FabSwingers.com forum: Advice to newbies in Scotland

By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

Hi everyone, I joined the site recently and I'm very new to the scene. Following a post from another newbie yesterday, and from my own experience, it's clear there are definitely better and worse ways to use Fab. (Not that any way is 'bad', so long as you aren't abusive or a douche bag!)

So my question is, what advice would you give to a newbie to get the most out of the site? Of course, that depends on what we're each looking for... But what do you see in newbie profiles that make you wince??

And what positive, helpful suggestions would you make, either for fab in general or for getting around the scene here (particularly for those like me who don't stay in Glasgow or Edinburgh)?

Lots of questions

tl;dr Any nuggets of advice for newbies here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the cyclist photos and dick pics down, no-one likes looking at helmets….

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Take the cyclist photos and dick pics down, no-one likes looking at helmets…."

A useful point, thanks! I did wonder about dick pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t use shite patter like ‘douchebag’.

This isn’t L.A in 1999.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Don’t use shite patter like ‘douchebag’.

This isn’t L.A in 1999.

Spoken like a douchebag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t use shite patter like ‘douchebag’.

This isn’t L.A in 1999.

Spoken like a douchebag

You are 57 and from Perth.

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By *40ffCouple
over a year ago

Anstruther

Make sure u go to socials and clubs and don't moan about it being to costly at clubs for men as this is your best way to get verifications imo

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Don’t use shite patter like ‘douchebag’.

This isn’t L.A in 1999.

Spoken like a douchebag

You are 57 and from Perth."

Ha ha, yes indeed. And we do get douchebags in Perth! (Sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t use shite patter like ‘douchebag’.

This isn’t L.A in 1999.

Spoken like a douchebag

I was there for a couple days a few months ago.

For the most part you were all absolutely lovely.

You are 57 and from Perth.

Ha ha, yes indeed. And we do get douchebags in Perth! (Sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinion

Agree with take the knobshots down leave them in your private gallery for any weirdo that actually asks to see them

Also your profile is way too long nobody is gonna read all that.

Keep it short and sweet with some key likes/dislikes and ultimately what your looking for.

Good luck

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By *assNGuyCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Make sure u go to socials and clubs and don't moan about it being to costly at clubs for men as this is your best way to get verifications imo "

Was going to say similar to this

As single guy, best way is to get your face out there and known.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Make sure u go to socials and clubs and don't moan about it being to costly at clubs for men as this is your best way to get verifications imo "

Thanks. It looks like some organisation and planning is needed for clubs, as the single men tickets sell out quickly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be proactive, as others have said join in the forums, get out to clubs and socials and don't expect things to come to you (unless you're a woman in which case you'll be swamped with offers).

Dick pics and action shots are not what most people enjoy so save those for friends only if you really want to show them off.

A bit of personality in your profile is good but if it's too long people will just get bored and wander off.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"My opinion

Agree with take the knobshots down leave them in your private gallery for any weirdo that actually asks to see them

Also your profile is way too long nobody is gonna read all that.

Keep it short and sweet with some key likes/dislikes and ultimately what your looking for.

Good luck

Thanks!

Knobshots gone, ha ha!

A rambling profile does sort of sum me up... But I'll try to tidy it a bit once I feel I know what I'm doing here. And I probably won't know that til I've met and chatted to people at socials.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Make sure u go to socials and clubs and don't moan about it being to costly at clubs for men as this is your best way to get verifications imo

Was going to say similar to this

As single guy, best way is to get your face out there and known. "

Thanks. Yes! I'm getting the feeling that there's the 'meat market' element of the site, which is no fun at all. And then there's a whole different one made up of real people making real connections (and hopefully having a lot of real fun).

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Be proactive, as others have said join in the forums, get out to clubs and socials and don't expect things to come to you (unless you're a woman in which case you'll be swamped with offers).

Dick pics and action shots are not what most people enjoy so save those for friends only if you really want to show them off.

A bit of personality in your profile is good but if it's too long people will just get bored and wander off. "

Thanks!

Tbh, there's plenty of interest from guys... which I don't mind. But there's so many dicks, and so little else! So I can only imagine how much more unasked for attention that there is for women on the site.

