FabSwingers.com forum: timewasters

By *r cassie4 OP Couple
over a year ago

highlands

been let down to night at last moment was thinking would it not be a good idea to have some sort of conduct forum were people can put there case and the timewaster or picture collectors could be named would have to be ruled over by some kind of moderater and these people could make a judgement on these wasters and put some sort of ban or people to watch then real swingers can get on with having fun with real swingers would like to no what people think of this idea

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

don't think it would ever work. At the end of the day, its your word against theres.

Sorry you have been let down but i'm guessing it's just a case of brushing yourself off, forgetting about them and getting back in there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another site used to have a "STAR SYSTEM", 5 stars to endorse fact you did'nt waste peoples time, 3 stars or lower signified there was a question mark about your ability to meet.

People who had been timewasted simply messaged the site and the case was looked at and consequently the timewasters were knocked down to 3 stars,if you had no stars, you were either new or regarded as total timewasters,,, WORKED!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, reality check,

People are in this lark to "Get what they want", if that means a direct message to each other, cool, if that means checking you out with a view to eventually hooking up with others you know. that happens too!!

If you sense/feel folks who are talking to you are not ultra kean to meet, guess what, your probably correct!!

So this claim of having your time wasted, yes to a degree is correct, but please do trust your instincts,it just might save your time and money too!

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, reality check,

If you sense/feel folks who are talking to you are not ultra kean to meet, guess what, your probably correct!!

So this claim of having your time wasted, yes to a degree is correct, but please do trust your instincts,it just might save your time and money too!

T xx"
. . . Jeez. . Cheers. Totally understand peeps avoiding time wasters and hell to them! We are a little opposite. As newbies been chatting to a few folk hoping to meet but it seems chat stops just short of arranging meet. Presume its cos noone can trust us cos we aint profile verified but trying all the same. Its the time wasters thats making it difficult for us too! Hey but great site and loving it already. Kat xx

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By *lackbird186Man
over a year ago

west glasgow

now you say they did not turn up - did they contact you to say why , were they on the wind up, did they drop dead. who knows there are lots of things that can arise at the last minute where folk cant turn up and yes a call is always the best thing to do.

some folk on here are her to chat - they might say meet for a coffee or what ever but get real do you know how many starbucks and such places there are in any town. they might have gone to the wrong one lol

as said above put it down to bad luck that they did not show and just move on to the next one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, reality check,

If you sense/feel folks who are talking to you are not ultra kean to meet, guess what, your probably correct!!

So this claim of having your time wasted, yes to a degree is correct, but please do trust your instincts,it just might save your time and money too!

T xx . . . Jeez. . Cheers. Totally understand peeps avoiding time wasters and hell to them! We are a little opposite. As newbies been chatting to a few folk hoping to meet but it seems chat stops just short of arranging meet. Presume its cos noone can trust us cos we aint profile verified but trying all the same. Its the time wasters thats making it difficult for us too! Hey but great site and loving it already. Kat xx"

Nobody will knock you for taking your time, as we are saying, make others go to expense of booking hotel rooms etc then leave them standing feelng stupid pisses most off.

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think the label of bing a timewaster is overly used and is at times wrongly used. In fact we were called timewasters by a user due to the fact that we wouldnt meet them, nothing to do with the fact it clearly states on our profile what we were looking for and what we were not...and since that 'labelling' oh look, we have had a few meets!! Also, like us many members are not in a mad rush to just get that verification, thats not what the site is for all those horny people who go in huffs when people take their time!!

think mabye being let down once or mabye postponed by another member doesnt exactly make them timewasters, if it was like three or four times then thats diffrerent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think fab should have some sort of star system so pepole no how hot you rate them so when some one wants to play they will no who to ask.

Sorry to hear someone let you down x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read peoples specifications,likes,wants and decided it would be both a waste of my time and theirs to message/contact,never tagged anyone "timewaster" ever, i did a few months ago start a thread called, "No such thing as a timewaster", which was to say how various things cause folks to not go that last stage and meet, too busy, too nervous,too chaotic as in they are not organised,the response was various examples from folks telling me to what degree they had time wasted,cool.

I've been in the company of people who simply will say "ohh you will give us verification" again no harm in it, i never insist on it,nice when it pings up on your account page a few days after a fun meet.

Look forward to more opinions and theories on timewasting,solutions and causes.

Keep it fun though eh.

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have all been there with this issue. But of course it very much depends on your definition of a "time waster"

A while back when the site ownership changed, they were piloting a Thumbs Up/Down function and this could be reinstated.

If a couple/person got enough votes one way or the other it would automatically display the icon on their profile, which could only be removed by site management.

Nobody would know how many votes they had received one way or the other and this would help ensure people acted in a respectful and appropriate manner.

Seems to be more a more people are posting profiles, but not prepared to take it any further and this is a problem when the site is basically free to join and use with pretty much full functionality.

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

We had an issue with timewasters last night but in saying that I dont think its a good idea to start any rating system, what happens you give them a thumbs down and they in turn do the same to you even though you have not wasted anyones time?

I think just letting your contacts know should be enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not kean on the thumbs up/down thing, wide open for abuse,folks could easily just on mass create a thumbs down for someone with very little reason behind it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It strikes me that the really annoying bit of the timewasting issue is the complete silence from the other party.

Yes of course there are loads of things which could crop up at the last minute, but imho, in this day and age with the range of communication options available, there is just no excuse for non-communication!!

Genuine people will contact and apologise, timewasters suddenly go quiet!!

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Not kean on the thumbs up/down thing, wide open for abuse,folks could easily just on mass create a thumbs down for someone with very little reason behind it.

Could be exactly the same for the 'star rating' that you have suggested before too and also any other way of reporting 'timewasters'.

