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What's good for piles?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've got piles again and it's sore as fuck.

I think she was finger blasting me in my sleep last night although I have no real proof other than a sore anus.

I know someone on here must have a remedy for sore starfish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a carrot in the freezer for half an hour then insert.

(The carrot....not the freezer....)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Put a carrot in the freezer for half an hour then insert.

(The carrot....not the freezer....)"

I’ve heard pineapples have a medicinal skin. It’s a bit rough at the start. But will provide a numbing sensation about halfway down

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Put some whisky up there so if she finger balsts you again her nails will come out half cut.

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By *ohnnyxxxUK4UMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Cucumber

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By *oyeur 777Man
over a year ago

glasgow


"Put a carrot in the freezer for half an hour then insert.

(The carrot....not the freezer....)"

Then, when finished with said carrot.

Dice it up and make her a lovely stew with it.

That'll teach her to finger blast you in your sleep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cucumber "

I've seen the cucumber technique used in the top picks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Put a carrot in the freezer for half an hour then insert.

(The carrot....not the freezer....)"

I think I'll try an ice pole first.

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"I've got piles again and it's sore as fuck.

I think she was finger blasting me in my sleep last night although I have no real proof other than a sore anus.

"

Smell her finger

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

Veet it will reduce the swelling honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mix up 2 parts paraffin, one part vinegar and a spoonful of swarfega. My old dad swore by it.

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By *44bertCouple
over a year ago

Inverness

Probably better to ask a medical professional rather than strangers on a swingers site..!

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By *ussymufferMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Get to the docs and get something done ASAP.

If they are internal you will be in pain

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Probably better to ask a medical professional rather than strangers on a swingers site..! "

First of all have you tried to get a doctor's appointment? And secondly I bet there's doctors and nurses on here from the photos I've seen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Get to the docs and get something done ASAP.

If they are internal you will be in pain "

Speaking from experience muffer?

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By *hrobbermanMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

[Removed by poster at 22/08/22 20:48:43]

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By *hrobbermanMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I would storngly suggest adding more Sweetcorn, Hard-Boiled Eggs, Brazil Nuts and Beer to your diet. Deep Fried Foods such as a Battered Deep Fried Mars Bar should be avoided... though a frozen - or well-chilled - Mars Bar might provide some soothing relief if not taken as a food stuff. Once the chocolate starts melting - just stop using it. Remember to put said confectionary straight in the bin in case someone chances upon it and gets torn intae it as a wee pre-dinner appetiser.

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By *ekked JackMan
over a year ago

South Lanarkshire

A cheese grater

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would storngly suggest adding more Sweetcorn, Hard-Boiled Eggs, Brazil Nuts and Beer to your diet. Deep Fried Foods such as a Battered Deep Fried Mars Bar should be avoided... though a frozen - or well-chilled - Mars Bar might provide some soothing relief if not taken as a food stuff. Once the chocolate starts melting - just stop using it. Remember to put said confectionary straight in the bin in case someone chances upon it and gets torn intae it as a wee pre-dinner appetiser."

Someone recently had a star bar up their arse.

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By *punkyMcFuckKnuckleMan
over a year ago

Glasvegas/Kilmarnock

Wire brush and Dettol

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By *anfifeMan
over a year ago

glenrothes

A nice as warm as you dare shower head and a tray or bucket of ice. Tempt them with the shower head and immediately after sit in the ice. !!!

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Constipation and heavy lifting are good for piles. Pregnancy, also; but I believe that may be beyond your biological capability.

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By *ktartenMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Go to your Quack and ask for a prescription for Sheriproct.

I have been using it for years (on and off) 5 moniutes later total relief!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've stuck a frozen hot dog up ma arse and I'm going to leave it in all defrosting.

Hope I don't get frost bite.

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie


"I've stuck a frozen hot dog up ma arse and I'm going to leave it in all defrosting.

Hope I don't get frost bite. "

Avoid known dogging locations at lunchtime just in case some dog walkers have their dogs aff the lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lubed but plug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As far as I know, if you start putting away your clothes and keep a more tidy home, the piles tend to just go away on their own….

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By *othianGuy41Man
over a year ago

Eureka

Andrex toilet wipes are quite soothing on the rusty sheriff's badge, especially if you've farmer Giles.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.


"As far as I know, if you start putting away your clothes and keep a more tidy home, the piles tend to just go away on their own…."

I had to read this a few times to get it. Doh.

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By *arcaboy_gaudigirlCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

So take a sanitary towel cut slit in top where it would meet your hole. Insert ice and wear attached to pants. Ice will reduced the swelling and the pain. Worked everytime for me when I got piles. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So take a sanitary towel cut slit in top where it would meet your hole. Insert ice and wear attached to pants. Ice will reduced the swelling and the pain. Worked everytime for me when I got piles. Xx"

This is genius actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got piles again and it's sore as fuck.

I think she was finger blasting me in my sleep last night although I have no real proof other than a sore anus.

Smell her finger "

Buckled

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I would like to thank everyone for the love and support I've found in this thread.

Piles are no laughing matter, and I'm very happy to report the farmers are in retreat.

It won't be long before I won't need to sit on a water ring.

Shabba.

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