And yes, my personality is a rambler (with adhd

), so I guess my profile does sort of show that. But I admit it could be edited down and made easier to read. I'm beginning to see how well other people do this... and will take note. Ty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have very little expectation of meeting anyone , there are thousands of single men and single men pretending to be a couple

It’s hard enough meeting people from here as a couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always wear a jumper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always wear a jumper

And don't eat yellow snow.

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By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm fairly new to the scene as well and found it really difficult to start with. When online it's tough to stand out.

I went along to CJ's and made sure I went along to the pre-drinks and got to speak to a load of people. Once you have made that initial introduction it's a lot easier to message as the person knows you are real and you aren't some faceless profile.

Get along to socials and meet people face to face. It makes a massive difference

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

I really don't think there is any secret formula for successon here, just be yourself. If your profile reflects who you are then I wouldn't change it just to please others. I do agree that public dick pics aren't needed, and will put some people off.

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By *ruetothisMan
over a year ago

Be yourself and be genuine when speaking to people. No one wants a ‘hi’ followed by a dick pic.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Have very little expectation of meeting anyone , there are thousands of single men and single men pretending to be a couple

It’s hard enough meeting people from here as a couple "

Thanks! That's bleak, but I understand what you mean

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Always wear a jumper

Definitely need one today

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Always wear a jumper

And don't eat yellow snow. "

Ha ha! Unless you're into (frozen) water sports

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"I'm fairly new to the scene as well and found it really difficult to start with. When online it's tough to stand out.

Get along to socials and meet people face to face. It makes a massive difference "

Thanks. That's useful, as my next question was really which clubs would people recommend. CJs sounds a good place to start (when I can get a ticket)

It's good that there's a pre drinks meet up before the club.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"I really don't think there is any secret formula for successon here, just be yourself. If your profile reflects who you are then I wouldn't change it just to please others. I do agree that public dick pics aren't needed, and will put some people off.

Thanks, it's funny that when I first came on the site it seemed that the dick pics were expected in the profile - perhaps cos everybody else has them.

I didn't mind, cos I get a kick/kink from the exhibitionism.

But when I saw so many guys who were just dicks and nothing else (in all senses) I began to wonder.

The consensus here is strong on that. Keep your dick off your public gallery!

And I completely agree about being yourself. That's why I like the site, to be myself (as a person) in this sex positive environment.

It's very very useful though to read how other people see things, who've been around here for a while. Thanks to all for the advice

In the end, I don't think it's about 'success' anyway, it's about meeting people and getting into the corner of the social scene that works for me, and making friends. That's what I'm hoping for anyway.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"I'm fairly new to the scene as well and found it really difficult to start with. When online it's tough to stand out.

Get along to socials and meet people face to face. It makes a massive difference

Thanks. That's useful, as my next question was really which clubs would people recommend. CJs sounds a good place to start (when I can get a ticket)

It's good that there's a pre drinks meet up before the club.

Thanks to the prompt, I've put my name on the waiting list for a single guy ticket to ekklesia at the end of the month. Fingers crossed. Hopefully I'll get one for May otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

get verified asap ive been on here for years deleted my account during covid and recently joined back and no one will take you serious unless you can shiw verifications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself. Don’t be fake!

Also take no for an answer!

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Be honest."

Thanks. My neurodivergent mind thinks yes of course, everybody tries to be honest. But the problem is that not everybody else does!

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Just be yourself. Don’t be fake!

Also take no for an answer!"

Thanks!

Ewch, yes. I see a lot of people have to explain on their profiles that a no just means no. There's enough aggro in the world without that to add to it.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"get verified asap ive been on here for years deleted my account during covid and recently joined back and no one will take you serious unless you can shiw verifications."

Thanks. I'll just have to work on that. I'm not in a rush anyway.

As someone said above, hopefully going to a club or social will help with this.

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By *axPerth OP Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Be proactive, as others have said join in the forums, get out to clubs and socials and don't expect things to come to you (unless you're a woman in which case you'll be swamped with offers).

Dick pics and action shots are not what most people enjoy so save those for friends only if you really want to show them off.

A bit of personality in your profile is good but if it's too long people will just get bored and wander off. "

Just saw your About Me on your profile Squiggle, lmao!!

Truly inspirational

. That's the one to aspire to

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