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Social solution?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified.

That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger.

Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified.

Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone?

Dont know, just thinking out loud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. My wory is that as a TV I need to be even more carefu. Ive gone to 2 socials loved them and staff were fine but I guess folk might start to wonder / suspect

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Good idea in theory.... But if they're set on getting a story what's to stop 2 of them joining forces and verifying each other

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By *olly Gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

Glenrothes

In theory great idea. But then the veri system is open to abuse and can be beaten as was explained to me by an IT type at a recent meet. The photo veri might be ok but doesn't prove you are genuine.
"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified.

That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger.

Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified.

Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone?

Dont know, just thinking out loud."

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By *andS_GlasgowCouple
over a year ago

Giffnock

We are new and a wondering about the possibilities of this scenario for Verifications

Is it possible for a new members account to be verified by another new member account - just a thought !!

We are not verified by other users and are looking forward to the day we get the "VERIFIED" stamp - but we will do it the real way !!

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin


"Good idea in theory.... But if they're set on getting a story what's to stop 2 of them joining forces and verifying each other "

or being verified by phone ... this also puts a green tick on your profile and if they hide the fact its just a phone veri nobody is any the wiser x

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Good idea in theory.... But if they're set on getting a story what's to stop 2 of them joining forces and verifying each other

or being verified by phone ... this also puts a green tick on your profile and if they hide the fact its just a phone veri nobody is any the wiser x"

Cant do phone veri's any more... But you're right it could be done with cam veri

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would also suggest that anyone the organiser of an event doesn't know verifies themselves on cam...may be time consuming though

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin


"Good idea in theory.... But if they're set on getting a story what's to stop 2 of them joining forces and verifying each other

or being verified by phone ... this also puts a green tick on your profile and if they hide the fact its just a phone veri nobody is any the wiser x

Cant do phone veri's any more... But you're right it could be done with cam veri"

apologies didnt realise this couldnt be done now but yea cam then lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

beat me to it miss lol

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"would also suggest that anyone the organiser of an event doesn't know verifies themselves on cam...may be time consuming though"

That's really time consuming for the organiser.. lol.

I did this (along with several others) on another site after having a social venue called by someone and outed as swingers... and yep, it cut down on no shows etc to the social, but even with about 6 of us camming with newbies it still took up a lot of time when there can be 50++ newbies adding their names for socials... It's a good idea if the organiser(s) has the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

better safe than sorry though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Could Admin change the way verifications work?

Maybe just have three options

Kiss shag or avoid pmsl

But if people had pictures and verifications it may help?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified.

That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger.

Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified.

Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone?

Dont know, just thinking out loud."

I think being verified as a genuine person will not stop journalists writing story's as they don't have " I'm a journalist " tattooed on there forehead. All it would take would be a couple of coffee meets to get verified

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

The 1 problem I can see from only verified peeps being allowed is what about all the not verified genuine people we'd be alienating, arent socials supposed to be a good place for newbies to meet and mingle with us old timers

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By *he Bluesome TwosomeCouple
over a year ago

west lothian

We discussed this too after recent events. It'd be good to have more of a safety guarantee but U don't know what lengths they'll go to x

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By *olly Gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

Glenrothes

Ok so i googled - edinburgh masquerade ball - and up popped the forum listings. So irrespective of the alleged email, it was in the public domain. The hospitality trade despite being competitors do talk to each other so its easy to see how the venue might get wind. Can something not be done to improve data security?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 08/10/12 21:29:21]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I said on a previous thread that the problems with socials are not the new people or people pretending to be journalists. The few that I can remember going tits up were due to someone spoiling it and that was due to established members falling out... one in Dundee was a girl who had fallen out with a guy and wrote a letter saying if the guy went he would be glassed, they are no longer on the site...both verified.

