FabSwingers.com forum: Handy guide to bios

By *estless native OP Man
over a year ago

near Glasgow

Found on twitter but could also apply here, what would you add ?

Fun loving = Swinger

Open minded = Pervert

New here = Previously banned

Here to make friends = Also a swinger

I like to have a laugh = Mind numbingly boring

Sarcastic = Dickhead

Not looking for anything/Happily married = DM slider AND pervert

Ps its just for fun, im bored in hospital

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

GSOH = A fucking misery.

Alternative = Avoid like the fucking plague.

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Professional - a higher class of swinger.

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Kinky = doesn't known what kinky means

Sugarbaby = greedy bitch that wants paid.

Unicorn = up her own arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single Female = Dave the Trucker parked up in a lay -by looking for new wanking material.

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By *r3mrsCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Single Female = Dave the Trucker parked up in a lay -by looking for new wanking material."

sounds about right!

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Single Female = Dave the Trucker parked up in a lay -by looking for new wanking material."

Eh eh, I'm not a trucker. But I need an opinion on my new lipstick.

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By *estless native OP Man
over a year ago

near Glasgow

"Single Female = Dave the Trucker parked up in a lay -by looking for new wanking material.

Eh eh, I'm not a trucker. But I need an opinion on my new lipstick.

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Needs to be discreet = I'm ashamed to be here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Needs to be discreet = I'm ashamed to be here. "

Mention of a rabbit hole = one too many pegging sessions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seeks drama free = causes awww the drama

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Life and soul of the party = lives in his wankin chariot playing FIFA 22

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most laid back person ever = Complete stress bunny

Guaranteed to make you squirt - Will never make you cum, even with both hands and a torch

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By *eterPan21Man
over a year ago

Hamilton

Prefer to chat for a while before meeting = more likely to meet freddie Mercury

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most laid back person ever = Complete stress bunny

Guaranteed to make you squirt - Will never make you cum, even with both hands and a torch

I guarantee to make anyone squirt!

But only in a supersoaker fight

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Nice rack = can I shag you noo

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

"Needs to be discreet = I'm ashamed to be here.

Mention of a rabbit hole = one too many pegging sessions

Woman = possibly

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By *iltycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Greenock

That copyright disclaimer at the bottom of their profile - not just copied and pasted but researched thoroughly and should get in touch with me about a great money making pyramid opportunity.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I've never had any complaints = 2 pumps and a squirt.

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By *randmrsG123Couple
over a year ago

Port Glasgow

i can’t contribute to this but it’s fair made me laugh x

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

"That copyright disclaimer at the bottom of their profile - not just copied and pasted but researched thoroughly and should get in touch with me about a great money making pyramid opportunity.

That one is always great. If I see that I always think "this cunt believes anything she is told".

When you make your profile it tells you not to add it to your profile because it is a waste of time and only takes space on the server. Hha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quality over quantity- I don't get any and I'm pretending it's because I'm fussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Male half has permission to play alone'

There isn't a female and it's a fake couple to get round filters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alpha = prick

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By *apperMystiqueMan
over a year ago

east Glasgow

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By *apperMystiqueMan
over a year ago

east Glasgow

"Quality over quantity- I don't get any and I'm pretending it's because I'm fussy. "

Brilliant I must like quality over quantity too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dom -watched 50 shades and shops in b&q

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

NSA - closet puppet master

Discreet professional - on the dole

Gentleman (on my profile

) - dirty bastard

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By *lunder WomanWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Drama free...bitches about everyone

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By *pank-me-harderWoman
over a year ago

close to leven

Absolutely creased here

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By *reedyKWoman
over a year ago

Fife

Loving the Drama Free ones. Too funny!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be kind - is a mean person who can be not so nice to you or anyone but your not suppose to call them out on it.

if you cant handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best = bomb scare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be kind - is a mean person who can be not so nice to you or anyone but your not suppose to call them out on it.

if you cant handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best = bomb scare"

Aye, that last comment makes me cringe too. I've seen your supposed best pics on here pal. Bolt

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS
over a year ago

Perth

Cannot accommodate - married.

Professional - pretentious cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No boring first messages - I've never messaged first and even if you send me a well thought out message I'll reply monosyllabically and give you nothing to go on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No boring first messages - I've never messaged first and even if you send me a well thought out message I'll reply monosyllabically and give you nothing to go on.

