FabSwingers.com forum: Don't punch

By *haifuar OP Man
over a year ago

Dumbarton

.. above your weight.

Spotted a few profiles that include the above statement, including some I wouldn't touch with a barge pole never mind a boxing glove.

Are there folk on your hotlist who you admit are "out of your league", and if so how do you know?

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

If I come across a profile warning people to not punch above their weight (I haven't so far actually), I'd stay well clear. Massive egos aren't attractive in the slightest x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly I don’t think there is such a thing tbh people are attracted by all sorts of different things, I don’t think you should ever discount someone based upon their appearance, I’m sure bubbly will be the first to say I was walking about with blinkers on for several of my more recent love interests lol personality always gets me before anything else my ex husband was defo not physically the type of guy I’d have ever gone for but I learned to love the chub

Turns out he loved a lot more than he let on lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I dont think anyone is out of anyone's league only those who think they are!

If people feel that way then it says more about them than the people they think and out of their league

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defo guys I'd feel a bit intimidated by.but anyone that says I'm punching n their profile I would defo scroll on by.

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Same here. Anyone that starts assuming a scale of quality is prone to being judgmental all over the place. Same applies to profiles with loads of conditions and preferences and demands. No thanks.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Same here. Anyone that starts assuming a scale of quality is prone to being judgmental all over the place. Same applies to profiles with loads of conditions and preferences and demands. No thanks. "
Totally

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

"Same here. Anyone that starts assuming a scale of quality is prone to being judgmental all over the place. Same applies to profiles with loads of conditions and preferences and demands. No thanks. "

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

"Same here. Anyone that starts assuming a scale of quality is prone to being judgmental all over the place. Same applies to profiles with loads of conditions and preferences and demands. No thanks. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attraction is a funny one. I prefer someone who can make me laugh over all other things. Who I may consider good looking someone else won’t. I met a couple who were “out my league” but I had a bloody good time.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Attraction is a funny one. I prefer someone who can make me laugh over all other things. Who I may consider good looking someone else won’t. I met a couple who were “out my league” but I had a bloody good time.

Never mind out of your league, your nipples are out of this world………I’ll get my coat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never mind out of your league, your nipples are out of this world………I’ll get my coat

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By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I have genuinely never seen a profile with such a statement.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Met some nice couples on here where the wife was very attractive and a great figure and felt a bit intimidated as I’m a cross between a Troll and an Ewok, but you know once she started sucking my cock all my anxiety faded away

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By *otrock-cplCouple
over a year ago

Glenrothes

Anyone who says that need to be punched themselves in order to bring them back down to reality.

There’s nobody in the swinging world or world in general that’s any better than the next person.

We all come out of the same place and we are all ending up in a box end of.

Can’t abide anyone who thinks there greater than anyone else.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Anyone who says that need to be punched themselves in order to bring them back down to reality.

There’s nobody in the swinging world or world in general that’s any better than the next person.

We all come out of the same place and we are all ending up in a box end of.

Can’t abide anyone who thinks there greater than anyone else."
Sadly there are many of them .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s one or two replies above that are quite sweeping with the level of judgement and I think the issue is being a little misunderstood.

I am as average as a guy could be, I am but just me afterall, many other users of the site will be of the same mindset with themselves.

I do sometimes find profiles that I consider to be out my league so I don’t reach out to them but I’ve yet to find a profile, look at it and decide that I am out of their league.

That’s the key difference imo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said attraction is not set in stone, there are preconceived images of what people should look like (see any dating show on TV)

I know I’m not what most people look for so I let my voice do the work, I’m not some smooth talking guys with all the right chat either but as people talk with me and get to know me more that’s when the get attracted to me, it’s a shame our daily life’s have all become about getting everything done fast and now, we don’t take the time in anything

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Never seen profiles that specifically use that phrase, but I have seen quite a few that say they are only looking for "attractive" or "good looking" people which I find a bit odd because these things are entirely subjective so dont know if I am what they find attractive/good looking.

I'm definitely turned off by any profiles that have even a hint of arrogance or superiority. Of course maybe those are just the ones where I'm punching above my weight

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By *assNGuyCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"There’s one or two replies above that are quite sweeping with the level of judgement and I think the issue is being a little misunderstood.

I am as average as a guy could be, I am but just me afterall, many other users of the site will be of the same mindset with themselves.

I do sometimes find profiles that I consider to be out my league so I don’t reach out to them but I’ve yet to find a profile, look at it and decide that I am out of their league.

That’s the key difference imo. "

I think it’s personal perception or assumptions that people make or at least for me it is (Lass) I don’t feel anyone is out of my league… but i am guilty of making assumptions such as yourself boyofwonder i would look at your pics and think mmm yeah nice body… and assume me being a bigger lass wouldn’t appeal to you.

Thats not me saying i think your better than me or that your out of my league or i would have no chance.

Neither is it me saying i lack confidence or that i am ashamed of my body. I’m not.

Your key difference hints at you may lack a little self love and confidence.

As for profile’s that state punching above weight, I typically assume them to be egotistical and vain and as stated above that isn’t in slightest an attractive quality. They can happily on both parts keep their delusions of the skin depth far from me as a person and my attraction goes beyond appearance in many facets and aspects.

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

[Removed by poster at 30/08/21 23:33:42]

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

What I've noticed over a long period of time.

Some people use the word "Professional" on their profiles.

In relation to swinging it means feck all.

Categorising people in leagues sounds horrendous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats not me saying i think your better than me or that your out of my league or i would have no chance.

Neither is it me saying i lack confidence or that i am ashamed of my body. I’m not.

