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Best Xmas jokes(or any jokes)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Come on guys and girls lets hear your beat Xmas jokes or any for that matter,,,,,

Paddy - thinking of becoming a blacksmith

Mick - have you ever shoed a horse??

Paddy - no but I've told a donkey to fuck off

Hahaha

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa will you stay with me?" Santa replied "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."So she took off her night gown wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?""Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call someone with a fear of Santa?

Claustraphobic!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

knock knock

who's there

Wencelas

Wencelas who

Wencelas train home....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hahaha keep them coming prize for the winner

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

A Christmas tree is better than any man....its always erect....stays up for 12 days and nights,and even a small one gives satisfaction...plus a Christmas tree has cute balls and looks even better with the lights on ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats worse than rudolph with a runny nose

a snowman with a hot flush!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A husband was engrossed in a magazine while his wife was reading the newspaper. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.

"Get this," she said. "Some guy put an ad in here offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the football."

"Hmmmmm," her husband mumbled, still engrossed in his magazine.

Wanting to test him, she asked, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not!" he said.

"That's so sweet," she replied. "Tell me why not."

"Heck, the season's more than half over!" he said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between snowmen and snow-women?

Snowballs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the difference between snowmen and snow-women?

Snowballs "

That's snow always the case .....

Kirsty

xxx xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think we should be joking about Xmas ....

It always makes me emotional ....

I have spent the whole day sticking up the tree ...

Almost used a whole bottle of lube.

Kirsty

xxx xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you get if you eat to many Christmas Decirations?.........

Tinsilitus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is Santa Claus always so happy?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live...

J

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Need help deciding who get the prize for best joke??

Get voting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I called the RSPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs." "That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?" "I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Need help deciding who get the prize for best joke??

Get voting "

What's funny about that?

I don't get it .....

Kirsty

xxx xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

two snowmen in a field.....first one asks can you smell carrots??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention. The driver got out and he was a dwarf. He said, "I'm not happy." I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you do if you come across a tiger in the Jungle? Wipe it off and apologise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback sits at a traffic light next to a kid on a shiny new bike.

The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a tail light on that bike."

The cop then issues the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?

They go to town and blow a couple of bucks.

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