FabSwingers.com forum: We don't talk anymore

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We along with many others no doubt get lots of winks, friend invites and 'lookers' but not many messages to go along with them, has the art of communication really died on here or did lockdown put paid to that as no point messaging when no one could meet up?

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By *iscodavieno1Man
over a year ago

dunbar

Yep I know that feeling or you get sorry not my type without even chatting to you I don’t think I’m that bad looking . But a lot of people on here a bit picky ok I’m married and that is an issue with some people and i understand that !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s more a case off everyone is talked out with lockdowns

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By *iscodavieno1Man
over a year ago

dunbar

I get that but still shouldn’t stop people from talking or they do chat then not bother replying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty sure people do still talk

Maybe they just don't talk to you

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I get involved in lots of conversations. I haven’t seen a decline in chat, but I am a sociable sort. Conversation is a two way street and you only get out what you put in.

As for being picky, damn right!

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By *iscodavieno1Man
over a year ago

dunbar

Ha ha yeah I understand being picky but some people don’t give some a chance and when a conversation is going well and yes it takes two then they stop messaging you ?? Lol

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Ha ha yeah I understand being picky but some people don’t give some a chance and when a conversation is going well and yes it takes two then they stop messaging you ?? Lol "

You don’t know the person you are messaging’s circumstances. There may be unknown reasons for them ceasing contact or maybe they just didn’t like you and didn’t want to waste their time gabbing to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm pretty sure people do still talk

Maybe they just don't talk to you "

You maybe right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say if they don't talk.

There not interested.

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By *oxyFemme72Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I'm pretty sure people do still talk

Maybe they just don't talk to you "

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get involved in lots of conversations. I haven’t seen a decline in chat, but I am a sociable sort. Conversation is a two way street and you only get out what you put in.

As for being picky, damn right! "

Did I not say that to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think guys get fed up not getting replies so the wink option is maybe a way to see if any mutual interest is there

I do agree (kinda) about conversation or lack of it.. I lose interest quickly if it turns to sex or it's a "hi how's you" everyday and nothing else

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I get involved in lots of conversations. I haven’t seen a decline in chat, but I am a sociable sort. Conversation is a two way street and you only get out what you put in.

As for being picky, damn right!

Did I not say that to you

I wouldn’t know.

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By *iscodavieno1Man
over a year ago

dunbar

Yeah it’s a two way conversation and keeping it flowing is the main thing and your correct it isn’t always about sex but it can be annoying at times when you do have a conversation then it stops I get that people might not be interested but it’s just a bit rude lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah it’s a two way conversation and keeping it flowing is the main thing and your correct it isn’t always about sex but it can be annoying at times when you do have a conversation then it stops I get that people might not be interested but it’s just a bit rude lol "
not nit picking here, but what's rude about it if they aren't interested?

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does get a bit disheartening when you don't get any replies. I know its just the nature of the site.

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By *omethingDifferent4FunWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh-ish

I never know how to politely end/turn down a conversation.

It feels more rude to me to effectively (no matter how politely you try to phrase it) say "I don't fancy you".

And the biggest problem is everyone reacts differently. I've tried "sorry not for me but good luck" or similar and had "thanks good luck to you too" back, but more often than not it's met with "why" or "but our chat was good, you need to give me a chance" or the good old abusive replies back.

Sometimes a conversation just tails off. And sometimes it can be picked up at a later date and progress, and other times it just wasn't meant to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens."

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt.

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By *stonDBS2Man
over a year ago

Kirkcaldy

"We along with many others no doubt get lots of winks, friend invites and 'lookers' but not many messages to go along with them, has the art of communication really died on here or did lockdown put paid to that as no point messaging when no one could meet up? "

It is odd, not odd but a bit of a double edged sward, with lockdown creating a type of boredom you would think people would just enjoy a chat,increase and appreciate simply hearing from others generally.

Looking back over the past 2 years,

that never happened,but as been said, its a two way thing and i often opted to simply not bother/trying striking up any kind of chat/conversation.