Not taking any sides here and this isn't in answer to the OP but am just pointing out that every story usually has 3 sides to it - the reporter, the reported and the truth, which will always be somewhere in the middle of the other 2.

So any naming and shaming or reporting people as timewasters, or whatever else will always be open to abuse.

Again this is only my tuppence worth into the whole debate on reporting timewasters, etc and not this specific thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The star rating was reviewd by the relevant people running the site, not leaft to the members themselves as the thumbs down vote thing seemed.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"The star rating was reviewd by the relevant people running the site, not leaft to the members themselves as the thumbs down vote thing seemed."

The thumbs up/down info was also collated by the site owners here just like the star ratings on the other site. Just because a member gave one or the other on here didn't automatically mean it was taken as the truth, I presume it was the members on the other site that gave their rating in the first place?

Seeing as the thumbs idea is no longer a feature here they must have decided it wasn't worth doing or maybe open to abuse just like another member giving star ratings on the other site could be!

It's always going to be one person's opinion (on someone else) against the other person - 3 sides to every story comes back to mind

Again just my tuppence worth

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"been let down to night at last moment was thinking would it not be a good idea to have some sort of conduct forum were people can put there case and the timewaster or picture collectors could be named would have to be ruled over by some kind of moderater and these people could make a judgement on these wasters and put some sort of ban or people to watch then real swingers can get on with having fun with real swingers would like to no what people think of this idea "

Timewasters according to members posts vary from they are picture collectors to having arranged a meet and they didn't turn up or contact to say they were not turning up.

Everyone has to have their own checks in place as how they out any timeswasters and we have probably all had the people who have said what they think you want to hear to get what they want.

We now do a few checks in the first couple of mails or so to out any pic collectors, cyber chatters or people who want camfun rather than real meets....and it works.

As for last minute cancellations, we have all probably had them or had to do it ourselves. Life gets in the way sometimes and these things happen. We and one man were we both had to cancel once each and nearly gave up of arranging another time, but we did arrange and have had some great meets with him since, so it isn't always a total waste of time if someone cancels for that certain night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The star rating was reviewd by the relevant people running the site, not leaft to the members themselves as the thumbs down vote thing seemed.

Seeing as the thumbs idea is no longer a feature here they must have decided it wasn't worth doing or maybe open to abuse just like another member giving star ratings on the other site could be!

It's always going to be one person's opinion (on someone else) against the other person - 3 sides to every story comes back to mind

Again just my tuppence worth

I generally dont have to consider rating,or searching for a system to try and tell everyone else X,Y,Z member let me down,was just offering up what i understood of said system.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some people have to cancel meets due to babysitters letting them down dont make u a timewaster think we all get it sometimes had to do it myself recently but gave them 24h notice does that make me a timewaster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some people have to cancel meets due to babysitters letting them down dont make u a timewaster think we all get it sometimes had to do it myself recently but gave them 24h notice does that make me a timewaster

i agree theirs a million things can go wrong before a meet amd my rule is as long as i get a text even 10 mins before thats fine . i wouldnt meet anyone without exchanging nums so no excuses for a no call no show

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By *r cassie4 OP Couple
over a year ago

highlands

thanks to every one for there input xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most definitely not!

As I said previously, imho it's the lack of communication which is the real annoyance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

agree with the thumbs thing being a not so good idea, but also i think the star rating is not much different to actual verifications, and having both would just be too much. dont see the point in fixing something that isnt broken..

to be honest i also think that having a star rating aswell as the verifications could make it a bit too intimidating for people new to swinging..i know that a huge list of verifications alone was a slight put off for us when we first joined the site and we had been involving others in our shenanigance for a few years..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My verifications are accumulated over years of swinging, not weeks or months, years, they are given by equally fun friendly genuine swinging friends i meet and are given to prove we met had fun and tell any interested looking us up that we are genuine, therefore it automatically eliminates the need for "stars" or any other check if genuine system.

In an ideal world i would love to prune the amount i have down to make it read shorter but then the polite considerate side of me kicks in and i feel guilty about deleting any genuine swinging verification i have gained because then it would seem both inconsiderate and thoughtless, none of which i am, ever.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

timewaisters so often have no timewaisters, on thier profile. thus lulling you into a false sense of honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen the star system mentioned here and on other forums many times since we joined fab.

We were on another site where the star system was used and it was abused by people just as many can open other profiles and verify themselves here.

For example a member did not like something in the forums and (emailed other members therefore negating the fact that you had to be in contact before you could leave a feedback/ verification) left a bad feedback saying how stupid the other member was and therefore taking a star away from the member.

What the member had to do was email admin and plead their case and hope that admin saw that said persons feedback was not genuine and was removed and all stars were reinstated, however again it was one person word against anothers.

Unless you can prove that someone did not deserve the neg verification by having independent people to monitor ALL communications then there will always be someone wasting someone elses time.

Now I for one would not like to HAVE to always use this site to set up meets or even to chat to someone but if we are going to go down the road of peoples mail being checked that’s whats going to happen, no msn, no txts, no phone calls cos they cant be checked by the independent checkers.

I see that the only way to stop all timewaster is to make someone or a group of people independent checkers. Now hands up who wants all their mail to be opened and read by someone like me even tho it may be quite personal and no business of mine??

Shona

x x x

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By *uvhandleMan
over a year ago

Huntly

got a message from a lady in aberdeen saying high and chatted for a while, then we agreed to have some fun and she asked me to book a room in a hotel for last sunday, which i did and paid for....I never heard from her again after I told her it was all booked, she had verifications.....she just stopped chatting to me and then deleted her profile...i was left with the hotel room bill and a spare hard on.....not funny at all and not a very nice trick to pull

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