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Question for couples that play solo

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By *hatsmynameagain OP   Couple
over a year ago

Ayrshire

When your partner has a fwb/fb or whatever you want to call it how often is it ok to meet before it becomes a poly relationship?

We've had quite a few meets over the years both solo and as a couple but all of them were NSA. Recently we've branched out a bit away from fab and both found ourselves a fwb each. But how often is ok is something I've only just thought about

Like if it was every few days and went on for ages it really would be like a poly relationship where as if it was once here and there it wouldn't

What's everyone's thoughts and experience of this?

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amazing question and do you intro to each other I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a cpl that both have single profiles us personally would stay clear of the fwb thing. more you meet the more familier you become which could be dangerous territory even with the purest intentions.

Cpls playing with cpls completely different as nothing is left to the imagination.

Just my take on it.

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"When your partner has a fwb/fb or whatever you want to call it how often is it ok to meet before it becomes a poly relationship?

We've had quite a few meets over the years both solo and as a couple but all of them were NSA. Recently we've branched out a bit away from fab and both found ourselves a fwb each. But how often is ok is something I've only just thought about

Like if it was every few days and went on for ages it really would be like a poly relationship where as if it was once here and there it wouldn't

What's everyone's thoughts and experience of this?

Mr"

I think if they were meeting every month or so it's fine, anything more regular (weekly meets, daily texts) I would consider a poly relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's possible to set a time frame, it's really down to if/when you develop feelings beyond friendship and sex. You could meet the same person a few times a week for years and never go beyond FWB or you might meet someone a few times and get more romantic feelings towards them.

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By *hatsmynameagain OP   Couple
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Thanks for the replies everyone

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

If everyone is happy for it to be poly then go for it. Not everything needs a label though. Go with the flow and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup poly if need be if it's ent on for along time intro all into the scene you never know everyone prob enjoy it x

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

My wee bit.

It is only you which knows the truth, If you have a FWB and you can put that firmly in its place then it can go on forever. The distraction is sometimes the FWB becomes the promised land and the husband or wife becomes the guy or girl that moans at lot.

However that can just be down to the fact you live with one and the other only fleeting.

So I suppose my answer is yes you can, however only you will know if your FWB has been promoted to boyfriend.

Would you see another guy whilst having a FWB and a hubby?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My wee bit.

It is only you which knows the truth, If you have a FWB and you can put that firmly in its place then it can go on forever. The distraction is sometimes the FWB becomes the promised land and the husband or wife becomes the guy or girl that moans at lot.

However that can just be down to the fact you live with one and the other only fleeting.

So I suppose my answer is yes you can, however only you will know if your FWB has been promoted to boyfriend.

Would you see another guy whilst having a FWB and a hubby?"

I think this is sound advice. (Not like you QB ).

If I was already in a committed relationship I couldn't/wouldn't be looking for a similar level of connection with another person. From the little I've read on the subject of poly (also on various relationship type private FB groups) one partner always gets the short straw.

Good luck going forward though. You guys may be the exception to the rule.

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By *igsaw93Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Personally I don't think there is a tipping point in frequency determining what you are to each other. It's all about your emotional connection, the agreed boundaries and your feelings towards each other.

A poly relationship could mean having sex less than once a month, whereas a fwb arrangement could be once a week, or vice versa. I think people worry about feelings in relation to frequency but it's connection that develops feelings, so it could happen either way.

Poly and fwb are labels to distinguish different agreed dynamics. It's all about how you handle the emotional connections and boundaries that come up between the four individuals involved that will determine whether it works for you all long term.

It's such an interesting topic though and one I wish people on the swinging scene discussed more.

Have fun

Jigs xx

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie


"As a cpl that both have single profiles us personally would stay clear of the fwb thing. more you meet the more familier you become which could be dangerous territory even with the purest intentions.

Cpls playing with cpls completely different as nothing is left to the imagination.

Just my take on it. "

This would be my take on it .

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

From what I’ve witnessed over the years unless your relationship is poly and that’s what’s been agreed then couples having fwb usually ends in disaster with someone being hurt

One of the reasons I stay away from anyone in a relationship even if the wife says it’s ok

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By *hatsmynameagain OP   Couple
over a year ago

Ayrshire

[Removed by poster at 26/07/22 17:52:34]

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By *hatsmynameagain OP   Couple
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Just to clear up as I don't think I explained it well being in a poly relationship is of no interest to us. From everything I've ever seen or read about it we don't think long term it would work.

Also it's male half asking although female half is also reading it. I usually sign off with Mr I don't know why I didn't this time

The reason I'm asking for people's thoughts and experiences is we've sort of stumbled our way to this, It certainly wasn't planned just so happens we both met none fab people around the same time (both from FB) and decided to take it further. Until the other night I thought "This is great" till I actually gave it some thought and realised it's maybe not that great

A few people have mentioned it but I also believe you can't help but develop feelings for someone your intimate with over a period of time. Sure here and there is different but at one point it's going to happen.

Tbh now I'm thinking we'd be better ending things before it really starts and maybe just keep it as NSA rather than any long term thing

Thank you everyone for your replies

Mr

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