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Geez some patter

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sitting here greeting at some old Scottish jokes, we really do have a rare sense of humour.

“What’s the difference between Bing Crosby n Walt Disney? Bing sings but Walt disnae” aw naw hahahah

“Why shouldn’t you wear soviet underwear? Cause Chernobyl fall oot”

Right wan mare:

“A pregnant women phoned her husband and tell him that her waters just broke.

He’s laht: I’ll come pick you up. Where you ringing fae?

She’s laht: Fae ma knickers to ma ankles! Hurry up!”

Literal tears people… is there something wrong with me or do all Scots love chronically shite patter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fits wrang with Mickey Mouses helicopter?

It Disnae land

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If Mick Jagger was from Aberdeen, would he sing 'Hey MacLeod, get off of my ewe?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and is told to sit on the dentist's chair.

'Comfy?' he asks her.

'Partick' she replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scottish polisman gets home and catches his wife in bed with three men.

'Hello, hello, hello' he says.

His wife says 'Are you not talking to me?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

someone told me this other night

Dr Dr.. i keep thinking I'm a supermarket..

Dr replies, how long you been feeling like that?

patient, ever since I've been lidl

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"someone told me this other night

Dr Dr.. i keep thinking I'm a supermarket..

Dr replies, how long you been feeling like that?

patient, ever since I've been lidl "

If your Drs ever busy and you need a check up… Aldi it

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"someone told me this other night

Dr Dr.. i keep thinking I'm a supermarket..

Dr replies, how long you been feeling like that?

patient, ever since I've been lidl

If your Drs ever busy and you need a check up… Aldi it "

That Asda be the worst joke ever!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"someone told me this other night

Dr Dr.. i keep thinking I'm a supermarket..

Dr replies, how long you been feeling like that?

patient, ever since I've been lidl

If your Drs ever busy and you need a check up… Aldi it

That Asda be the worst joke ever!"

There’s no Safeway to say a shitty joke I’m afraid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"someone told me this other night

Dr Dr.. i keep thinking I'm a supermarket..

Dr replies, how long you been feeling like that?

patient, ever since I've been lidl

If your Drs ever busy and you need a check up… Aldi it "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"someone told me this other night

Dr Dr.. i keep thinking I'm a supermarket..

Dr replies, how long you been feeling like that?

patient, ever since I've been lidl

If your Drs ever busy and you need a check up… Aldi it

That Asda be the worst joke ever!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was born my dad asked my mum "what do you want to call him?" She says "Nathan"

He shouts "ye cannae call him Nathan, ye have tae call him somethin!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two cows in a field, which one's on holiday?

The one with the wee calf.

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"someone told me this other night

Dr Dr.. i keep thinking I'm a supermarket..

Dr replies, how long you been feeling like that?

patient, ever since I've been lidl

If your Drs ever busy and you need a check up… Aldi it "

Watch it. He jus wants to Coop a feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"someone told me this other night

Dr Dr.. i keep thinking I'm a supermarket..

Dr replies, how long you been feeling like that?

patient, ever since I've been lidl

If your Drs ever busy and you need a check up… Aldi it

Watch it. He jus wants to Coop a feel. "

Are you guys trying to make a supermarket sweep

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By *tormin1965Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

If Fanny Sunneson, Nick Faldo’s caddy had married VJ Sing, on the tour, would that have made her

Fanny Sing

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By *orge71Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Dr Can you have a look at my willy?

Why? Whats wrong it?

Nothing its a cracker isnt it

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By *HSSGMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh/East Lothian


"Sitting here greeting at some old Scottish jokes, we really do have a rare sense of humour.

“What’s the difference between Bing Crosby n Walt Disney? Bing sings but Walt disnae” aw naw hahahah

“Why shouldn’t you wear soviet underwear? Cause Chernobyl fall oot”

Right wan mare:

“A pregnant women phoned her husband and tell him that her waters just broke.

He’s laht: I’ll come pick you up. Where you ringing fae?

She’s laht: Fae ma knickers to ma ankles! Hurry up!”

Literal tears people… is there something wrong with me or do all Scots love chronically shite patter"

Greeting at this like

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By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Him: “Put yir haun up my kilt”.

Her: “Ewww. That’s gruesome”.

Him: “Put yir haun up again. It’s grew some mair”.

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