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Should people really have to apologise

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By *oShrinkingViolet OP   Woman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

For being ignorant ?

If you didn’t know something was offensive till you’ve said it, or done something because you weren’t aware it would upset someone should you be expected to be pounced up and forced to apologise for it.

I’m sorry what I said or did upset you but I’m not sorry for what I said or done at the time, at the time

I was ignorant and now you have educated me so thank you for that and I will “try” (because we’re not perfect machines) not to repeat it in the future.

Why are people so quick to say ignorance is no excuse but then ignorance is bliss ?

Since when did we become so angry ?

Would you scream at a child for making the same mistake ?

I doubt it highly you would say to the nicely look what you said or did has upset someone and this is the reason why we shouldn’t say or do these things and the child will learn

We all know screaming at children doesn’t work so why is it we expect everyone to have had the same education and social learning experiences as ourselves ?

Children ask us but why ? But why ? Over and over again and we try not to lose our shit and remain calm to reinforce the learning

But why can’t we find it in ourselves to treat others with the same respect ?

Like arseholes we all have our own opinions but not everyone wants to see them

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

We're living in a snowflake era. Apologise kn advance for what you're about to say

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders


"We're living in a snowflake era. Apologise kn advance for what you're about to say "

*in advance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.. id break it down to:

you either offended someone or you didn't

you either care or you don't

you want to remain friends or you don't

if you care for the person.. say sorry.

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By *oShrinkingViolet OP   Woman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales


"We're living in a snowflake era. Apologise kn advance for what you're about to say

*in advance "

Yeah that’s true I should defo come with an advisory notice hahaha

Always says what’s she’s thinking, swears like a trooper, has no filter, will ask awkward and embarrassing questions, calls folk out regularly, and some viewers may find her offensive lol

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By *edGlasgowMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

It's an interesting point and i get where you'recoming from, but then if you break or damage someone's property, do you apologise even if you didn't mean it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It probably depends on the particular thing I think. Some things are just widely accepted as wrong and shouldn’t have much tolerance even when someone is ignorant.

For example, it’s widely accepted that racism is wrong, so my tolerance for someone saying something ignorantly racist would be much lower for something like that as by this point people should really know better.

But I do agree that with the ever evolving world we live in it can be hard to keep track of new things and all we can do is try to be better when we recognise we need to!

But yeah with some things you can’t just get away with being ignorant haha.

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By *uffolkJohnMan
over a year ago

Newmarket


"For being ignorant ?

If you didn’t know something was offensive till you’ve said it, or done something because you weren’t aware it would upset someone should you be expected to be pounced up and forced to apologise for it.

I’m sorry what I said or did upset you but I’m not sorry for what I said or done at the time, at the time

I was ignorant and now you have educated me so thank you for that and I will “try” (because we’re not perfect machines) not to repeat it in the future.

Why are people so quick to say ignorance is no excuse but then ignorance is bliss ?

Since when did we become so angry ?

Would you scream at a child for making the same mistake ?

I doubt it highly you would say to the nicely look what you said or did has upset someone and this is the reason why we shouldn’t say or do these things and the child will learn

We all know screaming at children doesn’t work so why is it we expect everyone to have had the same education and social learning experiences as ourselves ?

Children ask us but why ? But why ? Over and over again and we try not to lose our shit and remain calm to reinforce the learning

But why can’t we find it in ourselves to treat others with the same respect ?

Like arseholes we all have our own opinions but not everyone wants to see them "

You should apologise for the length of the post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For being ignorant ?

If you didn’t know something was offensive till you’ve said it, or done something because you weren’t aware it would upset someone should you be expected to be pounced up and forced to apologise for it.

I’m sorry what I said or did upset you but I’m not sorry for what I said or done at the time, at the time

I was ignorant and now you have educated me so thank you for that and I will “try” (because we’re not perfect machines) not to repeat it in the future.

Why are people so quick to say ignorance is no excuse but then ignorance is bliss ?

Since when did we become so angry ?

Would you scream at a child for making the same mistake ?

I doubt it highly you would say to the nicely look what you said or did has upset someone and this is the reason why we shouldn’t say or do these things and the child will learn

We all know screaming at children doesn’t work so why is it we expect everyone to have had the same education and social learning experiences as ourselves ?

Children ask us but why ? But why ? Over and over again and we try not to lose our shit and remain calm to reinforce the learning

But why can’t we find it in ourselves to treat others with the same respect ?

Like arseholes we all have our own opinions but not everyone wants to see them "

I think a lot of what you describe and highlight is a result of modern life's addiction and indoctrination into political correctness and this idea of .. I reserve the right to be offended and if I am then that emotion from me carries more weight than any other from anybody else.. it's almost a power trip by snowflakes. The liberal world of social media pedals it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too heavy

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"For being ignorant ?

If you didn’t know something was offensive till you’ve said it, or done something because you weren’t aware it would upset someone should you be expected to be pounced up and forced to apologise for it.

