FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Scotland

Hey or how's it going?

Jump to newest
 

By *amierebel OP   Man
over a year ago

My own little world

Why's this not a good start to a conversation? And why should a whole ton of effort be put in to a first message to possibly either be ignored or deleted. Genuinely curious as I think a hi is a good starting point to find out if there's physical attraction or not. Thoughts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if you've already replied to 40+ messages asking the same thing

I'd usually reply to a 'hi how are you?` if I like the look of the profile cause I totally get the point no one wants to type a lengthy message just to have it deleted, but it's when there's still no conversation forthcoming after the next couple messages that I just switch off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

Because it shows that not much effort has gone into your first contact. First impressions etc.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Because it shows that not much effort has gone into your first contact. First impressions etc."

This. I've deleted numerous 'hi/hey' messages. I always check out the profile and more often than not they've put about the same effort into that. Which makes me think there will be zero effort during play meets either.

My time is limited, I'm not going to spend it batting one word/line messages back and forth. If you can't be bothered to try and interest me then I can't be bothered to reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s fine but don’t be pissed when you get no reply (which as the sites rules state is a polite no thanks)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amierebel OP   Man
over a year ago

My own little world

It's great to see different views on this on how much effort should be used in a opening message

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ert999400Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Maybe improve the profile. Open a convo by saying read my profile if interested get back to me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Maybe improve the profile. Open a convo by saying read my profile if interested get back to me"

The problem with that is that it also seems a bit lazy, unless you add it into a message where you say what you have to offer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amierebel OP   Man
over a year ago

My own little world

Profile information is another debate I wanted do aswell see many profiles years old with "will fill this later" or use some random word if wrote on my profile as header of message (personally used have a lot info on my profile just got unwanted attention so deleted it) I guess it's a privacy thing to but strike up a convo with someone information is forthcoming I just don't get the big make a effort first message relate it to my profile tell me why u worthy my time blah blah blah like no 1 person is better than the next to me personally physical attraction is important and I recon that's true for most so why should a ugly bloke put tons effort into an opening message

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ert999400Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Profile information is another debate I wanted do aswell see many profiles years old with "will fill this later" or use some random word if wrote on my profile as header of message (personally used have a lot info on my profile just got unwanted attention so deleted it) I guess it's a privacy

thing to but strike up a convo with

someone information is forthcomi

I just don't get the big make a effort first message relate it to my profile tell me why u worthy my time blah blah blah like no 1 person is better than the next to me personally physical attraction is important and I recon that's true for most so why should a ugly bloke put tons effort into an opening message "
I guess if the person is ugly then more effort is required

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply if I like the profile. I don't really see what's wrong with it if you have something for them to look at and see if they're tempted, if your profile is crap with no pics then it's pretty pointless though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Personally, I wouldn't even consider sending a first message that simply asked how the recipient is, and if a well thought out message was deleted, then that few minutes of my life wasn't overly important, anyway. Granted, physical attraction is important, but communication is a big part of attraction for me - I'd take a meet with a connection, laughs and banter over meeting a stunner with a cardboard, incompatible personality any day.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally, I wouldn't even consider sending a first message that simply asked how the recipient is, and if a well thought out message was deleted, then that few minutes of my life wasn't overly important, anyway. Granted, physical attraction is important, but communication is a big part of attraction for me - I'd take a meet with a connection, laughs and banter over meeting a stunner with a cardboard, incompatible personality any day. "
What he said

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Profile information is another debate I wanted do aswell see many profiles years old with "will fill this later" or use some random word if wrote on my profile as header of message (personally used have a lot info on my profile just got unwanted attention so deleted it) I guess it's a privacy thing to but strike up a convo with someone information is forthcoming I just don't get the big make a effort first message relate it to my profile tell me why u worthy my time blah blah blah like no 1 person is better than the next to me personally physical attraction is important and I recon that's true for most so why should a ugly bloke put tons effort into an opening message "

I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else. I'm saying that I need to find someone interesting enough to want to chat to. Hi just doesn't cut it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amierebel OP   Man
over a year ago

My own little world


"Profile information is another debate I wanted do aswell see many profiles years old with "will fill this later" or use some random word if wrote on my profile as header of message (personally used have a lot info on my profile just got unwanted attention so deleted it) I guess it's a privacy thing to but strike up a convo with someone information is forthcoming I just don't get the big make a effort first message relate it to my profile tell me why u worthy my time blah blah blah like no 1 person is better than the next to me personally physical attraction is important and I recon that's true for most so why should a ugly bloke put tons effort into an opening message

I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else. I'm saying that I need to find someone interesting enough to want to chat to. Hi just doesn't cut it."

That wasn't aimed at anyone personally

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Profile information is another debate I wanted do aswell see many profiles years old with "will fill this later" or use some random word if wrote on my profile as header of message (personally used have a lot info on my profile just got unwanted attention so deleted it) I guess it's a privacy thing to but strike up a convo with someone information is forthcoming I just don't get the big make a effort first message relate it to my profile tell me why u worthy my time blah blah blah like no 1 person is better than the next to me personally physical attraction is important and I recon that's true for most so why should a ugly bloke put tons effort into an opening message

I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else. I'm saying that I need to find someone interesting enough to want to chat to. Hi just doesn't cut it.

