FabSwingers.com forum: Funny sayings

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What funny sayings have you heard people say that’s stuck with you. My favourite is

Drinking Non alcoholic beer is like giving your sister a lickout

It tastes the same but it’s just not right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't say boo to a goose (why would you?)

Life of riley (who was riley)

Happy as Larry ( who is larry and why is he happy?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm good friends with Larry and I can confirm he is indeed pretty much happy all the time. It's probably cause his good lady is a great person and a right bit of stuff!! They make a great couple actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm good friends with Larry and I can confirm he is indeed pretty much happy all the time. It's probably cause his good lady is a great person and a right bit of stuff!! They make a great couple actually. "

That explains it, lucky swine!

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By *estless nativeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

Wouldn't say boo to a goose (why would you?)

Its the only way to get the noisy buggers to shut up.

Life of riley (who was riley)

Mrs Riley's favourite son, he could get away with murder

Happy as Larry ( who is larry and why is he happy?)

Larry Foley, 19/20th century boxer who earned £1000 per fight, retired young & wealthy

One of these answers is true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't say boo to a goose (why would you?)

Its the only way to get the noisy buggers to shut up.

Life of riley (who was riley)

Mrs Riley's favourite son, he could get away with murder

Happy as Larry ( who is larry and why is he happy?)

Larry Foley, 19/20th century boxer who earned £1000 per fight, retired young & wealthy

One of these answers is true"

Its a trick question none are true. On yer bike Wolfman or is it Clown?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Larry Foley was indeed an Australian prize fighter who fought before modern day Queensbury Rules were introduced

In one fight that was considered the Middleweight World title he was paid £500

He would come out of retirement to fight with gloves under the new rules where again he earned £500

Out of a career lasting 21 fights he earned £1,000 for just 2 of them

Surprising over a century later most boxers with his record are still not fighting for £500 a fight

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By *andy_FraserTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

From everyone's Mum;

"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner"

From every UK Based reality show, where someone is trying to make a useless point;

"At the end of the day"

I always reply with "You go to bed" when that expression ever comes up on any of my girlfriend's fave shows.

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By *ewfie02Couple
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"From everyone's Mum;

"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner"

From every UK Based reality show, where someone is trying to make a useless point;

"At the end of the day"

I always reply with "You go to bed" when that expression ever comes up on any of my girlfriend's fave shows."

Also from some mothers,

If you fall off and break your legs don't come running to me for sympathy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From everyone's Mum;

"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner"

From every UK Based reality show, where someone is trying to make a useless point;

"At the end of the day"

I always reply with "You go to bed" when that expression ever comes up on any of my girlfriend's fave shows."

You forgot to add "It is what it is.". Hear that one alot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really funny ones, but ones I like.

"You cannot hold what is not in your hand" - Granny Muff after she had farted.

"Fuck 'em. If they're talking about you, they're leaving someone else alone" - also Granny Muff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does he/she think I came up the Clyde in a banana boat.

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By *assNGuyCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Does he/she think I came up the Clyde in a banana boat."

Quite a few these ring true in my childhood but yeah regularly heard the banana boat on Clyde from my father, ahhh the memories, lol.

Guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From everyone's Mum;

"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner"

From every UK Based reality show, where someone is trying to make a useless point;

"At the end of the day"

I always reply with "You go to bed" when that expression ever comes up on any of my girlfriend's fave shows.

Also from some mothers,

If you fall off and break your legs don't come running to me for sympathy."

I was always a fan of the line "do you want me to give you something to cry for"...there was no safe answer lol

I love the Scottish saying "up tae high doh", yet to see low doh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my sister and I would complain Calimero style on my Mum's ruling "...but that's not fair" she would baffle us by coming back with "neither's the hair on a black man's head"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Away and bile your heed. W t f

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When my sister and I would complain Calimero style on my Mum's ruling "...but that's not fair" she would baffle us by coming back with "neither's the hair on a black man's head"

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

"What funny sayings have you heard people say that’s stuck with you. My favourite is

Drinking Non alcoholic beer is like giving your sister a lickout

It tastes the same but it’s just not right "

Hahaha wonder if you know me cause that’s my fave everyone else hates lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sure he's my best mates ex lol

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By *uboCouple
over a year ago

East kilbride

Don't call the crocodile big gub till you're across the water

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To quote Billy Connelly

After being slapped by your mum do you want some more?

Would kick in the testicle be out of the question

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By *cotsboyMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Fits for you wina go by you is a favourite

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By *AF2020Couple
over a year ago

Central Scotland

"Away and bile your heed. W t f "

To make daft soup!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Face like a skelpt arse

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By *andy_FraserTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

One a childhood friend used, that I always found funny, was;

"Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“If yer Ma had baws, She’d be yer da”

Although these days it would still be yer Ma cos you’d be accused of having a phobia of some kind.

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By *ersatile-1Man
over a year ago

stirlingshire

Heard a wee poem in the wireless the other day called “it’s better than having a slater run up your nose”

Made me smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's as wet as an Otters paws

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wetter than an otters pocket

Lower than a snakes belly

Do you think I came down in the last rain shower

There my top 3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wetter than an otters pocket

Lower than a snakes belly

Do you think I came down in the last rain shower

There my top 3 "

I didna come down the Clyde in a banana boat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

“You’re throwing money about like a guy with no arms”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“You’re throwing money about like a guy with no arms” "

Never heard that one. But "you must think I hae money gowong out my arse" was a favourite of my granny's

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By *utcock61Man
over a year ago

glasgow

dont come running to me if you break your leg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m away out to see a blind man about a deaf dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the weather changes your face will stay that way.

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By *cottishMrsWoman
over a year ago

Wishaw

Anyone else love "heid-the-baw" as an insult?xx

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By *ueen CatWoman
over a year ago

fife

'Away n take yer puss fir a shite'

Never used it but think it's hilarious

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By *ueen CatWoman
over a year ago

fife

"dont come running to me if you break your leg.

Haha old school

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see said the blind man who walked away with no legs.

Something my mother and gran used to say

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I got a meet on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Touch wood. Oh matron. Come on then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else love "heid-the-baw" as an insult?xx"

A good one.

Do like walloper and bawbag too.

He's as much use as a chocolate teapot.

She's got a face like a blistered pisspot.

And a question from mother to child 'Who's she? The cat's mother?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both of these would be directed towards people you didn’t like:

1) Wouldn’t give him/her daylight in a dark tunnel

2) Wouldn’t give him her the steam aff ma p&@h/sh&t

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By *apperMystiqueMan
over a year ago

east Glasgow

Jesus Mary joseph and the wee donkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jesus Mary joseph and the wee donkey"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll wipe that smile right off your face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He/she would get a piece at anybody’s door - inferring that the pesto on in question is blessed with loads of good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes allsorts to make a liquorice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you think my head zips up the back.

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By *bcums3Couple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

"Anyone else love "heid-the-baw" as an insult?xx"

Haha this is still used in my house

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