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"everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson" You should get a job on Trump's political polling team. Every week I get a spam email from the Trump campaign asking me to rate how well he is doing with the choices of: Excellent, Great, Good or OK. You ask a question just to 'head the sound' of your own voice. As you clearly are not interested in alternate suggestions of views. -Matt | |||
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"everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson You should get a job on Trump's political polling team. Every week I get a spam email from the Trump campaign asking me to rate how well he is doing with the choices of: Excellent, Great, Good or OK. You ask a question just to 'head the sound' of your own voice. As you clearly are not interested in alternate suggestions of views. -Matt" nonsense, I have asked for opinions and it is nice to see a minority few have different opinions don't you recall a few years back, the news from Reuters; Jeremy Clarkson wins online backing for PM | |||
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"everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson You should get a job on Trump's political polling team. Every week I get a spam email from the Trump campaign asking me to rate how well he is doing with the choices of: Excellent, Great, Good or OK. You ask a question just to 'head the sound' of your own voice. As you clearly are not interested in alternate suggestions of views. -Matt nonsense, I have asked for opinions and it is nice to see a minority few have different opinions don't you recall a few years back, the news from Reuters; Jeremy Clarkson wins online backing for PM" Yes, you asked for opinions, but your questions was "everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson". ie. you already have discounted anyone as being better than Clarkson, so no point answering. -Matt | |||
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"everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson You should get a job on Trump's political polling team. Every week I get a spam email from the Trump campaign asking me to rate how well he is doing with the choices of: Excellent, Great, Good or OK. You ask a question just to 'head the sound' of your own voice. As you clearly are not interested in alternate suggestions of views. -Matt nonsense, I have asked for opinions and it is nice to see a minority few have different opinions don't you recall a few years back, the news from Reuters; Jeremy Clarkson wins online backing for PM" Yes, and the public also chose to name our royal research ship Boaty McBoatface, so it shows how seriously the public take such polls. Clarkson would make a bloody awful PM. The man is a loud mouthed bully. As for who would make a good PM, I think Prince Harry would be quite good. But obviously impossible in a constitutional monarchy. Perhaps Dan Snow? Has a sense of history, so hopefully wouldn't repeat the same old mistakes. Or perhaps John Humphreys, someone that knows British politics as well as anyone could. | |||
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"Sir David Attenborough would be another excellent choice for me. "Good choice, might be getting a bit long in the tooth now though. | |||
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"I think someone like Elon Musk might be interesting, especially on infrastructure. " I think he's planning on being the first president of Mars.He is always thinking bigger than the rest of us. | |||
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"I think someone like Elon Musk might be interesting, especially on infrastructure. I think he's planning on being the first president of Mars.He is always thinking bigger than the rest of us. "That's the problem, why try fix other problems when UK is broke; I have looked back on some ideas from Jeremy in the past, once you and others read, I am sure you will soon change your mind and join the backing of the Country for Clarkson . 1 ENCOURAGE GLOBAL WARMING Britons will be encouraged, through discounts and tax relief, to drive 4x4s, Jaguars and BMWs. Not only will this give a valuable boost to our oil industry, but it will encourage climate change. And what's not to like about global warming? Holland gets flooded and we get California's weather. That's what I call a win/win situation. 2 ABOLISH CRICKET How can we take seriously a sport that stops for afternoon tea and whose followers wear striped blazers and bray like horses? Let's face it, we have been rubbish at cricket for years, so we should put an end to the endless cycle of misery in summer. My Government will bring back proper sports, such as jousting and bear-baiting 3 END THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP The only thing special about our link with the U.S. is the amount of grovelling we do. My Government will stop acting as if Britain is the 51st state of the union. The last time I went across the Atlantic, I found people so stupid I'm convinced their nearest living relative must be a gherkin. They're the sort of people who can't read a road sign without moving their lips. Plus their cars are about as sexy as Ann Widdecombe's armpit. 4 BAN HEALTH & SAFETY The safety bureaucrats are the abominable no-men, constantly dreaming up new reasons to abolish fun and hobble business. With their silly regulations, they have done more damage to British industry than the Luftwaffe. They are the human equivalent of a Lada. But at least you could drive a Lada off a cliff. 5 DEAL WITH YOUTH CRIME It's true that some juvenile oiks come from broken homes where parents have all the child-rearing skills of King Herod. But let's stop making excuses. These delinquents have been creating mayhem for too long. They need to be taught some fear. Looking down the barrel of a sub-machine gun in a prison camp on the Outer Hebrides might do the trick. 