I think there was another in Kilmarnock a few years ago and that was another squabble

so maybe if people kept their shit away from the events and dealt with it, we would see a decrease in these issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I said on a previous thread that the problems with socials are not the new people or people pretending to be journalists. The few that I can remember going tits up were due to someone spoiling it and that was due to established members falling out... one in Dundee was a girl who had fallen out with a guy and wrote a letter saying if the guy went he would be glassed, they pare no longer on the site...both verified.

I think there was another in Kilmarnock a few years ago and that was another squabble

so maybe if people kept their shit away from the events and dealt with it, we would see a decrease in these issues."

well said sir xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So what was the squabble or intent over this one?

I havent heard of any, but who knows?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

sorry reread my post and I was not trying to infer anyone had a squabble with Steve & Jo, apologies if it read that way.

I think this one is quite unique in the fact that the vigilance of the hotel and Steve/Jo to react quickly, they were able to narrow down who had received the mails, opened and thus the holders of the information was minimised. So instead of 200 people, maybe 14.

I don't think it was a journalist in any way, there was more of a story to attend the ball in a 4* Hotel in Edinburgh in the hope that snaps could be taken of 'someone', bearing in mind the Scottish Parliament, there have been stories in the press of senior policeman/women & bankers swinging. They wouldn't write to a hotel.

As for people squabbling on this one, not sure to be honest.. maybe all the names on the list know who they MAY have pissed off in someway, or friends of friends that they. It's a very small scene in that sense.

When I went to my first social on another site, people had to be known and another swinger give them a to be able to attend. So there is mileage in Greig's idea.

My point was a lot of the threads had mentioned newbies, I was trying to show support to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified.

That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger.

Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified.

Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone?

Dont know, just thinking out loud."

Thats wouldnt work because its easy to get verf and the person that emailed probably thought they where asking a genuinely reasonable answer because so people have no discretion ot sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There will always be a way,if someone wants to wreck it for whatever reasons they probably will succeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From what I was told it was another members +1 that done the dirty.

Maybe it's time to stop allowing people to do the +1 thing, that way you only get a place at a social event if you put your own name on the list.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"From what I was told it was another members +1 that done the dirty.

Maybe it's time to stop allowing people to do the +1 thing, that way you only get a place at a social event if you put your own name on the list."

a very good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was someones +1 who did the dirty so to speak then isn't that persons profile name given to organisers and then technically they have their name down on the list to go? whether they apply as a single or as a +1 is immaterial surely.

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Organising a social apart from the usual upheaval involves a certain degree of bottle. Those attending said social events also have to be prepared to acknowledge that although it's a normal night out with normal people there is a stigma connected with the lifestyle.

Now it comes down to the "what if" scenario of which there are many, for example bad apples, press, etc and how to limit the "chances" of it happening.

Unfortunately there is no guarantee with these events but what alternative is there ?

If you want to attend socials and meet and socialise with like minded people then you simply have to be prepared for the worst case scenario.

For what's it's worth and this is no disrespect to the organisers of the ball but there's no chance in hell i'd have pulled the plug on said event.

I also wouldn't have sent out venue details even a day before but sent a text 30 mins prior given all were in the general vicinity anyway.

I'd have also predetermined any spoiling tactics by telling the venue it was an internet social evening and if they should receive any spoiling tactics its a simple case of the "said person/persons" not being invited.

There's no way the venue would kick out on the assumption when everyone is already there spending money in fact the venue was keen for the event to go ahead. they would have seen everyone looking glam and behaving as anyone does on any normal night out.

I fully understand and respect why it was cancelled just adding my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" whether they apply as a single or as a +1 is immaterial surely."

Can't agree. The +1 could be changed for someone else very easily.

Either you put your own name on the list or you don't go.

If the +1 thing continues what's to stop someone doing a +2, +3 etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just an idea, would kind of spread the responsibility instead of it all being on organisers shoulders.

They created a healthy list with of course the one spoiler.