That one rips my knitting too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have some class ladies, no gaping fanny pics" - 42 pics of his knob levitating above a lavvie that resembles the one from Trainspotting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know the score in here - do ya heck!

Cannot accommodate/daytime meets only - married!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No boring first messages - I've never messaged first and even if you send me a well thought out message I'll reply monosyllabically and give you nothing to go on.

That really rips ma knittin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of knitting getting ripped in here haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must know how to hold a conversation" = every sentence I send you back will contain no more than 2-4 words max!!

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By *I TwoCouple
over a year ago

PDI 12-26th Nov 24

Working my way through all the PM's = will someone please send me a pm

Thanks for all the fabs !! = Will someone please fab my pics

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By *innMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

Fill later - 12 months later nothing!

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By *iltycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Greenock

"Fill later - 12 months later nothing!"

Seen this on so many profiles!!

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By *lunder WomanWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Fill later - 12 months later nothing!"
lol this made me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is absolutely brilliant…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep it fun = drama Queen/King

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Cannot (insert activity here) due to the nature of my job. = I'm pretty sure everyone else's employer actively encourages non-monogamy and the presentation of one's genitalia across the internet.

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By *lunder WomanWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Keep it fun = drama Queen/King "

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

"547 profile views in 24 hours. Thanks guys" = My thirst trap status worked and everyone looked at my profile to see if I'd fuck them. Sadly none of the 547 sent a message because there is nothing interesting to see when they got there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband doesn’t know - Yes he does, he just likes to secretly watch on his hidden camera system while jerking off into your knickers while “your down the local with next doors Sharon”

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

If you only have dick pics on your profile I will block you = here is 72 pictures of my cooter meat because double standards.

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Extreme BBW = bring chips.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Female- have permission to play alone

Usually when he’s at work lol and he don’t have a clue !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight male= ashamed to have bi on profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""547 profile views in 24 hours. Thanks guys" = My thirst trap status worked and everyone looked at my profile to see if I'd fuck them. Sadly none of the 547 sent a message because there is nothing interesting to see when they got there"

Thirst trap status

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fun loving female = Hide your bunny and your stew pot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd just be watching as you have fun with my wife" = Just finished sound proofing his Joseph Fritzel style dungeon adorned with Fred West posters.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Willing to travel = every fecker about here knows I'm mental.

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By *lunder WomanWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back into my gym routine and loving it - I'll be arse deep into my 4th tub of Ben n Jerry's in 3 days time

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Party girl = hoor

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Seeking BBC = I'm a racist and perpetuate the only accepted racist stereotype.

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Must be VWE = I've got a fanny like a yawning hippo.

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Who will go round and fuck my husband while I'm at work = I'm a single guy who can't get a woman, pretending I'm a woman to trick a woman. I also have cats because at least I can then say I've seen a pussy before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who will go round and fuck my husband while I'm at work = I'm a single guy who can't get a woman, pretending I'm a woman to trick a woman. I also have cats because at least I can then say I've seen a pussy before. "

Love your contributions. They crack me up

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By *iltycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Greenock

I don't have a translation for this one but I've seen it on a couple of profiles now.

"Good Hygiene is important to us/ is a must"

Who is reading that going "well that's me out... I'm glad they said"

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

100% straight male = no I'm not.

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By *orge71Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Most laid back person ever = Complete stress bunny

Guaranteed to make you squirt - Will never make you cum, even with both hands and a torch

And a divers helmet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have a translation for this one but I've seen it on a couple of profiles now.

"Good Hygiene is important to us/ is a must"

Who is reading that going "well that's me out... I'm glad they said" "

Thought that too...

"...back to the drawing board then with my cheesy knob..."

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

To the front of the queue/no queue jumping/any mention of a queue = I'm a total gashbag of a person who thinks there is going to be a long line of people trying to get my attention.

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By *oreverplayfulCouple
over a year ago

motherwell

"Nice rack = can I shag you noo "

Why did I read this in a still game accent haha

C x

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Quality over quantity- I don't get any and I'm pretending it's because I'm fussy. "

Haha -busted

Off to rewrite profile

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Ffs can no one read a bio = my profile is so long winded and full of shit that people give up reading it after they eighth paragraph and decided to just chanve their luck with a polite message anyway. I am offended you haven't read every word before crafting an equally long first message to prove your worth to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration. "

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".