6 REMOVE SPEED CAMERAS Thanks to mass immigration, urban traffic moves at the speed of an arthritic snail. But still motorists are bullied by the rash of speed cameras, which are nothing more than a revenue-raising device. Serious criminals do not have to put up with this level of surveillance. My Government will tear down cameras and raise the motorway speed limit to 150mph. 7 TEACH BRITISH HISTORY Pupils are taught to feel ashamed of their past, our national flag is treated as an embarrassment, our heritage as a source of shame. My Government would end this cultural cringe. The only problem with the Empire is that it wasn't big enough and didn't last long enough. 8 GET OUT OF IRAQ Our involvement in Iraq has been the most misguided foreign adventure since Napoleon said: "I hear Moscow's nice at this time of year." As Prime Minister, I will bring back every British soldier and let the Iraqis get on with the national pastime of killing each other. And I'll put His Tonyness on trial for crimes against humanity and the Armed Services. 9 BRING BACK THE STOCKS Despite Big Brother, there isn't enough humiliation in public life for those who deserve it. The medieval authorities had the right idea. The Beckhams will be the first in the stocks, followed by the chairman of the Health & Safety Executive. 10 END RECYCLING HELL Putting out the rubbish used to be a simple task. Thanks to the tyrants of green officialdom, it has been turned into a nightmare. Placing the wrong garbage in the wrong bin is regarded as worse than mugging a granny. My Government will restore sanity by providing everyone with a bin the size of Bernard Manning, which will be emptied twice a week. 11 BANISH WALES In my new-look Britain, Wales will be forced to go independent. Any country that has produced Neil Kinnock, Max Boyce and Charlotte Church does not deserve to remain in the UK. 12 AND EAST ANGLIA That boring lump of flatness stretching out into the North Sea will have no place in Clarkson's Britain either. Then all those tiresome luvvies with second homes in Norfolk and Suffolk can have the thrill of going to a foreign country without flying to Tuscany. 13 BAN DIESEL CARS A diesel has all the excitement of a vegan dinner party. It might be good for you, but so is cod liver oil. The same goes for lowemission cars such as the Toyota Prius. Feeling self-righteous as you tootle around at 10mph may earn you Brownie points with the knit-your-own-lentil brigade, but to the rest of the world, you look like a sanctimonious idiot. 14 END HUMAN RIGHTS Under my Government, the rights of ordinary British citizens will have a higher priority than those of Islamic terrorists, Somalian gang-leaders and knife-wielding thugs. Homosexual pornography for deranged serial killers will not be regarded as a human right, nor will multi-million pound fees for hypocritical Leftwing lawyers milking the system. 15 KICK OUT BUREAUCRATS The former U.S. President Ronald Reagan once said that the state was like a baby's alimentary canal: endless appetite at one end and utter irresponsibility at the other. My Government will reduce taxes by cracking down on all pen-sucking, paper-pushing jobsworths, outreach counsellors and parking enforcers, equality officers and drugs co-ordinators. Those who resist will be fed very, very slowly into their own office shredders. 16 FREEDOM TO SMOKE In my Britain, smoking will no longer be seen as a crime against humanity. In fact, cigarettes will be encouraged in order to reduce the burden on the NHS and state pensions. After all, smokers perform a valuable public services by paying extortionate taxation, then generally failing to reach old age. The Marlboro Man has done more for our economy than any Chancellor. 17 BRITISH INDEPENDENCE We fought the last war for our independence, and now we're under the heel of the unelected eurocrats of Brussels. Under my rule, Britain will withdraw from the EU, so we will no longer be governed by a bunch of sausage-eating Germans, French cheese-eating surrender monkeys and kebab-swallowing Greeks. 18 NO MORE COOL BRITANNIA Cool is just a fancy word for pretentious or unpopular. The Clarkson Downing Street will not be interested in appearing "cool". Instead, my team will be encouraged to listen to Seventies rock music and wear figure-hugging blue jeans, no matter what their age. 19 CRACKDOWN ON CYCLISTS Cycling is just as dreary as recycling and twice as pointless. My Government will come down heavily on this sanctimonious activity by introducing new taxes on Lycra, plastic helmets and the bicycles themselves. Altogether now: "Four wheels good, two wheels bad." 20 PUBLIC EXECUTIONS Only those without any romantic sense of the richness of British history could pretend not to miss the public hangings at Newgate. The restoration of judicial killings before a cheering crowd would not only bring back some much needed colour to British life, but would also give the doomed prisoner the satisfaction of a brief burst of celebrity | |||
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"You've either had a bang on the head or should stop it with the magic Mushrooms.. He's an irritating, obnoxious prat.. "  | |||
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"If you had to select a New Prime Minister without a political background but someone who is famous, who would you choose. . I suspect the majority here would agree that this would be a no brainer of a question and we would all back and support the great JEREMY CLARKSON . His comments, actions and intentions would make him perfect to become Prime Minister of the UK . everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson" Interesting , J C is a professional comedian and clown x this has made him a lot of money and he is pretty good at it Glad to know you want to replace the current comedians and clowns with a professional x But if you think you know what JC really thinks and what is a stage show I think you will be mistaken , he knows his audience and dumbs his act down accordingly xxx | |||
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"I think someone like Elon Musk might be interesting, especially on infrastructure. I think he's planning on being the first president of Mars.He is always thinking bigger than the rest of us.
