FabSwingers.com forum: Inappropriate similes

By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

A simile is a figure of speech that compares two things.

The other evening I stated that 'feta cheese is like solidified sperm' which somewhat disgusted the polite company I was with at the time.

What inappropriate similes have you used that haven't been fully appreciated?

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By *utdooryoneMan
over a year ago

Over there

That's a funny one...

Mine are usually grammatically incorrect rather than inappropriate...

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"That's a funny one...

Mine are usually grammatically incorrect rather than inappropriate...

So long as they're amusing because of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard someone doing the loudest pee in history from outside the bathroom. Apparently I'm the gross one for asking him if he was frying chicken in there lol x

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By *ock69erMan
over a year ago

Middle o’ Fife

'feta cheese is like solidified sperm'

...

How on earth could you know that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it was icy and a neighbour asked if it was slippy outside, i told her the road was slippier than an 21yr old,

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"Heard someone doing the loudest pee in history from outside the bathroom. Apparently I'm the gross one for asking him if he was frying chicken in there lol x"

Lmao

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"'feta cheese is like solidified sperm'

...

How on earth could you know that ? "

Well it's how I imagine solidified sperm would look if it was shaped in the same way. As for the taste...

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"When it was icy and a neighbour asked if it was slippy outside, i told her the road was slippier than an 21yr old,

Lmao and how well was that received?

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Fanny like a skinned chickens arse

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By *aby girl32Woman
over a year ago

Leigh lancs

When your fried egg isn't quite cooked and the raw bit looks like sperms. Cummy eggs ewww

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"Fanny like a skinned chickens arse "

That summons up a vision lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In work someone was reading a magazine that had a story about a woman with 17 children.

Que my colleagues comment "Christ it must look like a grenade went off in a deli down there"

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"When your fried egg isn't quite cooked and the raw bit looks like sperms. Cummy eggs ewww"

Just how I like them lol

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

In the trade we had a term for leather

Stretches like a whores fanny

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"In work someone was reading a magazine that had a story about a woman with 17 children.

Que my colleagues comment "Christ it must look like a grenade went off in a deli down there" "

Now that is very descriptive lol

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"In the trade we had a term for leather

Stretches like a whores fanny "

Now I know where to get leather from

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

"In the trade we had a term for leather

Stretches like a whores fanny

Now I know where to get leather from "

A full skin if your interested lol

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By *ack-FMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Once tried to explain to a girlfriend what “Oxymoron “ meant ..... she thought I was insulting her....

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By *oast888Man
over a year ago

cambuslang

I once heard someone describe a particularly beat up vagina as being like the house from Jumanji

Made me laugh

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

Busby

Why is it curry sauce turns into a fuckin’ Yankee candle when you leave it 10 minutes ?

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By *ermahornMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

A fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla’s back

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"Once tried to explain to a girlfriend what “Oxymoron “ meant ..... she thought I was insulting her...."

Obviously an insult to stupid people for breathing lol

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"I once heard someone describe a particularly beat up vagina as being like the house from Jumanji

Made me laugh "

I can just imagine lol

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"A fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla’s back

A very hairy gash?

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By *orders Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Kelso

"Why is it curry sauce turns into a fuckin’ Yankee candle when you leave it 10 minutes ? "

Great during power cuts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yer boaby is like elbow skin when on one .

No feeling and useless

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