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JOKE: Fife Lockdown Rules

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By *ifeCouple66 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Fife

Got sent this and thought we'd share

FIFE : NEW LOCKDOWN RULES FROM 16th DECEMBER 2021

COWDENBEATH: It’s still ok to fight with your neighbour as long as you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to

LUMPHINANS: Burgling homes in your local area is still permitted as long as you sanitise. Track and trace technology must be used.

LOCHGELLY: You can only visit your dealer when dropping your kids off at school. Dealers must wear visors and sanitise all bags.

CROSSGATES: You can still have sex with your sister but you must be home by 10 pm.

DUNFERMLINE: Vigilante groups of 6 only permitted outdoors between the hours of 10 pm and 6am, ppe must be worn during physical contact & raves.

KELTY: Sitting in the park is encouraged, but please note, although a bottle of white lightening has higher alcohol content than hand sanitiser, it is not a suitable substitute.

BALLINGRY: Prostitute services will still be permitted to stay open as an essential service. Due to concerns of an economic collapse in the area.

LOCHORE: Is now classed as a ‘NO GO ZONE’. If you must travel through this area please follow all diversions, stay in your car at all times. Masks are not required as nothing is open.

DALGETY BAY: All middle class drug fueled swinging orgies must adere to the rule of 6. Masks must be worn. Gimp masks are deemed suitable.

KINGLASSIE: Flashing your genitalia on the cycle track is permitted strictly between the hours of 9am-10am, sterile gloves must be worn at all times.

GLENROTHES: No need to wear a mask or self isolate, covid can’t find your house.

KIRKCALDY: Everyone must stay at home and self isolate until manufacturers can supply and distribute gloves with 6 fingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha I’ll have to take a copy of that

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)


"Got sent this and thought we'd share

FIFE : NEW LOCKDOWN RULES FROM 16th DECEMBER 2021

COWDENBEATH: It’s still ok to fight with your neighbour as long as you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to

LUMPHINANS: Burgling homes in your local area is still permitted as long as you sanitise. Track and trace technology must be used.

LOCHGELLY: You can only visit your dealer when dropping your kids off at school. Dealers must wear visors and sanitise all bags.

CROSSGATES: You can still have sex with your sister but you must be home by 10 pm.

DUNFERMLINE: Vigilante groups of 6 only permitted outdoors between the hours of 10 pm and 6am, ppe must be worn during physical contact & raves.

KELTY: Sitting in the park is encouraged, but please note, although a bottle of white lightening has higher alcohol content than hand sanitiser, it is not a suitable substitute.

BALLINGRY: Prostitute services will still be permitted to stay open as an essential service. Due to concerns of an economic collapse in the area.

LOCHORE: Is now classed as a ‘NO GO ZONE’. If you must travel through this area please follow all diversions, stay in your car at all times. Masks are not required as nothing is open.

DALGETY BAY: All middle class drug fueled swinging orgies must adere to the rule of 6. Masks must be worn. Gimp masks are deemed suitable.

KINGLASSIE: Flashing your genitalia on the cycle track is permitted strictly between the hours of 9am-10am, sterile gloves must be worn at all times.

GLENROTHES: No need to wear a mask or self isolate, covid can’t find your house.

KIRKCALDY: Everyone must stay at home and self isolate until manufacturers can supply and distribute gloves with 6 fingers."

That is Awesome!!! Love it!!! So true!!!

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

Had a wee giggle at this when I saw it on Facebook last night .

K

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By *tormin1965Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

No bad neebor

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By *lexixCDTV/TS
over a year ago

Travellin aroon east fife pm

Brilliant

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By *astcoast2000Man
over a year ago

Newcastle County Down


"Had a wee giggle at this when I saw it on Facebook last night .

K"
brilliant

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

No mention of Kinghorn I’d have thought it’d have warranted a mention .

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By *jezee1000Man
over a year ago

perth

We all have the horn,,, not just the King !!

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By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago

Belfast and Fife


"Got sent this and thought we'd share

FIFE : NEW LOCKDOWN RULES FROM 16th DECEMBER 2021

COWDENBEATH: It’s still ok to fight with your neighbour as long as you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to

LUMPHINANS: Burgling homes in your local area is still permitted as long as you sanitise. Track and trace technology must be used.

LOCHGELLY: You can only visit your dealer when dropping your kids off at school. Dealers must wear visors and sanitise all bags.

CROSSGATES: You can still have sex with your sister but you must be home by 10 pm.

DUNFERMLINE: Vigilante groups of 6 only permitted outdoors between the hours of 10 pm and 6am, ppe must be worn during physical contact & raves.

KELTY: Sitting in the park is encouraged, but please note, although a bottle of white lightening has higher alcohol content than hand sanitiser, it is not a suitable substitute.

BALLINGRY: Prostitute services will still be permitted to stay open as an essential service. Due to concerns of an economic collapse in the area.

LOCHORE: Is now classed as a ‘NO GO ZONE’. If you must travel through this area please follow all diversions, stay in your car at all times. Masks are not required as nothing is open.

DALGETY BAY: All middle class drug fueled swinging orgies must adere to the rule of 6. Masks must be worn. Gimp masks are deemed suitable.

KINGLASSIE: Flashing your genitalia on the cycle track is permitted strictly between the hours of 9am-10am, sterile gloves must be worn at all times.

GLENROTHES: No need to wear a mask or self isolate, covid can’t find your house.

KIRKCALDY: Everyone must stay at home and self isolate until manufacturers can supply and distribute gloves with 6 fingers."

Hahaha, fantastic. Good laugh, thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will have to move back to fife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Haha I’ll have to take a copy of that "

Saw same just areas changed to places in Greenock

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By *lenrothesleeMan
over a year ago

Glenrothes

That's quality definitely pinching this hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya whoor its a fifer talking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fantastic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They should just Nuke Fife

and I'm not joking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this, may have giggled a little too much ??

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