FabSwingers.com forum: Dilemma

By *implyJayGee OP Man
over a year ago

Garthamlock

Have spotted a good friends partner on here. Has already been busted for cheating on other sites. It is beyond all reasonable doubt, and now I am totally caught between the rock and the hard place. Have kept it to myself but it’s eating at me.

Thoughts?

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

I’d say keep out of it avoid the drama . Hard to do I know think what could go wrong before you get involved then make your decision .

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By *oldswarriorMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Nothing to do with you. Just leave it.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Block.. these are not the droids your looking for.. memory wipe!!

Stay well clear...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very difficult situation but I’d agree with the above

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By *ootall2920Man
over a year ago

Linlithgow

"Block.. these are not the droids your looking for.. memory wipe!!

Stay well clear..."

this

Easy for us to say though.

Chances are that they'll be found out again if they've been found out before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll be the loser of interfering in that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes saying nothing is the best policy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has their own reasons for being here. I would leave well alone x

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

You don't know the situation it could well be consensual but even if not you'll only end up the loser

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

Ignore ... not worth the hassle, it’s their relationship x

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By *implyJayGee OP Man
over a year ago

Garthamlock

"You don't know the situation it could well be consensual but even if not you'll only end up the loser

I highly doubt it’s consensual given the reaction when the dating sites/apps discovery was made.

Thanks all, it’s an overwhelming response on the stay out side. Totally understand why. Horrible situation.

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By *ama bamaMan
over a year ago

dalkeith

deepends if you want to fuck the other half. if you can trust them go ahead and fuck them.

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"deepends if you want to fuck the other half. if you can trust them go ahead and fuck them."

Dear Deirdre's got nowt on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/03/21 16:35:03]

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By *rF36Man
over a year ago

West Lothian

Depends how good a friend they are, if it’s someone you see all the time then I’d probably say something but it’s going to end up so much hassle getting involved.

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By *ama bamaMan
over a year ago

dalkeith

"deepends if you want to fuck the other half. if you can trust them go ahead and fuck them.

Dear Deirdre's got nowt on you. "
it is a primeval urge mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"deepends if you want to fuck the other half. if you can trust them go ahead and fuck them.

Dear Deirdre's got nowt on you. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"deepends if you want to fuck the other half. if you can trust them go ahead and fuck them.

Dear Deirdre's got nowt on you. it is a primeval urge mate "

Sadly you’re probably more right than wrong but we are no longer primeval and supposedly “intelligent”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wheres the dilemma, in my opinion swinging is all about discretion. To tell someone you know who they are and your going to out them breaks that discretionary side in my opinion. If that person recognised you and told all your family and friends would you be happy about that. ?

Let people live their lives how they want. For all you know there both on here and you've just fucked up a perfectly good situation for them. Let it be mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take nothing to do with it OP. What other people get up to is no body else's business except their own. If it comes back on to either of them, then at least you can thank yourself that you didn't get involved x

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they've been on other sites and busted and still together? I wouldn't even get involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

If he's gonna be a weasel he should at least be a man an do it face to face. If he can't do it face to face then he shouldn't be doing it in the first place. It's like all the keyboard warriors on this and other platforms. There just cowardly weasels in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"deepends if you want to fuck the other half. if you can trust them go ahead and fuck them.

Dear Deirdre's got nowt on you. it is a primeval urge mate "

Viva la evolution!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

And doing it your way kola , who is he to decide who deserves who in someone else's relationship ???

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

"
Well that's your opinion and that's fine here's mine it's not him being the weasel and continuing to break his promises to his partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

Well that's your opinion and that's fine here's mine it's not him being the weasel and continuing to break his promises to his partner "

I agree , but how do we know anyone is breaking anyone's promise. I bet almost every couple on here started their married lives with forsaking all others . Does the op know for sure this couple ain't the same. ?

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

And doing it your way kola , who is he to decide who deserves who in someone else's relationship ???"
the partner gets to decide its OK to claim he I'm an honest person on a swingers site kinda blows it out their ass when they ain't honest with their partner who they made the promises too.

Who said it was my way?

