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"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified. That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger. Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified. Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone? Dont know, just thinking out loud." | |||
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"Good idea in theory.... But if they're set on getting a story what's to stop 2 of them joining forces and verifying each other " or being verified by phone ... this also puts a green tick on your profile and if they hide the fact its just a phone veri nobody is any the wiser x | |||
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"Good idea in theory.... But if they're set on getting a story what's to stop 2 of them joining forces and verifying each other or being verified by phone ... this also puts a green tick on your profile and if they hide the fact its just a phone veri nobody is any the wiser x" Cant do phone veri's any more... But you're right it could be done with cam veri | |||
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"Good idea in theory.... But if they're set on getting a story what's to stop 2 of them joining forces and verifying each other or being verified by phone ... this also puts a green tick on your profile and if they hide the fact its just a phone veri nobody is any the wiser x Cant do phone veri's any more... But you're right it could be done with cam veri" apologies didnt realise this couldnt be done now but yea cam then lol x | |||
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"would also suggest that anyone the organiser of an event doesn't know verifies themselves on cam...may be time consuming though" That's really time consuming for the organiser.. lol. I did this (along with several others) on another site after having a social venue called by someone and outed as swingers... and yep, it cut down on no shows etc to the social, but even with about 6 of us camming with newbies it still took up a lot of time when there can be 50++ newbies adding their names for socials... It's a good idea if the organiser(s) has the time | |||
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"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified. That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger. Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified. Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone? Dont know, just thinking out loud." I think being verified as a genuine person will not stop journalists writing story's as they don't have " I'm a journalist " tattooed on there forehead. All it would take would be a couple of coffee meets to get verified | |||
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"I said on a previous thread that the problems with socials are not the new people or people pretending to be journalists. The few that I can remember going tits up were due to someone spoiling it and that was due to established members falling out... one in Dundee was a girl who had fallen out with a guy and wrote a letter saying if the guy went he would be glassed, they pare no longer on the site...both verified. I think there was another in Kilmarnock a few years ago and that was another squabble so maybe if people kept their shit away from the events and dealt with it, we would see a decrease in these issues." well said sir xx | |||
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"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified. That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger. Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified. Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone? Dont know, just thinking out loud." Thats wouldnt work because its easy to get verf and the person that emailed probably thought they where asking a genuinely reasonable answer because so people have no discretion ot sense | |||
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"From what I was told it was another members +1 that done the dirty. Maybe it's time to stop allowing people to do the +1 thing, that way you only get a place at a social event if you put your own name on the list." a very good point | |||
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" whether they apply as a single or as a +1 is immaterial surely." Can't agree. The +1 could be changed for someone else very easily. Either you put your own name on the list or you don't go. If the +1 thing continues what's to stop someone doing a +2, +3 etc? | |||
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"Plus, the guy in question was genuine. The problem is that he's also an arsehole." | |||
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"The verified thing is a great idea as long as its veri in person. To many veris by cam and pic if you ask me but its only my opinion so pls no one go off on one pls " True it should be both met in person and photo verified if you ask me then you know they are as gen as you can get without meeting yourself. | |||
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"I said on a previous thread that the problems with socials are not the new people or people pretending to be journalists. The few that I can remember going tits up were due to someone spoiling it and that was due to established members falling out... one in Dundee was a girl who had fallen out with a guy and wrote a letter saying if the guy went he would be glassed, they are no longer on the site...both verified. I think there was another in Kilmarnock a few years ago and that was another squabble so maybe if people kept their shit away from the events and dealt with it, we would see a decrease in these issues." mine wasnt in kilmarnock either an the couple had no isses with me then but, they sure as hell do now for causing it but mine still went ahead with out them | |||
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"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified. That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger. Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified. Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone? Dont know, just thinking out loud." short of being verified by someone else that is on the list.... I am not sure if there is a real good way of doing it, because in the end it only takes one to shout out and you could be in the same situation.... maybe the answer is to be more honest with the venue owners that it is a party for adults... but there will be no sexual stuff going on on the premises... I can only talk for newcastle, but venues I have used in the past have been more than happy as long that it is self policing.... | |||
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"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified. That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger. Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified. Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone? Dont know, just thinking out loud. short of being verified by someone else that is on the list.... I am not sure if there is a real good way of doing it, because in the end it only takes one to shout out and you could be in the same situation.... maybe the answer is to be more honest with the venue owners that it is a party for adults... but there will be no sexual stuff going on on the premises... I can only talk for newcastle, but venues I have used in the past have been more than happy as long that it is self policing...." But then you have the situation where a member of staff recognises an attendee. Or,a member of staff wanting to make a few bucks mails the press.OK,we know nothing goes on but the press won't let the truth get in the way of selling a few more copies. It's all a big dilemma with too many things to consider. In our mind if someone organises a social, their main concern should be the attendees privacy. Who are we (or anyone that organises a social) to decide on what risks to take where people's privacy is concerned? If a new social was organised and everyone was told the venue knew we were swingers from the outset, how many people would go? S. | |||