No big advertising of social, but invites to those from previous list(trusted),and those sent invites are permitted to invite known/trusted new members, who they suggest/invite, they are responsible for in terms of them being genuine.

Just a way of up-ing the discretion part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think that's a non starter.

Lots of newbies want to go to the events and having to have someone vouch for you will only bad feeling and create divisions/cliques.

There's enough of that as it is without adding to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plus, the guy in question was genuine.

The problem is that he's also an arsehole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No probs, as i said, just an idea.

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By *urioduoCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

To be honest I think we can come up with a multitude of solutions and each has their merits but with the numbers involved at socials if someone wants to spoil it they shall no matter what precautions are in place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I agree with DBS but it will alienate new fabsters, but what cost is discretion, difficult one.

How about verifications only for people who have shagged other people? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is a thought, surely if folks are totally genuine but are ultra discrete to the point they dont ever want that green tick(verified), surely taking the plunge to go to a social goes against all their max discretion ideals?

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By *istery girlWoman
over a year ago

Ross-shire

hello

Having organised a social in April In Inverness its extremly difficult and to also find a venue because at the end of the day that is all it is a get to-gether of friends New or old ...

The biggest problem i found is people just not bothering to turn up or even say they can't make it ..

I did read all the comments about people being Verified not sure to be honest how that would make a difference as how can you police that effectively ...

Just so every one can just meet up have a laugh and a drink If you look on your friends list how many people have you chatted to for months and not met due to one thing or another so a Social is good and we know they work ..

I was also at the social in Inverness on Sat Night it was a great success and no hasstle at all Just some very nice people meeting for drinks on a Sat night how it should be So a big thank you to the organizers they did good xx

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"Plus, the guy in question was genuine.

The problem is that he's also an arsehole."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The verified thing is a great idea as long as its veri in person. To many veris by cam and pic if you ask me but its only my opinion so pls no one go off on one pls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The verified thing is a great idea as long as its veri in person. To many veris by cam and pic if you ask me but its only my opinion so pls no one go off on one pls "

True it should be both met in person and photo verified if you ask me then you know they are as gen as you can get without meeting yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So can't a genuine fab member be a knob and sabotage a social?

Of course they can.

As a previous poster Said...

Unfortunatly if someone's gonna do it they will find a way.

Sad sad sad as,we loved going to socials

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I said on a previous thread that the problems with socials are not the new people or people pretending to be journalists. The few that I can remember going tits up were due to someone spoiling it and that was due to established members falling out... one in Dundee was a girl who had fallen out with a guy and wrote a letter saying if the guy went he would be glassed, they are no longer on the site...both verified.

I think there was another in Kilmarnock a few years ago and that was another squabble

so maybe if people kept their shit away from the events and dealt with it, we would see a decrease in these issues."

mine wasnt in kilmarnock either an the couple had no isses with me then but, they sure as hell do now for causing it but mine still went ahead with out them

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

for clarity, my post was not inferring people had problems with the organiser but internal to the scene squabbles

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified.

That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger.

Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified.

Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone?

Dont know, just thinking out loud."

short of being verified by someone else that is on the list.... I am not sure if there is a real good way of doing it, because in the end it only takes one to shout out and you could be in the same situation....

maybe the answer is to be more honest with the venue owners that it is a party for adults... but there will be no sexual stuff going on on the premises...

I can only talk for newcastle, but venues I have used in the past have been more than happy as long that it is self policing....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, it maybe a rubbish one but, when offering places for socials and balls,maybe only give places to people who are verified.

That way anyone who attends is a genuine swinger.

Just thinking aloud that the journalist would then have to be verified.

Unless of course that the person who emailed the hotel for the ball is verified as genuine but just wanted to screw it up for everyone?

Dont know, just thinking out loud.

short of being verified by someone else that is on the list.... I am not sure if there is a real good way of doing it, because in the end it only takes one to shout out and you could be in the same situation....

maybe the answer is to be more honest with the venue owners that it is a party for adults... but there will be no sexual stuff going on on the premises...

