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A Limerick for Wednesday.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok Guys and girls lets see all the budding poets out there.

As long as it rymthes post it.

There was a young lass from Fort Knox,

Who gave ten thousand men the pox.

Soldiers,Sailors, Men of homour.

Fought each other to get upon her.

Now she's dead and buried in Lincon,

They dug her up she is fooking stinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As i was walking past St Pauls

A woman grabbed me by the balls

I gave her a shilling and she was willing

I gave he a pound and she lay down

I gave her a slap and she opened her crack

So i shoved up a Union Jack

very jubilee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a young man called McKeen

Who invented a wanking machine

At the 99th stroke the fucking thing broke

And bashed his balls into ice cream.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Limericks have 5 lines.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Limericks have 5 lines."

Its a laugh if you dont like it dont read it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There was a young man from Calcutta,

who peeped through the hole in the shutter,

All he could see was his wifes bare knees,

And the balls of the man that was up her !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Limericks have 5 lines."

Says who?You an English professor?

Meter,rhythm,punchline!!!

That's what makes a limerick!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Limericks have 5 lines.

Says who?You an English professor?

Meter,rhythm,punchline!!!

That's what makes a limerick!!

"

Thanks rab comon its your turn lol

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

There once was a girl from fife,

Who gave me the ride of my life,

After some shaggin,

I did some braggin,

& now she's my trouble & strife

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

See! You CAN count to five.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a young woman from Bude

Who went to swim in the lake

A man in a punt stuck the pole up her nose

And said"You can't swim here it's private"!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Limericks have 5 lines."

that'll be the SNP's fault no doubt

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was a young woman from Bude

Who went to swim in the lake

A man in a punt stuck the pole up her nose

And said"You can't swim here it's private"!!"

hahhahhahahaha

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By *lasgowguy64Man
over a year ago

Hamilton


"There was a young woman from Bude

Who went to swim in the lake

A man in a punt stuck the pole up her nose

And said"You can't swim here it's private"!!"
damn, that was my one too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There was a young Lass from Madras,

Who fell asleep on the grass,

She woke with grunt,

And snake up her count,

And an elephants tusk up her arse.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

There was a happy we chap called Fred

whos been dying to get me into bed

hes funny and kind

but i think hes blind

so ive to him to wank instead

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was a happy we chap called Fred

whos been dying to get me into bed

hes funny and kind

but i think hes blind

so ive to him to wank instead "

I am not blind just wont wear my specs.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"There was a happy we chap called Fred

whos been dying to get me into bed

hes funny and kind

but i think hes blind

so ive to him to wank instead

I am not blind just wont wear my specs.

"
put ur specs on then and ul definatley have a wank instead hahaha

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

There was a lady called Nawty,

Who always showed off her botty.

Guys want to hump,

That round ass rump,

But they don't get to usually for various reasons, but one of those reasons is that they don't wash & in all honesty are rather grotty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little pig

It kept on fucking gruntin

She took it round the back one day

And kicked its fucking cuntin

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By *lassic1Man
over a year ago

bellshill

there was a young woman from Azores

Who's cunt was all covered in sores

The dogs in the street

Used to eat the green meat

That hung from a hole in her drawers.

Ooooh I feel ill now

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"there was a young woman from Azores

Who's cunt was all covered in sores

The dogs in the street

Used to eat the green meat

That hung from a hole in her drawers.

Ooooh I feel ill now "
ewwwww so do i

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i sat with the duchess at tea,

she said "do you fart when you pee"

i said with some wit

"do you belch when you shit"

and thought it was one up for me!

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I'm pretty shite on guitar,

In music I'll never go far.

But I'll make you cum,

When your pussy I strum,

& I play you like Mr Johnny Marr!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There once was a man called screwy Dick,

A man who was born with a Spiral Prick.

His life was spent in one long hunt,

To find the girl with the Spiral Cunt.

When he found her he dropped dead,

Cause that dam bitch had a left hand thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there once was a man named glass

with two balls made of solid brass

when they clanged together

they made stormy weather

and lightning blew out of his ass!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"there once was a man named glass

with two balls made of solid brass

when they clanged together

they made stormy weather

and lightning blew out of his ass!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There once was a man called screwy Dick,

A man who was born with a Spiral Prick.

His life was spent in one long hunt,

To find the girl with the Spiral Cunt.

When he found her he dropped dead,

Cause that dam bitch had a left hand thread "
Can we not use the "C " word please !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he didn't like my casserole,

and he didn't like my cake,

he sed my biscuits were too hard

not like his mother used to make.

i didnh't make the coffe right, he didn't like my stew.

i didn't fold his pants

the way his mother used to do.

i pondered for an answer

i was looking for a clue,

then i turned around n smacked him

like his mother used to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Limericks have 5 lines.

Its a laugh if you dont like it dont read it "

ffs,,,,dont fall out over a line!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I posted this thread to try and make the forum a wee bit cheerer as it ha sbeen a little down beat.

Now I will say this only once anyone that doesnt like what is getting written or anyone that doesnt like the no of lines in the said limericks /poems can go and take a running fook at themselves its a laugh nothing else. (If I get banned for this i am outa here)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted this thread to try and make the forum a wee bit cheerer as it ha sbeen a little down beat.

