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Brexit Funnies

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Rules are simple only jokes or funnies, no arguing .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!

Herr Schmidt

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes


"The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!

Herr Schmidt

"

I think the original joke was about the creation of Germlish. I first saw this joke about 15 or 20 years ago but a pretty good resurrection of an old classic. or zuld zat be zum?

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Rules are simple only jokes or funnies, no arguing .

"

Ok I'll play

" the UK is prepared for no deal"

As a joke that must take some beating

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By *iltsguy200Man
over a year ago

Warminster

Brexit is like unprotected sex

When you pull out it’s messy

But it’s cheaper than the alternative !

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

Nope, none of these gonna win joke of the year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/09/19 11:15:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They reckon they will get a free trade deal with the eu lol.

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By *avagliamMan
over a year ago

London


"Rules are simple only jokes or funnies, no arguing .

"

"Brexit would be great for the travel industry" Boris Johnson

23rd September 2019: 9000 jobs gone in one night after Thomas Cook (travel firm) reported 1.5bln loss for the first half of 2019. Thre British company has closed 21 of its stores, and 561 more stores could be closed as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2016..has anyone tried unplugging it...wait a few minutes ..then plugging it back in again.!

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

Brexit seems a lot like elephants reproducing:

First there's a lot if noise and stomping about. No one can tell if that's had any effect and even some years later we're waiting for the final result.

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Rules are simple only jokes or funnies, no arguing .

"Brexit would be great for the travel industry" Boris Johnson

23rd September 2019: 9000 jobs gone in one night after Thomas Cook (travel firm) reported 1.5bln loss for the first half of 2019. Thre British company has closed 21 of its stores, and 561 more stores could be closed as well.

"

I blame that nosey smug twat from the Trivago adverts. I dont KNOW if its true, I just like to think so, as it helps to justify my hatred of the woman.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

It keeps on giving without making jokes, the whole Brexit farce itself is a joke.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"It keeps on giving without making jokes, the whole Brexit farce itself is a joke. "

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By *an For YouMan
over a year ago

belfast/holywood

"I voted Remain, not just for political reasons but because my mum’s moved to Spain and I want her to stay there."

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By *an For YouMan
over a year ago

belfast/holywood


"Rules are simple only jokes or funnies, no arguing .

"Brexit would be great for the travel industry" Boris Johnson

23rd September 2019: 9000 jobs gone in one night after Thomas Cook (travel firm) reported 1.5bln loss for the first half of 2019. Thre British company has closed 21 of its stores, and 561 more stores could be closed as well.

I blame that nosey smug twat from the Trivago adverts. I dont KNOW if its true, I just like to think so, as it helps to justify my hatred of the woman."

Fuck yeah I can’t stand that smug twat

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