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" If a new social was organised and everyone was told the venue knew we were swingers from the outset, how many people would go? S." again.. just thinking out loud really.. so bear with me... some of it has to be the trust in the organisers in discretion will be upheld... so in that respect I am not saying being 100% upfront, but there must be ways of doing it... for example... i said I was organising a social on behalf of a website, which just happened to conincide with my birthday, and I said to them they may be thing that would look outlandish, but it would be no more than any friday/saturday night in newcastle city centre.... and then I sent an email to everyone advising them to not do anything OTT or they would be asked to leave..... I was lucky because of the friendships I have built with the managers of venues in newcastle they trusted me, and it was hard to build those up..... the most awkward one is the first time a venue is used, again fear of the unknown... most venues I have used have loved us, and some still ask if I am coming back..... again it is a case of thinking out loud so if I come up with anything I will put them in the thread... | |||
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"View has a good point that in the chat room, when asked how new people can break into the clique, we do generally say attend a social. So yup it would exclude newbies who arent verified. Reading all the posts maybe it is best just to go somewhere public, like a pub and hope everyone dresses appropriately and acts the same way. Takes the fun out of a private function though. I do know a guy on here that owns his own hotel and function suite, i think he posted a forum before saying he could help. Maybe a swingers hotel would be safer but once again its stopping idiots talking to the press. Dilema really." yeah i saw that too when it all went tits up with the ball and we thought that was a great idea then at least theres no secrecy with the venue etc x | |||
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"Me personally think they way forward is if someone is going to the trouble of organising a social it should be by invite. Only.. Their social their friends. The members that have been on from the,start have done socials before,with no hassle its just becoming a backstabbing joke . Their social....their rules. Auds " actually I agree with you.... I don't see why if you are going to the trouble of organising why you don't have any control of who is on list and not..... I can also see that it may antagonise some who are to be told no, while others are told yes..... in the end it is a private party... and that is the way it should be... private... I think it sends a bad sign to newbies, but if it a way that confidence in the short term can be restored then maybe it is a sacrifice that should be considered.... | |||
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"Me personally think they way forward is if someone is going to the trouble of organising a social it should be by invite. Only.. Their social their friends. The members that have been on from the,start have done socials before,with no hassle its just becoming a backstabbing joke . Their social....their rules. Auds " In a sense, I agree with you. That would stop the venue from been sabotaged from one angle (the attendees) but then opens up jealousy from those who didn't get an invite. That could cause issue for sabotage or just lead to further divisions and finger pointing at cliques etc. There is no easy solution. Solve one problem with a good idea but causes other issues. Quite a few of the larger socials have had incident in the last few years but have been kept away from the attendees. Ours wasn't the first to be scuppered and probably won't be the last. We won't be doing another for sure. S. | |||
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" actually I agree with you.... I don't see why if you are going to the trouble of organising why you don't have any control of who is on list and not..... I can also see that it may antagonise some who are to be told no, while others are told yes..... in the end it is a private party... and that is the way it should be... private... I think it sends a bad sign to newbies, but if it a way that confidence in the short term can be restored then maybe it is a sacrifice that should be considered...." The way we see socials is a way of meeting new people. If its invite only, it just turns into one big circle of friends. Makes an area look like a big clique. You will then get different circles of friends doing socials that are invite only and then introduce even more division. Yes, there are folks that don't get on with each other on the site but a social should be open to all so that even those that don't see eye to eye can attend. It's a hard one Fabio.... No easy solution. S. | |||
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" We won't be doing another for sure. S." That is the saddest thing in this thread. :0( | |||
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" actually I agree with you.... I don't see why if you are going to the trouble of organising why you don't have any control of who is on list and not..... I can also see that it may antagonise some who are to be told no, while others are told yes..... in the end it is a private party... and that is the way it should be... private... I think it sends a bad sign to newbies, but if it a way that confidence in the short term can be restored then maybe it is a sacrifice that should be considered.... The way we see socials is a way of meeting new people. If its invite only, it just turns into one big circle of friends. Makes an area look like a big clique. You will then get different circles of friends doing socials that are invite only and then introduce even more division. Yes, there are folks that don't get on with each other on the site but a social should be open to all so that even those that don't see eye to eye can attend. It's a hard one Fabio.... No easy solution. S. " Im afraid I agree with this ... I do not think socials should be run like this or all you will have is the same people at the same functions. The whole point is to be able to meet new folk which we have enjoyed doing in the past, people who are not necessarily in the same "group" of friends as ourselves and that would be a shame. Obviously if thats the way they are heading then so be it but I think we need to remember we were all new once, all attended our first social and that stops any new members from being able to experience this. The whole scenario is a shame really x | |||
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" We won't be doing another for sure. S. That is the saddest thing in this thread. :0(" Agreed... I went to last year's Glasgow event and had a great time. its only due to other commitments that stopped me from going to this one. | |||
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"Some think it may of been a journalist, but as others have said, a journalist would of held out to try and get a scoop and try to get in to event. Others believe it was a member purposely puting a spanner in the plan, seems generally, bigger the event, bigger a sitting duck you become for it being ruined. Bigger event means more chance for new members to be included, smaller probably would mean less chance for them. Suggested a solution, that would do away with the "absolutely everyone" knowing about it, which i think, still, would reduce the likelyhood of both a spoiler knowing of it and it becoming common knowledge to (how to put it politely) the clueless?" Pondered this today, was one, one bad intended person amongst the loads of folk who had put their name down, eager to go, months in the planning, yet one solitary person ruined it. Theres obviously a list from who was meant to be going/attending, im assuming the spoiler has been pinpointed,so. Refer to the list for next years invites, those invited can ping a message to organisers wishing to invite new members,(existing members responsible for them, making them aware of the privacy needed etc), it would in a way be self regulating, existing members would be reluctant to invite, "just met them last week and we think they might be trusted", doubt they would gamble with that, but im sure a percentage of new folks would luv to be part of it and add to the occasion. | |||
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"I don't know if this helps but I own a venue that can be used for a social ( if someone helps me organise it!) I can arrange for a DJ that is also a swinger it would be discreet, Just another fabby night out! If anyone is interested give me shout." Well ill still be attending socials single and ready to mingle xx | |||
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