FabSwingers.com forum: Corniest joke

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lets see who can come up with the corniest joke.

I'll start......why did the hedgehog cross the road?

....to see his flat mate,,,,,

What swims in the sea terrorising all the fish?

.....Jack the kipper!!!!!!

A white horse goes in to a bar and the barman says "I've got a drink named after you" and the horse says "What? Eric?"

Groan!!! Your turn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why did the cat cross the road?

He thought he was a chicken

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I like your thought process lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between David Cameron and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a barrowboy and a Daschund?

One balls his wares out on the pavemant.........

Difference between a baby and a seagull?

One flits about the shore.....

A woman goes into a bar and asks for a double entendre so the bar man gives her one!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A G N B:That's bang out of order.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore a brown paper suit?

He got done for rustling!!!!

What about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What word's got 14 letters,begins with N,ends with N,has an N in the middle and means constipation???

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!

How can you tell if there's a blind man in a nudist colony?

Ach,it's no hard!!!

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his arse?

Warren!!!

What do you call a lady gardener with a pint of beer balanved on her head??

Beertrix Potter!!

What's brown,lumpy and lives in the sea?

Moby Mince!!

What's black and white and bounces??

A rubber nun!!

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By *uncouple981Couple
over a year ago

ayrshire

The only one I know.....

What did the constipated mathematician do ......

Worked it out with a pencil.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I walked into the bedroom and my wife was putting her bra on in front of our 13 year old son."That's disgusting," I said, "You shouldn't be doing that in front of him.""Don't be silly," she replied, "He's my son, besides, you said your mother did it in front of you."I said, "She did, but my mother had nice tits."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rabbie Burns and his pal Tim go into a pub and are sitting having a couple of drinks when an Englishman walks in and says I bet anyone in this pub a bottle of the finest Scotch that I can say a better rhyme than them on any subject.

Tim says 'here Rabbie your good at they wee rhymes, you do it' So Rabbie stands up and says I'll take you on but what subject? The barman says Timbuctoo so the englishman gets up and says

'As i awalked along the docks

I saw a ship tied to the stalks

I thought I'd go and meet the crew

And sail with them to Timbuctoo'

everyone in the pub claps and hollers and Rabbie gets up and says

'Tim and I acamping went

Spied 3 lassies in a tent

As they were three and we were two

I bucked one and Tim bucked two'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

terrorist phones a pet shop.

tells owner you have got 5 minuets

to evacuate the shop.or i will blow it up.owner replies,hey thats a bit harsh on the tortoise!!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wots green and walks through walls?

Casper the Friendly cooking apple

Why did the apple turnover?

Because it saw the sausage roll

Whats brown and quacks?

Donald mince

7 Dawarfs on the train feeling Happy.

Happy didnae like it so got off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q...What's the difference between a fridge and a fanny?

A...Fridges don't fart when you put the meat in.

When i was young i had two goldfish. I called them one and two-one died but i still had two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy goes up to a bar for a drink and asks the barman for a double entendre so the barman gave him one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difference between and egg and a screw?

You can beat an egg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U lot are so sick, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an asian man with a microwave on his head?

Pading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an asian lesbian...mingeata

Chinaman with one testicle...wan hung lo

Irish poof...Pat Magroin

Two irish poofs...Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an Asain with spots on his face?

Rasheed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there

If you're almost there and then she laughs, well thats a diff thing altogether!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A herd of cattle is standing in a field one day when an earthquake strikes. The cows all lose their balance and fall over. But the bull remains standing.

The farmer rushes from the farmhouse to check that his cattle are ok and can't believe his eyes when he sees the bull still standing there.

The farmers asks the bull "How come you weren't affected by the earthquake like all the cows?!"

The bull replies, "We bulls wobble but we don't fall down"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good Morning Ladies says the Blind man as he passes the fish shop

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Good Morning Ladies says the Blind man as he passes the fish shop

"
Hahahahaha that made me laugh Fred

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good Morning Ladies says the Blind man as he passes the fish shop

Hahahahaha that made me laugh Fred

Not as much as the Blind man though xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a swimming pool? Bob

gay Scots guys, Phil Macavity and Ben Doon.

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

"what do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a swimming pool? Bob

gay Scots guys, Phil Macavity and Ben Doon."

And their Irish counterparts, Patrick fitzwilliam and William fitzpatrick.

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

Two nuns in the bath, one asks "where's the soap?"

The other replies,

"It does doesn't it!"

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

What do the holidaymaker and the cow have in common?

The both have a wee calf!

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

What is the difference between Walt Disney and Bing crosby?

Bing sings,.......

And

Walt disnae.!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What succeeds?

A gumsy budgie!!!

What has 4 legs and flies?

A dead dog!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont get the gummsy budgy ...no idea lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont get the gummsy budgy ...no idea lol "

Try the pet shop in dundees forums centre then lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus walks into the inn and throws 3 nails on the bar.

Barman says "what can I do for you then Jesus"?

Jesus says " Just wondered if you could put me up for the night"

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By *illdeeCouple
over a year ago

nr Edinburgh

Children in Need yesterday!!!

Michelle MacManus sat in a bath o beans, wasnae for charity tho. It was her lunch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats blue and fucks your granny

hypothermia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats the difference between a bucket of sand and a bucket of afterbirth?

You can't gargle with a bucket of sand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats the similarity between Kojak and santa

they both have a beard except kojak, boom, boom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats brown and sticky??

A stick lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 snowmen in a garden....one say's to the other "can you smell carrots?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Indian on the karaoke....Gupta Singh

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

How many ears has star trek's Spock got?

A left ear, a right ear and........

a final front ear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont get the gummsy budgy ...no idea lol "

sucks seeds

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By *tworksMan
over a year ago

South Lanarkshire

What does a Blackpool donkey get for its lunch ?? .............. Half an hour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between a bucket of sand and a bucket of afterbirth?

You can't gargle with a bucket of sand

Fred u r one sick puppy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between a bucket of sand and a bucket of afterbirth?

You can't gargle with a bucket of sand

Fred u r one sick puppy"

Flattery will get you everywhere lol

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