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Worst Sexual Accident

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What’s the worst accident/injury you’ve ever had during sex?

Mines was years ago when I was seeing a woman who was a bit of a cat lady. We were having a bit of a break and I sat on a chair (starters) and was chatting away. Unbeknown to me the cat was directly underneath the chair and the sight of my “family jewels” dangling in the air was just too much for the cat to resist and it set about the old scrotum with gusto. The attack only lasted about 2 seconds but what a mauling my bollocks got. Needless to say I have had a deep seated loathing of cats ever since. Sleekit feline barstewards that they are.

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I love my pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love my pussy"

Me too...(my moggy though I'm sure yours is gorgeous )

OP...was about to lose my shit if you hurt the wee moggy. Glad to hear you took the scrotum mauling like a man.

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"I love my pussy

Me too...(my moggy though I'm sure yours is gorgeous )

OP...was about to lose my shit if you hurt the wee moggy. Glad to hear you took the scrotum mauling like a man. "

Got to respect the felines!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I love my pussy

Me too...(my moggy though I'm sure yours is gorgeous )

OP...was about to lose my shit if you hurt the wee moggy. Glad to hear you took the scrotum mauling like a man. "

Who says I took it like a man. I gret my eyes out like a school wean and was walking like John Wayne for about a fortnight afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was about 21 my ex and me stumbled in from a night out absolutely hammered and decided to go for it without any really foreplay.

Snapped banjo string.

Horrible.

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By *estless nativeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

Once in a previous lifetime, I was a cat.

My female human brought a guy home who sat down and dangled a toy off the chair for me, so I did what cats do.

The wee fanny screamed and cried like a 6 year old girl who lost their favourite my little pony

My human thought it was so funny that I got proper salmon for my dinner the next night

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By *easertam4Man
over a year ago

The Borough Hotel Lancaster

Davie and I were playing with a lady one night, I was down on her while Davie was getting sucked, she was rubbing her clit frantically and I was eating like a "dug eating Beetroot", I caught site of Davie who was horrified and signalling me to stop by chopping his hand across his throat (signalling for me to stop) my face was covered in blood, but not from what mother nature brings, but from her brand new nails that slit my top lip as she was rubbing and I was munching.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ripped bajo string during oral sex, she sucked and pulled in 2 different directions Iand I felt a sharp pain. I had to slap her to stop her sucking

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Gent...."missed" his entry point... one hospital trip later, I was 4 stitches in and in screaming agony... needless to say... anal is well off the menu for me now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When irn bru bottles had the tin tops with the little jaggy bits on them, my then girlfriend thought it would be a jolly jape to place it full force on the top of my pussy plunderer. It was very painful and two little cuts didn't help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Davie and I were playing with a lady one night, I was down on her while Davie was getting sucked, she was rubbing her clit frantically and I was eating like a "dug eating Beetroot", I caught site of Davie who was horrified and signalling me to stop by chopping his hand across his throat (signalling for me to stop) my face was covered in blood, but not from what mother nature brings, but from her brand new nails that slit my top lip as she was rubbing and I was munching. "

We all need a Davie in our life

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"dug eating Beetroot" I haven’t heard this saying in years….nearly lost a mouthful of tea! lol

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

I’ll (Mr) tell this before Mrs does.

We were having a grand old time just the two of us and Mrs was ‘bouncin aww over it’. She must have rose up too high before pushing back down, my cock was out and then she slammed down.

The pain was excruciating and I genuinely thought my cock had halved in two. I screamed so loud.

My cock had every shade of black, purple and yellow

On it for a few weeks.

Ouch.

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Davie and I were playing with a lady one night, I was down on her while Davie was getting sucked, she was rubbing her clit frantically and I was eating like a "dug eating Beetroot", I caught site of Davie who was horrified and signalling me to stop by chopping his hand across his throat (signalling for me to stop) my face was covered in blood, but not from what mother nature brings, but from her brand new nails that slit my top lip as she was rubbing and I was munching.

We all need a Davie in our life "

I’ll second that! Hi Davie

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"I’ll (Mr) tell this before Mrs does.

We were having a grand old time just the two of us and Mrs was ‘bouncin aww over it’. She must have rose up too high before pushing back down, my cock was out and then she slammed down.

The pain was excruciating and I genuinely thought my cock had halved in two. I screamed so loud.

My cock had every shade of black, purple and yellow

On it for a few weeks.

Ouch. "

Does it work now?

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow


"I’ll (Mr) tell this before Mrs does.

We were having a grand old time just the two of us and Mrs was ‘bouncin aww over it’. She must have rose up too high before pushing back down, my cock was out and then she slammed down.

The pain was excruciating and I genuinely thought my cock had halved in two. I screamed so loud.

My cock had every shade of black, purple and yellow

On it for a few weeks.

Ouch.

Does it work now?"

Yes. It was about ten years ago and not long after we got together. If it didn’t work then I doubt we’d have lasted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend had his fingers deep inside me but turned out he had a split/broken nail. Cue lots of bleeding from me and no more play. Well not until morning anyway

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By *exy wife and her CuckCouple
over a year ago

Angus

We were getting down and frisky one evening, I put on a metal cock ring before giving it my all but I slipped out and bashed off her body, cricked the little soldiers neck a little but got back down to it thinking nothing of it.

The big mistake was then falling asleep with ring still on. Woke up next morning swollen to hell! Really didn't fancy a trip to a+e so set aboot it myself. After 2 hours and a LOT of freaking out I managed to remove it using a dish cloth and 2 cutlery knifes to protect the sensitive area and a dremmel with cutting disks to cut through it

Will never use a metal cock ring again!