Honest if nowt else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt. "

I find it hard to believe people think you are a rude cunt

maybe they just don't know the 'real' you.

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By *4Fun11Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt. "

You tell em!

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By *iscodavieno1Man
over a year ago

dunbar

Yes you all have good answers and yes true in which you all say we all have our own opinions In that situation lol think I’ve started something a wee debate lol but it’s good to know how others feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt.

I find it hard to believe people think you are a rude cunt

maybe they just don't know the 'real' you.

You're sweet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think lockdown helped. But some people are better at conversation others. A lot also depends on the replies you get to keep the conversation flowing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt.

I find it hard to believe people think you are a rude cunt

maybe they just don't know the 'real' you.

Yeah if they knew the real person they would know she's an extremely rude cunt

But really I would never describe you as a rude cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Conversation can dry up for one reason or another but I personally do feel that the communication has dwindled over the last year. Seems to me that not everyone is even chatting on the forum much now either and when they do, well, it's kind of stilted in a way. It's become "flat", not as light hearted like it's in previous times and it's got nothing to do with Covid x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt.

I find it hard to believe people think you are a rude cunt

maybe they just don't know the 'real' you.

Yeah if they knew the real person they would know she's an extremely rude cunt

But really I would never describe you as a rude cunt.

Shite cook though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Conversation can dry up for one reason or another but I personally do feel that the communication has dwindled over the last year. Seems to me that not everyone is even chatting on the forum much now either and when they do, well, it's kind of stilted in a way. It's become "flat", not as light hearted like it's in previous times and it's got nothing to do with Covid x"

Yeah I have to agree with you on that one, not like "The Good Ole Days" anymore unfortunately but we can only hope it changes x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt.

I find it hard to believe people think you are a rude cunt

maybe they just don't know the 'real' you.

Yeah if they knew the real person they would know she's an extremely rude cunt

But really I would never describe you as a rude cunt.

Shite cook though

Food is over rated lol

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Canny beat a wee blether

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt. "

Lol I’ve had that many times. Don’t they realise I’m not sitting on Fab 24/7 just waiting on their messages? They sound like needy guys before even meeting them. Block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Canny beat a wee blether "

You don't shut up though!

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

"Canny beat a wee blether

You don't shut up though!

The world would be a better place if everyone listened to me

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Canny beat a wee blether

You don't shut up though!

Don’t let him take you for a cup of tea. It’ll cost you!

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Canny beat a wee blether

You don't shut up though!

The world would be a better place if everyone listened to me

Aye, but would it?

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

My patter is priceless to both your comments lololololol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see it as being rude. You are two strangers on the internet. Real life takes over, it happens.

This.

If I've had a really busy, shit day and I eventually log on to be met with "...you not talking now?", the response is invariably " fucking do one pal".

But I am universally known as a rude cunt.

I find it hard to believe people think you are a rude cunt

maybe they just don't know the 'real' you.

Yeah if they knew the real person they would know she's an extremely rude cunt

But really I would never describe you as a rude cunt.

Shite cook though

Food is over rated lol"

The loss of taste and smell with covid has really helped her cooking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, as I recently explained to someone..

Occupied full time in a role that has me stressed out of my fucking tits most days.

I have a partner (happy for 26yrs) and two kids.

I help care for my elderly parents.

Going for a shite without an interruption or phone call from someone wanting something counts as "Me" time.

I'm possibly not the best candidate as a partner in crime or a pen pal.

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By *bzboy66Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Its far easier to hit the wink button rather than construct a meaningful message that's for sure. However by now the male population on here should know that winking won't get you far along the road to Fab happyness.(spelt it wrong as the correct spelling doesn't look right) As for the decline in the art of conversation on here, I can only speak from a male perspective - after a while on here most males accept that sending messages is mostly a waste of time (unless its a comedy reply to a forum issue). Most messages go unanswered, probably 9 out of 10, and blokes slowly come to the conclusion that no matter how well constructed a message is, it will go in the message dustbin unanswered. That in turn leads to less and less effort expended in penning an opening message. I and most others would prefer a nice decline. You get no hassle from me and the world moves on. Those that get abusive can be dealt with a simple block. Me, I find otherways to make fab work.