I gave an option to inform the offended party without direct involvement. My way if it was my friend I'd tell him to his face even while the offender was present he hoo we all do what we believe is right

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

Well that's your opinion and that's fine here's mine it's not him being the weasel and continuing to break his promises to his partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

Well that's your opinion and that's fine here's mine it's not him being the weasel and continuing to break his promises to his partner

Wow , you should read the opening post , it doesn't actually say who the cheater is ? Your now assuming it's the guy.

And if you would tell the person face to face, why advice him to do it in a scummy way ?

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

Well that's your opinion and that's fine here's mine it's not him being the weasel and continuing to break his promises to his partner

Wow , you should read the opening post , it doesn't actually say who the cheater is ? Your now assuming it's the guy.

And if you would tell the person face to face, why advice him to do it in a scummy way ? "
lol you really do try to pick an argument reminds me of a user long gone

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By *enie90Woman
over a year ago

a bottle

It’s a really hard place for you to be in. Telling a friend could break your relationship with them and theirs with the partner (however unwell that relationship is). But living with the knowledge and keeping it to yourself is also excruciating - I hope you are doing okay! I’ve been in a similar situation with my best friend. I ended up telling her the truth because we have always talked about our worries in life and a partner who cheated and was untrustworthy was one of her main ones. It’s up to you in the end! I think what’s best to do depends on the circumstances: what is your friendship like, who can get hurt in the fallout (kids, you).

If you know the person, you could message them on here or by text and let them know about your feelings and leave it up to them to tell their partner about being on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't have to say anything a carefully placed anonoumous msg with check this profile on here sorry you won't like it but you deserve better than what your getting.

Well that's your opinion and that's fine here's mine it's not him being the weasel and continuing to break his promises to his partner

Wow , you should read the opening post , it doesn't actually say who the cheater is ? Your now assuming it's the guy.

And if you would tell the person face to face, why advice him to do it in a scummy way ? lol you really do try to pick an argument reminds me of a user long gone

So nothing about you jumping to conclusions about who was doing the cheating or giving someone advice on handling a situation that you yourself would not do that way . lol.

Oh then becoming a keyboard warrior because you can't or won't simply say you got it wrong. Coooool. Lol

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

That is a really difficult position to be in. Generally I would say stay out of it as you never really know what goes on behind closed doors etc and if you aren't willing to expose that you are on here to find them then that could get awkward.

But on the other hand, if you are really close to them and see them regularly you may find it getting uncomfortable fast.

The best thing to do is go with your gut as you have to live with the decision and possible fall out of it. Good luck OP

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

Next time you are looking for advice just message me direct it cuts out all the drivel

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By *implyJayGee OP Man
over a year ago

Garthamlock

"Next time you are looking for advice just message me direct it cuts out all the drivel

Yip will do. Shoulda known better really. Always one bad apple I suppose.

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By *cottishMrsWoman
over a year ago

Wishaw

We're all on Fab with the unspoken mutual agreement that what happens on Fab, stays on Fab. It's not your place to judge, get involved, or try to fix things. Just stay out of it, and let them sort things themselves. If he's a good friend, maybe message him on his own, but I personally wouldn't interfere xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"deepends if you want to fuck the other half. if you can trust them go ahead and fuck them.

Dear Deirdre's got nowt on you. it is a primeval urge mate

Viva la evolution!

And best comment goes to Wee Shoofty, you’re quick missus love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're all on Fab with the unspoken mutual agreement that what happens on Fab, stays on Fab. It's not your place to judge, get involved, or try to fix things. Just stay out of it, and let them sort things themselves. If he's a good friend, maybe message him on his own, but I personally wouldn't interfere xx"
Interesting that you think it's the female cheating , kola thinks it's the male cheating. The OP has never gave any info either way .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"deepends if you want to fuck the other half. if you can trust them go ahead and fuck them.

Dear Deirdre's got nowt on you. it is a primeval urge mate

Viva la evolution!

And best comment goes to Wee Shoofty, you’re quick missus love it

I'm not that quick these days maluv! Lol

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"We're all on Fab with the unspoken mutual agreement that what happens on Fab, stays on Fab. It's not your place to judge, get involved, or try to fix things. Just stay out of it, and let them sort things themselves. If he's a good friend, maybe message him on his own, but I personally wouldn't interfere xx Interesting that you think it's the female cheating , kola thinks it's the male cheating. The OP has never gave any info either way .

