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They call me the sexgod

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’ve been told I’m on the level of like god, alah, Jesus.

I have made a girl cum just by looking at her in the eyes.

I have a boner that grows into Ben Nevis sometimes I need be careful incase it gets to big I will get frostbite.

It’s tough being me cos I fuck so hard I make the bed break n need to buy a new one every time I have sex.

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"I’ve been told I’m on the level of like god, alah, Jesus.

I have made a girl cum just by looking at her in the eyes.

I have a boner that grows into Ben Nevis sometimes I need be careful incase it gets to big I will get frostbite.

It’s tough being me cos I fuck so hard I make the bed break n need to buy a new one every time I have sex.

"

Hahaha nice one, wee man!

I’ll believe you when your balls drop

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It’s difficult, I also have extreme endurance I once swam the whole length of river clyde in 2 hours,

Along with that basically girls just fall asleep after the sex cos there so fucked, and one girl she actually quit her gym membership cos I tonned that ass up just from slapping the shit out it for 5 days straight and we only stopped cos we needed to eat n didn’t sleep for 5 days

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"It’s difficult, I also have extreme endurance I once swam the whole length of river clyde in 2 hours,

Along with that basically girls just fall asleep after the sex cos there so fucked, and one girl she actually quit her gym membership cos I tonned that ass up just from slapping the shit out it for 5 days straight and we only stopped cos we needed to eat n didn’t sleep for 5 days "

Hahaha great imagination. You’ll go far!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah I go very far, I can cum on demand, once my pals gf was pissing me off so just whipped it out n jizzed on her hand, me and pal knew from that moment on we was bhoys for life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s difficult, I also have extreme endurance I once swam the whole length of river clyde in 2 hours,

Along with that basically girls just fall asleep after the sex cos there so fucked, and one girl she actually quit her gym membership cos I tonned that ass up just from slapping the shit out it for 5 days straight and we only stopped cos we needed to eat n didn’t sleep for 5 days "

More likely to have fallen asleep from listening to your shite patter

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ouch that hurt ma heart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok if you say so OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think nobody should answer me tbh ??, I’m just bored n this website it’s pretty mad

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Didn’t mean question marks was trying out laughing face lol

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By *horman11Man
over a year ago

Thurso

Are u pissed or off your face lol

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)


"It’s difficult, I also have extreme endurance I once swam the whole length of river clyde in 2 hours,

Along with that basically girls just fall asleep after the sex cos there so fucked, and one girl she actually quit her gym membership cos I tonned that ass up just from slapping the shit out it for 5 days straight and we only stopped cos we needed to eat n didn’t sleep for 5 days "

Front stroke, breast stroke or back stroke.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The dolphin kick mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just had a right wee giggle at this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow all the ladies be flinging themselves at you. Your inbox be ful will be a tough desition for you to pick the lucky lady

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m here for a few jokes and giggles init haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Nahh not really haha think there bored of my patter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure all those wonderfull attributes you have will help you when you look like Peter Sutcliffe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure all those wonderfull attributes you have will help you when you look like Peter Sutcliffe. "

Christ you're right! He does look like Peter Sutcliffe!

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales


"I’ve been told I’m on the level of like god, alah, Jesus.

I have made a girl cum just by looking at her in the eyes.

I have a boner that grows into Ben Nevis sometimes I need be careful incase it gets to big I will get frostbite.

It’s tough being me cos I fuck so hard I make the bed break n need to buy a new one every time I have sex.

Hahaha nice one, wee man!

I’ll believe you when your balls drop "

Hahaha I was just about to make an age comment too

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales


"Not sure all those wonderfull attributes you have will help you when you look like Peter Sutcliffe.

Christ you're right! He does look like Peter Sutcliffe! "

Who

Away to google images

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure all those wonderfull attributes you have will help you when you look like Peter Sutcliffe.

Christ you're right! He does look like Peter Sutcliffe!

Who

Away to google images "

Me to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you missing me now

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No way he’s actual my dad lol haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But tbf tho I’m waiting to see when you become part of “one direction”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve been told I’m on the level of like god, alah, Jesus.

I have made a girl cum just by looking at her in the eyes.

I have a boner that grows into Ben Nevis sometimes I need be careful incase it gets to big I will get frostbite.

It’s tough being me cos I fuck so hard I make the bed break n need to buy a new one every time I have sex.

"

Is it the voices in your head that call you this or is it a recording in the sex dolls you have.

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