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a few wee jokes

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By *eather OP   Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

A guy burnt his willie sunbathing he went to the doctor who told him to dip it in saucer of cold milk .He went home and did it his girl friend walked in and said; I allways wondered how they reloaded those things

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By *eather OP   Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

a man walked out on his wife she screamed at him i hope u die long slow lingering painful death u scum bag.He turned round and said so u want me to stay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I the only person that watched two girls one cup and thought the girl shitting in the cup had a great aim?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

500 years ago when men went to war it was common for them to force their wives to wear chastity belts while they were away. Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could remove these chastity belts. This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most common name in the phonebook.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just had a text from my wife; it said, "Don't wait up dear, I'm out dogging and I've just had a threesome."

Lucky bitch! I've been going greyhound racing for years and I've never hit a tricast. Must be beginner's luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little boy in bath was carefully examining his willy, and says to his mum, "Mum is this my brains?"

Mum replies, "Not yet".

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By *ompip3Couple
over a year ago

Paisley

The wife is pissed off with me again....

Last night while she was fast asleep i gently swapped her Tampax for a party popper, leaving the string hanging out just enough for her to pull.

Honestly no fucking sense of humour what so ever!!

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By *rgiesformeMan
over a year ago

North Glasgow

A Woman in court charged with stealing a tin of peaches, the judge asks "how many peaches were in the tin" to which she replies "there were four"

He tells her that she will serve one month for each peach. As she is being led away her husband shouts from the public gallery........"AND SHE STOLE A FUCKIN TIN OF PEAS"

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By *issyForDommeTV/TS
over a year ago

glasgow

'No,' she sighed, gazing sadly

at the large stuffed crust

Hawaiian with extra cheese, 'I

said I'm really turned on by

orders from dominants!'

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

A man went to his doctor and said, "I want to be castrated."

"What?" said the doctor, "surely you don't want that."

"Yes," said the man, "that's what I want; I insist."

So, the doctor told him to check into the hospital. When he did he was stripped, laid on a cart, wheeled into the operating room, anaesthetized, and CHWOP! off they came. The next day, he woke up in a double room and, wanting to be socialable, asked the man in the next bed what he was in for.

"Oh, I was circumsized," the man said.

"Son of a bitch! That's the word I was looking for!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mad mary was wizzin rnd mental hospital ,,she was first stopped by carl papers plz ,,she sped off ..

got stopped by looney leon insurance plz,,she sped off again,,,,only 2 be stopped by donkey robby naked with eight inch hard on ,oh no no no ,she cried not the breathealyser again ,,

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