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More or less confident?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I would have to say that since hitting 40, I've gained so much more confidence. Not just sexually but with my body. I'm not self conscious like I was in my 20's even though the lumpy and wobbly bits are more pronounced! Am I alone in feeling this way?

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

Glad too hear of you're positive outlook.

Ya look great.

Well done

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"I would have to say that since hitting 40, I've gained so much more confidence. Not just sexually but with my body. I'm not self conscious like I was in my 20's even though the lumpy and wobbly bits are more pronounced! Am I alone in feeling this way? "
Ive always been a confident person but like a lot of people from time to time the self doubt creeps in with days of feeling fabulous to days of feeling rubbish.

We all have something we dislike about ourselves.

How others see me is not my worry tho & I don't need people's opinions of how they see me either because all that matters is that I feel good despite others opinions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The magic of hitting 40 is real. I honestly don't care what anyone else thinks of me. I am what I am and entitled to take my curvy little self off and have as much fun as I want along with swingers half my age. Keep it real and enjoy

Claire

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

At 40 I decided to stop giving a fuck what others thought of me. That, and leaving my controlling ex, brought about a feeling of liberation. Finding myself at college to get on a new career path, which has led to further study has been empowering.

Aye! 40’s have been good for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good to hear some positive vibes, Had a cheeky look at your pictures, looking pretty good, I would probably agree about getting more confident as i get older, i stopped smoking at 40,so i think that's helped with mind and body.

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie


"At 40 I decided to stop giving a fuck what others thought of me. That, and leaving my controlling ex, brought about a feeling of liberation. Finding myself at college to get on a new career path, which has led to further study has been empowering.

Aye! 40’s have been good for me! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a huge shift in confidence and self esteem when I turned 30. My birthday coincided with a minor breakdown, and I came out of it with a completely different outlook. I'm not body confident and I have big issues with my weight, but I no longer look for validation from others. I dress for my comfort and taste, not for fashion or trends, and I've stopped trying to fit my personality to what I think others want (amongst other changes).

It's led to me feeling happier, less anxious, succeeding at goals, having better sex, better relationship and better friendships.

Still a long way to go though, can't wait for any epihanys on my 40th

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By *izzmasterzeroMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Not quite hit 40 yet but I have definitely noticed that I am more confident with age. Growing up I spent my time staring down at the ground only talking when someone talked to me giving them a simple yes no answer, in a room full of people I was that guy standing awkwardly alone in the corner not talking to anyone, couldn't look people in the eye either (I still feel a little weird looking people in the eye but I can do it for a few seconds at least). The older I've become the less fucks I give and I just get on with my shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would have to say that since hitting 40, I've gained so much more confidence. Not just sexually but with my body. I'm not self conscious like I was in my 20's even though the lumpy and wobbly bits are more pronounced! Am I alone in feeling this way? "

I think a lot of the confidence when you get older comes from all the other achievements you’ve had, things that you’ve overcome and it doesn’t seem so significant as it perhaps is when you’re younger and trying to find your place in society. A lot of women say they feel like they age better yet men are the opposite, most guys lose confidence as they get older

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By *ing_of_the_swingers400Man
over a year ago

edinbugh

Defo like many on here feel more confident in my 40’s than at any other stage in my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a meltdown when I hit 40 but overall, with age and experience I realised that I can do what I want and when I want and no one will tell me otherwise. As for my body, I've never felt more confident in how I look and I feel great for it. Age has blossomed how I feel within myself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely feel more confident now than i did when i was in my teens-twenties, think it is when you start to realise everyone has struggles about how they look in some way, And that you may not be as horrible as you convince yourself you are.

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

Some days more, some days less …. I’ve spent the last 23 years of my life on constant diets and being body conscious! I am working on accepting me for being me but it’s a hard habit to break. Every day my husband tells me how fantastic I am and tbh he is the only one that really counts x

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

This may come as a surprise to those who know me.

Most of my instigation of fun & banter on here over many years is on the back of a negative (hurt)

Am I confident on here - Absolutely

In reality - Hell Noooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good friend who i have known for 25+ years has commented that she feels ive less confident than I used to me and asked what in life knocked it out of me

Wasnt a paid therapy session so i didnt go into specifics lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My confidence has grown since passing 40 but I'm preparing myself for the cliff edge when I hit 50.