Don't shoot the messanger - that's my take on it.

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky

"Its far easier to hit the wink button rather than construct a meaningful message that's for sure. However by now the male population on here should know that winking won't get you far along the road to Fab happyness.(spelt it wrong as the correct spelling doesn't look right) As for the decline in the art of conversation on here, I can only speak from a male perspective - after a while on here most males accept that sending messages is mostly a waste of time (unless its a comedy reply to a forum issue). Most messages go unanswered, probably 9 out of 10, and blokes slowly come to the conclusion that no matter how well constructed a message is, it will go in the message dustbin unanswered. That in turn leads to less and less effort expended in penning an opening message. I and most others would prefer a nice decline. You get no hassle from me and the world moves on. Those that get abusive can be dealt with a simple block. Me, I find otherways to make fab work.

Don't shoot the messanger - that's my take on it."
not just guys. We send messages and they don't get replied to either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get bored quite quickly with the conversations. It's very hard to find women or couples who want to actually chat about normal things or even add a "you?" to the end of a reply to keep the convo going lol. Like if both don't make the effort then what's the point?

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By *weetpineapplesWoman
over a year ago

Fife

I find it so difficult to keep up conversations when theres so many to respond to so it's inevitable that some dry up or get lost which is often the case as messages only go back so far so can be difficult to start off where you left.

And sometimes there's only so much you can talk about before it turns to so, what's on tonight, how's you today, bla bla bla. Then the conversation can get pretty boring if you can't meet straight away and before you know it a more interesting message, that attracts your attention, comes in

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By *bzboy66Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Maybe we should ask for a sub section on fab for "those who will reply".... three strikes an yer oot .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get bored easily. If there's banter and a shared sense of humour then I can get quite into it but it is hard to maintain.

I find small talk quite difficult.

I think that's why I tend to use the chatrooms. It's much easier to engage in real time.

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

I often message myself when I get a wee bit lonely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I often message myself when I get a wee bit lonely. "

Aye but do you get a reply back?

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"I often message myself when I get a wee bit lonely.

Aye but do you get a reply back?

It depends on my mood. Sometimes I have a wee flirt, but I almost cockblocked me the last time round after I sent a cock pic in the first message and offered me a discreet blowie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if we are all 'talked out' is sometimes hard enough keeping up with friends and family texting/messaging. Then on here starting new chats and replying - I think a lot of people could just be drained?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

True, lockdown was not only mentally draining but physically draining also.

Maybe in time chat will come back again when we have all recovered.

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Is anyone else singing ‘we don’t talk about Bruno’ in their heads when they read the title?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is anyone else singing ‘we don’t talk about Bruno’ in their heads when they read the title?

"
haha for me it's Big Cliff Richard "it's sooo funny how weeeee don't chat annnnnymore"

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By *ocktailsdreamsMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I don't want to talk about it how you broke my heart!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is anyone else singing ‘we don’t talk about Bruno’ in their heads when they read the title?

haha for me it's Big Cliff Richard "it's sooo funny how weeeee don't chat annnnnymore""

Don't want to sound picky but cliff sang "it's so funny we dont talk anymore" shame on you !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is anyone else singing ‘we don’t talk about Bruno’ in their heads when they read the title?

haha for me it's Big Cliff Richard "it's sooo funny how weeeee don't chat annnnnymore"

Don't want to sound picky but cliff sang "it's so funny we dont talk anymore" shame on you !