That's the problem, why try fix other problems when UK is broke;
I have looked back on some ideas from Jeremy in the past, once you and others read, I am sure you will soon change your mind and join the backing of the Country for Clarkson
.
1 ENCOURAGE GLOBAL WARMING
Britons will be encouraged, through discounts and tax relief, to drive 4x4s, Jaguars and BMWs. Not only will this give a valuable boost to our oil industry, but it will encourage climate change. And what's not to like about global warming? Holland gets flooded and we get California's weather. That's what I call a win/win situation.
2 ABOLISH CRICKET
How can we take seriously a sport that stops for afternoon tea and whose followers wear striped blazers and bray like horses? Let's face it, we have been rubbish at cricket for years, so we should put an end to the endless cycle of misery in summer. My Government will bring back proper sports, such as jousting and bear-baiting
3 END THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
The only thing special about our link with the U.S. is the amount of grovelling we do. My Government will stop acting as if Britain is the 51st state of the union. The last time I went across the Atlantic, I found people so stupid I'm convinced their nearest living relative must be a gherkin. They're the sort of people who can't read a road sign without moving their lips. Plus their cars are about as sexy as Ann Widdecombe's armpit.
4 BAN HEALTH & SAFETY
The safety bureaucrats are the abominable no-men, constantly dreaming up new reasons to abolish fun and hobble business. With their silly regulations, they have done more damage to British industry than the Luftwaffe. They are the human equivalent of a Lada. But at least you could drive a Lada off a cliff.
5 DEAL WITH YOUTH CRIME
It's true that some juvenile oiks come from broken homes where parents have all the child-rearing skills of King Herod. But let's stop making excuses. These delinquents have been creating mayhem for too long. They need to be taught some fear. Looking down the barrel of a sub-machine gun in a prison camp on the Outer Hebrides might do the trick.
6 REMOVE SPEED CAMERAS
Thanks to mass immigration, urban traffic moves at the speed of an arthritic snail. But still motorists are bullied by the rash of speed cameras, which are nothing more than a revenue-raising device. Serious criminals do not have to put up with this level of surveillance. My Government will tear down cameras and raise the motorway speed limit to 150mph.
7 TEACH BRITISH HISTORY
Pupils are taught to feel ashamed of their past, our national flag is treated as an embarrassment, our heritage as a source of shame. My Government would end this cultural cringe. The only problem with the Empire is that it wasn't big enough and didn't last long enough.
8 GET OUT OF IRAQ
Our involvement in Iraq has been the most misguided foreign adventure since Napoleon said: "I hear Moscow's nice at this time of year." As Prime Minister, I will bring back every British soldier and let the Iraqis get on with the national pastime of killing each other. And I'll put His Tonyness on trial for crimes against humanity and the Armed Services.
9 BRING BACK THE STOCKS
Despite Big Brother, there isn't enough humiliation in public life for those who deserve it. The medieval authorities had the right idea. The Beckhams will be the first in the stocks, followed by the chairman of the Health & Safety Executive.
10 END RECYCLING HELL
Putting out the rubbish used to be a simple task. Thanks to the tyrants of green officialdom, it has been turned into a nightmare. Placing the wrong garbage in the wrong bin is regarded as worse than mugging a granny. My Government will restore sanity by providing everyone with a bin the size of Bernard Manning, which will be emptied twice a week.
11 BANISH WALES
In my new-look Britain, Wales will be forced to go independent. Any country that has produced Neil Kinnock, Max Boyce and Charlotte Church does not deserve to remain in the UK.
12 AND EAST ANGLIA
That boring lump of flatness stretching out into the North Sea will have no place in Clarkson's Britain either. Then all those tiresome luvvies with second homes in Norfolk and Suffolk can have the thrill of going to a foreign country without flying to Tuscany.
13 BAN DIESEL CARS
A diesel has all the excitement of a vegan dinner party. It might be good for you, but so is cod liver oil. The same goes for lowemission cars such as the Toyota Prius. Feeling self-righteous as you tootle around at 10mph may earn you Brownie points with the knit-your-own-lentil brigade, but to the rest of the world, you look like a sanctimonious idiot.
