I don’t have an issue with it tbh. Each to their own.

One thing I can’t stand is anyone who tries to hide the fact or lie about it.

I never used to, until I get fed all the bullshit of the day… more than once… just… own your shit…."

100%- just poor when people don't have a certificate for it! Lol

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By *inglelady2022Woman
46 weeks ago

inverness

I never said it was straight laced! I mean than folk were honest about what they were oozing for and upfront about it. I just don't see why married men chose to hide it in a place where its acceptable to say that you are

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I'm honest about it, I'm just looking for married women to chat and meet

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By *wiftieeMan
46 weeks ago

near Glasgow

"I'm honest about it, I'm just looking for married women to chat and meet"

And I managed it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

From a personal point of view I would prefer to meet married women than single women.

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By *nox.Woman
46 weeks ago

Glasgow

I get there's many many reasons people do it but I think being honest about it and letting anyone your planning to meet know up front and let them decide is only fair because at the end of the day it's not only you that would be cheating .

Personally it's not for me and I'd never knowingly meet anyone married without permission.

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By *ustaman85Man
46 weeks ago

here and there

"I get there's many many reasons people do it but I think being honest about it and letting anyone your planning to meet know up front and let them decide is only fair because at the end of the day it's not only you that would be cheating .

Personally it's not for me and I'd never knowingly meet anyone married without permission."

basically exactly this, it’s not for everyone, and i totally get that, iv put it on my profile, im honest enough, is what it is, some don’t mind, some do.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I much prefer to meet married men. Fewer complications

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