"
lol nobody likes a smarty-pants

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is anyone else singing ‘we don’t talk about Bruno’ in their heads when they read the title?

haha for me it's Big Cliff Richard "it's sooo funny how weeeee don't chat annnnnymore"

Don't want to sound picky but cliff sang "it's so funny we dont talk anymore" shame on you !

lol nobody likes a smarty-pants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is anyone else singing ‘we don’t talk about Bruno’ in their heads when they read the title?

haha for me it's Big Cliff Richard "it's sooo funny how weeeee don't chat annnnnymore"

Don't want to sound picky but cliff sang "it's so funny we dont talk anymore" shame on you !

lol nobody likes a smarty-pants

"
still singing my version

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I'm not meeting anyone new at the moment so can't be arsed chatting when it won't progress any further.

Saves being labelled a tease or a timewaster. Would guys rather receive an inbox full of rejection. Surely they would be more soul destroying.

#cantwin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I will sometimes use winks as a way to gauge if theres a mutual interest.

And when it comes to chatting it can be a bit of a minefield.

Some people want a nice respectful conversation.

Others won't reply if you aren't getting dirty quick enough

Others will get into a great conversation add you as a friend and never message you again.

Some will only ever reply with one word answers.

And 90% of messages just don't get opened.

I try my best to be polite and normal and its all I can continue to do.

I understand women and couples are bombarded on Fab and get an awful lot of abuse.

I also understand how demoralising and difficult it can be as a guy just to have someone reply, never mind a conversation.

So I think the perceived communication breakdown is just a bit of exhaustion on both sides.

But until then ill just krep trying to be polite and not overbearing!

Just my views, nothing intended to offend! Everyone have a good night!

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By *andy_FraserTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

What I don't get is when you write a nice message, with some questions or points of discussion in it, and they simply reply answering the first question in what barely equates to a full sentence.

Puts you off wasting time on them.

So Winks it is.

Mandy

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

"I often message myself when I get a wee bit lonely.

Aye but do you get a reply back?

It depends on my mood. Sometimes I have a wee flirt, but I almost cockblocked me the last time round after I sent a cock pic in the first message and offered me a discreet blowie. "

Probably Spam

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I often message myself when I get a wee bit lonely.

Aye but do you get a reply back?

It depends on my mood. Sometimes I have a wee flirt, but I almost cockblocked me the last time round after I sent a cock pic in the first message and offered me a discreet blowie.

Probably Spam

Ooh I love spam especially with baked beans and chips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always try and keep in touch with people who i feel i can get on with, There are some lovely, funny and clever people on here that are well worth the patience and effort, Although there are some who really need their hard drives checking, literally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also, as I recently explained to someone..

Occupied full time in a role that has me stressed out of my fucking tits most days.

I have a partner (happy for 26yrs) and two kids.

I help care for my elderly parents.

Going for a shite without an interruption or phone call from someone wanting something counts as "Me" time.

I'm possibly not the best candidate as a partner in crime or a pen pal."

This

Part of why I stuck my message filters to block everyone. I don't know how people have so much time to do the whole back and forth pen pal thing and then moan about them running off and not meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I generally always send a polite and if possible complimentary or funny message. I always say what it is about the persons profile that has caught my eye and I am lucky if I get 5% of replies.

I know its a polite no if they don't reply but if decent guys consistently get replies they will eventually leave and you are left with all the arseholes who think its instashag.

That was a bit of a rant, sorry.

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By *bzboy66Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"I know I will sometimes use winks as a way to gauge if theres a mutual interest.

And when it comes to chatting it can be a bit of a minefield.

Some people want a nice respectful conversation.

Others won't reply if you aren't getting dirty quick enough

Others will get into a great conversation add you as a friend and never message you again.

Some will only ever reply with one word answers.

And 90% of messages just don't get opened.

I try my best to be polite and normal and its all I can continue to do.

I understand women and couples are bombarded on Fab and get an awful lot of abuse.

I also understand how demoralising and difficult it can be as a guy just to have someone reply, never mind a conversation.

So I think the perceived communication breakdown is just a bit of exhaustion on both sides.

But until then ill just krep trying to be polite and not overbearing!

Just my views, nothing intended to offend! Everyone have a good night!"

I'd agree with most of that.

Plus like many, I've had a few stressful days at work and my best chat (if I every had any) just went on the back burner as working life took over...bills need paying etc...

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