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By *randmrsG123Couple
over a year ago

Port Glasgow

To prove that you read my profile and you will do anything i say please message using the word “cheese” as the subject because you need to prove to me that you read my dull brining profile that as 10 paragraphs telling you what i don’t like!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine". "

Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".

Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY

Ohhh as in locally to ME!

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".

Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY

Ohhh as in locally to ME! "

Sooooo travel short distances then?

I really wish I could use the Travolta gif here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".

Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY

Ohhh as in locally to ME!

Sooooo travel short distances then?

I really wish I could use the Travolta gif here. "

YES!! god… was just saying to someone gifs and likes on comments would be good here…. Travolta gif… hmm can I google it???

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".

Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY

Ohhh as in locally to ME!

Sooooo travel short distances then?

I really wish I could use the Travolta gif here.

YES!! god… was just saying to someone gifs and likes on comments would be good here…. Travolta gif… hmm can I google it???

I'm not up to speed with your Google abilities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".

Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY

Ohhh as in locally to ME!

Sooooo travel short distances then?

I really wish I could use the Travolta gif here.

YES!! god… was just saying to someone gifs and likes on comments would be good here…. Travolta gif… hmm can I google it???

I'm not up to speed with your Google abilities"

You’re not up to speed with fab preferences… quid pro quo Clarice

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

If you don't have enough info on your profile you will be blocked = I'm the type of fucktard that expects people I meet in public to have a full biography pinned to their forehead before I acknowledge their "hello" because I have no social or communication skills and don't know how to hold a conversation to get to known anyone. Team instant gratification.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally

Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".

Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY

Ohhh as in locally to ME! "

Dear Google show me local hotels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/04/22 08:57:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Prefer to chat for a while before meeting = more likely to meet freddie Mercury"

And the winner goes too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most laid back person ever = Complete stress bunny

Guaranteed to make you squirt - Will never make you cum, even with both hands and a torch

Hahahaha

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Bubbly - big lass but vibe careful she may be hungry and not horny

Gym fit- Steroid fan Dan with spotty back and nae calf muscles

Professional - thinks that gets the ladies leaking like an old fridge.

Fuck off yer just wantin’’ yer hole like the rest of us.

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS
over a year ago

Perth

Male half allowed to play alone - there is no female half.

Been on before, know how it works - you left because you couldnt buy a meet, and or half the site blocked you, now your portraying yourself as a veteran thinking someone will falk for it.

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By *oudBeSurprisedMan
over a year ago

Fife

Athletic - I own a pair of gutties

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By *weetDreamsxpMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Athletic - I own a pair of gutties"

Several pairs actually

lol

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS
over a year ago

Perth

Ran out of messages = I'm a fucking pest.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I need to clear out ma friends n messages = I'm a Billy and please message me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No timewasters = like that will make them stop

I hate liars = who states on there profile that they like them?

Sydney institution crap on profiles = gullible

BDSM test results = I always skip it

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By *andsomegaz1Man
over a year ago

falkirk

Pmsl brilliant

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By *annyc1978Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Officially the best thread ever!

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By *iltycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Greenock

We both go to the gym regularly and like to take care of ourselves and we look for the same = No fattys

We have curves and bumps and if that's not for you.. = Cards on the table gym cunts, we're fattys.

We don't do (insert here). No judgement, just not for us = 100 percent judging you. You dirty dirty fucking deviants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Submissive = ...

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"We both go to the gym regularly and like to take care of ourselves and we look for the same = No fattys

We have curves and bumps and if that's not for you.. = Cards on the table gym cunts, we're fattys.

We don't do (insert here). No judgement, just not for us = 100 percent judging you. You dirty dirty fucking deviants. "

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By *erberaWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

This thread has brightened up my Sunday

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By *lunder WomanWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Extreme BBW = bring chips."

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By *nbhir Air DuineMan
over a year ago

Ayr

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By *eorgeGRMan
over a year ago

Livingston

Partner knows I’m here = Partner knows shit

Truthful and Honest = …compared to Boris Johnson

New profile, lost my verifications = old profile had exactly the same number of verifications as this; zero

Can’t meet at the drop of a hat = or any other article of clothing

You’re not allowed to use my pictures under the European Law, the Magna Carta, the 10 commandments and the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook = I have no idea how the internet works but this bit of text sounds cool and a lot of people use it so that makes it true, right?

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