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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be "Perhaps think of why first ! women can be quite hormonal depending on thier age if shes over 50 it could be menopausal so go tackfully with her | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be "Tell us exactly what she said to you and we will tell you honestly if she was trying to say sex wasn't great with you. 
Alternatively
Saying something like your a snide ride now usually gets the message across loud and clear. | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be
Tell us exactly what she said to you and we will tell you honestly if she was trying to say sex wasn't great with you.
Alternatively
Saying something like your a snide ride now usually gets the message across loud and clear. "Ya silver tongued devil | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be "you dont! You show them the moves your used to...its a 2 way thing so if your not happy fix it.if they still lay there like a sack of tatties try asking if anything is on their mind?maybe they have gone off you and are letting you come to that conclusion yourself or try the approach what you would like to hear if someone thought about telling you that. Not a time for bull in a China shop. | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be you dont! You show them the moves your used to...its a 2 way thing so if your not happy fix it.if they still lay there like a sack of tatties try asking if anything is on their mind?maybe they have gone off you and are letting you come to that conclusion yourself or try the approach what you would like to hear if someone thought about telling you that.
Not a time for bull in a China shop."
What else has changed with her? Her weight, appearance? Stresses at work....there could be a million and one things that have impacted her in the bedroom. Are you still pressing the buttons?
Ask tactfully and in a caring way and you should get honest answers. | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP "How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex? | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?"I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem. | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem."It doesn't really sound like a compliment though | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be "I think your choice of phrase " not upto standard" might be the key ...as she may have picked up that vibe from you that you dont think sex is the way it used to be ...that will just push her away even more ..sex is like everything else in life it can be good ,bad ,or indifferent ..maybe the 2 of you are just wanting different things sexually | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though "well mybe you can suggest something better. | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be "Well your going to have to sit them down and talk to them, but personally i would nt lead with your post, Think you have to approach it slowly and carefully, and also be prepared for them to tell you that they feel the same way Sex like most things in life, needs changed, tweeked, upgraded even. Hope it works out for you mate, and you might want to let us know how you got on, Some of us in here love a bit of gossip | |||
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"Post it on a forum that can be seen publically and send her a link." | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though well mybe you can suggest something better. "I'll leave that to the experts | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though well mybe you can suggest something better.
I'll leave that to the experts "But if your not an expert yourself how can you make judgements on other posters suggestions. ?  | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though well mybe you can suggest something better.
I'll leave that to the experts
But if your not an expert yourself how can you make judgements on other posters suggestions. ? "Nobody needs to be an expert to offer an opinion | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though well mybe you can suggest something better.
I'll leave that to the experts
But if your not an expert yourself how can you make judgements on other posters suggestions. ?
Nobody needs to be an expert to offer an opinion "Well by that statement , oldies question stands, maybe you could offer a better opinion than what's been offered so far. It's so easy to critique others advice but a bit more challenging to offer your own opinion on a subject eh ?? | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though well mybe you can suggest something better.
I'll leave that to the experts
But if your not an expert yourself how can you make judgements on other posters suggestions. ?
Nobody needs to be an expert to offer an opinion
Well by that statement , oldies question stands, maybe you could offer a better opinion than what's been offered so far. It's so easy to critique others advice but a bit more challenging to offer your own opinion on a subject eh ??"I can't offer advice on a relationship I know nothing about | |||
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" I can't offer advice on a relationship I know nothing about " Isn’t that a duty of forumites here to form unfounded opinions on people’s relationships and sexual or otherwise.  | |||
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" I can't offer advice on a relationship I know nothing about Isn’t that a duty of forumites here to form unfounded opinions on people’s relationships and sexual or otherwise. "I'll form an opinion based on the evidence I see...doesn't mean I'll offer advice though | |||
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" I can't offer advice on a relationship I know nothing about Isn’t that a duty of forumites here to form unfounded opinions on people’s relationships and sexual or otherwise.
I'll form an opinion based on the evidence I see...doesn't mean I'll offer advice though "True but you’ll think it and as a responsible shit poster we should post those thoughts | |||
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" I can't offer advice on a relationship I know nothing about Isn’t that a duty of forumites here to form unfounded opinions on people’s relationships and sexual or otherwise.
I'll form an opinion based on the evidence I see...doesn't mean I'll offer advice though
True but you’ll think it and as a responsible shit poster we should post those thoughts "I'm gonna stick to what I know  | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be "What's the standard ? | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be
What's the standard ? "mmmmm Could be another interesting idea for a new thread | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though well mybe you can suggest something better.
I'll leave that to the experts
But if your not an expert yourself how can you make judgements on other posters suggestions. ?