I can only talk for newcastle, but venues I have used in the past have been more than happy as long that it is self policing...."

But then you have the situation where a member of staff recognises an attendee.

Or,a member of staff wanting to make a few bucks mails the press.OK,we know nothing goes on but the press won't let the truth get in the way of selling a few more copies.

It's all a big dilemma with too many things to consider.

In our mind if someone organises a social, their main concern should be the attendees privacy. Who are we (or anyone that organises a social) to decide on what risks to take where people's privacy is concerned?

If a new social was organised and everyone was told the venue knew we were swingers from the outset, how many people would go?

S.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps I am being a bit dense, but surely if there was a mole and he is a journalist, wouldn't he have wanted the Ball to have gone ahead to get the inside story of the whole event? I cannot really quite understand why it would have been a journalist emailed the hotel; how would that enhance his scoop?

As many have said, it seems far more likely to have been spite on the part of an individual.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

If a new social was organised and everyone was told the venue knew we were swingers from the outset, how many people would go?

S."

again.. just thinking out loud really.. so bear with me...

some of it has to be the trust in the organisers in discretion will be upheld... so in that respect I am not saying being 100% upfront, but there must be ways of doing it...

for example... i said I was organising a social on behalf of a website, which just happened to conincide with my birthday, and I said to them they may be thing that would look outlandish, but it would be no more than any friday/saturday night in newcastle city centre....

and then I sent an email to everyone advising them to not do anything OTT or they would be asked to leave.....

I was lucky because of the friendships I have built with the managers of venues in newcastle they trusted me, and it was hard to build those up.....

the most awkward one is the first time a venue is used, again fear of the unknown... most venues I have used have loved us, and some still ask if I am coming back.....

again it is a case of thinking out loud so if I come up with anything I will put them in the thread...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this a problem in Scotland only or are other regions finding the same issues with the press?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

View has a good point that in the chat room, when asked how new people can break into the clique, we do generally say attend a social. So yup it would exclude newbies who arent verified.

Reading all the posts maybe it is best just to go somewhere public, like a pub and hope everyone dresses appropriately and acts the same way.

Takes the fun out of a private function though.

I do know a guy on here that owns his own hotel and function suite, i think he posted a forum before saying he could help. Maybe a swingers hotel would be safer but once again its stopping idiots talking to the press. Dilema really.

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By *he Bluesome TwosomeCouple
over a year ago

west lothian


"View has a good point that in the chat room, when asked how new people can break into the clique, we do generally say attend a social. So yup it would exclude newbies who arent verified.

Reading all the posts maybe it is best just to go somewhere public, like a pub and hope everyone dresses appropriately and acts the same way.

Takes the fun out of a private function though.

I do know a guy on here that owns his own hotel and function suite, i think he posted a forum before saying he could help. Maybe a swingers hotel would be safer but once again its stopping idiots talking to the press. Dilema really."

yeah i saw that too when it all went tits up with the ball and we thought that was a great idea then at least theres no secrecy with the venue etc x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe ask the folks who time after time seem to run good successful events how they manage it? Jase

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Jase mate its pure luck not to get sabotaged we did one and was fine, Jands did one last year no probs, but others have suffered, there is no certain formula bud

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By *olly Gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

Glenrothes

As a social virgin, I've been following the posts with interest. seems to me that its the large events rather than small ones that would be most likely to attract the media attenton - unless a celeb or politician high ranking executive was involved.

Although the whole "wife swapping" is still portrayed as such by those of a |Victorian outlook. FFS - this is 21st centuary.

