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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"" Or maybe you're just pleased to see me | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please " Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah? | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Or maybe you're just pleased to see me " I am! I am! Nobody's ordered a drink at the free bar. Wtf | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah?" I like to be sure!! Pat you down ....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah? I like to be sure!! Pat you down ....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously " You werni even hired! Yer just a perv! Where's the bouncer!? | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Or maybe you're just pleased to see me I am! I am! Nobody's ordered a drink at the free bar. Wtf" It's my game plan.. Stay sober and become more attractive to men with beer goggles | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah? I like to be sure!! Pat you down ....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously You werni even hired! Yer just a perv! Where's the bouncer!?" It’s alright, I’m here! I’ll have a vsl, barman! | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Or maybe you're just pleased to see me I am! I am! Nobody's ordered a drink at the free bar. Wtf It's my game plan.. Stay sober and become more attractive to men with beer goggles " Grab a chair and do your stuff. That will work way better than beer goggles. Watch out for the women, too, though. | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Or maybe you're just pleased to see me I am! I am! Nobody's ordered a drink at the free bar. Wtf" Bud light for me pls bottle or can not bothered as am only a light weight . Cheers barman/ barmaid | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah? I like to be sure!! Pat you down ....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously You werni even hired! Yer just a perv! Where's the bouncer!?" Watching the glamourous assistants pat doon the punters | |||
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon" Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah? I like to be sure!! Pat you down ....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously You werni even hired! Yer just a perv! Where's the bouncer!? Watching the glamourous assistants pat doon the punters " Can pat you down behind the bar if you like | |||
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"FFS. My bartender hasn't showed up for his shift, and the bouncer is being pat tested behind the bar by the wannabe bouncer. Shocking! " Its going to be a very very interesting night it seems | |||
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"Lager please...1 pint there of " Shocking service in here!!! Heres your pint young man | |||
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" please " See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. " You called??? | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. You called??? " Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl. | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. You called??? Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl. " *turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea? | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. You called??? Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl. *turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea?" Do you do sex on the beach? | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. You called??? Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl. *turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea? Do you do sex on the beach?" Of course. Who would you like to have sex with? | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. " sacked on my first night, Rude | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. You called??? Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl. *turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea? Do you do sex on the beach? Of course. Who would you like to have sex with? " Everyone? I just wanted a cocktail, though. | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. You called??? Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl. *turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea? Do you do sex on the beach? Of course. Who would you like to have sex with? Everyone? I just wanted a cocktail, though. " Oopsie my mistake, here's an extra large cocktail with umbrella and a cherry on a stick x | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude " Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! " You mean i can stay?? | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay?? " The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay?? The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. " Just been away checking the back alley gaffer, security precautions obvs | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay?? The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. " I only wanted to be behind the bar to get close to dynamic | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay?? The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. Just been away checking the back alley gaffer, security precautions obvs " That's anally attentive of you! Well done! Hope you shut the back door. | |||
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" please You wanting the usual lambrinni flirt " a nice red but they don’t do a red emoji (philistines!!!!!) | |||
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" please You wanting the usual lambrinni flirt a nice red but they don’t do a red emoji (philistines!!!!!) " Do you want the whole bottle? | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay?? The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. I only wanted to be behind the bar to get close to dynamic " Oooofftt, its a tight squeeze behind this bar too | |||
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"Are there nibbles??? Music??? Dance floor ??? " Yes yes and yes...whats your music of choice? | |||
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"A drink at a bar yes please, g&t with lots of ice.. X " Coming up gorgeous | |||
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" please See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay?? The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. I only wanted to be behind the bar to get close to dynamic Oooofftt, its a tight squeeze behind this bar too " I know and I like it | |||
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"Thank you... I'll stand at the bar then an watch the tight squeeze going on... " Feel free to jump the bar always room for a little un x | |||
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"Are there nibbles??? Music??? Dance floor ??? Yes yes and yes...whats your music of choice?" Has to be "The bartender and the job thief" by the Stereophonics. So apt. | |||
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"Are there nibbles??? Music??? Dance floor ??? Yes yes and yes...whats your music of choice? Has to be "The bartender and the job thief" by the Stereophonics. So apt. " I would be offended but I'm now squeezed inbetween dynamic and Nicole so I'm in my happy place right now | |||
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"Will do if you need a hand? ... I can be helpful when needed " Please do | |||
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"Thank you... I'll stand at the bar then an watch the tight squeeze going on... Feel free to jump the bar always room for a little un x" Hawd the bus, jumping the bar, thats a health and safety risk, wait for the lock in and dance on the bar instead | |||
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" please You wanting the usual lambrinni flirt a nice red but they don’t do a red emoji (philistines!!!!!) " A nice little glass of château la feate coming up | |||
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"What do you have am slightly hungry?... Been a long week.. Lol " What are you after? sure I can rustle something up to take your fancy | |||
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"Are there nibbles??? Music??? Dance floor ??? Yes yes and yes...whats your music of choice? Has to be "The bartender and the job thief" by the Stereophonics. So apt. I would be offended but I'm now squeezed inbetween dynamic and Nicole so I'm in my happy place right now " Menage a trois by Alcazar is up next. There's £20 left in the jukebox. Help yersels | |||
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"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies! " Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about... | |||
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"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies! Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about..." He's Dancin, see above | |||