14 END HUMAN RIGHTS
Under my Government, the rights of ordinary British citizens will have a higher priority than those of Islamic terrorists, Somalian gang-leaders and knife-wielding thugs. Homosexual pornography for deranged serial killers will not be regarded as a human right, nor will multi-million pound fees for hypocritical Leftwing lawyers milking the system.
15 KICK OUT BUREAUCRATS
The former U.S. President Ronald Reagan once said that the state was like a baby's alimentary canal: endless appetite at one end and utter irresponsibility at the other. My Government will reduce taxes by cracking down on all pen-sucking, paper-pushing jobsworths, outreach counsellors and parking enforcers, equality officers and drugs co-ordinators. Those who resist will be fed very, very slowly into their own office shredders.
16 FREEDOM TO SMOKE
In my Britain, smoking will no longer be seen as a crime against humanity. In fact, cigarettes will be encouraged in order to reduce the burden on the NHS and state pensions. After all, smokers perform a valuable public services by paying extortionate taxation, then generally failing to reach old age. The Marlboro Man has done more for our economy than any Chancellor.
17 BRITISH INDEPENDENCE
We fought the last war for our independence, and now we're under the heel of the unelected eurocrats of Brussels. Under my rule, Britain will withdraw from the EU, so we will no longer be governed by a bunch of sausage-eating Germans, French cheese-eating surrender monkeys and kebab-swallowing Greeks.
18 NO MORE COOL BRITANNIA
Cool is just a fancy word for pretentious or unpopular. The Clarkson Downing Street will not be interested in appearing "cool". Instead, my team will be encouraged to listen to Seventies rock music and wear figure-hugging blue jeans, no matter what their age.
19 CRACKDOWN ON CYCLISTS
Cycling is just as dreary as recycling and twice as pointless. My Government will come down heavily on this sanctimonious activity by introducing new taxes on Lycra, plastic helmets and the bicycles themselves. Altogether now: "Four wheels good, two wheels bad."
20 PUBLIC EXECUTIONS
Only those without any romantic sense of the richness of British history could pretend not to miss the public hangings at Newgate. The restoration of judicial killings before a cheering crowd would not only bring back some much needed colour to British life, but would also give the doomed prisoner the satisfaction of a brief burst of celebrity
"I'm somewhat amazed that many on the right seriously support some of this but I'm even more amazed that so many on the left actually think Clarkson was being serious. Massive sense of humour failures from both right and left. My vote would be Julian Clary. Not sure what his policies would be but he's such a nice boy.  | |||
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"I think someone like Elon Musk might be interesting, especially on infrastructure. " 100% agree with this. A person with vision, who delivers innovative projects and who understands the concept of business | |||
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"I think someone like Elon Musk might be interesting, especially on infrastructure. I think he's planning on being the first president of Mars.He is always thinking bigger than the rest of us.
That's the problem, why try fix other problems when UK is broke;
I have looked back on some ideas from Jeremy in the past, once you and others read, I am sure you will soon change your mind and join the backing of the Country for Clarkson
.
1 ENCOURAGE GLOBAL WARMING
Britons will be encouraged, through discounts and tax relief, to drive 4x4s, Jaguars and BMWs. Not only will this give a valuable boost to our oil industry, but it will encourage climate change. And what's not to like about global warming? Holland gets flooded and we get California's weather. That's what I call a win/win situation.
2 ABOLISH CRICKET
How can we take seriously a sport that stops for afternoon tea and whose followers wear striped blazers and bray like horses? Let's face it, we have been rubbish at cricket for years, so we should put an end to the endless cycle of misery in summer. My Government will bring back proper sports, such as jousting and bear-baiting
3 END THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
The only thing special about our link with the U.S. is the amount of grovelling we do. My Government will stop acting as if Britain is the 51st state of the union. The last time I went across the Atlantic, I found people so stupid I'm convinced their nearest living relative must be a gherkin. They're the sort of people who can't read a road sign without moving their lips. Plus their cars are about as sexy as Ann Widdecombe's armpit.
4 BAN HEALTH & SAFETY
The safety bureaucrats are the abominable no-men, constantly dreaming up new reasons to abolish fun and hobble business. With their silly regulations, they have done more damage to British industry than the Luftwaffe. They are the human equivalent of a Lada. But at least you could drive a Lada off a cliff.
5 DEAL WITH YOUTH CRIME
It's true that some juvenile oiks come from broken homes where parents have all the child-rearing skills of King Herod. But let's stop making excuses. These delinquents have been creating mayhem for too long. They need to be taught some fear. Looking down the barrel of a sub-machine gun in a prison camp on the Outer Hebrides might do the trick.