That wasn't aimed at anyone personally"

I didn't assume it was, just clarifying my position.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *auliewalnutsMan
over a year ago

glasgow


"Because it shows that not much effort has gone into your first contact. First impressions etc."

its an opening line in a message exchange, not a job interview

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hello is fine by me as long as you have face pics for me to make my mind up if I'm answering or not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ert999400Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Because it shows that not much effort has gone into your first contact. First impressions etc.

its an opening line in a message exchange, not a job interview "
if it was a job interview I would be interested

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enAdamsMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I gave up sending messages tbh… I enjoy the very odd incoming message from some lovely woman who are keen to have a wee chatter

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *edGlasgowMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I gave up sending messages tbh… I enjoy the very odd incoming message from some lovely woman who are keen to have a wee chatter "

Show aff

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enAdamsMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I gave up sending messages tbh… I enjoy the very odd incoming message from some lovely woman who are keen to have a wee chatter

Show aff "

LOL… I said “the very odd”.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urple-n-PinkCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Coatbridge

I dont necessarily think it's the question all be it it can seem unimaginative...its the one word answer replies...we like to ask open question and see if you check our main boxes first off. There's no point in 5 back and forth if they aren't detailed. If you barely reply and you are still unimaginative we don't reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin


"I dont necessarily think it's the question all be it it can seem unimaginative...its the one word answer replies...we like to ask open question and see if you check our main boxes first off. There's no point in 5 back and forth if they aren't detailed. If you barely reply and you are still unimaginative we don't reply. "

Agreed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Poor communication skills = poor sex in my experience

If a lack of effort or ability to communicate is obvious I know we aren’t suited therefore no point wasting mine - or their - time

I like to explore fantasies and adjust how I play to allow for a persons likes and dislikes. If they can’t express well what those are and also don’t return the favour then I’ll be left unsatisfied

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Doesn't bother me. I look at the profile first. If that doesn't spark an interest then unlikely to reply

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amierebel OP   Man
over a year ago

My own little world

It's just an opener if you ask me. If i met someone on a social or even just someone outside a opener would be a hi.. so yeah sort of just don't get why such an effort should be put into an opening message more than a hey but of course I now realise with some people clearly there should be more

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Even if I meet someone socially I make an effort to show interest and I’m talking just general platonic introductions and I expect the same in return

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's just an opener if you ask me. If i met someone on a social or even just someone outside a opener would be a hi.. so yeah sort of just don't get why such an effort should be put into an opening message more than a hey but of course I now realise with some people clearly there should be more "

Because that 1 person you have messaged saying hi has 40 other messages and maybe most of them have put the effort in and not just said hi..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la


"Why's this not a good start to a conversation? And why should a whole ton of effort be put in to a first message to possibly either be ignored or deleted. Genuinely curious as I think a hi is a good starting point to find out if there's physical attraction or not. Thoughts"

I generally look at a profile before I read a message. If there's nothing remotely interesting on the profile then it's likely the message will be equally uninspiring. If there's something on the profile that sparks my interest then I will open the message, if that message further grasps my attention then I may reply. Unless it is a truly outstanding profile "hi" or "how u doin?" is not going to get any response.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amierebel OP   Man
over a year ago

My own little world

I do actually get it woman be flooded with messages on any site though I'm sure even some people who put tons effort into a opener message have had it just deleted more than not. I like idea just waiting for a odd message in the inbox isn't that frequent but yeah lol. As a lovely lady said in my inbox who i believe with what wrote she agrees with most yous about the no effort in a simple hi she also said its a ladies market. She said more than that of course was perfectly put tbh

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi or hello is fine , but shows a bit of effort you've read their profile if you relate to something in it , like "hello there , How are you ? I see that you like mmf &mff meets , best celeb pick for both" ?

Not a long time to do that and shows a bit of effort.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi or hello is fine , but shows a bit of effort you've read their profile if you relate to something in it , like "hello there , How are you ? I see that you like mmf &mff meets , best celeb pick for both" ?

Not a long time to do that and shows a bit of effort. "

Does that work for you Bert?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having previously been a single guy on fab who never received much attention, I can safely say that receiving any message whatsoever was always a cause for celebration and turning cartwheels across the living room.

Messages are only ice breakers. The real effort needs to go into your profile (the less dick pics, on display, the better your chances of getting a reply I’d suggest)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's just an opener if you ask me. If i met someone on a social or even just someone outside a opener would be a hi.. so yeah sort of just don't get why such an effort should be put into an opening message more than a hey but of course I now realise with some people clearly there should be more "

Yeah it's just an opener. You're not wrong there. But would you really open with this in the "real" world. Don't you think a random straight forward HI. Just seems creepy?

In my opinion here is not the real world. You have to read a profile and sell yourself accordingly. A simple HI shows absolutely no effort.

That said maybe me using a simple HI would bring me more luck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi or hello is fine , but shows a bit of effort you've read their profile if you relate to something in it , like "hello there , How are you ? I see that you like mmf &mff meets , best celeb pick for both" ?

Not a long time to do that and shows a bit of effort.

Does that work for you Bert?"

Well most of the time I at least get a reply, 70% are a polite no , but the others are happy with the effort and it leads to further chat .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

If I was in a pub I’d say hey how’s you so it’s perfectly acceptable to me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *amierebel OP   Man
over a year ago

My own little world

Actually think this turned out to be a not to bad debate. There is a few different opinions guess everyone has personal preferences how be approached on this sex site, so far I'm taking from this a little effort goes a long way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top