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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can hear the conversations in Westminster.
Prime Minister. I've been head of MI5 and shit like that for long enough to know that the Home Office should be now recruiting lots of British ferries to show those pesky europeans that we know a thing or two when it comes to navigating the high seas.
OrdinaryMinisters. But Prime Minister, we don't own many ferries. The government sold out ownership of ferry companies back in the days of privatisation. Only those pesky french kept governmental ownership of ferries.
Prime Minister. I don't know what you're talking about. Hire some of those Britain Ferries. They're obviously British. Oh and whilst you're out there, hire some of those DFDS ferries. They're British, I've seen their new year sale. Just offer a free sofa to all the truckers daft enough to buy their on board slosh broth meals in the King Trucker Restaurant. Oh, and there's a new, fledgling British business. I think it's called Seaworth Freight or something. Chris say's it's floating out of somewhere near Walmington on Sea.
OrdinaryMinisters. But, but, the only boat they've got a promise of is ex MyFerryLink and ex Sea France. And that's only because it's the only ferry left which is narrow enough to fit in the berths of the dock of the bay. The rest of those old banger boats were scrapped due to emissions regulations.
PrimeMinister. Don't be daft. We're British, we're stronger and more stable without those pesky Europeans. We don't need them. The ex MyFerryLink
dotty co maybeanotherdot uk boat is clearly going to be chartered to a company with a registered address in the posh bit of London.
OtherMinisters. But, your worshipful dominatrix, 2 of the directors are French.
PrimeMinister. What? What? so was Richard l'Engenieur, Simon deMontford, Wilhelm le Conquerant, but they all came here to Britain. So Britain is strong and stable.
OtherMinisters. But, your worshipful goddess, the boat is owned by Eurotunnel. Your monopolies and mergers commission thing allowed the frogs to keep that one boat to "carry hazardous goods" for Le Euro Tunnel.
Prime Minister. Don't be so insolent. The Channel Tunnel is British as British can be. They started digging from Britain, so it must be British. It's even got a Burger King at Dover. Run by a company which owns a chain of motorway services. And the M6 was the first ever motorway, which is British, so there.
OtherMinisters. When they dug the tunnel, they also piled all the dug out rock, earth, clay and other shit right next to the coast of England to make England a tiny bit bigger.
Prime Minister. Don't be ridiculous. You'll be quoting Shakespeare to me next. Anyway, we're getting short on willing workers, so those foreigners in dingies are gonna be very useful. All problems solved. Willing workers, people who want to come to Britain and we can get them to hold the cabbages, tomatos & frozen chicken pieces above their heads whilst they're bobbing about in the English Channel. |