I feel that my fab shelf life is going to expire. It is tough enough standing out from the crowd locally, but add an extra year to my age and I think I'll be reset to my less confident 40 again...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This may come as a surprise to those who know me.

Most of my instigation of fun & banter on here over many years is on the back of a negative (hurt)

Am I confident on here - Absolutely

In reality - Hell Noooooo

"

I think a lot of people feel the same, without the social pressures and anxiety they feel they can be the more confident version of themselves online. Fake it till you make it sweetie xxx

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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

Wait till ya all hit 50.

I phoned the sanarirans and I was transfered to a call centre in Afghanistan.

I found it feckin strange when they asked if I could drive a tank.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

My 40’s have been my best decade ever and I intend to take it forward to my 50’s next year!

Like others getting rid of a controlling ex helped me discover my value and appreciate myself (and let others appreciate me too )

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"This may come as a surprise to those who know me.

Most of my instigation of fun & banter on here over many years is on the back of a negative (hurt)

Am I confident on here - Absolutely

In reality - Hell Noooooo

"
Im not surprised at all by that .

There are many like you !

Sometimes that's what people find appealing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's less about the number and more about the mindset. The older you get the more in touch with reality you become well I have anyway. As someone mentioned, there are life achievements to appreciate and I imagine the concept of having more years behind me than ahead of me makes me focus more on what I feel/believe/need than the opinion of transient people I meet day to day. Its an old line but true, if you feel good about yourself, it shines through. I might not be the best/prettiest/cleverest but I'm sure not the worst either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's less about the number and more about the mindset. The older you get the more in touch with reality you become well I have anyway. As someone mentioned, there are life achievements to appreciate and I imagine the concept of having more years behind me than ahead of me makes me focus more on what I feel/believe/need than the opinion of transient people I meet day to day. Its an old line but true, if you feel good about yourself, it shines through. I might not be the best/prettiest/cleverest but I'm sure not the worst either. "

Your one of the sexiest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will let you know in April when I turn 40

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's less about the number and more about the mindset. The older you get the more in touch with reality you become well I have anyway. As someone mentioned, there are life achievements to appreciate and I imagine the concept of having more years behind me than ahead of me makes me focus more on what I feel/believe/need than the opinion of transient people I meet day to day. Its an old line but true, if you feel good about yourself, it shines through. I might not be the best/prettiest/cleverest but I'm sure not the worst either.

Your one of the sexiest"

And you're a wee flirt but nice with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confidence can definitely come with age and experience. I love this poem by the fabulous Maya Angelou who overcame much hardship and achieved so much in her life. She possessed a truly inspiring inner strength and an indomitable spirit.

STILL I RISE

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don’t you take it awful hard

’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I’ve got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the s lave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's less about the number and more about the mindset. The older you get the more in touch with reality you become well I have anyway. As someone mentioned, there are life achievements to appreciate and I imagine the concept of having more years behind me than ahead of me makes me focus more on what I feel/believe/need than the opinion of transient people I meet day to day. Its an old line but true, if you feel good about yourself, it shines through. I might not be the best/prettiest/cleverest but I'm sure not the worst either.

Your one of the sexiest

And you're a wee flirt but nice with it "

It's a guilty pleasure of mine

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By *aptain BrubakerMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

It wasn't until I was 40 I had the confidence to deal with an abusive ex. Up until then I thought the answer was to lie and cover things up but hitting 40 made me reassess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It wasn't until I was 40 I had the confidence to deal with an abusive ex. Up until then I thought the answer was to lie and cover things up but hitting 40 made me reassess. "

Well done, bullying/abuse or threatening behaviour is a horrible thing to do to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm getting less confidence as time goes on but hopefully going to manage to lose some weight on my current new diet, always seem to fall off the wagon at some point though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It wasn't until I was 40 I had the confidence to deal with an abusive ex. Up until then I thought the answer was to lie and cover things up but hitting 40 made me reassess.

Well done, bullying/abuse or threatening behaviour is a horrible thing to do to someone. "
here here

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