FabSwingers.com forum: Friend zoned!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all,

I've been chatting well with a lady, we had a social and were about to have our first proper meet when lockdown started. Still chatting every day or so, but I'm getting the feeling that I'm going to be friend-zoned before the lockdown ends.

Anyone else experienced this?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When lockdown ends there will probably still be some kind of social distancing. Perhaps the lady is thinking seriously about meeting at all for the foreseeable, many feel this way. The virus will still be a danger for some time yet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When lockdown ends there will probably still be some kind of social distancing. Perhaps the lady is thinking seriously about meeting at all for the foreseeable, many feel this way. The virus will still be a danger for some time yet. "

I totally get that. It's going to be a long time before social distancing is ended and normal play can resume.

It's just the direction that the conversation has moved into that tells me otherwise. As it stood, neither one of us was looking for anything other than FB's.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe its just worth taking the bull by the horns and asking her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who has done this in the past. for me personally i find the longer i speak to someone the less likely I'm gonna meet them.

It's just the way things can go maybe during a conversation youv said something that's made her change her mind.as someone said earlier can only ask what the chances are you still think your gonna take things further.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe its just worth taking the bull by the horns and asking her

That's kind off what i was thinking, at some point over the next week or so.

Was more wondering if it was possibly becoming a more common occurance due to the current restrictions in the natural progression of our ways.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you met before and both got on well and enjoyed each other's company, don't push for more. Focussing on the end goal comes across as thirsty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you met before and both got on well and enjoyed each other's company, don't push for more. Focussing on the end goal comes across as thirsty "

Not pushing for more, we are both key workers in health and social care so have an understanding of the situation, and know that no physical meet is going to happen soon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you met before and both got on well and enjoyed each other's company, don't push for more. Focussing on the end goal comes across as thirsty

Not pushing for more, we are both key workers in health and social care so have an understanding of the situation, and know that no physical meet is going to happen soon.

Why are your jobs in anyway relevant to your situation?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverminxWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Think a lot of people are having second thoughts about the swinging/hookup scene. Don’t take it personally, especially if you were only looking for FBs. I know a lot of people who have had a rethink about FBs and are now wanting a bit more..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you met before and both got on well and enjoyed each other's company, don't push for more. Focussing on the end goal comes across as thirsty

Not pushing for more, we are both key workers in health and social care so have an understanding of the situation, and know that no physical meet is going to happen soon.

Why are your jobs in anyway relevant to your situation?"

Just in that we are both very aware that no physical meets can happen any time soon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Think a lot of people are having second thoughts about the swinging/hookup scene. Don’t take it personally, especially if you were only looking for FBs. I know a lot of people who have had a rethink about FBs and are now wanting a bit more.. "

As i suspected, the covid curveball is changing the landscape markedly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She might just have alot going on just now. Best she can do is polite chit chat. I know I am like that just now, brain dead by early evening xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ine of BootyCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow/ Manchester

This is a hard one, I saw above one of the ladies said that the more she speaks the less chance of anything sexual and I do agree there, sorry OP.

But then again, there’s not much to do just now other than talk. Why not suggest a coffee over webcam? One of my friends had a first date over FaceTime this past week, they both got the same bottle of wine and sat as if they were sharing it. I thought that sounded awkward but also fun, could try something like that maybe x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eady Eddie40Man
over a year ago

irvine

Sounds like she just doesn’t fancy it or you. You also sound a bit clingy. You can’t make people like you so just suck it up and move on. It is a swinger site after all not a dating site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

The flip of what was pointed out about talking more means less of a chance of a meet is that perhaps she, or she thinks you, see a deeper relationship growing.

Also a factor I’ve cone across is the frustration levels. Many will cease flirting and perving because the realisation that nothing can come of it for a long time is draining and bad for mental health. Abstaining and behaving can minimise that. Considered it myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the input folks. I guess we'll just have to see happens in the long run.

#StaySafe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

Sadly it happens that sometimes conversation and initial interest just fizzles out. No one's fault, it just happens. Perhaps wait to see if she gets in touch with you, if she doesn't then you have your answer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly I all too often end up friend zoning lol the majority I now wouldn't even consider anythhing sexual with because they litterally have crossed over that line of no return when you've shared so many tales and stories with each other, I have managed over the years to have a cpl of good friends that I can and do still have very much a fwb relationship because the sex came veery early in and then the friendship was built, doing it the other way for me just never feels. Right because I'm emotionally invested I don't want the sex to. Spoil it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

There is no such thing as friend zoned!

She is either in to you or she is not.

Conversation is all well and good but there are ways to socially connect without leaving the house.

That's what video calls were invented for!! Live streaming and Cams were developed by porn!!

You video chat. You mutually masturbate. You find a his and her blue tooth sex toys and you have naughty distance sex..

Whatever...

If a conversation is dragging.

She is just not that into you.. simples!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverminxWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

As i suspected, the covid curveball is changing the landscape markedly"

I think it’s bound to. If you’re only socialising with a small number of people, there’s no option for expanding it to strangers really. You could end up stuck in a bubble with a twat...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

Not sure how we could give you advice, since you've met her and been chatting to her. We weren't involved.

I find online chat in general fizzles out though. Especially now there's not much to talk about, since we're all grounded. I'm rubbish at staying in touch online, very much a face to face person instead of having to answer to "what you up to" (yeah, still fuck all) on a daily basis. And online kink doesn't float my boat, so that wouldn't be an option either. Maybe she's the same, but I'd just ask her x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

"Not sure how we could give you advice, since you've met her and been chatting to her. We weren't involved.

Definitely. Even with close friends I'm finding conversation hard going, I'm not a fan of smalltalk or talking for the sake if talking, and with less and less to talk about, it will make things harder all round. It might fizzle out, but its always possible to keep the channel open, and once this blows over maybe try and pick it back up again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The problem everybody faces in modern conversation is that instantaneous...

The old days of pen pals, meant you had days and days of things to talk about in a few pages.

Now that week/two weeks of activity can be discussed between people in a 30min exchange of instance messages.

The way people can connect more to others is through visual cues and body language.

Hence the reason I mentioned a video chat earlier.

Seeing another person watching them can be deeper that just a instance conversation.

Don't get me wrong. Two people can gave nothing to say over video too. But they might just enjoy seeing each other as much as the conversation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread