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My Question of the Moment

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By *ewels74 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus

I guess since ive been away ive had opportunities and what not..No i havent been meeting anyone, but i have been skyping a long distance friend in the states, and just not long started to talk to him on voice also, since ive now managed to fix my Mic...

Anyways for a few months we have kind of been in our own little bubble until a month back and well my question is and it has me confused totally at the same time, as he told me "he is Poly and loves many, so he has now someone else as well, and has made her his babygirl sub, and he is her daddy dom and loves her to bits also" He sees me as His Sub and slave who seems in his mind enjoys extreme pain, and until i told him being loving and cuddly in a way would be good also..anyways im drifting

In regards to anyone else here, what is your thoughts on Poly relationships and do you agree with them, can you be in love with many, i have a big heart and i yes i can be in love if i fall in love - but can you tell me and in a way it makes me feel like i will be less important to him..again its a long distance thing and no one knows if we will ever meet, the other girl is like married rl and as well a Poly.

Should someone make the excuse of being Poly to see others and what not is my question...and im genuinally curious.

So to other Polys if there is any what are your views?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say delete..

He's playing with your head and emotions.

Auds x

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By *ewels74 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus

Point is ive known him a yr, he noticed i was having issues with someone else and then we got close, we were roleplaying inworld as well together and then we were skyping as well a lot, im his submissive as well, but over a month back he had brought in someone else and i never knew this either and then i found it out accidently and i refer her to being a thing, i dont like her whatsoever, but he has hurt me a lot by not telling me, cause i have strong feelings for him in the last few months as we were spending hours just talking and talking and he eventually got me speaking in Skype and doing stuff, that i would never do with anyone else, given the fact i rarely chat via voice.

Ive now been feeling over the past 2 weeks that things have changed in a way, he has a rl daughter who is only 4 and the centre of his universe and things, but since she has come on the scene he more or less has told me to deal with it and stuff and keeps bringing in the Poly lifestyle to me and being poly he loves everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You said it yourself

He saw you were having issues and he's jumped at the chance to manipulate the situation.

It seemed to me to be a 1 way thing...you give and he's doing the taking.

Only you can decide but is he not ment to make you happy?

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By *ewels74 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus

He had been making me happy a lot and i do mean a lot, hell i had no eyes for anyone else tbh, its like as he has also said he was trying to get my confidence back up after i was hurt by someone, and yeah he says he loves and cares for me but as he said in his own words "He is polyamourous and well he cant just love one...

This is what makes me frustrated in a way as i know he told me this months back but and he has told me that i need to deal with the fact that there will be more and things...He doesnt realise i was with someone else who treated me like that as well in a way and its like full circle and no i couldnt leave him if i tried as i see him as my best friend also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well....

Looks like you have answered your own question x

Auds x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bin him... end of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know your too old but it is a form of grooming x and he can do what he wants as the two of you shall never meet. Bit fantasy land on his behalf but hey whatever rocks your boat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed with ricky

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By *ewels74 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus

no one is grooming me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe not grooming

But hes calling all the shots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree Janda I think you need to just chill I read your profile although long you give too much put and some creeps can really use what you have written to abuse you or your trust. Keep some of yourself back and just be careful xxxx

Grooming can be seen as using your information to their benefit so be cautious with giving your trust and servitude too easily xxx

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By *ewels74 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus

oh may i add...smiles....but We never met on here, just thought i would mention that, we chat elsewhere and online socialise kind of thing, but we also talk via Skype also...Im one of the most private people going and on my profile it shows you my personality and what i like in a way...Nothing more....

AS i said also i was questioning the Poly situation, it has not been answered i think.

And i might add i am not that naive and i have to say i do NOT trust people easily and i keep myself seriously quiet a lot of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in all honestly

i think its a control thing,,

you have never met,,prob never will yet he can tell you what to do and not what not to do,,

maybe suggest you also meet/speak to others and see how he feels?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell him to fuck off, simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never mind anyone else hunni, u gotta ask yourself if your happy with the 'arrangement' u currently have with this guy and his seeing and meeting other ppl. Sounds to me like your not and I personally would turn and walk away and get on with your own life. only u can decide.

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By *ewels74 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus

rubs forehead - Im Happy, i am, the thing that had me feeling hurt a little and of course it is his life and he can do what he wants with it -

Gah seriously i seem to be making it sound more complicated than it should be when it shouldnt be - He is a Dom, I am his Sub but in another part of the world, and he tells me all the time im as important to him, just as other females are as important to him...

Now this is the question im asking and have been trying to get around all day - to him (and yes for the past wk we have been fighting about this soo much seems i drove him to drink on saturday lol)

His excuse is that he is Poly, and being poly he has a big heart and there will always be other females - What is wrong with just one meh even this to me is sounding more complicated in the way i write it and i have known him a yr.

Oh i know and can get on with my own life, but knowing that he is there is also a good thing, i never walk away from friendships, because first and foremost we are friends.

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By *ewels74 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus


"in all honestly

i think its a control thing,,

you have never met,,prob never will yet he can tell you what to do and not what not to do,,

maybe suggest you also meet/speak to others and see how he feels?"

Oh i asked this to him yonks ago and i was told no, then gradually he has gone on to tell me that i need to go on rl dates...have play dates again and no this is not the reason why i am back here, it is because i need to and want to me...But he did tell me he didnt have to like it either but would deal with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is polly just an excuse to being a puppet master?

As I said before...I do not understand the sub/ thingy but surely it would be better to at least be in the same country?

Ok if its friendship...brill someone to chat too...

But think you should leave the dom thing to someone closer to home.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well be there for each other (as friends) and u do your own thing. Simple

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

if you have to ask then its not for you........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gut feeling after reading what you've desribed is bin him.

Alternatively, stay friends but don't let him call the shots. But it sounds like he's quite persuasive if he's managed to have so much influence over you from the other side of world and without having met. In which case it could turn into too much of a headfuck to stay friends.

It sounds like you want to be someone's sole focus and that's fairly normal. You deserve that. Don't sell yourself short. It'd just eat away at your self-esteem.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Polys have multiple relationships and in some countrys even marry several diffrent people having children with them and all living in the same house.

What you've got to ask yourself seriously is if this man lived in this country do you think you would have a relationship with him if you knew he was having relationships with other women or be married to a few of them ?

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