Nobody needs to be an expert to offer an opinion
Well by that statement , oldies question stands, maybe you could offer a better opinion than what's been offered so far. It's so easy to critique others advice but a bit more challenging to offer your own opinion on a subject eh ??
I can't offer advice on a relationship I know nothing about "Yawwwwwwns | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though "Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.  | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch. "Unless though , she always looks like a burst couch, and throwing on some sexy undies is like spray painting a car but forgetting to treat and remove all the rusty bits first. It's still an old banger under the paint. | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch. "Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have? | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.
Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have?"That's an unfair question, you said earlier sexy underwear has nothing to do with your performance in bed. | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be you dont! You show them the moves your used to...its a 2 way thing so if your not happy fix it.if they still lay there like a sack of tatties try asking if anything is on their mind?maybe they have gone off you and are letting you come to that conclusion yourself or try the approach what you would like to hear if someone thought about telling you that.
Not a time for bull in a China shop."completely disagree with this ... in a new relationship recently i spent 6 months trying to subtly “show the moves im used to” to improve the sex while sparing their feelings ... eventually i gave up and moved on in hindsight i probably should have had the upfront conversation the op is looking for advice on ... all the more so since he appears to be in a pre existing relationship | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.
Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have?
That's an unfair question, you said earlier sexy underwear has nothing to do with your performance in bed. "I'm still saying that | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.
Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have?
That's an unfair question, you said earlier sexy underwear has nothing to do with your performance in bed.
I'm still saying that"Well you need to rephrase your question to Mrs Doggy then because the scene you set would never happen according to you. Your saying their sex life is going downhill and Mr Doggy says wear fancy underwear, you can't expect an answer to something that in your eyes is irrelevant. | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.
Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have?"There was a spell after the birth of our youngest when we weren't having a great deal of sex actually and he did suggest various things, including new lingerie. I took it to mean that he still fancied me and was trying to think of ways to make things a wee bit different and spice up the bedroom again. Although I didn't jump at the suggestion it didn't take offence either. What's wrong with communicating and suggesting different things? Surely as adults you should be able to do this without someone taking the huff? | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.
Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have?
That's an unfair question, you said earlier sexy underwear has nothing to do with your performance in bed.
I'm still saying that
Well you need to rephrase your question to Mrs Doggy then because the scene you set would never happen according to you. Your saying their sex life is going downhill and Mr Doggy says wear fancy underwear, you can't expect an answer to something that in your eyes is irrelevant. "Well she got an answer anyway | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.
Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have?
That's an unfair question, you said earlier sexy underwear has nothing to do with your performance in bed.
I'm still saying that
Well you need to rephrase your question to Mrs Doggy then because the scene you set would never happen according to you. Your saying their sex life is going downhill and Mr Doggy says wear fancy underwear, you can't expect an answer to something that in your eyes is irrelevant. "My question is fine as it is | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.
Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have?
There was a spell after the birth of our youngest when we weren't having a great deal of sex actually and he did suggest various things, including new lingerie. I took it to mean that he still fancied me and was trying to think of ways to make things a wee bit different and spice up the bedroom again. Although I didn't jump at the suggestion it didn't take offence either. What's wrong with communicating and suggesting different things? Surely as adults you should be able to do this without someone taking the huff?
"There's nothing wrong with communicating and suggesting different things. I'd probably take it differently and wonder what active part he was gonna play in trying to improve things | |||
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"Maybe try approaching it from the other end (no pun intended) of the spectrum. Not saying something’s wrong but saying what you’d like to try? A simple example is maybe saying how great she’d look in nice (note nice) underwear. I don’t know the extent of your relationship or what you’ve tried but you get my drift I’m sure. The key thing is to make it fun and sensual. Good luck OP
How would her wearing nice underwear improve sex?I think they mean pay her compliments.could have low self esteem.
It doesn't really sound like a compliment though
Try some reverse psychology then. Tell her she'd look like a burst couch.
Picture the scene, your sex life with mr doggy is going downhill so he suggests you stick on some fancy underwear. Would you take that as a compliment or would you think it means he doesn't like how you already look in the underwear you have?
There was a spell after the birth of our youngest when we weren't having a great deal of sex actually and he did suggest various things, including new lingerie. I took it to mean that he still fancied me and was trying to think of ways to make things a wee bit different and spice up the bedroom again. Although I didn't jump at the suggestion it didn't take offence either. What's wrong with communicating and suggesting different things? Surely as adults you should be able to do this without someone taking the huff?