6 REMOVE SPEED CAMERAS
Thanks to mass immigration, urban traffic moves at the speed of an arthritic snail. But still motorists are bullied by the rash of speed cameras, which are nothing more than a revenue-raising device. Serious criminals do not have to put up with this level of surveillance. My Government will tear down cameras and raise the motorway speed limit to 150mph.
7 TEACH BRITISH HISTORY
Pupils are taught to feel ashamed of their past, our national flag is treated as an embarrassment, our heritage as a source of shame. My Government would end this cultural cringe. The only problem with the Empire is that it wasn't big enough and didn't last long enough.
8 GET OUT OF IRAQ
Our involvement in Iraq has been the most misguided foreign adventure since Napoleon said: "I hear Moscow's nice at this time of year." As Prime Minister, I will bring back every British soldier and let the Iraqis get on with the national pastime of killing each other. And I'll put His Tonyness on trial for crimes against humanity and the Armed Services.
9 BRING BACK THE STOCKS
Despite Big Brother, there isn't enough humiliation in public life for those who deserve it. The medieval authorities had the right idea. The Beckhams will be the first in the stocks, followed by the chairman of the Health & Safety Executive.
10 END RECYCLING HELL
Putting out the rubbish used to be a simple task. Thanks to the tyrants of green officialdom, it has been turned into a nightmare. Placing the wrong garbage in the wrong bin is regarded as worse than mugging a granny. My Government will restore sanity by providing everyone with a bin the size of Bernard Manning, which will be emptied twice a week.
11 BANISH WALES
In my new-look Britain, Wales will be forced to go independent. Any country that has produced Neil Kinnock, Max Boyce and Charlotte Church does not deserve to remain in the UK.
12 AND EAST ANGLIA
That boring lump of flatness stretching out into the North Sea will have no place in Clarkson's Britain either. Then all those tiresome luvvies with second homes in Norfolk and Suffolk can have the thrill of going to a foreign country without flying to Tuscany.
13 BAN DIESEL CARS
A diesel has all the excitement of a vegan dinner party. It might be good for you, but so is cod liver oil. The same goes for lowemission cars such as the Toyota Prius. Feeling self-righteous as you tootle around at 10mph may earn you Brownie points with the knit-your-own-lentil brigade, but to the rest of the world, you look like a sanctimonious idiot.
14 END HUMAN RIGHTS
Under my Government, the rights of ordinary British citizens will have a higher priority than those of Islamic terrorists, Somalian gang-leaders and knife-wielding thugs. Homosexual pornography for deranged serial killers will not be regarded as a human right, nor will multi-million pound fees for hypocritical Leftwing lawyers milking the system.
15 KICK OUT BUREAUCRATS
The former U.S. President Ronald Reagan once said that the state was like a baby's alimentary canal: endless appetite at one end and utter irresponsibility at the other. My Government will reduce taxes by cracking down on all pen-sucking, paper-pushing jobsworths, outreach counsellors and parking enforcers, equality officers and drugs co-ordinators. Those who resist will be fed very, very slowly into their own office shredders.
16 FREEDOM TO SMOKE
In my Britain, smoking will no longer be seen as a crime against humanity. In fact, cigarettes will be encouraged in order to reduce the burden on the NHS and state pensions. After all, smokers perform a valuable public services by paying extortionate taxation, then generally failing to reach old age. The Marlboro Man has done more for our economy than any Chancellor.
17 BRITISH INDEPENDENCE
We fought the last war for our independence, and now we're under the heel of the unelected eurocrats of Brussels. Under my rule, Britain will withdraw from the EU, so we will no longer be governed by a bunch of sausage-eating Germans, French cheese-eating surrender monkeys and kebab-swallowing Greeks.
18 NO MORE COOL BRITANNIA
Cool is just a fancy word for pretentious or unpopular. The Clarkson Downing Street will not be interested in appearing "cool". Instead, my team will be encouraged to listen to Seventies rock music and wear figure-hugging blue jeans, no matter what their age.
19 CRACKDOWN ON CYCLISTS
Cycling is just as dreary as recycling and twice as pointless. My Government will come down heavily on this sanctimonious activity by introducing new taxes on Lycra, plastic helmets and the bicycles themselves. Altogether now: "Four wheels good, two wheels bad."
20 PUBLIC EXECUTIONS
Only those without any romantic sense of the richness of British history could pretend not to miss the public hangings at Newgate. The restoration of judicial killings before a cheering crowd would not only bring back some much needed colour to British life, but would also give the doomed prisoner the satisfaction of a brief burst of celebrity
I'm somewhat amazed that many on the right seriously support some of this but I'm even more amazed that so many on the left actually think Clarkson was being serious. Massive sense of humour failures from both right and left.