Now I will say this only once anyone that doesnt like what is getting written or anyone that doesnt like the no of lines in the said limericks /poems can go and take a running fook at themselves its a laugh nothing else. (If I get banned for this i am outa here) "

you wont,,,mods will just think its a shite limerick with over 5 lines,,,,lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I posted this thread to try and make the forum a wee bit cheerer as it ha sbeen a little down beat.

Now I will say this only once anyone that doesnt like what is getting written or anyone that doesnt like the no of lines in the said limericks /poems can go and take a running fook at themselves its a laugh nothing else. (If I get banned for this i am outa here)

you wont,,,mods will just think its a shite limerick with over 5 lines,,,,lol"

Disney yer needin help pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb

it wouldn't give her head

now it goes to school with her

between two slices of bread....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mary had a little lamb

it wouldn't give her head

now it goes to school with her

between two slices of bread...."

Kit now we will have the animal rights peeps on our case now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted this thread to try and make the forum a wee bit cheerer as it ha sbeen a little down beat.

Now I will say this only once anyone that doesnt like what is getting written or anyone that doesnt like the no of lines in the said limericks /poems can go and take a running fook at themselves its a laugh nothing else. (If I get banned for this i am outa here)

you wont,,,mods will just think its a shite limerick with over 5 lines,,,,lol

Disney yer needin help pmsl "

i cant believe the forums,,,,some people take it tooooo serious,,,,last night i posted some of the biggest pish my fingers have ever typed and i gotserious replys, even messages,,,,about me spreading my mums ashes over parkhead,,and selling her gold,,,,ffs people need to realise some posts are for FUNNNNNNN...lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I posted this thread to try and make the forum a wee bit cheerer as it ha sbeen a little down beat.

Now I will say this only once anyone that doesnt like what is getting written or anyone that doesnt like the no of lines in the said limericks /poems can go and take a running fook at themselves its a laugh nothing else. (If I get banned for this i am outa here)

you wont,,,mods will just think its a shite limerick with over 5 lines,,,,lol

Disney yer needin help pmsl

i cant believe the forums,,,,some people take it tooooo serious,,,,last night i posted some of the biggest pish my fingers have ever typed and i gotserious replys, even messages,,,,about me spreading my mums ashes over parkhead,,and selling her gold,,,,ffs people need to realise some posts are for FUNNNNNNN...lol "

Well its aboot time yeh were posting a limerick in my thread and keepin yer pish for yer own then llf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mary had a little lamb

it wouldn't give her head

now it goes to school with her

between two slices of bread....

Kit now we will have the animal rights peeps on our case now "
pmsl you want limmeric's or no???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mary had a little lamb

it wouldn't give her head

now it goes to school with her

between two slices of bread....

Kit now we will have the animal rights peeps on our case now pmsl you want limmeric's or no???"

OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh Yessssssssssss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there was a lassie from Scotland

she liked to be fucked hard and often

up the bum and the fanny

she thought it was canny

fir her there is nothing to shockin !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there was a man from leeds

who swallowed a packet of seeds

within half an hour

his dick was a flower

and his balls were covered in s....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There once was a man called Eugeene.

Who built a wanking machine.

On the 14th stroke, the fooking thing broke.

And whipped his balls into cream,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there was a young man from Kildare

who was having his girl on the stair

on the 44th stroke

the banaster broke

and he finished her off in mid air

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Old mother hubbard,went to the cupboard,

To fetch her poor dog a bone.

when she bent over.rover took over,

And gave her a bone of own

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Bigamy, they say, is a vice,

And more than one spouse is not nice,

But one is a bore,

I'd prefer three or four,

And the plural of spouse is spice?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

There was a young lady from Leith

Who would circumcise men with her teeth

It wasn't for fame

Or love of the game

But to get at the cheese underneath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there once was a girl called Alice

who used dynamite as a phallus

they found her vagina

in north carolina

and her asshole in Buckingham Palace

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There was a young man from Harrow.

Who's cock was as big as a marrow.

He said to his tart, try this for start,

My balls are outside in a barrow

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

there was ayoung lady in s pain who sat naked out in the rain it shrivelled her c--t so she never went back there again

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

and i no its no in lines cause i canny do them

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

And its no 5 lines

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a young lady on Fab

Who said she worked in a Lab

She checks mens cocks

To look for the pox

And if found she gives them a Jab

Boom, boom....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was a young lady on Fab

Who said she worked in a Lab

She checks mens cocks

To look for the pox

And if found she gives them a Jab

Boom, boom...."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There was a young lass called Molly.

who fancied a bit in a quarry.

She laid on her back,and opened her crack.

and the bastard backed in with a lorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once knew a couple who swing

While fucking they liked to sing

Obla dee, Obla dah

While in a bus or a car

And now they're called Ding, Ding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once knew a lady from Neath

Who nibbled mens cocks with her Teeth

She bit one guys Cock

Because it was like Rock

Who then killed her and sent her a Wreath

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thankyou all not bad for a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thankyou all not bad for a day.

"

Great fun...some hilarous limericks!!!

Can I throw this in!

Woman goes into a bar and asks for a double entendre.So the bar man gives her one!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"thankyou all not bad for a day.

Great fun...some hilarous limericks!!!

Can I throw this in!

Woman goes into a bar and asks for a double entendre.So the bar man gives her one!!!

"

ok I will keep it open just for you m8 lol

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