There's nothing wrong with communicating and suggesting different things. I'd probably take it differently and wonder what active part he was gonna play in trying to improve things"He doesn't look good in suspenders and I recall you telling me I should stick to them, so for once I'll take your advice. | |||
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" He doesn't look good in suspenders and I recall you telling me I should stick to them, so for once I'll take your advice. "Did I? It'll annoy me now that I can't remember that or the context | |||
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" He doesn't look good in suspenders and I recall you telling me I should stick to them, so for once I'll take your advice.
Did I? It'll annoy me now that I can't remember that or the context "I know. Shame I deleted the message. | |||
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"Gotta love folk that slate others comments but never actually answer the question. "Or twist the meaning out of all context, I don’t mean on this post of course, good grief noooooo | |||
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"Gotta love folk that slate others comments but never actually answer the question. "You've got to be an expert for that....no get the memo? | |||
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"Approach it with her. Ask yourself why it's changed and ask her how she's feeling about it. Different things turn me on at different times. My mood changes often. "Agreed . Dont ever say shes a burst couch or an old banger just because she may not be at her best . | |||
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"Gotta love folk that slate others comments but never actually answer the question.
You've got to be an expert for that....no get the memo?"Oh come on , eeeeeeeveryone knows you don't need to be an expert to have an opinion. You do need to be an expert to slate others opinions though. I got the memo for that. Lol | |||
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"Approach it with her. Ask yourself why it's changed and ask her how she's feeling about it. Different things turn me on at different times. My mood changes often.
Agreed
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Dont ever say shes a burst couch or an old banger just because she may not be at her best ."So lie to her  | |||
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"Gotta love folk that slate others comments but never actually answer the question.
You've got to be an expert for that....no get the memo?"there was a memo? Christ I must have been away putting my new sexy underwear in the drawer | |||
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"Gotta love folk that slate others comments but never actually answer the question.
You've got to be an expert for that....no get the memo?
Oh come on , eeeeeeeveryone knows you don't need to be an expert to have an opinion. You do need to be an expert to slate others opinions though. I got the memo for that. Lol"I disagreed with advice offered as I see it from a different perspective. That's not slating others opinions | |||
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"Gotta love folk that slate others comments but never actually answer the question.
You've got to be an expert for that....no get the memo?
Oh come on , eeeeeeeveryone knows you don't need to be an expert to have an opinion. You do need to be an expert to slate others opinions though. I got the memo for that. Lol
I disagreed with advice offered as I see it from a different perspective. That's not slating others opinions "Your taking that statement a bit personal, I didn't see anyone say they were talking about any comments you made. ??? | |||
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"You do need to be an expert to slate others opinions though. I got the memo for that. Lol" Your learning | |||
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"Who said it was a female partner he was talking about "True. He could be fab straight. | |||
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"Who said it was a female partner he was talking about
True. He could be fab straight. "Exactly  | |||
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"Personaly I'd just discuss it with the other person, not post it on a public forum, and suggest different sexy scenarios. Or just catch her by surprise for a romantic weekend away. Or just sign up to an adult dating site and get it elsewhere. Or maybe she just doesn't fancy it with you anymore, quite common when people are together long term. She might want to try fab and get some elsewhere x" Apologies if I'm repeating others, didn't read all the comments. I will get to that now!!! Spur of the moment reaction x | |||
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"People approach me about this all the time. I don’t know what their problem is. I give ‘em all my moves. Both of them" Definitely nothing wrong with your moves. | |||
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"I'm feeling that something between us has changed, it feels like you don't find me attractive anymore and sex is a chore to you, we don't have as much fun any more and it's making me feel self conscious and worried that our relationship isn't working anymore, I don't feel wanted and think we need to sit down and have a serious talk about how we've gotten to this stage They could then have a great open honest Conversation with you and things might geet back on track, they may tell you they feel that you're pulling away from them(maybe being on a swingers site you're not as attentive as you once were and they feel like a commodity) maybe they might tell you there's something upsetting or bothering them and you can work through it or they might just lie and fudge it over But if you don't at least start the conversation you'll never know and it will only get worse " Great advice. | |||
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"I'm feeling that something between us has changed, it feels like you don't find me attractive anymore and sex is a chore to you, we don't have as much fun any more and it's making me feel self conscious and worried that our relationship isn't working anymore, I don't feel wanted and think we need to sit down and have a serious talk about how we've gotten to this stage They could then have a great open honest Conversation with you and things might geet back on track, they may tell you they feel that you're pulling away from them(maybe being on a swingers site you're not as attentive as you once were and they feel like a commodity) maybe they might tell you there's something upsetting or bothering them and you can work through it or they might just lie and fudge it over But if you don't at least start the conversation you'll never know and it will only get worse " best sensible advice i have read and noted cheers | |||
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"How do you approach the subject that sex from another person is not upto the standard it used to be "Communication Communication Communication Using tact | |||
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