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"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies! Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about...He's Dancin, see above " Tell him tae get back tae his work, then! One is thirsty... | |||
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"Let the staff dance... I can get the drink till his juke box money is up.. Gin coming up " Bless you sweetie. Have one on me. | |||
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"Sticks some tuuunnneess on the jukebox, throws Apron on the bar, and slides on to the dance floor " As the welsh boy Tam (he's some chanter btw) would sing "ye can keep yer hat on...." | |||
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"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies! Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about..." Small gin ! You've changed, im sure it used to be by the bucket | |||
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"Lovely, fancy a seat at the bar? " Best place to get a birds eye view of all the shenanigans | |||
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"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies! Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about..." You couldn't handle my nuts! They're chilli, or at least the were until Pat turned the heating up. | |||
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"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies! Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about... Small gin ! You've changed, im sure it used to be by the bucket " Ahem....do I know you??? | |||
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"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ???" The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order! | |||
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"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ??? The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order!" Thank the lordy, I only went out back for 5 mins and the place is madness | |||
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"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ??? The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order! Thank the lordy, I only went out back for 5 mins and the place is madness" Dae ah need to check out that back alley again | |||
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"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ??? The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order! Thank the lordy, I only went out back for 5 mins and the place is madness Dae ah need to check out that back alley again " Yes. Shall I come with you | |||
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"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ??? The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order! Thank the lordy, I only went out back for 5 mins and the place is madness Dae ah need to check out that back alley again Yes. Shall I come with you " Aye mon then, I need somebody to hold ma eh.... Hand | |||
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"Right, where are all these arses that need petted?" Patted even | |||
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"Fruity cocktail.. What's your favourite? " Can't go wrong with a Pina Colada. | |||
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"Right am finished dancin, i will leave it there with the Ricky Martin theme , what's everyone having then " Kittens. The bar will be closed by 10pm at this rate! Ration the posts, bouncer! | |||
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"Bejesus.....I only went and pulled so had to leave for a quick winch out the back Sorry folks drinks are enroute " I didn't mean that kinda sorting out ... I'll have a large brockmans please K | |||
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"FFS cunni you need to be sorting your staff out K" Haw Ma wee fanny, I’ve a half bottle of vodka down my knickers, want a sip? | |||
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"Thank you to the big spender who sent me a tray of cocktails " Ooh who is the admirer in the room.....send me some shots pretty please | |||
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"Bejesus.....I only went and pulled so had to leave for a quick winch out the back Sorry folks drinks are enroute I didn't mean that kinda sorting out ... I'll have a large brockmans please K" Served with a smile | |||
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"FFS cunni you need to be sorting your staff out K Haw Ma wee fanny, I’ve a half bottle of vodka down my knickers, want a sip? " Thanks I've got mine on the way now, is your vodka flavoured? K | |||
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"Bejesus.....I only went and pulled so had to leave for a quick winch out the back Sorry folks drinks are enroute I didn't mean that kinda sorting out ... I'll have a large brockmans please K Served with a smile " I bet your smiling K | |||
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"Self service it must be then... " We still talking about the drinks! | |||
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"Yeah wipes lipstick away,, what is everyone having then " Shhhhhh don't tell them all | |||
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"Bejesus.....I only went and pulled so had to leave for a quick winch out the back Sorry folks drinks are enroute I didn't mean that kinda sorting out ... I'll have a large brockmans please K Served with a smile I bet your smiling K" Yes yes I am | |||
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"Thank you to the big spender who sent me a tray of cocktails Ooh who is the admirer in the room.....send me some shots pretty please " Here you can have one of mine | |||
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"Staff can get a feel surly? ... Shots all round, and I've changed the music to something a bit more up tempo " Feel away | |||
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"Thank you to the big spender who sent me a tray of cocktails Ooh who is the admirer in the room.....send me some shots pretty please Here you can have one of mine " Thank you, im feeling the lurve in the room | |||
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"FFS cunni you need to be sorting your staff out K Haw Ma wee fanny, I’ve a half bottle of vodka down my knickers, want a sip? Thanks I've got mine on the way now, is your vodka flavoured? K" It’s vag flavoured now | |||
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"Bockmans and lots of ice coming up... Nxt time try it with chilli and coriander... You will love it promise x" Oh I'll need to get some coriander tomorrow n give this a try K | |||
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"FFS cunni you need to be sorting your staff out K Haw Ma wee fanny, I’ve a half bottle of vodka down my knickers, want a sip? Thanks I've got mine on the way now, is your vodka flavoured? K It’s vag flavoured now " That's what I thought... pour me one K | |||
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"Bockmans and lots of ice coming up... Nxt time try it with chilli and coriander... You will love it promise x Oh I'll need to get some coriander tomorrow n give this a try K" In your gin!!!! | |||
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"FFS cunni you need to be sorting your staff out K Haw Ma wee fanny, I’ve a half bottle of vodka down my knickers, want a sip? Thanks I've got mine on the way now, is your vodka flavoured? K It’s vag flavoured now That's what I thought... pour me one K" Hahaha ya dirty bitch! | |||
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"Yup... Gin, tonic, couple of slices of chilli and a few leaves of coriander Warms the throat..... " It would work in vodka too, wouldn’t it! | |||
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"It's a lock in.... Whoop whoop " Steps back and waits for the coyote ugly dancers to make their way to the bar | |||
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"It's a lock in.... Whoop whoop " Did someone say lick in. sorry lock in | |||
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"It could have been a typo... Lock in LOL..... Dancers are still back stage... And not coming out until there made to feel welcome " No prizes for guessing where my bartender and bouncer are, then. Pft. *Shakes heid* I'll probably need to review my recruitment process. | |||
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"Are there nibbles??? Music??? Dance floor ??? Yes yes and yes...whats your music of choice? Has to be "The bartender and the job thief" by the Stereophonics. So apt. " Fuck yes... Long digging Gone fishing Love drinking... | |||
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