My vote would be Julian Clary. Not sure what his policies would be but he's such a nice boy.
"FFS, it was - "Leo McKinstry" that wrote the above - in the spirit of fun sadly no one here is able to switch on their humour, it severely lacks here | |||
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"I would have thought the current clusterfuck in the US would have disabused people of the notion that running a business makes you suited in any way for public office." I suppose the difference is the word "successful". Musk is, Trump isn't. | |||
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"If you had to select a New Prime Minister without a political background but someone who is famous, who would you choose. . I suspect the majority here would agree that this would be a no brainer of a question and we would all back and support the great JEREMY CLARKSON . His comments, actions and intentions would make him perfect to become Prime Minister of the UK . everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson" Have'nt we got enough comics running countries with Trump? | |||
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"I think someone like Elon Musk might be interesting, especially on infrastructure. I think he's planning on being the first president of Mars.He is always thinking bigger than the rest of us.
That's the problem, why try fix other problems when UK is broke;
I have looked back on some ideas from Jeremy in the past, once you and others read, I am sure you will soon change your mind and join the backing of the Country for Clarkson
.
1 ENCOURAGE GLOBAL WARMING
Britons will be encouraged, through discounts and tax relief, to drive 4x4s, Jaguars and BMWs. Not only will this give a valuable boost to our oil industry, but it will encourage climate change. And what's not to like about global warming? Holland gets flooded and we get California's weather. That's what I call a win/win situation.
2 ABOLISH CRICKET
How can we take seriously a sport that stops for afternoon tea and whose followers wear striped blazers and bray like horses? Let's face it, we have been rubbish at cricket for years, so we should put an end to the endless cycle of misery in summer. My Government will bring back proper sports, such as jousting and bear-baiting
3 END THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
The only thing special about our link with the U.S. is the amount of grovelling we do. My Government will stop acting as if Britain is the 51st state of the union. The last time I went across the Atlantic, I found people so stupid I'm convinced their nearest living relative must be a gherkin. They're the sort of people who can't read a road sign without moving their lips. Plus their cars are about as sexy as Ann Widdecombe's armpit.
4 BAN HEALTH & SAFETY
The safety bureaucrats are the abominable no-men, constantly dreaming up new reasons to abolish fun and hobble business. With their silly regulations, they have done more damage to British industry than the Luftwaffe. They are the human equivalent of a Lada. But at least you could drive a Lada off a cliff.
5 DEAL WITH YOUTH CRIME
It's true that some juvenile oiks come from broken homes where parents have all the child-rearing skills of King Herod. But let's stop making excuses. These delinquents have been creating mayhem for too long. They need to be taught some fear. Looking down the barrel of a sub-machine gun in a prison camp on the Outer Hebrides might do the trick.
6 REMOVE SPEED CAMERAS
Thanks to mass immigration, urban traffic moves at the speed of an arthritic snail. But still motorists are bullied by the rash of speed cameras, which are nothing more than a revenue-raising device. Serious criminals do not have to put up with this level of surveillance. My Government will tear down cameras and raise the motorway speed limit to 150mph.
7 TEACH BRITISH HISTORY
Pupils are taught to feel ashamed of their past, our national flag is treated as an embarrassment, our heritage as a source of shame. My Government would end this cultural cringe. The only problem with the Empire is that it wasn't big enough and didn't last long enough.
8 GET OUT OF IRAQ
Our involvement in Iraq has been the most misguided foreign adventure since Napoleon said: "I hear Moscow's nice at this time of year." As Prime Minister, I will bring back every British soldier and let the Iraqis get on with the national pastime of killing each other. And I'll put His Tonyness on trial for crimes against humanity and the Armed Services.
9 BRING BACK THE STOCKS
Despite Big Brother, there isn't enough humiliation in public life for those who deserve it. The medieval authorities had the right idea. The Beckhams will be the first in the stocks, followed by the chairman of the Health & Safety Executive.
10 END RECYCLING HELL
Putting out the rubbish used to be a simple task. Thanks to the tyrants of green officialdom, it has been turned into a nightmare. Placing the wrong garbage in the wrong bin is regarded as worse than mugging a granny. My Government will restore sanity by providing everyone with a bin the size of Bernard Manning, which will be emptied twice a week.
11 BANISH WALES
In my new-look Britain, Wales will be forced to go independent. Any country that has produced Neil Kinnock, Max Boyce and Charlotte Church does not deserve to remain in the UK.
