FabSwingers.com forum: Chuck Norris Facts

By *owboy Bebop OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone."

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By *ering SeaMan
over a year ago

Penicuik

Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris’s chin is ANOTHER Chuck Norris

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 10/06/20 11:15:11]

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t going up. He is pushing the earth down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Chuck Norris sneazes

The moon moves further away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A masked man once stabbed Chuck Norris in the alley behind a children's hospital. The knife bled to death.”

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By *quirt_kingMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

Chuck norris doesnt eat a bowl of cereal, he eats a cereal of bowl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When chuck norriss was born. He smacked his maws arse on the way out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When chuck Norris first left home at 11 years old. He turned to his dad and said. "You're the man of the house now"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra. After 3 days of agonising pain the cobra eventually died.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris built the hospital he was born in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Covid 19 is trying to find a vaccine for the Chuck Norris

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By *estless nativeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

When Chuck Norris left home, he told his father he was the man of the now.

When Chuck Norris slices onions, the onions cry.

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

Inverness

Chuck Norris actually died in 1982 but God is too scared to tell him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When chuck norris gave a horse an uppercut, he invented giraffes..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris hit bullseye 11 out of 10 targets... with only 9 bullets!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can make coffee with tea bags

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When chuck norris explores the universe, hes just checking for lumps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris made a happy meal cry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can pick oranges from an apple tree. And use them to make lemonade.

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By *oldswarriorMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

This childish part of confirms this is the best thread ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This childish part of confirms this is the best thread ever

Was thinking the same....can't think of any to top the suggestions so far

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Christmas is anytime Chuck Norris comes when he wants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can go into mcdonalds.. and buy a whopper meal..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris uses a Cello for a Violin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris never takes a shit he just farts intensely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Chuck Norris gets heartburn he drinks napalm to cool it downtown

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By *ardonNWMan
over a year ago

South Lanarkshire

Chuck Norris's tears are known to cure all types of cancer, unfortunately not a single tear has been shed in his lifetime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said to the wife “you know chuck Norris?”

She said “no, who is he?”

I said “don’t worry about it honey....he knows YOU”

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By *oldswarriorMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

FFS I've still not got any

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By *ering SeaMan
over a year ago

Penicuik

"FFS I've still not got any

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Coronavirus tested positive for chuck Norris

Now the virus has to be quarantined

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris doesnt do push ups. He pushes the earth down..

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By *uggydomMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / Aberdeenshire

Chuck Norris's calendar goes from march 31 to April 2nd, because nobody fools Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have £50, and chuck norris has £50, then chuck norris has £100.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are like dogs to Chuck Norris.

A year in his life equals 7 years for us.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Chuck Norris doesn't need shades to protect him from the sun the sun needs protection from him .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris isnt scared of the dark. The dark is scared of chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the boogie man goes to bed at night, he checks under his bed for chuck norris.

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By *an from UncleMan
over a year ago

ml1

"This childish part of confirms this is the best thread ever

Was thinking the same....can't think of any to top the suggestions so far

"
this is the best thread iv ever read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you've ran out of loo roll in a public loo , who do you call?? Chuck Norris ... Or just wipe it with your hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When chuck norris heard his daughter lost her virginity.. chuck went and got it back..

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By *he FiendMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Chuck Norris is a right wing bigot who believes in gay conversion therapy, is anti gay marriage and is a general hard line Republican fuckhead....Am I doing this right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The lights in chuck norris's house are always on.. because the dark is afraid of chuck norris..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like my women the same way Chuck Norris beats up thugs... 5 at a time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in the table of elements...

The only element he believes in is the element of surprise ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can punch a cyclops between the eye..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris once uppercuted a horse. This is how giraffes were made

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/06/20 20:36:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/06/20 20:51:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris rubs a magic lamp to give the Genie 3 wishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris catches flies with tweezers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass.... at night.

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By *ango2getherMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Chuck Norris can look you in the eye and say Auchtermuchty without blinding you with spittle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can kick a snake between the legs..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only person to get Trump out of the White House is Chuck Norris but nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can build a snowman with rain..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus could walk on the water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

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By *estlo-mMan
over a year ago

west lothian

Chuck Norris doesn't get older on his birthday, he simply levels up.

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

[Removed by poster at 18/06/20 11:31:32]

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

Chuck Norris is so good in bed, not only does he cum second, he IS the Second Coming

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By *ering SeaMan
over a year ago

Penicuik

Chuck Norris once walked his dog in Boston and won the marathon

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By *cotyguyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Boris once met Chuck Morris. Hence the hair

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By *r huskyMan
over a year ago

cockenzie

How does Chuck Norris screw in a light bulb

He doesn't he holds it up and the

World revolves around him

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By *cottishornMan
over a year ago

wee village

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck Norris counted to infinitely.....TWICE

Chuck Norris had sex once on a truck. Some of the seamen dripped into the engine block.....and kids thatis how transformers were born

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky

Chuck Norris doesn't own a watch,he decides what time it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris makes memory foam forget.

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By *alkdirty2meCouple
over a year ago

20 miles south of Edinburgh

Chuck Norris can make m&ms melt in his hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris farted = Coronavirus

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By *rfredzzzMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 30/07/20 09:09:34]

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By *rfredzzzMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

The moon has craters because as a child, Chuck Norris would throw pebbles at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently Chuck Norris has counted from 0 to infinity twice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can make snow Angels.. in the concrete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris dosent have sex he just stares and tells you your fucked...

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By *rsheelzCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Chuck Norris never dials a wrong number, you answered the wrong phone

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By *rsheelzCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Chuck Norris found all the Pokémon go using a dial up connection

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Chuck Norris doesn't read books ,he just stares at them until he gets the information he wants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/08/20 18:49:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when chuck norris adds milk to rice krispies the shut the fuck up

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

When there's a zombie apocalypse, the zombies have to decide what weapon to use against Chuck Norris

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By *bolton88Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Chuck Norris is Victoria's secret

Chuck Norris has a 'to do' list, it's called the Guinness world records

Chuck Norris can speak fluent Japanese in Russian

Bruce Lee passed in 1973 after Chuck finally was allowed to watch the way of the Dragon and found out the editors made it look like Bruce won the fight

"Yeah, yeah, Chuck can touch it" - MC Hammer

Social distancing with Chuck Norris is not cause of Covid, it's cause your in Roundhouse range.

Chuck Norris and Superman had an argument and the loser had to wear pajamas for life

The Clinton's have Chuck on speed dial for when they need a suicide.

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By *rsheelzCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Chuck Norris beat a man to death with an air guitar

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By *unseekers87Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow ish

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

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By *allerthanaverage79Man
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Chuck Norris new what willis was talking about!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Superman has Chuck Norris pyjamas

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By *ettercallsaul118Man
over a year ago

Funtown

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris has a bear skin rug, the bears not dead, it's just too scared to move.

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By *haifuarMan
over a year ago

Dumbarton

Chuck Norris's dick pics made me pregnant.

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