Your key difference hints at you may lack a little self love and confidence.

I think we are of a very similar view tbh.

I’d reply to your mention of assumptions with you being a little bigger and possibly not a certain body types ‘type’, again everyone likes different things, I’ve seen many good looking gym fit guys absolutely besotted with plus size women. That assumption is the very same I make when I see women that I often choose not to reach out to, we must all be guilty of it to some extent.

It’s one of those things, we all have a little self doubt to some extent and need reminded that the world would be super boring if we all liked the same type of sexual partner.

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

I don't really give a feck on body types. What she has got or not got. Its never really been my thing.

For me, there needs to be communication and banter and some nice personality.

You could be a Page 3 pin up but if ya talk pish..ye can feck off.

Not unless, ya can make a good homemade Macaroni n Cheese.

Just sayin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder .. assumptions and judgements are usually made of what someone looks like (first impressions) and usually someone who looks at themselves as inferior or "punching above their weight" says more about them than it does others due to low self esteem.. unfortunately some mistake confidence as arrogance which isn't always the case .. this world would be a dull place if we all liked the same .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really hate that phrase, if I ever come across it I'm blocking instantly. It stinks of big egos and bad attitude

Claire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guaranteed to be written by someone who thinks the ability to achieve a 6 pack, boob job or toned ass is enough to make them attractive, whilst having zero personality or humour and being void of anything interesting other than said physical attribute

(*disclaimer: that's not to say if you have any of the specified attributes you're guaranteed to be the kind of person who says that!)

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By *4Fun11Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I have genuinely never seen a profile with such a statement."

^^^^this^^^^

And if I did I would steer well clear.

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By *assNGuyCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder .. assumptions and judgements are usually made of what someone looks like (first impressions) and usually someone who looks at themselves as inferior or "punching above their weight" says more about them than it does others due to low self esteem.. unfortunately some mistake confidence as arrogance which isn't always the case .. this world would be a dull place if we all liked the same . "

What you say is possible and ain’t denying that but like many things in life it’s not cut and dry or simple.

Some people are delusional, some are lacking self esteem and confidence.

Everyone has their preferences and attractions. For me yes I can think someone is hot but that isn’t enough to have me want to play with them, i need more than shallow vanity.

Believe this post was started in regards to profiles that state don’t punch above weight and as such I answered on that narrative not the complexity of society as a whole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really give a feck on body types. What she has got or not got. Its never really been my thing.

For me, there needs to be communication and banter and some nice personality.

You could be a Page 3 pin up but if ya talk pish..ye can feck off.

Not unless, ya can make a good homemade Macaroni n Cheese.

Just sayin.

FYI I make amazing Mac cheese

I’m a bit of a feeder and I’m as confident in the kitchen as I am the bedroom and well everywhere else for that matter lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I punch above my weight a lot but I put the down to my sparkling personality and shit jokes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you say is possible and ain’t denying that but like many things in life it’s not cut and dry or simple.

Some people are delusional, some are lacking self esteem and confidence.

Everyone has their preferences and attractions. For me yes I can think someone is hot but that isn’t enough to have me want to play with them, i need more than shallow vanity.

Believe this post was started in regards to profiles that state don’t punch above weight and as such I answered on that narrative not the complexity of society as a whole."

I was replying to the posts on the thread about others perceptions of thinking they are punching above their weight.. if you see above my post others have done so .. on the point of first impressions that comes from initial attractions and is usually formed on the way someone looks and then other factors come in I.e. personality , kindness etc .. I've never known anyone to look at a profile avatar and think oh I bet they have a good personality .. its not about vanity it's just a fact .. but usually when someone thinks they are out of someone's league that's a perception they put on to others due to their own self asteem .. correct me if I'm wrong but I thought this was a public forum so therefore I was free to chime in

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

They would need to punch really hard to get above my weight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They would need to punch really hard to get above my weight

or mine, top answer of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They would need to punch really hard to get above my weight

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By *ilverminxWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

I hate that phrase. It’s a way for people to put each other down. I had a friend who’s family said that to him about me and I thought that was horrifying. Imagine your own family saying that? Disgusting.

We all have a type but it’s upto you whether you think someone is worth your time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are there folk on your hotlist who you admit are "out of your league", and if so how do you know?

Nope.

Well I won't admit they are out of my league.

I'll send a speculative message once in a blue moon and sometimes I'm what they are looking for, sometimes I'm not.

I refuse point blank to let others opinions of me influence how I see myself. I played that game for too long last time I was on fab and potentially missed out on great meets because I thought they were out of my league.

When I look back on the meets I had, I ended up meeting some amazing ladies (and couples for that matter) who were all willing and happy to meet me again. That sort of confidence builder of knowing that I wasn't a cock of convenience when there weren't any better offers about gives you the ability to see past the negativity that some people seem so keen to spread. Would I have said I was punching above my weight? Back then, probably...

Now, I see everyone as equals. I'm no better than anyone else, and no one is better than me.

I do think some people thrive and even get turned on by being part of the "beautiful people" set and take even more pleasure from actively rejecting people because they can. Granted, and as others have rightly said, not everyone is attracted to everyone else, but when you put yourself on a pedestal, you leave yourself in a tricky position.

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By *ink-KameraMan
over a year ago

Livingston

Thankfully we all like different things and different people. If we are lucky we get to meet people we like that also like us. However when you see someone you do like don't get but hurt if they don't like you back in the same way. After all we all like different types of music/TV shows ECT but you don't fall out or send nasty messages to anyone who likes a different TV show from you do you?

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