12 AND EAST ANGLIA
That boring lump of flatness stretching out into the North Sea will have no place in Clarkson's Britain either. Then all those tiresome luvvies with second homes in Norfolk and Suffolk can have the thrill of going to a foreign country without flying to Tuscany.
13 BAN DIESEL CARS
A diesel has all the excitement of a vegan dinner party. It might be good for you, but so is cod liver oil. The same goes for lowemission cars such as the Toyota Prius. Feeling self-righteous as you tootle around at 10mph may earn you Brownie points with the knit-your-own-lentil brigade, but to the rest of the world, you look like a sanctimonious idiot.
14 END HUMAN RIGHTS
Under my Government, the rights of ordinary British citizens will have a higher priority than those of Islamic terrorists, Somalian gang-leaders and knife-wielding thugs. Homosexual pornography for deranged serial killers will not be regarded as a human right, nor will multi-million pound fees for hypocritical Leftwing lawyers milking the system.
15 KICK OUT BUREAUCRATS
The former U.S. President Ronald Reagan once said that the state was like a baby's alimentary canal: endless appetite at one end and utter irresponsibility at the other. My Government will reduce taxes by cracking down on all pen-sucking, paper-pushing jobsworths, outreach counsellors and parking enforcers, equality officers and drugs co-ordinators. Those who resist will be fed very, very slowly into their own office shredders.
16 FREEDOM TO SMOKE
In my Britain, smoking will no longer be seen as a crime against humanity. In fact, cigarettes will be encouraged in order to reduce the burden on the NHS and state pensions. After all, smokers perform a valuable public services by paying extortionate taxation, then generally failing to reach old age. The Marlboro Man has done more for our economy than any Chancellor.
17 BRITISH INDEPENDENCE
We fought the last war for our independence, and now we're under the heel of the unelected eurocrats of Brussels. Under my rule, Britain will withdraw from the EU, so we will no longer be governed by a bunch of sausage-eating Germans, French cheese-eating surrender monkeys and kebab-swallowing Greeks.
18 NO MORE COOL BRITANNIA
Cool is just a fancy word for pretentious or unpopular. The Clarkson Downing Street will not be interested in appearing "cool". Instead, my team will be encouraged to listen to Seventies rock music and wear figure-hugging blue jeans, no matter what their age.
19 CRACKDOWN ON CYCLISTS
Cycling is just as dreary as recycling and twice as pointless. My Government will come down heavily on this sanctimonious activity by introducing new taxes on Lycra, plastic helmets and the bicycles themselves. Altogether now: "Four wheels good, two wheels bad."
20 PUBLIC EXECUTIONS
Only those without any romantic sense of the richness of British history could pretend not to miss the public hangings at Newgate. The restoration of judicial killings before a cheering crowd would not only bring back some much needed colour to British life, but would also give the doomed prisoner the satisfaction of a brief burst of celebrity
I'm somewhat amazed that many on the right seriously support some of this but I'm even more amazed that so many on the left actually think Clarkson was being serious. Massive sense of humour failures from both right and left.
My vote would be Julian Clary. Not sure what his policies would be but he's such a nice boy.
FFS, it was - "Leo McKinstry" that wrote the above - in the spirit of fun
sadly no one here is able to switch on their humour, it severely lacks here "OK Sense of humour. The ultimate self obsessed comedian who thinks she runs Scotland successfully. | |||
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"If you had to select a New Prime Minister without a political background but someone who is famous, who would you choose. . I suspect the majority here would agree that this would be a no brainer of a question and we would all back and support the great JEREMY CLARKSON . His comments, actions and intentions would make him perfect to become Prime Minister of the UK . everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson" 2006 called and they want their post back | |||
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"If you had to select a New Prime Minister without a political background but someone who is famous, who would you choose. . I suspect the majority here would agree that this would be a no brainer of a question and we would all back and support the great JEREMY CLARKSON . His comments, actions and intentions would make him perfect to become Prime Minister of the UK . everyone agree, or do you consider someone else that could fill this job, even if not as good as Clarkson 2006 called and they want their post back " lol, you cant even get the date right lol | |||
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" FFS, it was - "Leo McKinstry" that wrote the above - in the spirit of fun sadly no one here is able to switch on their humour, it severely lacks here
OK
Sense of humour.
The ultimate self obsessed comedian who thinks she runs Scotland successfully.
