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Pineapple club

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

I saw a post on one of the forums a little while back about pineapples. Allegedly having a pineapple on display in your shopping trolley in a supermarket is a declaration that you're a swinger.

Initially I thought what a great idea but it has become very expensive. I often pop into the shop for one or two things but now feel obliged to buy a pineapple every time too. Worse still, I ended up with a black eye and a very sore groin after making sexual suggestions to an elderly lady who must, in hindsight, really have been shopping for a pineapple!

What would be better to use than a pineapple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A badge saying , smile if your a swinger.

Bet loads will be looking at you and smiling.

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"A badge saying , smile if your a swinger.

Bet loads will be looking at you and smiling. "

Is that what you use?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Expensive?

They're only 69p in aldi

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Ohhh! For a moment I thought you were talking about pineapples for an entirely different reason!

I’ve not heard about pineapple in the trolley indicating it’s soon to be owner is a swinger. But I like pineapple and buy it frequently to eat.

The item in the trolley should be something that isn’t purchased so often, meaning that you aren’t accusing every clean living pineapple eater of being a sex fiend!

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"Ohhh! For a moment I thought you were talking about pineapples for an entirely different reason!

I’ve not heard about pineapple in the trolley indicating it’s soon to be owner is a swinger. But I like pineapple and buy it frequently to eat.

The item in the trolley should be something that isn’t purchased so often, meaning that you aren’t accusing every clean living pineapple eater of being a sex fiend!

"

Now that you have expressed a love of pineapple I'm beginning to see a very strong correlation with being a sex friend. I like pineapple too

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Learnt an interesting fact about pineapples.

To stop them being eaten they produce a flesh eating enzyme to ward of predators. But humans are super predators, we're tough....

But.....

Every time you each a piece it is effectively eating the flesh inside your mouth!!!!

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Learnt an interesting fact about pineapples.

To stop them being eaten they produce a flesh eating enzyme to ward of predators. But humans are super predators, we're tough....

But.....

Every time you each a piece it is effectively eating the flesh inside your mouth!!!!

"

They do burn you mouth when you eat too much!

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"Learnt an interesting fact about pineapples.

To stop them being eaten they produce a flesh eating enzyme to ward of predators. But humans are super predators, we're tough....

But.....

Every time you each a piece it is effectively eating the flesh inside your mouth!!!!

"

A bit like salt and vinegar crisps then!

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By *oast888Man
over a year ago

cambuslang

I would have thought pushing your trolley around while holding an eggplant would be far more recognisable ??????

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"I would have thought pushing your trolley around while holding an eggplant would be far more recognisable ??????"

Anyone calling it eggplant is immediately blocked! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A badge saying , smile if your a swinger.

Bet loads will be looking at you and smiling.

Is that what you use? "

Nope, I don't feel the need to advertise I'm a swinger.

I do like pineapple mind you.

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"A badge saying , smile if your a swinger.

Bet loads will be looking at you and smiling.

Is that what you use?

Nope, I don't feel the need to advertise I'm a swinger.

I do like pineapple mind you. "

Fair enough. Will assume you're not a swinger then unless you suggest anything different.

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By *ettercallsaul118Man
over a year ago

Funtown

I heard one e tying a shopping bag in a bow in front of your trolley suggested you were a swinger.

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By *exicolaMan
over a year ago

West Lothian

TBF they are usually near the front of the shop so just pop one I'm the trolley and discard it at the bread isle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love pineapple and usually like to buy them already sliced up in the tubs in the fruit and salad aisle. No one's ever batted an eyelid or maybe there's just no swingers in at the time I go shopping x

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By *herrySnickersWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Ohh I love pineapple... must be buying more of them...

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Expensive?

They're only 69p in aldi "

Tepache time then

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By *ornyfuckers66Couple
over a year ago

fife

We need to come out like the LGBT+ brigade never mind pineapple.

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By *andy_FraserTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Fresh pineapple, although tasty is always a mess when you're cutting it up.

Last time I had pineapple was to tenderise a steak.

But back onto the subject at hand, wasn't there a suggestion that a certain type of ring worn on a certain finger?

Mandy

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"I heard one e tying a shopping bag in a bow in front of your trolley suggested you were a swinger. "

I'll trial that for a while instead

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"TBF they are usually near the front of the shop so just pop one I'm the trolley and discard it at the bread isle "

Excellent idea. That will save some money

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"I love pineapple and usually like to buy them already sliced up in the tubs in the fruit and salad aisle. No one's ever batted an eyelid or maybe there's just no swingers in at the time I go shopping x"

Maybe there's a specific supermarket where most swingers go but we haven't been told about.

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By *ero666Man
over a year ago

fife

Just get a big pampas grass for your trolley

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"Ohh I love pineapple... must be buying more of them... "

It all helps the pineapple economy and proudly declares 'I'm a swinger' lol

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"We need to come out like the LGBT+ brigade never mind pineapple. "

The revolution begins

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"Just get a big pampas grass for your trolley "

Last time I picked up a big pampas grass in the garden centre I discovered a Japanese sniper there!

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By *ero666Man
over a year ago

fife

Was it Hiroo Onoda ?

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By *orders Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kelso


"Was it Hiroo Onoda ?"

It could well have been but I didn't stop to ask. I took cover in the compost section!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love pineapple and usually like to buy them already sliced up in the tubs in the fruit and salad aisle. No one's ever batted an eyelid or maybe there's just no swingers in at the time I go shopping x

Maybe there's a specific supermarket where most swingers go but we haven't been told about. "

If they go to Aldi then they're shy lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Play the jungle book song as your ringtone and get your other half to keep calling you

I’m the king of the swingers woooah the jungle vip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about fab lollies and a tube of KY in the kiddie seat part of the trolley

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could hang a shower gel from the front of the trolley. Obvious but not unrealistic because most cheaper shower gels have that hook for the shower pool . And it would just look like it's caught on there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I heard one e tying a shopping bag in a bow in front of your trolley suggested you were a swinger. "
Yeah this is the one I remember hearing, tried it in Morrissons a few times

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By *wingersgardenMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

If it's true, then this place must be a great party venue!

https://www.nts.org.uk/visit/places/the-pineapple

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By *ornyfuckers66Couple
over a year ago

fife


"We need to come out like the LGBT+ brigade never mind pineapple.

The revolution begins "

You first ! Or maybe an upside down rainbow

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth


"Ohhh! For a moment I thought you were talking about pineapples for an entirely different reason!

I’ve not heard about pineapple in the trolley indicating it’s soon to be owner is a swinger. But I like pineapple and buy it frequently to eat.

The item in the trolley should be something that isn’t purchased so often, meaning that you aren’t accusing every clean living pineapple eater of being a sex fiend!

"

I once saw a pineapple used as a impact toy, it was incredible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go to aldi every sat morning around 10 in Kirkcaldy and my pineapple is upside down lol no approaches yet lol

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By *aytimefun4usMan
over a year ago

Wishaw


"TBF they are usually near the front of the shop so just pop one I'm the trolley and discard it at the bread isle "

Guess who shops at Aldi then?

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