FabSwingers.com forum: Sending the 1st message?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mainly for the females of the forum this 1 but would like a guys take on this too obviously.

Ladies...how many of you actually make the 1st move on here be it a message or a wink?

Personally i very rarely do I but have been known to send a message about a status or a forum post randomly and that may lead into something.

Think it may be the fear of rejection or who knows which is silly as that's hypocritical of me.

Fellas...do you prefare a chick making the 1st move or would you rather do it?

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I have zero issue initiating contact . Must admit only been rare occasions , when a particular profile catches my eye .

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I do. Life is too short to sit on the fence.

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By *rinthiaMan
over a year ago

dundee

ive been on here for a while now and ive never had a female or couple contact me first.

i always have to make the first move,

but thats ok

its just getting harder to get any replies, now im over 50 i recon 98% of people i contact dont even reply.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

If I am actively looking & someone catches my eye then I have no qualms about sending a first message. Doesn't happen often though!I will say that the majority of my meets have been the result of me messaging as opposed to from messages I've received though.

I have also occasionally messaged someone in response to a forum post & that can lead to some interesting chat.

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

To be honest, it happens so rarely, I tend to get rather paranoid when I receive a first message from a lady-person - especially unverified ones. Most fake profiles are quite easy to distinguish from the genuine ones, but every now and again, a sneaky one attempts to wriggle through the net.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

If a profile interests me enough then yes il message them no problem

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah that's what I think if a chick messages 1st would guys think it's a fake guy?

I think I'm overthinking things

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By *ljamMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've been contacted first by woman a handful of times - and they've been among the very best people on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah that's what I think if a chick messages 1st would guys think it's a fake guy?

I think I'm overthinking things

No I would not initially think it's a fake though I have never received a female message but would love to get some and see if I could meet liked minded for mutual pleasurable activities. Suppose making the first move into the unknown is difficult.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I appreciate this isn't the case for everyone & there are exceptions, but in my experience many guys on here go for a scatter gun approach, send out messages to every female within their area (and often some who aren't) & just see who replies. I think women tend to have a more targeted approach & only message people who actually match what they are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I appreciate this isn't the case for everyone & there are exceptions, but in my experience many guys on here go for a scatter gun approach, send out messages to every female within their area (and often some who aren't) & just see who replies. I think women tend to have a more targeted approach & only message people who actually match what they are looking for. "
totally agree with this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah that's what I think if a chick messages 1st would guys think it's a fake guy?

I think I'm overthinking things

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By *rinthiaMan
over a year ago

dundee

so im thinking i need to make my profile more interesting?

would i be right guys ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah that's what I think if a chick messages 1st would guys think it's a fake guy?

I think I'm overthinking things

If they say no just take rejection on the chin and move on. Just a hazard of trying to find a genuine match with like minded people.yes the scatter gun approach by us guys towards lots of females in the hope of a genuine reply does not really work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so im thinking i need to make my profile more interesting?

would i be right guys ?"

Yes, it's really a marketing exercise but how to develop a strategy to get from current situation to what you want to achieve is key and difficult to work out especially when the M to F ratio is very high here.

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

To the ones who message first. Were the guys all interested in meeting.

Did any say nope not for me or not bother replying.

If you met do you think it was because they genuinely were into you or could it be that whoever messaged they would have met due to the lack of responses so many complain about.

I'm genuinely interested in this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To the ones who message first. Were the guys all interested in meeting.

Did any say nope not for me or not bother replying.

If you met do you think it was because they genuinely were into you or could it be that whoever messaged they would have met due to the lack of responses so many complain about.

I'm genuinely interested in this"
great question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy I'd welcome ladies sending the first message. I can understand that they might be a little apprehensive. I guess the sheer number of messages ladies and couples receive may put them off as well but maybe all the more reason to reach out to guys who catch their eye. Some guys may be equally cautious and not want to be just another of so many messages received. Makes you wonder how many of us are admiring each other from afar but never getting in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only message if I'm genuinely intrested in chatting to the lady and think we may be looking for the same thing if I dont get a reply I take it on the chin ..I even find it very polite when you get a massage back saying your not for them ect.

I've never recieved the first message from a female yet ...but had to block a lot of males till I found the filters...

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By *ookingforfabfunMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

There's definitely a missing link on fab. Lots of people looking but not much interaction. You hear it time and again that arranging a meet is so difficult and very rarely happens (obviously pre-covid). Though messaging is a big leap of faith on a site that has so many fake profiles.

It's always good to feel wanted but nobody likes rejection

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

"To the ones who message first. Were the guys all interested in meeting.

Did any say nope not for me or not bother replying.

If you met do you think it was because they genuinely were into you or could it be that whoever messaged they would have met due to the lack of responses so many complain about.

I'm genuinely interested in this"

There have been a few who were clearly just here for the chat and have absolutely no intention of meeting whatsoever. Some who were like eager puppies and it was pretty obvious they were just desperate to meet anyone for sex & not actually interested in getting to know me or have a social first, those didn't last long! Several resulted in good conversations, a few led to social meets & some of those then resulted in more.

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By *ookingforfabfunMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"To the ones who message first. Were the guys all interested in meeting.

Did any say nope not for me or not bother replying.

If you met do you think it was because they genuinely were into you or could it be that whoever messaged they would have met due to the lack of responses so many complain about.

