FabSwingers.com forum: Down in the dumps

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey folks , feeling a bit down in the dumps today. Anyone got a joke , funny story or just some banter

Steve

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By *ilhouette-mannyMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Hey folks , feeling a bit down in the dumps today. Anyone got a joke , funny story or just some banter

Steve "

Sounds look you need an auntydepressant.

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By *ine of BootyCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow/ Manchester

Well, here goes:

What is ET short for?

Cause he has little legs...

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By *ootall2920Man
over a year ago

Linlithgow

A boy runs into the kitchen

"Mum, can I lick the bowl?" He asks.

She replies, "No, use the toilet brush like everyone else".

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Teacher asks a little girl to make a sentince using the word contagious .

The little girl replies our neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush & my dad said it will take the contagious

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By *onmacMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Meanwhile, villagers in the Punjab are wondering who is this

Soshal distan Singh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meanwhile, villagers in the Punjab are wondering who is this

Soshal distan Singh

So, so daft....but made me chuckle

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By *onmacMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Made me snigger too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Belter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy walks into a Glasgow bar and says “pint of lager and lime please”

Barman says “ we don’t do cocktails”

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Heard a doctor on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives. So I looked through the house to find all the things I’ve started but hadn't finished...so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

I'm guessing in October, there will be a sudden baby boom...so that in 2033, they will be the Quaranteen'agers

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By *indfkdWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

Got sent this in a group chat

Are my testicles black?

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

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By *othianGuy41Man
over a year ago

anywhere

I was licking my girlfriend's fanny last night when she suddenly pushed my head away.

"What's wrong?" I asked, wiping the juice from my lips.

"She's about to give birth," replied the midwife.

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