I’m sorry what I said or did upset you but I’m not sorry for what I said or done at the time, at the time

I was ignorant and now you have educated me so thank you for that and I will “try” (because we’re not perfect machines) not to repeat it in the future.

Why are people so quick to say ignorance is no excuse but then ignorance is bliss ?

Since when did we become so angry ?

Would you scream at a child for making the same mistake ?

I doubt it highly you would say to the nicely look what you said or did has upset someone and this is the reason why we shouldn’t say or do these things and the child will learn

We all know screaming at children doesn’t work so why is it we expect everyone to have had the same education and social learning experiences as ourselves ?

Children ask us but why ? But why ? Over and over again and we try not to lose our shit and remain calm to reinforce the learning

But why can’t we find it in ourselves to treat others with the same respect ?

Like arseholes we all have our own opinions but not everyone wants to see them

You should apologise for the length of the post. "

Apology in advance but you should apologise for your flippancy.

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By *andy_FraserTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It's probably been said already, but people probably feel that if they appologise in advance of being offensive, then it's no longer offensive.

As once said by a modern philosopher

I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am. - Homer J. Simpson

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always speak your truth.

That way others will either like or dislike you.

No point being someone else incase you offend.

That would be exhausting

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I can offend without trying to, so I do spend a lot of time saying sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to offend. I think before I speak unlike people I know at work etc. Quite often I think, "did she/he really just say that?" Usually I would start by saying, "with all due respect", however I'm always careful as common sense is the best way x

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I use the phrase with all due respect as code for fuck you.

For example boss asks an unreasonable request. I say with all due respect I don't think you grasp what is involved to get that done in the timescale....

Subliminal speak... well fuck you. Are you serious. theres no way that's getting done by then

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I guess you shouldn't have to apologise for talking about respect and then comparing people with opinions to arseholes

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Such a tricky thing to navigate in a world of rapidly changing acceptable words, phrases and descriptions.

Being one of the old uns here I well remember when certain words etc were not only acceptable but so much so they were widely used in tv and film.

I try to not offend but like you (as you know) mouth often goes into action before brain is fully engaged! If I do offend then I fully and wholeheartedly apologise.

But I won’t apologise if someone is just using something I’ve said because they already dislike me and it’s convenient to them to have something “on” me. Hard to explain that I’m sure people understand the kind of interaction I mean.

I won’t apologise for simply having a contrary opinion to another either.

A few months ago a loved one was worried how I’d get along with their new beau as the beau had opposing views to me on a number of issues, but we got along fine as while we disagreed we respected each other’s views, listened and agreed to disagree where necessary.

Some of my closest friends on paper we should not get along at all given certain opinions, beliefs and even jobs and hobbies we have are oppositional in extreme but the respect and understanding is there.

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By *hrobbermanMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

People should only apologise about something if they actually believe they have done something which merits apologising about.

A different opinion about something is not anyhing anyone should apologise for.

And ...errrr... that's it folks.

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By *angers1986Man
over a year ago

Bellshill

You shouldn't be pounced upon but if u were unaware it was offensive whether it was somethin you said or done you just apologise and learn from it specially if they were hurt or upset..

You shouldn't apologise for a difference of opinions tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not, we all have a right to have a view/opinion and if that offends someone then that is their right to be offended it is not within their right to expect an apology for being offended, if it’s something they have strong feelings about challenge/debate it.

I would say if you know your view/opinion is extreme or not one that’s held by the audience that you’re in then maybe it’s best keep it to yourself.

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By *edGlasgowMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"For being ignorant ?

If you didn’t know something was offensive till you’ve said it, or done something because you weren’t aware it would upset someone should you be expected to be pounced up and forced to apologise for it.

I’m sorry what I said or did upset you but I’m not sorry for what I said or done at the time, at the time

I was ignorant and now you have educated me so thank you for that and I will “try” (because we’re not perfect machines) not to repeat it in the future.

Why are people so quick to say ignorance is no excuse but then ignorance is bliss ?

Since when did we become so angry ?

Would you scream at a child for making the same mistake ?

I doubt it highly you would say to the nicely look what you said or did has upset someone and this is the reason why we shouldn’t say or do these things and the child will learn

We all know screaming at children doesn’t work so why is it we expect everyone to have had the same education and social learning experiences as ourselves ?

Children ask us but why ? But why ? Over and over again and we try not to lose our shit and remain calm to reinforce the learning

But why can’t we find it in ourselves to treat others with the same respect ?

Like arseholes we all have our own opinions but not everyone wants to see them

I think a lot of what you describe and highlight is a result of modern life's addiction and indoctrination into political correctness and this idea of .. I reserve the right to be offended and if I am then that emotion from me carries more weight than any other from anybody else.. it's almost a power trip by snowflakes. The liberal world of social media pedals it."

To put this nicely, I think that's pure pish.

Of course people are allowed to be offended. If you mock someone's race, ethnicity, sexual preferences preferences then of course they can be offended. As people who live in and contribute to society, I feel we have a moral obligation to reduce our own ignorance as much as possible, and where we are in a situation we don't know about, to respect people in how we act and interact with them.