"agree, she lost my vote and I had been voting for them for past 30 years  | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters" This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be" JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper!" Everybody loves Clarkson and I am sure we all agree he is spot on with his views | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! Everybody loves Clarkson and I am sure we all agree he is spot on with his views" Op your original post was flawed. he is not non political and lists some of his friends as David Cameron! Just because you like him does not make him right...but right wing yes! | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! Everybody loves Clarkson and I am sure we all agree he is spot on with his views Op your original post was flawed. he is not non political and lists some of his friends as David Cameron! Just because you like him does not make him right...but right wing yes!" ok, I would be happy to go with Waters, but he has focus's on US government rather than his homeland you booked up to see him this year? I have front seat tickets for a change, usually prefer further back to see the whole stage and show, but this year I will focus on his new line up | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! Everybody loves Clarkson and I am sure we all agree he is spot on with his views Op your original post was flawed. he is not non political and lists some of his friends as David Cameron! Just because you like him does not make him right...but right wing yes! ok, I would be happy to go with Waters, but he has focus's on US government rather than his homeland you booked up to see him this year? I have front seat tickets for a change, usually prefer further back to see the whole stage and show, but this year I will focus on his new line up" Yes got tickets for brum Prefer further back but having said that never got the chance to get nearer. As for us politics..The Final cut album was anti Margaret Thatcher in every way! | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! Everybody loves Clarkson " Not even Clarkson likes Clarkson. | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! Everybody loves Clarkson and I am sure we all agree he is spot on with his views Op your original post was flawed. he is not non political and lists some of his friends as David Cameron! Just because you like him does not make him right...but right wing yes! ok, I would be happy to go with Waters, but he has focus's on US government rather than his homeland you booked up to see him this year? I have front seat tickets for a change, usually prefer further back to see the whole stage and show, but this year I will focus on his new line up Yes got tickets for brum Prefer further back but having said that never got the chance to get nearer. As for us politics..The Final cut album was anti Margaret Thatcher in every way!" Oh Maggie, Maggie what have we done
I kind of follow him, try to see every year possible, he was totally against trump at "Oldchella" concert in Indio, a good few pro Trump fans in audience too
Best concert I attended was In the Flesh, I think Doyle Bramhall is amazing on guitar, amazing band line up, shame its different on this tour | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! Everybody loves Clarkson and I am sure we all agree he is spot on with his views Op your original post was flawed. he is not non political and lists some of his friends as David Cameron! Just because you like him does not make him right...but right wing yes! ok, I would be happy to go with Waters, but he has focus's on US government rather than his homeland you booked up to see him this year? I have front seat tickets for a change, usually prefer further back to see the whole stage and show, but this year I will focus on his new line up Yes got tickets for brum Prefer further back but having said that never got the chance to get nearer. As for us politics..The Final cut album was anti Margaret Thatcher in every way!"
And pinochet, Reagan and several other horrible fuckers.. | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! Everybody loves Clarkson and I am sure we all agree he is spot on with his views Op your original post was flawed. he is not non political and lists some of his friends as David Cameron! Just because you like him does not make him right...but right wing yes! ok, I would be happy to go with Waters, but he has focus's on US government rather than his homeland you booked up to see him this year? I have front seat tickets for a change, usually prefer further back to see the whole stage and show, but this year I will focus on his new line up Yes got tickets for brum Prefer further back but having said that never got the chance to get nearer. As for us politics..The Final cut album was anti Margaret Thatcher in every way!
And pinochet, Reagan and several other horrible fuckers.. "Colonial wasters of life and limp..is everyone in..now the final solution can be applied | |||
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"Billy Bragg or Roger Waters This thread is for "NON POLITICAL" Roger Waters is far from "non Political" as great as he may be JEREMY CLARKSON?? is non political..right. I must have been mistaken when i used to see his section every week in a certain right wing paper! Everybody loves Clarkson and I am sure we all agree he is spot on with his views Op your original post was flawed. he is not non political and lists some of his friends as David Cameron! Just because you like him does not make him right...but right wing yes! ok, I would be happy to go with Waters, but he has focus's on US government rather than his homeland you booked up to see him this year? I have front seat tickets for a change, usually prefer further back to see the whole stage and show, but this year I will focus on his new line up Yes got tickets for brum Prefer further back but having said that never got the chance to get nearer. As for us politics..The Final cut album was anti Margaret Thatcher in every way!
And pinochet, Reagan and several other horrible fuckers..
Colonial wasters of life and limp..is everyone in..now the final solution can be applied "Had a proper stand up row with another squaddie who said it was treason and not patriotic to play it. Cunt.. | |||
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"I would have thought the current clusterfuck in the US would have disabused people of the notion that running a business makes you suited in any way for public office." To be fair Trump didn't really run a business, he just crashed them into the wall, got out of the wreckage, stuffed suppliers and staff then repeated the exercise. As for a new leader, well if the Dalai Llama isn't up for it, I'd have to throw the hat of, well no one into the ring. | |||
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