"
I notice you sidestepped the question throwing he/she at it. Makes no odds whether it's a he or a she it's cheating I'm sure you will be back with some other shitty remark but I won't entertain it like yrs gone by showing your true colours

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"We're all on Fab with the unspoken mutual agreement that what happens on Fab, stays on Fab. It's not your place to judge, get involved, or try to fix things. Just stay out of it, and let them sort things themselves. If he's a good friend, maybe message him on his own, but I personally wouldn't interfere xx"
out of curiosity where is this unspoken mutual agreement I certainly never signed up to it. I get your point though for those that entertain those folk it's agreed upon but not by all on site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're all on Fab with the unspoken mutual agreement that what happens on Fab, stays on Fab. It's not your place to judge, get involved, or try to fix things. Just stay out of it, and let them sort things themselves. If he's a good friend, maybe message him on his own, but I personally wouldn't interfere xx Interesting that you think it's the female cheating , kola thinks it's the male cheating. The OP has never gave any info either way .

I notice you sidestepped the question throwing he/she at it. Makes no odds whether it's a he or a she it's cheating I'm sure you will be back with some other shitty remark but I won't entertain it like yrs gone by showing your true colours"

I never seen a question to side step it. All I seen was us having a discussion that you then deemed it an argument . Then you decided it was easier to talk about something in your past and now it's my " shitty remarks" . Plz ask your question again as I genuinely never seen a question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oy vez

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a difficult one but really all the advice from others won't help the situation , you know the parties involved so therefore strangers advice however well meaning won't help , and usually nothings ever black and white and unfortunately in most cases the messenger always gets shot only you can determine whether u can deal with the consequences whether good or bad , but as for the anonymous message comment sent too the innocent party assuming that's what the deal is , well I just think that's cruel and deceitful , if u intend blowing up a relationship at least have the baws to stand by the action ( not a dig at the OP ) .

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By *dmirationMan
over a year ago

Bathgate

"Block.. these are not the droids your looking for.. memory wipe!!

Stay well clear...

this

Easy for us to say though.

Chances are that they'll be found out again if they've been found out before. "
A Cheater always get caught out eventually mine did and I know the guys involved! wink wink

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Block.. these are not the droids your looking for.. memory wipe!!

Stay well clear...

this

Easy for us to say though.

Chances are that they'll be found out again if they've been found out before. A Cheater always get caught out eventually mine did and I know the guys involved! wink wink "

Did you set up an undercover operation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Block.. these are not the droids your looking for.. memory wipe!!

Stay well clear...

this

Easy for us to say though.

Chances are that they'll be found out again if they've been found out before. A Cheater always get caught out eventually mine did and I know the guys involved! wink wink

Did you set up an undercover operation?"

It was the undercover operations that was the problem lol

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By *edGlasgowMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

It comes down to your situation. Does your mate know that you play? If so, there's no reason not to tell them. If you see yourself as a true mate, you'd do what's right by them.

If, however, you'd rather keep this aspect of your private life private then you can't tell them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m gonna give my opinion and it probably goes against what most of the messages have said.

Considering there has been a history of cheating, I would be inclined to say to your friend. I think people are misaligning discretion with dishonesty. People who request discretion are different to people who are being dishonest, many on here won’t meet a cheater and rightly so.

So personally I would tell my friend, regardless of what impact it had on me because I would know within myself that I’ve not been made to hold something from them that I know would hurt them.

As for the other person, fuck what they think. They’re cheaters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have spotted a good friends partner on here. Has already been busted for cheating on other sites. It is beyond all reasonable doubt, and now I am totally caught between the rock and the hard place. Have kept it to myself but it’s eating at me.

Thoughts? "

Keep out of it

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Block.. these are not the droids your looking for.. memory wipe!!

Stay well clear...

this

Easy for us to say though.

Chances are that they'll be found out again if they've been found out before. A Cheater always get caught out eventually mine did and I know the guys involved! wink wink

Did you set up an undercover operation?

It was the undercover operations that was the problem lol

Pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

As others have said stay well clear of it.

I just wanted to point out that for those who commented on who was cheating, they assumed it was a male/female couple. It could’ve been a same sex couple.

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