Anyways - if small is safe then perhaps way forward is for saythe organiser to liase with venue but have a team of 5 or 6 promoters who are trusted friends. and then the promoters each have so many spaces to fill but promote as their own event. bit like some big charity dos - the tables are "franchised" to firms/usinesses.

so in fab forums its separate events but only when you get the 30 min text and then get to venue to you realise its a big do. ok so wouldnt for for a ball etc but might for ordinary unthemed socials.

as for a ball etc with expensive hiring of kilts/black tie and making of ball gowns etc only way forward I can see is to bill it as a chirity fundraiser with a ppn of ticket price going to a nominated charity.ok so its advertised on a swingers site exclusivly but so what.

of course we are all assuming it was a jouno that contacted the hotel by the condom email. but lets not rule out corporate espionage etc.

http://www.fabent.co.uk/blog/ is the the blog of fabulous entertainment who own the fabswingers site. depending on site rankings, I wouldnt putit past another site trying to sabotage out of sheer bloody mindedness - playgtround tantrum kinda thing.

Who knows!

In many ways - to close - this episode kinda brings home how much we are "still in the closet" when it comes to society at large

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some think it may of been a journalist, but as others have said, a journalist would of held out to try and get a scoop and try to get in to event.

Others believe it was a member purposely puting a spanner in the plan, seems generally, bigger the event, bigger a sitting duck you become for it being ruined.

Bigger event means more chance for new members to be included, smaller probably would mean less chance for them.

Suggested a solution, that would do away with the "absolutely everyone" knowing about it, which i think, still, would reduce the likelyhood of both a spoiler knowing of it and it becoming common knowledge to (how to put it politely) the clueless?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me personally think they way forward is if someone is going to the trouble of organising a social it should be by invite. Only..

Their social their friends.

The members that have been on from the,start have done socials before,with no hassle its just becoming a backstabbing joke .

Their social....their rules.

Auds

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Me personally think they way forward is if someone is going to the trouble of organising a social it should be by invite. Only..

Their social their friends.

The members that have been on from the,start have done socials before,with no hassle its just becoming a backstabbing joke .

Their social....their rules.

Auds "

actually I agree with you.... I don't see why if you are going to the trouble of organising why you don't have any control of who is on list and not.....

I can also see that it may antagonise some who are to be told no, while others are told yes.....

in the end it is a private party... and that is the way it should be... private... I think it sends a bad sign to newbies, but if it a way that confidence in the short term can be restored then maybe it is a sacrifice that should be considered....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Me personally think they way forward is if someone is going to the trouble of organising a social it should be by invite. Only..

Their social their friends.

The members that have been on from the,start have done socials before,with no hassle its just becoming a backstabbing joke .

Their social....their rules.

Auds "

In a sense, I agree with you. That would stop the venue from been sabotaged from one angle (the attendees) but then opens up jealousy from those who didn't get an invite.

That could cause issue for sabotage or just lead to further divisions and finger pointing at cliques etc.

There is no easy solution. Solve one problem with a good idea but causes other issues.

Quite a few of the larger socials have had incident in the last few years but have been kept away from the attendees. Ours wasn't the first to be scuppered and probably won't be the last.

We won't be doing another for sure.

S.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

actually I agree with you.... I don't see why if you are going to the trouble of organising why you don't have any control of who is on list and not.....

I can also see that it may antagonise some who are to be told no, while others are told yes.....

in the end it is a private party... and that is the way it should be... private... I think it sends a bad sign to newbies, but if it a way that confidence in the short term can be restored then maybe it is a sacrifice that should be considered...."

The way we see socials is a way of meeting new people. If its invite only, it just turns into one big circle of friends.

Makes an area look like a big clique. You will then get different circles of friends doing socials that are invite only and then introduce even more division.

Yes, there are folks that don't get on with each other on the site but a social should be open to all so that even those that don't see eye to eye can attend.

It's a hard one Fabio.... No easy solution.

S.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

We won't be doing another for sure.

S."

That is the saddest thing in this thread. :0(

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin


"

actually I agree with you.... I don't see why if you are going to the trouble of organising why you don't have any control of who is on list and not.....

