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A fab culture of lies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know this topic is controversial but I need to vent.

As a couple we have found an appreciation for a hotwife meet and in particular with dominant men. We like to keep our circle small and need to build a bit of trust by chatting for a while then a social moving onto a mmf and for the few that fit all our criteria only then will we arrange a hotwife meet. In fact only 4 men have got that far so I like to think we are safety aware and selective.

Then a few months down the line they trip up everything they have told you is nonsense, you invite them into your home and relationship and they cant even be so honest as to tell you their real first name never mind anything else. I get the need to be discreet until you establish if someone is genuine but months down the line and after several meets allowing yourself to be vulnerable and submissive and all you have asked for in return is honesty.

When you cut communication based on the fact the trust is broken the response we got was very dismissive "everyone hides the truth"..... Do they??? We dont! And dont get me wrong we dont ask for much other the the information you do share with us is honest.

Is this a culture among the men on fab. Say what they want to hear so you get a fuck?

I feel like we are almost being made to feel unreasonable for expecting people to be honest. If you have a couple offering to share this experience with you and being very real and very honest with you is it not your moral obligation to turn it down if you are not willing to give the same?

Really really unsure if we can even be bothered looking for honest real genuine single guys anymore which is really sad

because I'm sure they are there somewhere.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I thought most folks used a fab name when meeting others

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I thought most folks used a fab name when meeting others "

Perhaps this is the problem and we are just too honest. We have found that once you get as far as rubbing ugly bits you are normally on first name terms. The problem isnt about sharing names I hope that comes across in my original post.

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

To be honest it depends what kind of “truth” you are seeking? People using other names is not bizzare that may be how they want to be known outwith their real world so to speak.

To them it may be more about just swinging than it is to you both in terms of they meet, have sex and go back to their normal lives, perhaps you are looking for more than people want to give. I don’t know the circumstances so this is just a “perhaps” statement.

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't see why people are so secretive. I can understand not putting up your real name or face pictures on the Fab site, but once you've chatted to someone long enough that it's led to meeting in person for a social, surely you're both more at ease with each other and you can be a lot more open than you would be talking back and and forward on the forums say. I'm personally quite quick to introduce myself properly once I've started messing someone back and forth directly. I mean my real name clearly isn't highlandsfling and if I were having sex with a lady from here I'd much prefer her calling my real name out in the throws of passion rather than a made up one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To be honest it depends what kind of “truth” you are seeking? People using other names is not bizzare that may be how they want to be known outwith their real world so to speak.

To them it may be more about just swinging than it is to you both in terms of they meet, have sex and go back to their normal lives, perhaps you are looking for more than people want to give. I don’t know the circumstances so this is just a “perhaps” statement. "

We also separate our meets from real life. We dont really ask any questions for any other type of meet but with the hotwife meet we need an element of trust and we are very open about that. Should people not just pass on a meet if they are being asked for more than they are comfortable giving rather than just lie?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't see why people are so secretive. I can understand not putting up your real name or face pictures on the Fab site, but once you've chatted to someone long enough that it's led to meeting in person for a social, surely you're both more at ease with each other and you can be a lot more open than you would be talking back and and forward on the forums say. I'm personally quite quick to introduce myself properly once I've started messing someone back and forth directly. I mean my real name clearly isn't highlandsfling and if I were having sex with a lady from here I'd much prefer her calling my real name out in the throws of passion rather than a made up one. "

This is our approach to meets also but obviously I've been a bit naive in thinking that was fairly standard.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Was the lie that he wasn't single?

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By *hyme2020Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow Scotland

I think there are a lot of people on here who lie and I know I have met people who have told me their name is one thing and it’s actually something else. I think there could be all kinds of reasons people don’t give their real name and then maybe if you have been talking for a while, it then becomes more awkward to say well actually, by name is actually this. I am really fed up of liars to be honest. It makes me want to leave fab at times, and then you meet someone or chat to someone and think, I will just stay a bit longer as everyone can’t be liars. Hope you’re ok and I would try not to think about what’s happened and think about what’s still to come

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Was the lie that he wasn't single?"

That was one thing but that on it's own isnt an issue I get peoples need to protect their family life. I just cant understand why people dont just pass on a meet rather than mislead people.

I am starting to feel like ive maybe been a bit harsh. I suppose this is why it's good to vent and get others perspective on things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think there are a lot of people on here who lie and I know I have met people who have told me their name is one thing and it’s actually something else. I think there could be all kinds of reasons people don’t give their real name and then maybe if you have been talking for a while, it then becomes more awkward to say well actually, by name is actually this. I am really fed up of liars to be honest. It makes me want to leave fab at times, and then you meet someone or chat to someone and think, I will just stay a bit longer as everyone can’t be liars. Hope you’re ok and I would try not to think about what’s happened and think about what’s still to come "

I love your take on it. X

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