D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I burst the banjo string recently and tore the foreskin. Blood pissing out all over the place like the leckie for a ghostbusters gun. She was freaking out asking if the blood was her and I had to politely and calmly explain that there was a valid reason as to why I was squeaking like a dying goat.

Operation at the end of the month to whip it all off.

I also have an anal one however I do want to actually continue meeting other people from the site going forward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We decided to have a quickie outdoors, I wasn't ready and he wasn't small. I split like a hot knife through butter and we walked home like something out of a horror movie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh as I was reminded last night I had a bit of a rough session with a girl on here. Got so carried away that I slipped out and drove my cock straight into her clit almost snapping me in 2 the pain was excruciating to say the least

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh as I was reminded last night I had a bit of a rough session with a girl on here. Got so carried away that I slipped out and drove my cock straight into her clit almost snapping me in 2 the pain was excruciating to say the least"

Who reminded you Odbin?

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"We decided to have a quickie outdoors, I wasn't ready and he wasn't small. I split like a hot knife through butter and we walked home like something out of a horror movie. "

Aww naw! Sitting here with my legs tightly shut and a sick feeling in my tummy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We decided to have a quickie outdoors, I wasn't ready and he wasn't small. I split like a hot knife through butter and we walked home like something out of a horror movie.

Aww naw! Sitting here with my legs tightly shut and a sick feeling in my tummy!"

You watching Mrs Browns Boys?

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"We decided to have a quickie outdoors, I wasn't ready and he wasn't small. I split like a hot knife through butter and we walked home like something out of a horror movie.

Aww naw! Sitting here with my legs tightly shut and a sick feeling in my tummy!

You watching Mrs Browns Boys?"

Never watched it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh as I was reminded last night I had a bit of a rough session with a girl on here. Got so carried away that I slipped out and drove my cock straight into her clit almost snapping me in 2 the pain was excruciating to say the least

Who reminded you Odbin?"

My wife.lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh as I was reminded last night I had a bit of a rough session with a girl on here. Got so carried away that I slipped out and drove my cock straight into her clit almost snapping me in 2 the pain was excruciating to say the least

Who reminded you Odbin?

My wife.lol"

How did that crop up?

“Want a cuppa?”

“I’m alright dear, but mind that time you snapped your banjostring banging someone else?”

“Aye, any Michael McIntyre on tonight?”

“Don’t think so”

“You checked UK Gold?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh as I was reminded last night I had a bit of a rough session with a girl on here. Got so carried away that I slipped out and drove my cock straight into her clit almost snapping me in 2 the pain was excruciating to say the least

Who reminded you Odbin?

My wife.lol

How did that crop up?

“Want a cuppa?”

“I’m alright dear, but mind that time you snapped your banjostring banging someone else?”

“Aye, any Michael McIntyre on tonight?”

“Don’t think so”

“You checked UK Gold?”"

You know that's almost exactly how it happened.lol we were talking about those post and she mentioned it after telling me about the 4 stitches which I'm still wincing at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from some really bad carpet burns I've been relatively accident free during sex.

I gave myself a mild concussion whilst trying to impress a cam partner and give him a better view though. Toppled the chair right over and ended up on the floor.

Mr nearly had a heart attack laughing.

The guy on cam didn't miss a fucking stroke though.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Surprised no one’s owned up to an unexpected outcome 40 weeks later .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surprised no one’s owned up to an unexpected outcome 40 weeks later . "

Hardly going to be unexpected when you’re twice the size, suffered morning sickness and wanting to eat weird shit. Unless of course you’re one of the 2% where you don’t realise your pregnant

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By *ndyman76Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 18/03/22 20:36:08]

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By *ndyman76Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 18/03/22 20:36:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll (Mr) tell this before Mrs does.

We were having a grand old time just the two of us and Mrs was ‘bouncin aww over it’. She must have rose up too high before pushing back down, my cock was out and then she slammed down.

The pain was excruciating and I genuinely thought my cock had halved in two. I screamed so loud.

My cock had every shade of black, purple and yellow

On it for a few weeks.

Ouch. "

Thats happened to me twice - its horrible!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surprised no one’s owned up to an unexpected outcome 40 weeks later . "

Ahh well you see, I got the snip done back in 2010 because I no longer wanted kids. Quite disappointed though as when I got home they were still there..

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow


"Surprised no one’s owned up to an unexpected outcome 40 weeks later .

Ahh well you see, I got the snip done back in 2010 because I no longer wanted kids. Quite disappointed though as when I got home they were still there.."

Darned pesky those rugrats .

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By *unCpl1003Couple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Girl sucked me off and she had a tongue piercing and cut my dick to fuck, Any time i got hard it stung like you wouldn’t believe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surprised no one’s owned up to an unexpected outcome 40 weeks later .

Ahh well you see, I got the snip done back in 2010 because I no longer wanted kids. Quite disappointed though as when I got home they were still there.."

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By *weetDreamsxpMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

After a night out, then tanking a bottle of absinthe after at a party, came up the road with an ex.

He lowered himself on about halfway then fell off to the side, just about snapped me in 2.

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By *weetDreamsxpMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Girl sucked me off and she had a tongue piercing and cut my dick to fuck, Any time i got hard it stung like you wouldn’t believe "

Ha similar. Ball came off the tongue piercing, tip of the bar rubbing me for about 10 mins up the side. Asked why I never said, just said had worse, lol

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