I can also see that it may antagonise some who are to be told no, while others are told yes.....

in the end it is a private party... and that is the way it should be... private... I think it sends a bad sign to newbies, but if it a way that confidence in the short term can be restored then maybe it is a sacrifice that should be considered....

The way we see socials is a way of meeting new people. If its invite only, it just turns into one big circle of friends.

Makes an area look like a big clique. You will then get different circles of friends doing socials that are invite only and then introduce even more division.

Yes, there are folks that don't get on with each other on the site but a social should be open to all so that even those that don't see eye to eye can attend.

It's a hard one Fabio.... No easy solution.

S. "

Im afraid I agree with this ... I do not think socials should be run like this or all you will have is the same people at the same functions. The whole point is to be able to meet new folk which we have enjoyed doing in the past, people who are not necessarily in the same "group" of friends as ourselves and that would be a shame. Obviously if thats the way they are heading then so be it but I think we need to remember we were all new once, all attended our first social and that stops any new members from being able to experience this.

The whole scenario is a shame really x

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

it is a shame because now we have less people prepared to stick their necks out and arrange such socials.....

and in the end that is going to effect everybody...... and if other don't stand up to replace them the social scene dies...

so in the end the person/people who blabbed wins we are now all more insular and looking over shoulders......

for example... I was looking at doing a social with a karaoke/pub quiz theme, and in that atmosphere it wouldn't matter what group it was... and in a sense maybe that it what needs to happen as opposed to the grander scale themes for the time being....

just show people that we as a group, who just happen to be swingers, are not defined by the labels... and we act no differently to anyone else on a night out......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes but. Who I know might nor be the same people as who the host knows...and maybe the host knows a good few newbies and so on....

As for cliques...you get them everywhere...forums...chatrooms.

And if the venue does got sabotaged then the host has a better idea who did it.

Only those that are going get details an hr before the start.

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By *ane DTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow


"

We won't be doing another for sure.

S.

That is the saddest thing in this thread. :0("

Agreed... I went to last year's Glasgow event and had a great time. its only due to other commitments that stopped me from going to this one.

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By *ustyWench38kWoman
over a year ago

dunfermline

I don't know if this helps but I own a venue that can be used for a social ( if someone helps me organise it!) I can arrange for a DJ that is also a swinger it would be discreet, Just another fabby night out! If anyone is interested give me shout.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some think it may of been a journalist, but as others have said, a journalist would of held out to try and get a scoop and try to get in to event.

Others believe it was a member purposely puting a spanner in the plan, seems generally, bigger the event, bigger a sitting duck you become for it being ruined.

Bigger event means more chance for new members to be included, smaller probably would mean less chance for them.

Suggested a solution, that would do away with the "absolutely everyone" knowing about it, which i think, still, would reduce the likelyhood of both a spoiler knowing of it and it becoming common knowledge to (how to put it politely) the clueless?"

Pondered this today, was one, one bad intended person amongst the loads of folk who had put their name down, eager to go, months in the planning, yet one solitary person ruined it.

Theres obviously a list from who was meant to be going/attending, im assuming the spoiler has been pinpointed,so.

Refer to the list for next years invites, those invited can ping a message to organisers wishing to invite new members,(existing members responsible for them, making them aware of the privacy needed etc), it would in a way be self regulating, existing members would be reluctant to invite, "just met them last week and we think they might be trusted", doubt they would gamble with that, but im sure a percentage of new folks would luv to be part of it and add to the occasion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we won't be organising another event.... Not going thru all the months of planning and work for it to be spoiled again..... But.... Anyone wishing to can take on a ball or another event if they wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I said at the night get a marquee stick it in a field and make a weekend of it bring your own booze and be done with it lol save a fortune

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know if this helps but I own a venue that can be used for a social ( if someone helps me organise it!) I can arrange for a DJ that is also a swinger it would be discreet, Just another fabby night out! If anyone is interested give me shout."

Well ill still be attending socials single and ready to mingle xx

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