I'm genuinely interested in this

Everyone seems to be here for a different reason. Most would like you think they're the norm in terms of swinging and having liberated fun. Some just want their ego stroked and a lot of guys just want something to masturbate to. I guess if there's enough info in the profile, you have a common objective and you like what you see then why not message male, female or couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personal experience when I was actively looking and browsing profiles, I sent quite a few first messages and most would reply and some went read deleted so clearly I wasn’t their type, of the ones who messaged a reply all swapped numbers and chatted and of those most eventually did the ghosting when they quickly realise when I say I don’t send rude pics I actually mean it, if you wanna see me make you can wait till we’re undressing each other and not before. The final few who actually did meet again about half of those zero sexual chemistry or chemistry at all, and the rest well

I’d say maybe 1in30 actually get to the home run so I can definitely see why men get frustrated. I imagine though if I was a bit more forward with pics the odds might be better but I’m not sacrificing my own self respect just for a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's led to some rather interesting adventures on the few occasions I've done it

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

No modus operandi here. If I’ve got something to say I will. Can’t say I’ve ever met anyone form messages alone. Usually a social or a club meeting is best.

No problem with a woman initiating contact.

Go on. Fill my inbox. You know you want to.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"To the ones who message first. Were the guys all interested in meeting.

Did any say nope not for me or not bother replying.

If you met do you think it was because they genuinely were into you or could it be that whoever messaged they would have met due to the lack of responses so many complain about.

I'm genuinely interested in this"

I send messages to people who have profiles that interest me and i want to find out more about them not because i want to shag them stupid. Chances are that after chat and face pics nothing else gets planned due to not having a connection but several have resulted in socials and sometimes more. I find men always reply although if they chose not to it would not be a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always Mr on our profile, only cause he's a big gob shite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to send a wink and if it’s reciprocated then I message.

I’m not one for sitting back and waiting for that cut and paste message that some of the guys on here send.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mainly for the females of the forum this 1 but would like a guys take on this too obviously.

Ladies...how many of you actually make the 1st move on here be it a message or a wink?

Personally i very rarely do I but have been known to send a message about a status or a forum post randomly and that may lead into something.

Think it may be the fear of rejection or who knows which is silly as that's hypocritical of me.

Fellas...do you prefare a chick making the 1st move or would you rather do it?"

Welcome to message me anytime you like!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best first message to receive

If I shag , would you prefer the front or behind ,

Sorry where are my manners

If I shag, would you prefer the front or behind please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have made the first move only a few times mind you. But I tend to send a wink before I actually message and then see how it goes from there. X

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By *irebird567Woman
over a year ago

near by

I find I don't really need to, I struggle keeping up wi the msgs I get, and remembering which conversation I'm answering to lol really need to become a site supporter lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never send winks, I think Mr did when we first joined.

If someone piques my interest I'll message. The worst thing that can happen is they don't find you attractive and the world will still keep turning. Too long in the tooth to let shit like that bother me now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been contacted first at any time on here ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough I decided for the first time in my 10+ years on n off here to initiate contact with some people.

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single male id prefer for a female to make first contact im new here but so far the majority of my mails dont get read. So would be more inclined to find someone that was intersted in my profile by looking it out ans messaging. I dont think the majority seek out male profiles due to being so many mails sent etc. Winks n mails would do it for me to start off from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fellas...do you prefare a chick making the 1st move or would you rather do it?"

I doubt there is one guy on here if he answers honestly would say he would rather make the first move where initial contact is concerned on a site like Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not bothered who makes the first move really, however I do feel a bit of pressure as a guy to make the first move. Not just here but on dating sites too. I joined bumble because it makes the females message first and I think I've honestly had one message from the multiple matches I've had. Pain in the arse haha. It is nice to see a female make the first move though, shows confidence. But as I said I don't mind who makes that first move.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Great comments folk cheers I think I may start of slow with a few winks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great comments folk cheers I think I may start of slow with a few winks

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

"Great comments folk cheers I think I may start of slow with a few winks

Wink me and I will reply

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By *lassybutseeknaughtinessCouple
over a year ago

Coatbridge

"Mainly for the females of the forum this 1 but would like a guys take on this too obviously.

Ladies...how many of you actually make the 1st move on here be it a message or a wink?

Personally i very rarely do I but have been known to send a message about a status or a forum post randomly and that may lead into something.

Think it may be the fear of rejection or who knows which is silly as that's hypocritical of me.

Fellas...do you prefare a chick making the 1st move or would you rather do it?"

I reckon if a single female messaged us first id ch0ke on my co co pops!! Hens teeth comes to mind but again perhaps our profile isn't as interesting as others, we have went down the honest and straight to the point route on fab. Good luck and hope you find what your looking for as we see no reason for you to get rejected that's for sure x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Great comments folk cheers I think I may start of slow with a few winks

Wink me and I will reply

"
you said wink right?

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

"Great comments folk cheers I think I may start of slow with a few winks

Wink me and I will reply

you said wink right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Interesting topic.

I've received plenty winks and first messages from women over the years, but nothing beyond that from majority of them.

It takes two to tango on a site like this and if the woman makes no effort, or lacks basic communication skills, i anticipate they'll be the same in person/bed...

Then again, Maybe I just have higher expectations than the average "every holes a goal" guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely send the first message as I always think no one will be interested in me

If I see a funny status or get a wink and the profile interests me then I put on my big girl pants and say hello to see what happens

I can’t be arsed trawling through profiles randomly - really lazy lol xx

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