Its like saying if you go to another country and breaking a local law, expecting to get off with it because you didn't know you were breaking the law. The cops and courts would laugh at you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is so much of what you say is written down on social media, so its there for a wider audience to pour over and criticise at their liesure.

The best place to aire your opinions is to your mates down the pub.

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

It's nice to be nice.

Snowflake...what a stupid term lol

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By *angers1986Man
over a year ago

Bellshill


"It's nice to be nice.

Snowflake...what a stupid term lol "

The most overused ridiculous term people use these days! It's embarrassing

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By *I TwoCouple
over a year ago

PDI 12-26th Nov 24

Someone said on another thread that you can't give offence you can only take it of you choose.

Some people do try damn hard though

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By *oShrinkingViolet OP   Woman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales


"Always speak your truth.

That way others will either like or dislike you.

No point being someone else incase you offend.

That would be exhausting "

This is how I’ve been brought up

Authentic self otherwise trying to please everyone you will lose your own identity

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By *izzmasterzeroMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Unless you were straight up being a dick then later realized you were a dick then don't apologise for shit. You can say what you want and think what you want and just because someone crys about it that doesn't automatically make them right and it doesn't automatically entitle them to an apology, imagine being so arrogant that you think you get to float through life without anything upsetting you and being so ignorant that you think you can dictate to others how to behave.

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)


"Always speak your truth.

That way others will either like or dislike you.

No point being someone else incase you offend.

That would be exhausting "

Just remember when you are speaking the truth, it is your truth based on your sensuality, skin colour, religion, society or just general lifestyle.

Not all truths cross all barriers.

And also as I said why say something that doesn't need to be said when you can hold your council nod and move on.

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

I'm away to boil an egg noo

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders


"It's nice to be nice.

Snowflake...what a stupid term lol

The most overused ridiculous term people use these days! It's embarrassing "

If that was aimed at my remark, it was tongue in cheek (emojis are usually a clear sign it's not to be taken too seriously).

And I ain't apologising for it x

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By *angers1986Man
over a year ago

Bellshill


"It's nice to be nice.

Snowflake...what a stupid term lol

The most overused ridiculous term people use these days! It's embarrassing

If that was aimed at my remark, it was tongue in cheek (emojis are usually a clear sign it's not to be taken too seriously).

And I ain't apologising for it x"

Your use of the word snowflake offended me

Nah I'm messin haha and it wasn't aimed at you well my comment wasn't anyways

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By *exy gentMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

I think if you say something that offends someone, apologise, for me it's basic manners

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By *uffolkJohnMan
over a year ago

Newmarket


"It's nice to be nice.

Snowflake...what a stupid term lol

The most overused ridiculous term people use these days! It's embarrassing "

Tbf, only a snowflake would say that.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Everybody will offend somebody at some point.

It's up to the individual to decide if the they wish to educate themselves and apologise or have the conviction to stand by their decision regardless of whether they are in the right or wrong.

E.g.. my mother's partner was a full on racist and hated all things lgbtq+ etc. He knew it. His views were his views and he was not for changing.

I respected him for his conviction to his cause even though it was completely and utterly wrong...

If one of his childern came out as gay would he have changed his views highly unlikely...

It is the way he was and shall always be remembered for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everybody will offend somebody at some point.

It's up to the individual to decide if the they wish to educate themselves and apologise or have the conviction to stand by their decision regardless of whether they are in the right or wrong.

E.g.. my mother's partner was a full on racist and hated all things lgbtq+ etc. He knew it. His views were his views and he was not for changing.

I respected him for his conviction to his cause even though it was completely and utterly wrong...

If one of his childern came out as gay would he have changed his views highly unlikely...

It is the way he was and shall always be remembered for.

"

I don't buy into that tbh.

Its pretty easy to differentiate by asking - who is the behaviour harmful to?

2 men having sex in private - no one

A racist homophobic father - his children, people of colour, lgbtq people.

These sorts of people expect to be tolerated despite refusing to tolerate others. Conviction in being wrong is deserving of respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the worst person for saying things to make people laugh because I always end up offending someone. But I'm not saying sorry to anyone for a joke that the majority of people would be laughing at.

Example, at my mates uncles funeral ,when everyone was half cut in thepub,my mates dad was going to lift cash from the bank machine across the road and as he was walking out ,in the shitest terminator voice said "I'll be back " to which I replied " aye but yer brother won't be " now mostly all the pub knew me and I loved his uncle and he would of been pissing himself at that, as was my mates dad and most of the pub , but his sister and her side of the family were raging about it. I did ask my mate if I should go say something to them and he said it was funny what and to just enjoy the rest of the night.

Don't apologise for anything you don't think you should.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with people being offended by something is that it is subjective. Just because someone decides to take offence to what another has said does not necessarily make that person correct.

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By *reamchasserMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

The golden rule is a moral principle which denotes that you should treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. For example, the golden rule means that if you want people to treat you with respect, then you should treat them with respect too.

Dont ignore if you don’t want to be ignored

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